Tribe of Men

WEBVTT

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What's a tribe?

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You probably heard men, especially if you listen to men's channels like mine.

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Talk about the idea of having a tribe of men around you.

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I have certainly made references to it in previous episodes.

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I've talked about men's groups as well with and without guests.

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And in the Manosphere, I have heard the term thrown around frequently.

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Many men saying, find your tribe.

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However, do you really know what a tribe is?

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Because it's not just your buddies.

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That's what a lot of guys think it is, is just simply having a good close group of friends that are men.

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Some men will even see, say they've found their tribe because they joined a men's group of their church or something, or they have that group of friends.

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They've been around since high school, right?

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Those three or four guys, they've the pros they've been around forever.

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Still not a tribe guys.

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Chances are you probably don't have one, but you should.

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And in this episode, we're going to break down exactly what a tribe is, what it's like, and.

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Why it's worth having one.

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So let's get into it.

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Here's the million dollar question.

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How do men like us reach our full potential, growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working.

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Being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves.

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Well, that's the big question in this podcast.

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We'll help you answer those questions and more.

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My name is Brent and welcome to the fallible man podcast.

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No guys, because I like to look things up.

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I looked up the definition of tribe because there are several, like, you know, it's one of those that has multiple definitions for the word.

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If you go into a dictionary and Hey, just for good measure, I looked it up the mic.

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Five or six different dictionaries, you know, those, they, they're those old things, the thick heavy books, most people don't have them these days, but I looked it up online as well, but I didn't look it up in the dictionary and out of the multiple definitions for tribe, I found one that was kind of close to how we define it or how it really should be defined.

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And it goes something like this.

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A group or class of people with strong common traits, values, or interest.

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I would say with com common traits, values, and interests, by the way, my name is Brent and welcome to the fallible man podcast.

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You're home for all things, man, big shout out to fallible nation.

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That's our longtime listeners.

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That's why I lovingly call them and a warm welcome to you.

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If this is your first time with us, Hey, thanks for giving us a chance.

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I know there's a lot of competing for your attention, so I really do appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

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We're a simple production and it's just me most of the time.

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So thanks for giving us a chance.

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If you enjoy it, be sure and connect with me at the follow man on most social media platforms.

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I'm specifically active on Facebook or sorry, not Facebook on Instagram.

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Ooh, there's a gap.

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And that's the easiest way to connect with me.

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I'd love to hear what you think of the show.

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So go ahead and message me.

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Let me know if you enjoy it.

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If you like it, share it with a friend.

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And Hey, if you really like it, leave us a review that helps more people find us.

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Now, why am I writing about tribes today?

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Okay.

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So tribes have a lot of value, but you have to understand what you're looking for.

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And the truth is for a long time, I thought I understood it until I actually found my tribe.

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And once I did, I was shocked because it wasn't what I had pictured and it wasn't what I understood.

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Good.

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But there's so much value in it.

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So I wanted to kind of clear this up for a lot of guys, because it's one to say thing to say, I'm going to hang out with the bros.

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Like I have a group of guys.

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I go have a game night with every week and we play everything from Dungeons and Dragons.

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Yes, I know I'm 44 and I play Dungeons and Dragons.

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Cause you know what?

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It's actually a really cool game.

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I actually feel kind of bad about mocking it in my younger years.

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Uh, but I'm really tight with those guys, but they're the bros, they're friends.

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They're not tribe.

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There's some good friends, but they're not tribe.

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So to make this easier, because actually fleshing out a really solid definition is a little complex.

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I wanted to start with what it's not.

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So I got a list for you.

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Okay.

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It's not a group of buddies, the boys, your homies.

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These men should be part of your tribe, but usually they're not okay.

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And I'm talking like the boys that you've been hanging out with forever.

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They're probably not your tribe.

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It's not a church men's group.

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This is a really useful group and they can do a lot for you and be a huge blessing, but it's not necessarily your tribe, good group of guys, a lot of support, good place to connect and have really strong male friendships.

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Not necessarily your tribe.

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It's not a group of coworkers, right?

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I said, common interest common.

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Yeah.

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It's not a group of coworkers.

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It's not a Facebook group around a show like this one, our other men's shows.

