This Parenting Mistake Is Destroying Kids’ Success

1 00:00:00,540 --> 00:00:03,240 Have you ever experienced the awesome power of a tornado? 2 00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:07,410 If you have, then you also know that it's not the experience that most people want. 3 00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:11,010 I remember when I was four or five standing on our sun deck with my father 4 00:00:11,010 --> 00:00:13,620 as a massive tornado cut through our town. 5 00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:18,690 I watched this awesome force peel the roof of a building directly 6 00:00:18,690 --> 00:00:21,540 across the street from us off like the top, like just like a banana. 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:22,500 It's crazy. 8 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:24,120 We're lucky that day. 9 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,160 The brun of it missed us entirely. 10 00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:28,470 Others weren't so lucky. 11 00:00:29,205 --> 00:00:33,495 As a wide-eyed child, it was easy to be grateful that day I was alive. 12 00:00:34,255 --> 00:00:37,455 I was young enough that I felt completely safe holding onto my 13 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:41,745 father's hand, even as the roof of the building directly across the street 14 00:00:41,895 --> 00:00:43,245 with, I mean, this is a parking lot. 15 00:00:43,245 --> 00:00:46,815 I learned to ride a bike in was just decimated in front of me. 16 00:00:47,865 --> 00:00:49,785 We had a basement that made our house safer. 17 00:00:49,815 --> 00:00:53,505 In fact, most of the neighborhood was in our basement at that time. 18 00:00:54,915 --> 00:00:57,105 How do we take that mindset? 19 00:00:57,660 --> 00:00:59,190 Into the rest of our lives as well. 20 00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:05,550 That feeling of being safe and grateful, of feeling grateful even in the 21 00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:09,179 storms of life when life sucks and the storms just beat at your foundations. 22 00:01:09,179 --> 00:01:13,500 How do we practice gratitude when it's hard to be thankful? 23 00:01:15,090 --> 00:01:15,979 Well, let's talk about it. 24 00:01:17,420 --> 00:01:19,259 Here's the million dollar question. 25 00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:22,950 How do men like us reach our full potential and grow into 26 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:26,580 the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsi? 27 00:01:26,955 --> 00:01:32,235 Working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves. 28 00:01:33,105 --> 00:01:34,785 That's the question in this podcast. 29 00:01:35,115 --> 00:01:36,405 We'll help you with those answers. 30 00:01:36,405 --> 00:01:39,645 My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 31 00:01:40,455 --> 00:01:41,895 Welcome to the Fable Man Podcast. 32 00:01:41,895 --> 00:01:44,715 You're home for all things, man, husband, and father, big shout out 33 00:01:44,715 --> 00:01:45,975 to the fallible nation on warm. 34 00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,414 Welcome to our first time listeners. 35 00:01:47,805 --> 00:01:48,585 My name is Brent. 36 00:01:48,855 --> 00:01:52,465 Today we're talking about gratitude since tomorrow is Thanksgiving to Seemed app. 37 00:01:53,475 --> 00:01:55,515 We've talked about gratitude many times in this show. 38 00:01:55,755 --> 00:01:59,475 We even touched on it during Manly Monday, our live show that happens every 39 00:01:59,475 --> 00:02:00,915 Monday night on Facebook and YouTube. 40 00:02:01,785 --> 00:02:05,745 There is research to prove that living with gratitude as a mindset 41 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,965 is better for you in many ways. 42 00:02:08,325 --> 00:02:09,795 It improves mental wellbeing. 43 00:02:10,215 --> 00:02:12,535 It increases your optimism, your happiness, your 44 00:02:12,855 --> 00:02:13,755 physical and mental health. 45 00:02:14,655 --> 00:02:17,415 You have deeper relationships and more self control. 46 00:02:17,865 --> 00:02:20,835 And let's face it, we could all probably use that at times. 47 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,315 And it's even been connected to the athleticism. 