Stacking Your Way to Success How Simple Habits Fuel Big Dreams

One Small Habit, Massive Life Transformation: The Habit Stacking Blueprint

D Brent Dowlen: [00:00:00] Walking, built my business and changed my life, and something simple will change your life too. In 2015, I had this realization that my desk job was actually just killing my health. I was putting on way too much weight because I was sitting for 10 hours a day behind a computer screen, and had been for several years.

I was inactive and it, it wasn't healthy. So like a genius. I, I signed up for a Tough Mudder. I had never done a Tough Mudder, but I saw a picture on my friend's desktop that looked kind of cool and I asked him about it and he's like, oh, that's a Tough Mudder. So I looked it up on YouTube. I'm like, dude, that looks awesome.

Right? I wanted to know. How bad my health had actually gotten. It was kind of a measuring stick for me because my brain went, dude, you should be able to do that. No problem. Like, you got this. I didn't think I was that outta shape. And the truth be told, it wasn't. I didn't think I was that far outta shape.

I just didn't wanna be [00:01:00] honest with myself and admit that I knew I was that far out of shape. Now, if you're listening to this, I encourage you to go check out my YouTube channel to watch this part of the video. Just because what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna overlay a finisher pitcher from that race right here on this part of the podcast.

Uh, I absolutely look like warmed over death, guys. I barely survived. I all but broke my foot and had to lent the last two miles with a bone that was rolled, which I didn't even know was possible. I got knocked unconscious by a hot wire on the last, uh, obstacle and hit the ground, and now have scars on my ankles from the shale rock that my leg scraped across as I collapsed on the ground at full speed, uh, totally unconscious.

I had no prep time. I [00:02:00] had never done 10 miles. What I thought was gonna be a test of. What I told myself would be a test of how far outta shape was. I was was a hard wake up call for. I had gotten in way over my head because not only was I outta shape incredibly at that point, I also took on a race that was way beyond what I, anything I was ready for at the time.

But it made me realize I needed to start walking and moving more because the desk job was just killing me. Every journey becomes with this simple change that becomes habit. It's called habit stacking. Now, I took that race as a sign that I should do something healthy and start moving. And so I started walking every day at work.

I would eat lunch at my desk 'cause I could, uh, you know, one of the great perks of the job I was in was I could eat desks, my lunch [00:03:00] whenever I really wanted to at my desk because it worked at a computer desk. They didn't really care. I took my 30 minute lunch and I went outside and I walked around my big ass building.

I worked in a very large facility. It had a driveway all around the outside of the building, which made a great track for me to go walk, and so I just started walking every day. I put in some music. I started walking, and at first I didn't really care how far I got. I just focused on walking for 30 minutes, and as I.

Started doing this over a long time period. I started trying to walk faster and I tried, started, attracted on my watch and I started trying to track how far I was going and trying to bump that number up. So I was walking faster and like I'm power walking out there and trying to get, and I got to where I was walking two miles in 30 minutes of my lunch break.

You can be really sweaty during certain parts of the year. So I was trying to figure out how to up my game, right? And so. I started [00:04:00] listening to audio books while I was walking, right? So first I just started moving, then I started moving faster to make myself work a little harder. Then it was like, okay, I'm, I'm not gonna run because I have to go back into the office, right?

It can't be all stinky and sweaty. I jog a little bit here and there, but I was like, no, I can't really do that. It makes me too nasty. So I started walking faster, and once I hit a max walking speed of. Two miles and 30 minutes, right? That's only 15 minutes a mile if you guys are doing the math. I was like, Hmm, how can I get more out of this?

So I started listening to audiobooks. Well, soon I wanted to get even more out of it, so I actually bought a adjustable weight weight vest that goes from anywhere from 60 pounds all the way up to 80 pounds. Of course, me being the bonehead I am, I went straight to 80 pounds and started walking the two miles.

Well, I didn't make it two miles the first couple times. With an 80 pound weight vest on. Also good idea to bring a shirt with you to change 'cause you will sweat to death wearing that much [00:05:00] weight and walking that fast, right? So now I'm listening to audio books and I'm walking and I am wearing weight vest.

And it's like, you know what? I get more out of this. And so I started riding my bicycle to work 'cause I only lived about two and a half miles from where I used to work. I thought, you know what, I can get up. I can get more miles to do my two miles and lunch, and I get some miles in on the bike on the way to work and on the way back, and we had a shower at work so I could go and change after I got a shower.

When I bicycled there, do my day, walk two miles, go in and change and bike home, right? And I just kept stacking. Now, I didn't know this was a thing. When I started doing it, I just started doing it. But it's a thing called habit stacking, right? Because you stack habits, you build one habit, and then you build a habit that's complimentary.

