The Six Core Principles of Effective Parenting

[00:00:00] How many friends do your children have? As a parent, do you know all of your children's friends? Who are they talking to? Who has influence in their life? A while back, I had Andy, the secure dad on the show, and he helped us contemplate what kind of security you have around your family as a parent from physical, physical security to, uh, like your phones and stuff like that.

But on this episode, we're going to go a little different direction. You see, parenting can often feel like an uncharted path. Leaving us to make pivotal decisions without clear guidance. Today, we're gonna reshape the way you approach parenting, ensuring healthier, safer relationship with your children so that you can be the parent you wanna be.

So let's get into it.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potentials? Growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, [00:01:00] and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's the big question in this podcast. We'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast.

What kind of relationship do you currently share with your children? Have you ever thought about your parenting goals and what that relationship should look like long term? By the way, my name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. Your go to source for all things related to being a man. A special shout out to Foulborn Nation.

That's our private community and you're welcome to join that. There's instructions down below for you to look into that, whether you're on the show notes or the YouTube version. And guys, a warm welcome to our first time listeners. Hey, if you're checking us out for the first time, thanks for giving us a chance.

We know that you have a lot of options out there. We hope you enjoy the show. We'd love to hear your feedback on it. I want to take a little time today to present to you an idea. What I believe may be the most important [00:02:00] relationship you can have with your child. Now I'll say it once and then I'm going to state my case for this and you tell me what you think.

I'd love to get your feedback on this idea. Now, here it is. Okay. This is a revolutionary idea. Be their parent. Nothing more. Shocker. I know, right? This may sound like a big no brainer to some of you and hopefully to a lot of you who listen to my show. This is a really big, no brainer, but some of you may be confused as to what I'm saying, because you think you are their parent already because they're your child, right?

That makes sense, right? Well, maybe you are, maybe you're not. However, there's a lot of ideas on how parent, how to parent. They come up with every generation. In fact, it seems every generation thinks that their parents didn't know anything about parenting and did it all wrong. It's really funny. Once you get to a certain [00:03:00] age, cause you really start looking, you experienced a couple of generations of, uh, passing.

But you can also go historically and look at the parenting trends change and somewhat of a circular process. Like it's a circular pattern throughout the years. And they come back around things that were very similar to prior generations, but it seems like every generation thinks they have a better idea of how to be a parent.

It's really funny because a lot of us who had really great parents even come out thinking. We know how to do it better than our parents did, even though we had good parents. Now, some of you are saying I had a really horrible parents and that's true. You may have a lot better idea if you had really horrible parents, but there are some of you who are questioning the parenting your parents did.

And really, there wasn't that much wrong with it. Your life was probably a lot better than you realize. You just lack the comparison or the contrast to what a really bad parenting look like. Either way, I want to present some ideas to you because [00:04:00] this concept of being a kid's friend keeps surfacing every couple of years.

And it's time we just flush that down the toilet. I want to share with you the six core principles of effective parenting. I promise if you try these six things as the base of your parenting paradigm, you will have really great results with your children. Principle one, children have enough friends. Yes, I'm saying it again.

That's a hint. I want you to really understand this. Your first role as a parent is to be THE PARENT. Children will have friends. Whether it's one friend or twenty, they have enough friends. And they can have friends throughout their whole life. Being your child's friend is a more modern thought on parenting, and it's a horrible idea.

It's a really horrible idea. Do your job as a parent and children will live long enough to have an adult friendship with you that will be far [00:05:00] more rewarding for doing parenting right than being their friend in the moment. They have friends, just be their parent. Principle, knowledge and insight is not intrusive.

Now I've actually heard parents say, I don't want to invade my child's privacy. This may actually be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard in my life. Your child has no right to privacy. Your child has no idea what threats and monsters exist in this world. Your job as a parent is to teach them that and to keep them safe until they are old enough to understand that and make their own choices.

You should know every single one of your friend, child's friends, everyone they interact with their teachers, their support staff, their friends, the people they interact with at clubs and sports and stuff like that. You should at least have a conceptual knowledge like. Interacted with them at some point of [00:06:00] everyone your child interacts with and spent more importantly the people they spend time with.