48 00:02:24,734 --> 00:02:25,755 Isn't that crazy? 49 00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,345 Athleticism, right. 50 00:02:29,445 --> 00:02:31,635 I wanted to share some thoughts with you in hopes that it may 51 00:02:31,635 --> 00:02:33,195 help you or someone you know. 52 00:02:33,795 --> 00:02:36,465 I'm a big believer in the fact that everyone has things that they're 53 00:02:36,465 --> 00:02:39,765 going through, maybe different than you, but no less valid. 54 00:02:40,425 --> 00:02:43,965 Everyone has a burden they carry and wrestle with, and the holidays can be 55 00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:48,345 really difficult for a multitude of people as we celebrate this season of g. 56 00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,090 Remember there are people who are struggling to fill that 57 00:02:51,090 --> 00:02:53,340 gratitude list with anything. 58 00:02:54,390 --> 00:02:55,290 In the last couple years. 59 00:02:55,290 --> 00:02:58,140 We've come through a lot and there are a lot of people who are still 60 00:02:58,140 --> 00:03:01,290 in recovery from those losses or experiencing them still in real time 61 00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:02,910 cuz the storm hasn't passed For them. 62 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,209 It's easy to be grateful in the good times, but how do we maintain 63 00:03:06,209 --> 00:03:08,399 that gratitude mindset in the storm? 64 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:14,280 Gentlemen, I wanna share with you six concepts for your 65 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,840 consideration that I think will. 66 00:03:17,295 --> 00:03:20,055 As you weather the storms alive, for you to keep that gratitude 67 00:03:20,055 --> 00:03:21,885 mindset that is so beneficial. 68 00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:25,665 Number one, write down the things you're grateful for. 69 00:03:26,535 --> 00:03:29,145 Now, I grew up in a conservative Christian Church as the preacher's kid. 70 00:03:29,325 --> 00:03:33,765 I know all the old hymns by heart and can sing most of them 71 00:03:33,825 --> 00:03:35,085 without even thinking about it. 72 00:03:35,085 --> 00:03:38,595 But one stands out to me called Count Your Blessings. 73 00:03:39,225 --> 00:03:41,985 And even as I record the show, I can hear it in my head. 74 00:03:42,675 --> 00:03:45,065 And to be honest, it never sunk in much as a. 75 00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:51,015 However, as adult, I've found this fairly practical vice and have know 76 00:03:51,015 --> 00:03:53,234 many people who practice this actively. 77 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:57,704 Even my friend Sean, who usually does the Thanksgiving show with me, Sean 78 00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:01,095 and his wife Diane, keep big sheets of butcher paper hanging in their house, 79 00:04:01,515 --> 00:04:06,225 and they walk by and write down things all the time as it happens in real time 80 00:04:06,225 --> 00:04:07,935 recording things they're grateful for. 81 00:04:08,775 --> 00:04:11,174 We've talked about gratitude journals before and the value of 82 00:04:11,174 --> 00:04:14,055 just writing down a couple things every day that you're grateful for. 83 00:04:15,165 --> 00:04:22,245 There is some powerful, powerful force to writing things down 84 00:04:22,245 --> 00:04:23,265 and putting them in our world. 85 00:04:23,895 --> 00:04:28,725 It trains your mind to seek and observe the things that are good things, that 86 00:04:28,725 --> 00:04:30,225 are blessings, that are happy things. 87 00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:34,335 It conditions your brain to focus on the positive moments in life. 88 00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:36,585 So data, mind your day. 89 00:04:37,425 --> 00:04:40,065 You don't have to go full journal if you're not a journaling person. 90 00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,991 If you've been in on the show many times, you know that's not my. 91 00:04:44,401 --> 00:04:45,901 But you don't have to go full journal. 