As I continued that cycle, riding my bicycle to work, spending time walking with a weight vest, walking at lunch, I started [00:06:00] turning to what I could turn to naturally, right? 'cause I was already listening to a book. What else could I do? So my attention started turning to. Nutrition, right? What can I do about fixing what I'm eating now, guys?

I didn't know Haack was a thing. I didn't know how to name. I didn't know that it was actually like there was, it was a thing, right? But every journey begins with a simple change that became a habit. And then you stack more habits if you want to. Grow and progress. So my question for you is what story do you want to tell next year, this time, next year?

What story do you want to be able to tell? Well, I will tell you one habit that will absolutely help you with whatever story it is that you want to be telling next year, and that is getting a good night's sleep with our help with some help from our friends over at MyPillow. Right now my pillow is having two [00:07:00] sales in one.

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By the way, if you've never been here before, welcome to The Driven to Thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men. I'm your host, Brent Dallen. We help men go from living to thriving purpose-filled intentional lives. We've got some new offers launching very soon over on our website, purpose driven men.com and our coaching offerings, so you guys can go over there and check that out.

Now, interestingly, after I started my journey of habit [00:09:00] stacking, which it was years later before I actually found out that was a term, I eventually ended up reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. Maybe you've heard of that book. It's a, it's a international bestseller. They've sold millions of copies.

Um. And I absolutely love the book. After reading it, I was gonna hold it up on the screen for you, YouTube watchers and show you the cover, but apparently I gave away my copy. Again, I buy the book, so I have a copy here on my bookshelf, and then I give it to somebody. In fact, I actually give this book away as a gift, more often, less one of my favorite gifts to give people, because I think it's a great book and I highly recommend it to you guys.

But I can't show you right now because I gave away my copy. Again, I, I keep buying this and giving it away, but it was really funny to read the book because it's like, oh, so what I'm doing makes sense. There are other people who think this is a good idea. It was actually [00:10:00] really kind of a nice validation.

I didn't, um, think that I had just made it up, guys. I'm not that conceited. I didn't imagine that I was doing something entirely new, but it was really kind of cool to find out. There was an entire book. That agreed with my thinking on this that said, Hey, this is the right track. So if you're listening and you don't know what habit stacking is, or how it built a business, or how it can change your life, we're gonna break that down for you in this really quick podcast episode today, and it works like this.

Number one, what is habit stacking Well, habit stacking is simple. Okay. I already walked you through it, so I'll walk you through it real quick. Right? I started walking, I realized. Holy crap, I'm outta shape. I need to move more. I started walking. Okay, simple enough. I started walking faster. That's a new habit to move at a faster speed intentionally, and instead of just strolling around, well, then I started listening to an audiobook.

'cause I thought, Hey, instead of listening to music, [00:11:00] I can start listening to books, and that way I can read more books. That's a new habit that. Fit nicely on top of the existing habit, right? It complimented it. So I started walking faster while listening to a book, and then I started walking with a weight vest while I was listening to a book and trying to keep up that same speed, right?

These are habit stacking. I started with one habit. I broke it into my life. I ingrained it into my life. That's what it is. You start with one habit and you heavily ingrained it into your life, right? You actually build it into a habit where you don't have to think about it, where it just kind of happens where it's just a part of your everyday routine.

Then you add a complimentary habit that continues in a positive direction, rinse and repeat. As you stack these into, not thoughts, but actual habits where you just do them automatically. I would love to say it's complex and it's some I can sell you a [00:12:00] great thing on for 29 99 and it's, that's all bullshit.

Okay? It's not complex. The concept is not hard. It really is that simple. Start with one simple habit that makes life better in one of the four quadrants of your life. Turn it into an actual habit where you just do it without thinking. Then you add another small habit that easily compliments that one and so on and such forth.

That is habit stacking, plain and simple. It's a really complicated name or a big fancy name for something that is just a stupidly simple process, and people do it all the time. You do it with bad habits. Yeah, me too. Don't worry. You do it with bad habits all the time, whether you realize it or not. So now doing it with good habits.

Habit stacking number two, right? The one in one out paradox. So when you're trying to start a new habit or when you're starting habit stacking, there are four big roadblocks with [00:13:00] building new habits. The first one is, we consistently underestimate the requirements of a new habit. This is why so many people fail their New Year's resolutions, especially all the crazy people who'd be like, I'm gonna go get in shape.