What do they do? Where do they go? What do they do with and those people and when are they coming home? It may save their life one day. Now, some of you parents are going to think that I'm a little extreme on that.

I hope you don't find out the hard way. It may truly save their life one day. Principle three, children actually desire structural structure and healthy boundaries. Routines, schedules, rules, healthy boundaries provide structure in an otherwise chaotic world. We forget as adults that there are a lot of things.

I mean, many, many things we understand now that we didn't know or understand as children. Things that we could not process, conceptualize, fathom, or explain at a younger age that we have just learned with life experience and exposure over [00:07:00] time. There is a great deal of knowledge that we passively learn in our formula of years.

The world is scary until you learn these things that you will learn with time. In the meantime, routines, schedules, rules, and boundaries make it secure for a child to grow and learn those things in a healthy way. Principle four, lead by example. Kids are the ultimate BS detectors. You can lie all you want.

It just ruins your credibility as a parent in the eyes of your child. Even worse, when you say one thing and do another, kids see all of it and they're not fooled. You can try and pretend otherwise. But you are the only one that's being fooled. You're fooling yourself. That's it. The kids see it and the people around you see it.

To have a [00:08:00] relationship with your kids that works, lead by example, not by what you say, by example. Kids will do what you do. They will not do what you say. So show them how to live by living life. You will be overjoyed to see them mimic because that's exactly what they're going to do. Principle five.

Discipline is love. I can hear the grumblings out there already, but this is a fact. There are a lot of parents who are scared to discipline their children in any degree, be it fear of overdoing it and losing their own temper or reacting when they're angry, or fear of external judgment. or trying to be a friend to their children.

The truth is discipline is an act of love. A parent doesn't discipline a child to hurt them or to break their spirit, but does so to reinforce instruction. Discipline runs hand in hand with structure, runs hand in hand with boundaries, [00:09:00] and runs hand in hand with the rules to Help kids learn to make better choices and decisions in life.

I am not talking about abuse. There's a huge difference between abuse and discipline. You discipline people you love, you discipline people you care about. If you don't, you just let them stick that fork in the light socket. Also, the boundaries and rules you set are useless without discipline and enforcement of consequences.

So they kind of work hand in hand. Principle six, guys, and then we'll land this plane. Give them their future. Many parents aim to provide their children with a brighter future. That's good, right? We want our kids to do better than we did. Now for hindsight, for a lot of people, you know what? A lot of our parents didn't do so bad.

So it's really funny that we're so hell bent on giving them Better than we had because a lot of us did. Okay. Some people have struggles. All of us have some kind of struggles, but a lot of people did better than they think they [00:10:00] did, but I get it. You want your kids to succeed bigger than you to live bigger than you to.

Excel past where you got, that's a natural, natural inclination as a parent. However, however, it's not your life. So you have to be really careful because a lot of well meaning parents will try to provide a brighter future by directing their children. To fulfill their, like the parents unfulfilled dreams and fantasies, the things that the parents felt fell short on, or feel like they fell short on.

We'll push our kids in that direction thinking that's what they should do. Cause that's what we wish we had done. However, it's more important to equip your children with knowledge and opportunities that allow them to build a better future and brighter future. While explaining why they're [00:11:00] worthwhile, why you should actually follow them, why they make sense and then letting them follow what they want because your children aren't you, no matter how much you cry for some of us, they're more like us than we wish in certain areas and not near as much as others, but your children, aren't you, they're going to have pick a different future.

So instead of getting them to live out your dreams, give them the knowledge and opportunities to follow their dreams and help them make those choices. That will help them, uh, help them actually hit those dreams. I know I didn't say that eloquent, but I never pretended I was an eloquent guy. As parents, we hold the power to shape the future of our children.

It's time to embrace a more proactive approach to parenting, the father's deeper connections, safer environments, and brighter futures for our kids. Apply these six fundamental principles to the base of your parenting journey. There's a whole lot of stuff in between there, guys, and a whole lot [00:12:00] of ways to deliver on all those six principles.

But put them at the base of your parenting journey. Be the guiding hand that your child needs. Together, let's ensure that your children, our children, have a future tailored to their aspirations and potential. The transformation begins today, and I urge you to implement these principles in your life, strengthen your family bonds, and step up and be the parent your child needs and create a broader future together.

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