92 00:04:46,861 --> 00:04:49,051 You can literally hang it on the walls like Sean and his wife. 93 00:04:49,051 --> 00:04:50,131 You don't have to go that fire. 94 00:04:50,761 --> 00:04:51,151 Okay. 95 00:04:51,451 --> 00:04:56,221 I actually used to have an app on my phone and I would record three things 96 00:04:56,281 --> 00:04:57,901 every day that I was grateful for. 97 00:04:58,681 --> 00:05:03,121 At first it was hard, then it was pretty simple, and then it was hard 98 00:05:03,121 --> 00:05:08,431 to narrow down to just three things because if you look for it, you learn to. 99 00:05:09,436 --> 00:05:13,606 Which makes it easier and it keeps it easier as you're going through hard times. 100 00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:17,656 Number two, gentlemen, make gratitude a habit. 101 00:05:18,556 --> 00:05:20,836 Now that kind of seems what I just said, right? 102 00:05:20,836 --> 00:05:21,826 But no, that's not. 103 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:25,636 If you say thank you more than you say, please, it's not a bad thing. 104 00:05:26,836 --> 00:05:30,316 Be quick to appreciate people for their contributions to your day. 105 00:05:31,096 --> 00:05:35,086 If you forgot to say thank you to someone for something seemingly small, make it 106 00:05:35,086 --> 00:05:37,186 a priority the next day to go and thank. 107 00:05:38,386 --> 00:05:41,176 Look for opportunities to say thank you. 108 00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:43,006 Go through your memories. 109 00:05:43,006 --> 00:05:45,736 Go back to thank people for what they did years ago. 110 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:46,366 They're gonna look at you. 111 00:05:46,371 --> 00:05:48,286 Really weird, but it's cool. 112 00:05:48,586 --> 00:05:51,676 Go back and thank people that you haven't seen in years, like randomly call 'em. 113 00:05:51,676 --> 00:05:54,916 Hey, I know you don't remember this, but thank you. 114 00:05:56,176 --> 00:05:58,696 I was at a convenience store my junior year of high school, just 115 00:05:58,696 --> 00:05:59,836 getting a out and do a refill. 116 00:05:59,836 --> 00:06:04,426 My massive 64 ounce mug, which was so bad for me looking back, but, oh. 117 00:06:05,416 --> 00:06:08,746 And grabbing a grab bag of nacho cheese Doritos, cuz this was my custom, 118 00:06:08,746 --> 00:06:11,776 it's what I ate for lunch in high school, pretty much for two years. 119 00:06:13,036 --> 00:06:19,366 While I was there, the ambulance crew came in to get whatever they were 120 00:06:19,366 --> 00:06:20,716 getting right, snacks or whatever. 121 00:06:20,956 --> 00:06:23,986 But immediately my heart surged with gratitude. 122 00:06:23,991 --> 00:06:25,066 I went over and thanked them. 123 00:06:25,366 --> 00:06:28,486 I'm pretty sure I actually hugged them without any context, which would explain 124 00:06:28,486 --> 00:06:30,016 the whole freaked outlook on their faces. 125 00:06:30,916 --> 00:06:32,896 They had no idea who I was. 126 00:06:33,556 --> 00:06:34,456 They didn't recognize. 127 00:06:35,086 --> 00:06:37,516 I hadn't seen them in two and a half years. 128 00:06:38,626 --> 00:06:41,866 I remember the people who pulled me out of the car as I was fading 129 00:06:41,866 --> 00:06:43,156 in and out of consciousness. 130 00:06:44,296 --> 00:06:44,896 I was blessed. 131 00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:48,616 It wasn't a particularly bad wreck comparatively to what it could have been, 132 00:06:49,216 --> 00:06:53,866 but to a 15 year old that couldn't feel his legs in the moment or was struggling 133 00:06:53,866 --> 00:06:56,506 to stay conscious, it was terrifying. 134 00:06:57,766 --> 00:07:01,426 And I absolutely remember this incredible ambulance crew. 135 00:07:02,206 --> 00:07:05,626 As the people who pulled me out of that wreck, that was just terrifying to me. 136 00:07:05,986 --> 00:07:09,586 I was grateful not only for what they did, but for the chance to say thank you. 137 00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:14,116 Go out of your way to say thank you to anyone and everyone who's 138 00:07:14,121 --> 00:07:15,706 been kind or helpful to you. 139 00:07:16,216 --> 00:07:18,916 To everyone who treats you like a human with dignity and 140 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:21,466 respect, go say thank you. 141 00:07:21,976 --> 00:07:25,736 The more you practice gratitude, the easier it'll become for it to be at the 142 00:07:25,741 --> 00:07:28,186 forefront of your mind all of the time. 143 00:07:28,891 --> 00:07:33,181 And the more present you'll find it in your life and readily available for you. 144 00:07:34,861 --> 00:07:40,381 Number three, seek the lesson In every moment. 