I'm gonna start working out every day. A lot of times these are people who have never worked out in their lives or never been gym people. Atomic habits explained this really simply, right? People go, I'm going to go work out four times a week, but they don't actually account for what that requires. That means stopping what you're doing, possibly changing or getting ready, traveling to your local gym, wherever that is in your city.

Taking time to do the workout. Taking time to clean up after the workout, taking time to then drive back to wherever you are or reverse those. You might have driven back to where you were and then cleaned up and then get back on track. So if you plan to be at the gym for only 30 minutes, it still [00:14:00] takes you an hour and 15 minutes a lot of times.

At least an hour, right? We frequently underestimate the requirements of a new habit because we go, this is the habit, but we don't think of all the steps involved with that habit, and that's why most people stink at starting new positive habits. Two, we lust after the big shiny instead of the simple solutions.

Nobody wants to make simple habits. It's ironic because simple habits are the ones that actually make a huge difference in your life. Are in the most effective seeds of change. Simple habits. They're what actually move the needle, but we all go, oh, I want a big, because if it's not big shiny, we have big shiny syndrome over here.

If it's not big and shiny and fancy, we don't really want it. The third problem is your subconscious prefers homeostasis. It is so funny. Your brain works against you. Your brain doesn't like things to change. It doesn't like change at all. That's [00:15:00] why so many people are bad at change is because your brain doesn't like change.

It won't homeostasis. It has worked really hard to maintain you right here, and it doesn't want you to go this way, and it doesn't want you to go this way. You have to work really hard to go either direction, usually with drastic measures sometimes. Uh, that's kind of contradictory. Usually drastic sometimes, sorry.

Usually there is major steps involved to take you out of the homeostasis. Well, guess what? Your brain, sometimes your body is gonna fight you heavily if you try and step out of homeostasis. And the fourth thing that really screws people up on starting with new habits and habit stacking is the one in one out paradox.

We often have over busied our lives and we don't have room for new habits. Think back right to my gym rep, my gym example. It's [00:16:00] not just a 30 minute workout, it's the stopping what you're doing, changing clothes, making the trip to the gym, cleaning up after the gym, traveling again, getting back focused on track, right?

That 30 minute workout session is going to take you. An hour or a little bit more, maybe even longer, we don't realize. And so we have these busy lives and we often let new habits get pushed to the side because it takes more time than we thought it was going to. We thought we could wedge it in right here.

But the truth is to add a new habit, a lot of times you have to remove a distraction or a time filler to add that one positive habit. You gotta make room for it. If you listen to the last two weeks, uh, we, we we're trying to chime a new law. We're calling it Brent's Law. And Brent's law states that you will fill your empty time [00:17:00] with useless, meaningless things unless you intentionally put something positive in it.

That's the fact. We'll fill it with scrolling. You have no idea how much time you spend scrolling on your phone. At least most people don't. We'll spin it, fill it with a. Television time, right? Oh, there's a new show on. We will fill it with useless crap because society rewards us for feeling busy, which is totally ridiculous.

But the one in one out paradox is real. You have to remove something that is wasting your time, not moving the needle for you, not helping you, or just distracting you out of your life a lot of times to add a new habit. So. Habit stacking actually becomes very difficult for people because of one of those four reasons usually.

Now, I did tell you I habit stacking changes your life. So how does it change your life? Habit stacking creates momentum in your life. That [00:18:00] is the law of how it works. Momentum. Momentum is the key. Achieving something makes you want to achieve more things. When I decided I was going to walk faster. It wasn't a, oh, this is a major decision.

It was a, oh, well, I'm walking every day. I, I feel like I could do a little bit more. I feel like I could go a little faster. I feel like I could work a little harder than adding the audiobook. It was like, instead of listening to music and I love music, but adding the audiobook and choosing to try and learn something as opposed to just listening to something that wasn't a just.

Deep thought out. That was a, oh, I'm already doing this and this is feeling good and I'm already walking faster, and that's feeling even better. And you know, I bet I could use this time more efficiently. What can I do? I can't walk any faster. Hadn't thought of the weight vest yet. Can't walk any faster. I can listen to something from my brain.

My [00:19:00] brain is not being challenged even though my body is being challenged so I can challenge my brain. Right? Once you start achieving something. You think, oh, I can do a little bit more. It creates momentum in your life, and that is the power of habit stacking. It's wind stacking on a bigger scale. Now, if you've been on the show before, you might've heard us talking about wind stacking.