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We talked about the Manosphere and like some of the shows have, I had a Facebook group for a while.

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I was like, no, that's kind of stupid because I'm not a big social media person, but I know men's shows.

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I won't name them that have Facebook groups.

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Nothing wrong with that.

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Sure.

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There's a bunch of good stuff that goes on there.

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I'm actually part of one.

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I don't check it because really nothing useful actually goes on there that I've seen.

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So I just don't go to it.

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It's not that it's not a sounding board.

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It's not a group of guys to just sit and listen to you, bitch.

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Go totally, totally, totally.

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That's what I used.

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That's what I actually found on those Facebook groups.

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Totally useless.

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You don't need them.

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And it's certainly not an echo chamber.

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Echo chambers are a really fancy term for a group with common beliefs that sit and just resound the same idea over and over again.

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Like, Oh yeah, that's a good idea.

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Yeah.

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We all agree.

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That's a good idea.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And you say things like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Cause we all agree.

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Nothing actually gets solved there.

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Okay.

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So I went ahead and start with what is not, because there's a lot of.

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Misunderstanding because I had a lot of misunderstanding before I found my tribe about what it was.

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Now, how do I know it?

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Because I found my tribe and I was shocked at what I had been missing once I found something so incredibly powerful.

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I thought I found it several times, mistake what it was several times.

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When I found it, it was unlike anything I had ever experienced.

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So what is it?

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Right.

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I explained what is not, what is it?

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Like I said, it's really hard to set a solid definition, but this is the way I can best describe it to you.

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A tribe is a group bound by common interests, common goals, common values, and common character.

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So let me illustrate this by telling you a little bit of my, about my tribe.

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My tribe is made up of entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, and business people.

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They're all business owners.

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Some of them have multiple businesses.

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Most of them do one or two of them only have one there.

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We're all trying to grow our businesses ethically.

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With integrity, all of our businesses are people service based businesses focused on helping people grow to a better variation of themselves.

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Some of our entrepreneurs are the fitness industry.

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Some of them are in the personal development industry.

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All of them are focused on helping their clients and customers grow in a way that makes their lives better.

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They all, we all have a common devotion to helping each other level up personally and professionally, because you can't level up professionally.

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If you're not willing to put in the work personally.

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So there's growth on both the professional and personal side inside the group.

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And we do it with honest advice, sharing life lessons that we've learned.

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Business lessons we've learned, holding each other accountable.

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My tribe tells me when I'm hurting myself professionally or personally, right?

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If I'm getting in my own way, they critique me and provide healthy criticism while also being encouraging and supportive, but they don't pull any punches.

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If I'm being dumb, they tell me.

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We don't expect each other to drop everything when someone needs help.

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Because everybody in the group is chasing their own vision.

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They're chasing their own dreams or chasing their own goals.

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And we know everybody's busy, but we do prioritize getting back to each other because we've committed to lifting each other up as well as our own selves.

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So I know that's like really convoluted, but I'm trying to describe this to you because it's so hard to describe.

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So do you have a group that makes you better every time you're together?

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A group working towards achieving the goals that you want to, not just talking about achieving goals, But actually putting in the work and doing it a group that empowers and encourages you to chase your goals while holding you accountable to your goals.

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The demands, the best version of you demands you level up because you leveling up levels up the whole group.

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Do you actually hunger to be with them so much?

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And I couldn't find a better word than that.

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Sorry.

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If it's weird, do you actually need to be with them and want to be around them so extremely much?

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To the point where you would pay to be among these bin, because the privilege of being among them is so extreme that it's past a monetary value for you, even because the value you get back is so amazing.

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Do you feel a bulletproof and unstoppable when you part ways?

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I only meet with these people.

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Usually at most once a month, I clear my schedule.

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Nothing else happens.

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I would pay to be a part of the group because I come away with so much value personally, professionally, for my business, for my family, for myself.

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And they're, they're checking in on me all the time.

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We have an ongoing chat.

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I'm like, Hey, how are you proceeding on this?

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Hey, are you making headway on this?

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And I can be like, Hey, I got a question about this.

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And other people are like, Hey, I got a question about this guys.

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I'm, I'm a paid podcast consultant.