145 00:07:40,621 --> 00:07:42,121 There are possibilities. 146 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:43,711 There are multiple possibilities. 147 00:07:43,711 --> 00:07:48,301 In fact, when I talk to somebody about my coach coaching services, they could say, 148 00:07:48,481 --> 00:07:50,461 yeah, I'd love to love what work with you. 149 00:07:51,421 --> 00:07:53,191 They could also laugh in my face. 150 00:07:53,851 --> 00:07:56,911 They could ignore me totally and walk away, or they could take a fence 151 00:07:56,911 --> 00:08:01,261 that I would be offering to work with them because they're offended. 152 00:08:01,321 --> 00:08:05,401 I think they need help or that I thought they could use a hand. 153 00:08:06,571 --> 00:08:09,631 You could listen to the show and think it's a great episode and 154 00:08:09,631 --> 00:08:11,221 beneficial and will help you. 155 00:08:11,281 --> 00:08:13,951 Or you could decide that I'm a horrible source of any kind of 156 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,111 information and never listen again. 157 00:08:17,341 --> 00:08:19,561 These are things I don't control. 158 00:08:20,851 --> 00:08:24,661 How a person responds to a situation, an offer, an opportunity, or an idea 159 00:08:24,661 --> 00:08:27,151 is their power and their choice. 160 00:08:27,571 --> 00:08:29,191 You control that in your life. 161 00:08:29,461 --> 00:08:32,671 You are absolutely in control of how you respond to things. 162 00:08:33,541 --> 00:08:38,581 What I take away from their response that's in my control. 163 00:08:39,631 --> 00:08:44,191 Now, I can analyze the moment and take away a lesson every single time. 164 00:08:45,271 --> 00:08:45,811 Let me say that. 165 00:08:47,146 --> 00:08:52,096 There is always a lesson to take away from any given situation if 166 00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,476 you are willing to look for it. 167 00:08:55,876 --> 00:08:58,726 That person might not be ready to seek a coach. 168 00:08:59,266 --> 00:09:02,656 They might not have thought about seeking a coach before. 169 00:09:03,226 --> 00:09:05,626 It may have surprised them, and people usually react pretty 170 00:09:05,626 --> 00:09:06,886 badly when you surprise them. 171 00:09:07,696 --> 00:09:08,686 I'm not any better. 172 00:09:09,586 --> 00:09:13,126 I had a colleague surprise me with a suggestion the other 173 00:09:13,126 --> 00:09:14,986 day, and guys, it surprised me. 174 00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:15,646 What did I do? 175 00:09:15,646 --> 00:09:16,696 I retreated back. 176 00:09:16,696 --> 00:09:17,896 I kind of brushed him off. 177 00:09:18,226 --> 00:09:22,516 I actually had to send an email and apologize because I felt bad about it 178 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,246 because it was just a knee jerk reaction. 179 00:09:25,246 --> 00:09:30,316 I reacted badly to the surprise when I'm talking to someone. 180 00:09:30,316 --> 00:09:31,396 I could have presented it wrong. 181 00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:34,006 I might not be the right person to work with them. 182 00:09:34,456 --> 00:09:35,626 They might have never. 183 00:09:36,511 --> 00:09:39,091 Even conscious of the idea of having a coach. 184 00:09:39,571 --> 00:09:43,231 They might be concerned about the cost or the terms that come with 185 00:09:43,921 --> 00:09:47,611 the coaching package are just the whole concept could freak them out. 186 00:09:48,391 --> 00:09:52,711 I don't know that, but I can always examine the event. 187 00:09:53,491 --> 00:09:56,011 I can look what I could have done better because guess what? 188 00:09:56,341 --> 00:09:59,791 There is always something I could have done better. 189 00:10:01,141 --> 00:10:02,101 It might not have changed the. 190 00:10:03,571 --> 00:10:05,491 I always have room to improve and grow. 191 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,781 I know this for a fact. 192 00:10:07,951 --> 00:10:09,661 Doing this refines me. 193 00:10:10,351 --> 00:10:12,601 It doesn't condemn them or attack their choice. 194 00:10:13,531 --> 00:10:17,611 Instead, it helps me appreciate what I learned in the opportunity. 195 00:10:18,511 --> 00:10:21,421 So look for that opportunity. 196 00:10:21,661 --> 00:10:22,831 Seek that lesson. 197 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,081 In any situation, good, bad, uglier. 198 00:10:25,081 --> 00:10:28,261 Indifferent, guys, there was always a lesson to be had. 199 00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:30,541 If you're willing to dig and do the. 200 00:10:31,996 --> 00:10:35,386 We're gonna roll through our sponsor guys, and we will be right back with 201 00:10:35,566 --> 00:10:41,056 three more lessons that you can consider as you're looking at practicing gratitude 202 00:10:41,056 --> 00:10:43,216 and being thankful in the storm. 203 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,446 How well do you sleep at night? 204 00:10:44,536 --> 00:10:47,116 Do you toss and turn and wake up more tired than when you went to bed? 205 00:10:47,626 --> 00:10:50,296 Sleep is commonly one of the critical elements people 206 00:10:50,296 --> 00:10:51,616 fall short on in their life. 207 00:10:51,916 --> 00:10:54,796 The quality of sleep you get directly affects your ability to control 208 00:10:54,796 --> 00:10:58,006 your weight, your ability to add muscle, your stress levels, and 209 00:10:58,006 --> 00:10:59,566 your everyday job and life perform. 210 00:11:00,496 --> 00:11:04,396 If you're ready to move to the next level, then sleep has to be part of the plan. 211 00:11:05,056 --> 00:11:08,236 Check out our friends friends@ghostbed.com if you're ready to get your best sleep. 212 00:11:08,326 --> 00:11:09,226 I love my ghost bed. 213 00:11:09,226 --> 00:11:12,246 I've been sleeping on one for a couple years and it's made a 214 00:11:12,251 --> 00:11:13,516 huge difference in how I sleep. 215 00:11:13,846 --> 00:11:15,046 Hit ghost bed.com. 216 00:11:15,051 --> 00:11:18,796 Use the code, the Fallible man 30 to get 30% off your order and 217 00:11:18,796 --> 00:11:19,696 start getting better night's. 218 00:11:19,701 --> 00:11:20,866 Sleep tomorrow. 219 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,851 Now let's go on to the show. 220 00:11:23,941 --> 00:11:27,391 All right, guys, when we're back, we're here today talking about how to 221 00:11:27,841 --> 00:11:32,671 maintain that gratitude mindset and how to be grateful even difficult times. 222 00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:35,281 We already went through three, and if you miss those, you're coming in 223 00:11:35,281 --> 00:11:36,301 part of the way through the show. 224 00:11:36,661 --> 00:11:38,401 Go back, check those out. 225 00:11:38,761 --> 00:11:39,451 It's important. 226 00:11:40,201 --> 00:11:43,111 Make sure you get through those three as well. 227 00:11:43,681 --> 00:11:49,111 Number four, for your consideration, change the language, change the dialogue. 228 00:11:49,936 --> 00:11:51,466 Let's talk about this at two levels. 229 00:11:52,216 --> 00:11:55,156 How you talk to yourself and the words you use out loud have a 230 00:11:55,156 --> 00:11:57,376 significant impact on your attitude. 231 00:11:58,186 --> 00:12:01,876 So first, choose your words carefully because you are, 232 00:12:01,936 --> 00:12:03,046 you're gonna speak the truth. 233 00:12:04,036 --> 00:12:05,986 I'm not talking about manifesting things. 234 00:12:06,316 --> 00:12:07,456 I've seen that all over YouTube. 235 00:12:07,456 --> 00:12:08,506 That's become a really big thing. 236 00:12:08,506 --> 00:12:10,516 I don't know why, but Sure. 237 00:12:10,926 --> 00:12:11,046 Whatever. 238 00:12:11,051 --> 00:12:11,686 Not my thing. 239 00:12:12,046 --> 00:12:12,796 No judgements. 240 00:12:12,796 --> 00:12:16,066 I just, I don't put much sock in it, but that's not what we're talking. 241 00:12:17,146 --> 00:12:20,356 What you believe will come out of your heart and through your mouth. 242 00:12:21,316 --> 00:12:25,696 So pick your words carefully and choose how you frame things in 243 00:12:25,976 --> 00:12:30,796 the language you use in a positive way, even at a negative time. 244 00:12:32,206 --> 00:12:35,209 If you start saying out loud, you're going to start to believe it. 245 00:12:35,269 --> 00:12:36,199 It's just the way it works. 246 00:12:36,439 --> 00:12:40,579 If it's coming out of your mouth, you're going to start believing yourself. 247 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,929 So you may have some concerns or stresses. 