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I get paid by podcasters, other podcasters.

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To help them with their shows.

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I have multiple podcasters in my group.

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I've never charged them anything.

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Likewise, they've never charged me anything to do one on ones and really kind of flesh something out when I was jammed up, vice versa, the value we bring together with this group.

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makes everybody's lives and businesses better.

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This is a tribe.

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Okay.

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Some of these things sound interchangeable with a men's group, your buddies, or even echo chambers, right?

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You get a piece of that here, a little bit of that here, a surface level piece of that here, but they're not necessarily truly a tribe.

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We're not talking about a pride of lions.

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It's the easy way to illustrate it.

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Right?

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We're not talking about a pride of lions where you've got the different groups.

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Think of this as more of the heads of 10 different lion prides getting together collaboratively for two or three hours a month, deciding how to solve each other's problems and how to help each other out, sharing what works in theirs, taking advice.

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Solving their weaknesses so they can go back to their own lands and rule just unequivocally.

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That's what we're talking about when we talk about tribe.

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Tribe is a rare find.

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Like, that's why I said most people really don't have it.

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I thought I had it a lot of times.

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Most people really don't have it.

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But guys, I'm telling you, it is absolutely worth the effort, gentlemen.

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Once you experience it, you'll never want to be without it again.

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It is a power multiplier to achieving your life goals.

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These people like are finding true.

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The tribe is truly one of the two great Chico's alive because there are two great Chico's alive and tribe is one of them.

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Now, I hope that clears it up for you.

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The difference between a men's group and, uh, You know, my, my group of gamers I hang out with at, right.

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I hope that clears it up for you.

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You may have some buddies that cross the lines into different groups, but.

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I only knew one of the people in my tribe or two before I started spending time with them.

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I met the rest of them inside the tribe because one person brought me into it because they saw you can add value and you're going to gain incredible value.

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Tribe is rare, but I hope you understand it's not just your buddies, not just a group of guys.

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Tribe is a power secret for your life.

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Now that you know what tribe really is and why you want it.

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I wish I could tell you exactly how to find it, but see, that's the complicated part because my goals and your goals are not necessarily aligned.

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Right.

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I'm not just in tribe with a group of entrepreneurs.

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I'm in tribe with a group of entrepreneurs whose businesses all revolve around helping people grow in areas of their life in a powerful way, right?

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It gets very specific.

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They helped me level up.

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I helped them level up.

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So I can't tell you exactly where to find it because you and I have different gifts and we have different goals in life.

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When you find your tribe, it will be a group of people who are in similar harmony.

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Uh, have you considered the concept of.

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Tandem or yoke.

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If you've ever seen pulling teams, one of them is incredibly powerful.

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I used to ride a pulling horse, uh, at my friend's ranch when I was in high school, her, her grandfather, or no, her uncle and her grandfather, both raised championship pulling horses.

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And one of the horses I used to ride was a retired pulling horse and that thing was massive.

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I mean, I was almost doing the splits.

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Like it was a huge horse and that horse was incredibly powerful by itself.

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Yeah.

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Put together with its team in tandem, yoked for the same goal was, if you've never seen it, something just unfathomable, a tribe is a bunch of people who are yoked together and they have separate goals, but they're pulling for the same bigger goal.

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We're all going to level up our businesses, our persons, and make our world's a better place than people around us, a better place by what we're doing.

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And we're committed to that together, right?

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That's my tribe.

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Your tribe is going to be unique to you.

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Your tribe is going to be unique to your goals and your aspirations as a person and your ambitions.

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But I promise you it is worth the effort to find it as fast as possible because it is a cheat code for taking your life for that next level.

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Guys, I hope that demystifies the concept of tribe.

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Told you it's not a clear definition.

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But I missed it for a long time.

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And I kept thinking I found it because I didn't really understand it until I experienced it.

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And I wanted to see if I could demystify that for you and help you know, what you're looking for.

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Guys, if you got something out of this episode, be sure and check out this other episode.

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It will be in the show notes are in the description are on the screen, depending on what platform you're joining us on today.

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Be better tomorrow because of what you do today and I'll see you on the next one.

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This has been the fallible man podcast, your home for everything man, husband and father.

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