248 00:12:45,469 --> 00:12:48,079 It may be a really difficult time, and that can be coming 249 00:12:48,079 --> 00:12:49,699 out in the words you're using. 250 00:12:49,759 --> 00:12:52,729 So think carefully about the words. 251 00:12:52,729 --> 00:12:54,649 You're uttering out loud and reframe it. 252 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:58,099 Just like if you're trying to sell something or if you're talking to 253 00:12:58,099 --> 00:13:02,509 someone else, reframe the words you're using and use a positive spin 254 00:13:02,514 --> 00:13:04,249 on it as opposed to a negative spin. 255 00:13:05,269 --> 00:13:07,099 Second is your internal dialogue. 256 00:13:07,819 --> 00:13:10,989 Your internal dialogue is so indicative of your heart and your attitude. 257 00:13:10,994 --> 00:13:11,059 It's. 258 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:15,844 How you talk to yourself in your own internal dialogues says a lot about 259 00:13:15,844 --> 00:13:17,104 your mental and emotional state. 260 00:13:17,434 --> 00:13:19,414 So don't beat yourself up. 261 00:13:20,464 --> 00:13:21,634 You don't deserve that. 262 00:13:21,664 --> 00:13:23,344 You shouldn't treat yourself that way. 263 00:13:24,244 --> 00:13:27,364 Treat yourself how the person who loves you more than any other 264 00:13:27,369 --> 00:13:29,284 in the world would treat you. 265 00:13:30,754 --> 00:13:32,734 Now, what's this have to do with gratitude? 266 00:13:32,944 --> 00:13:34,864 Well, you have to change the language. 267 00:13:35,374 --> 00:13:37,054 It's hard to be grateful. 268 00:13:38,014 --> 00:13:40,714 It's hard to maintain that gratitude mindset. 269 00:13:41,764 --> 00:13:45,184 When negative language is coming out of your mouth, when negative 270 00:13:45,184 --> 00:13:48,934 thoughts are running through your head, you all know what it's like to 271 00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:50,764 have that negativity in your skull. 272 00:13:51,334 --> 00:13:55,054 As it comes outta your mouth, your brain starts to believe it. 273 00:13:56,914 --> 00:14:01,804 So if you wanna maintain gratitude and a gratitude mindset, even in 274 00:14:01,804 --> 00:14:05,044 the difficult times, you have to be careful about the wording you 275 00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,354 are using and change that dialogue. 276 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,144 Otherwise, you're setting yourself up to fail. 277 00:14:11,344 --> 00:14:13,984 Number five, gentlemen serve others. 278 00:14:14,944 --> 00:14:16,594 What does this have to do with graduate? 279 00:14:17,044 --> 00:14:20,744 Wait, graduate ? What does this have to do with gratitude and hard times? 280 00:14:20,744 --> 00:14:27,347 If you focus on other people, it is easier to see the positive side of life turn 281 00:14:27,407 --> 00:14:29,737 outward instead of retreating inward. 282 00:14:30,797 --> 00:14:34,337 It's hard to be negative when you put other people's needs above your. 283 00:14:35,762 --> 00:14:39,422 I recently ran audio for a memorial service for a lovely woman that passed. 284 00:14:39,422 --> 00:14:40,112 An older woman. 285 00:14:41,102 --> 00:14:44,072 It was everything you hope your memorial service will be. 286 00:14:44,462 --> 00:14:49,712 Gentlemen, tons of family came and they loved on each other. 287 00:14:49,982 --> 00:14:52,772 Tons of friends came and they loved on the family. 288 00:14:53,162 --> 00:14:54,212 It was beautiful. 289 00:14:54,212 --> 00:14:55,472 They shared memories. 290 00:14:55,472 --> 00:14:56,942 They laughed, they cried. 291 00:14:56,972 --> 00:14:59,492 It was a truly great memorial service. 292 00:15:01,322 --> 00:15:04,232 Like I said, it's what you hope your memorial service will be like. 293 00:15:04,232 --> 00:15:05,612 Honestly, I've been through a lot of them. 294 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:12,692 What I didn't know until later that day is the woman who had come to play the 295 00:15:12,692 --> 00:15:18,302 piano for the services had just lost her mom a few days before this service. 296 00:15:19,562 --> 00:15:23,072 Now, anyone would've understood a short notice bow out in 297 00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:24,272 this circumstance, right? 298 00:15:24,962 --> 00:15:26,822 She just lost her mom. 299 00:15:28,952 --> 00:15:31,082 Going and playing someone else's memorial service. 300 00:15:31,832 --> 00:15:37,262 I can only imagine what an emotional trial that was with the pain and difficulty 301 00:15:37,262 --> 00:15:38,552 she was already struggling with. 302 00:15:39,512 --> 00:15:42,542 But she served this family because A, she said she would, 303 00:15:42,812 --> 00:15:44,192 and she's a woman of her word. 304 00:15:44,822 --> 00:15:48,122 I know her decently and we're not real close, but I know her pretty well, 305 00:15:48,122 --> 00:15:49,682 and I know she's a woman of her word. 306 00:15:50,762 --> 00:15:54,752 She also did it because serving them, she was tending to her own heart 307 00:15:54,812 --> 00:15:57,452 at the same time as she was hurt. 308 00:15:58,142 --> 00:16:04,502 Serving another group who is in need, who is also hurting that they could sympathize 309 00:16:04,502 --> 00:16:12,452 with, was a way to tend to their her own heart, because it's easier to be grateful 310 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:18,302 even in difficult time when you're focused on serving and helping other people. 311 00:16:18,872 --> 00:16:20,042 It's a great thing to do. 312 00:16:21,842 --> 00:16:22,652 Number six. 313 00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:26,642 Now this list absolutely wouldn't be complete if I left this. 314 00:16:27,947 --> 00:16:29,477 Don't check on out on me. 315 00:16:29,747 --> 00:16:35,537 You don't have to be a believer, but faith is crucial. 316 00:16:36,107 --> 00:16:38,057 Now, I'm a Christian and I try and live as one. 317 00:16:38,387 --> 00:16:40,157 You don't have to believe because I do. 318 00:16:40,187 --> 00:16:43,907 But I will say this is a highly effective way to maintain 319 00:16:43,912 --> 00:16:45,887 gratitude in difficult times. 320 00:16:47,477 --> 00:16:48,737 Like I said, don't check out on me. 321 00:16:48,737 --> 00:16:50,669 You don't have to go to church just because I said 322 00:16:50,669 --> 00:16:52,079 that faith is a good answer. 323 00:16:52,109 --> 00:16:54,299 You got five more in this list that are great. 324 00:16:55,799 --> 00:17:00,419 I promise you this has a compounding effect, guys from wrestling with 325 00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:03,569 suicide when I was younger to laying in a hospital watering if I would 326 00:17:03,569 --> 00:17:08,999 ever walk again from job loss and marital issues that we've gone through. 327 00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:13,439 Having faith in someone bigger than me has always kept me in a 328 00:17:13,439 --> 00:17:18,629 grateful and positive disposition and some really dark hours of my. 329 00:17:20,069 --> 00:17:23,729 Much like my father holding my hand on the sun deck as that tornado just 330 00:17:23,729 --> 00:17:28,289 shredded, a church building in front of me holding onto my faith has 331 00:17:28,294 --> 00:17:30,869 still me through a lot of things. 332 00:17:32,249 --> 00:17:35,634 There's a song by a Christian band the band's called Casting Crowns. 333 00:17:35,904 --> 00:17:38,244 The song's called, I Will Praise You In the Storm. 334 00:17:38,604 --> 00:17:39,834 It's Got these lyrics. 335 00:17:41,004 --> 00:17:44,544 I was sure by now that you would have reached down and wiped out 336 00:17:44,604 --> 00:17:46,644 our, and wiped our tears away. 337 00:17:47,094 --> 00:17:48,474 Stepped in and saved the day. 338 00:17:48,504 --> 00:17:52,554 But once again, I say amen and it's still raining. 339 00:17:54,054 --> 00:17:58,704 Believing in something more than yourself, believing in something 340 00:17:58,704 --> 00:18:02,934 bigger will help you a great deal in the gratitude department. 341 00:18:03,234 --> 00:18:05,754 And since we're talking about gratitude, I couldn't leave that out 342 00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:10,164 of this discussion because guys, it's an anchor point for me in my life. 343 00:18:10,194 --> 00:18:13,344 It may not be for you, but for me, it. 344 00:18:14,889 --> 00:18:19,059 It's not easy to have an attitude of gratitude, and I did not 345 00:18:19,059 --> 00:18:20,499 purposely try to rhyme that. 346 00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:21,369 It just kind of happened. 347 00:18:21,369 --> 00:18:22,149 Sorry about that. 348 00:18:23,199 --> 00:18:28,029 Maintaining that gratitude mindset even in hard times can seem almost impossible. 349 00:18:29,259 --> 00:18:34,299 I promise these six things will make an incredible difference in 350 00:18:34,299 --> 00:18:36,099 maintaining that gratitude mindset. 351 00:18:36,939 --> 00:18:39,789 Write down the things you're grateful for, serious. 352 00:18:40,389 --> 00:18:41,709 Take five minutes. 353 00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:44,709 At the end of your day, write down three things you're grateful for. 354 00:18:45,279 --> 00:18:51,039 I was incredibly impressed at the impact that had on me as I was 355 00:18:51,039 --> 00:18:52,719 trying that out several years ago. 356 00:18:54,069 --> 00:18:55,389 Make gratitude a habit. 357 00:18:55,779 --> 00:18:59,529 If you are just constantly in the habit of being grateful and expressing 358 00:18:59,559 --> 00:19:04,749 your gratitude to other people, it's amazing how it shifts your mindset. 359 00:19:05,949 --> 00:19:07,299 Seek out the lesson. 360 00:19:07,959 --> 00:19:11,769 In every situation because there always is one, it's always 361 00:19:11,769 --> 00:19:13,749 there and may be hard to find. 362 00:19:13,959 --> 00:19:16,629 It actually can become a really great game trying to find the lesson. 363 00:19:16,629 --> 00:19:18,549 But in everything, there is a lesson. 364 00:19:19,719 --> 00:19:21,699 Change the language and change the dialogue. 365 00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,779 Change the way you talk to yourself. 366 00:19:26,079 --> 00:19:30,399 Change the words you use out loud because you're programming your brain to 367 00:19:30,399 --> 00:19:34,869 believe the things that are coming out of your mouth when you find that lesson. 368 00:19:35,844 --> 00:19:37,524 Above in the first, in the third point. 369 00:19:38,274 --> 00:19:40,674 You can be grateful for that lesson because it can improve 370 00:19:40,674 --> 00:19:44,934 your life, serve others. 371 00:19:44,994 --> 00:19:51,684 It is so much easier to have a heart and head filled with gratitude and live 372 00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:56,814 in a state of a gratitude mindset when you're focused on helping other people. 373 00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:02,184 And if you believe in something, your faith can help you in Tremendous. 374 00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:06,744 Guys, it is the gratitude season and like I said, there are a lot of people 375 00:20:06,744 --> 00:20:08,424 who are gonna be struggling this season. 376 00:20:09,144 --> 00:20:11,934 Maybe this helped you, maybe it didn't. 377 00:20:11,994 --> 00:20:15,024 Maybe you know somebody that this discussion will help. 378 00:20:15,474 --> 00:20:21,114 Please share this with them guys, if you are struggling and need a little help 379 00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:24,014 right now, I'm taking clients right now. 380 00:20:24,464 --> 00:20:27,294 Go to my website, www dot fallible man dot. 381 00:20:28,014 --> 00:20:29,484 And set up a coaching call. 382 00:20:29,754 --> 00:20:33,354 If you wanna work with me, let me help you as you navigate some issues in 383 00:20:33,354 --> 00:20:36,744 your life cuz we all need help at times and there's nothing wrong with that. 384 00:20:38,424 --> 00:20:42,114 Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I hope and pray you can be wherever 385 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:43,344 you wanna be this Thanksgiving. 386 00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:47,274 And if you can't know your family here at Fall, the nation loves 387 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:49,314 you and we appreciate who you are. 388 00:20:50,394 --> 00:20:51,714 Have happy Thanksgiving. 389 00:20:51,714 --> 00:20:51,924 Be. 390 00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:55,479 Be better tomorrow because of what you do today, and we'll see you on the next one. 391 00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:58,359 This has been the Fable Man Podcast. 392 00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:02,319 Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. 393 00:21:03,099 --> 00:21:05,379 Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. 394 00:21:06,249 --> 00:21:12,579 Head over to www.thefableman.com for more content and get 395 00:21:12,579 --> 00:21:14,109 your own fallible man gear.