Wind stacking is just habit stacking on a smaller scale. Let me throw you an example, right. If you get up and you make your bed and you brush your teeth and you get a good shower 'cause you got up on time and you get some good food and some water in your system and you get your coffee or whatever you drink and you get dressed and you get outta the house with enough time to comfortably get to work without any kind of stress, you are gonna have a better day because you stacked a bunch of micro winds before you got to the harder stuff in your day.

They actually teach this two Navy seals. This is actual hard science, not trust the [00:20:00] science, science, but actual hard science. So this is supported scientifically, crazily enough, right? They teach this, the Navy Seals and those guys generally kick ass. So we know something's gotta be working right now. If you are a little, I don't know, Brent, uh, seems a little.

Little bit of a stretch. Think back to the last time you got behind schedule on your morning routine. Your alarm didn't go off, or you slept through it, or you accidentally snoozed it too long and you woke up and had that oh, crap moment, right? And you're scrambling to get out the door and you're like jumping, like bouncing in your clothes, trying to put shoes on and.

You don't got time to get food and you didn't get your coffee and you didn't get your shower. Now your breath smells funky and you got behind that super slow asshole who's got nowhere to go and you're losing your mind and you're gonna be late for work. And you get in and your boss is standing right there to see you walking late and you're wearing half [00:21:00] dirty clothes.

'cause you just grabbed whatever you could to throw on. How'd your day go? How'd that work out? Did you enjoy that day? That is anecdotal evidence, ladies and gentlemen of wind stacking, right? Those little micro winds. Start your day on a positive note. Well, habit stacking is wind stacking on a much bigger and more impactful scale.

You start with little habits that stack. They have a larger impact on more of your life than just the daily winds. Getting, moving more didn't just count for the day. It made me healthier. It increased blood flow. It actually helped me win on multiple levels for a longer period of time than just the jumped outta bed on time and got my shower, blah, blah, blah, right?

HaBO stacking is wind stacking on a much bigger scale. [00:22:00] You can increase daily wins and habit stacking will increase daily wins. But habit stacking wins actually build a much bigger impact. That has a much more, I can't say this another way. It has a huge impact on your lives, guys. Yeah. Bad English. Okay. I couldn't think of a better word.

So how do you apply it to your life? This is the important part. This is the part. Take notes. Okay. How do you apply this to your life? A pick one small habit that takes you towards a big positive goal. That goal can be in any of the four big pillars of your life. Now, if you're not familiar with that terminology, that's terminology.

I use my coaching program. You have four pillars that everything else falls into your life, and that's mission, health, mindset, and relationship focus. Okay? Those are your four focuses. Those are your four pillars, and everything else you do in your life falls into one [00:23:00] of those four categories. So you pick one small habit that takes you towards a bigger positive goal in one of those four areas of your life.

Pick one that you wanna improve. Find one small step that you can take every single day, right? It can be 10 minutes a day, it can be 30 minutes a day, however that habit fits in your life. But do it be until you do it automatically without thinking is as natural as breathing air, ladies and gentlemen, is second nature.

You don't argue about it in your head anymore. My journey was not a quick journey, okay? I. The story I was telling started in 2015 is 2025. We're 10 years into this still something I do still, something that impacts my day, still, something that impacts me on a large scale. Started with walking, still trying to do it.

So do it until you do it. Just like you're breathing, until there's nothing distracting you from it, you've just accepted [00:24:00] it is part of that homeostasis we were talking about, and it would be weird not to do it. Right. That's step two.

Now, add one more habit that you can do in concert or in complimentary that works towards one of those four pillars. Now here's the trick guys. Here's, here's the beautiful thing. It doesn't have to be towards the same pillar as that first habit. It just has to be complimentary or work in concert with that first habit.

For example, I started walking faster. That was step two, right? We increased from walking to moving more to walking faster. But the third habit for me was switching from listening to music, to listening to an audio book. I was not building that health portion. I guess you'd call it mental health if you want to.

I wasn't building that health portion. I was building that mindset and mission portion. Those I. [00:25:00] Listening to audiobooks, we're building those pillars, not the health pillar in my life, right? But it was complimentary. It worked in concept. I could do it while I was exercising this other thing. So once it becomes automatic, pick one more small habit.

I'm not asking for big stuff. One more small habit that you can do in concert that works towards one of those four pillars to improve your life. Step four, rinse and repeat, guys, you just keep doing it. That's how habit stacking works. Like I said, I'm not gonna pretend this is stupidly complicated, but it is stupidly powerful.

And the fifth part of how to apply this to your life is clarity. Obviously, in my example, walking, there's that point where it tops out, right? I couldn't walk any faster, so I started a new habit. And somewhere else that started a cycle all over again. I could not walk faster with an 80 pound [00:26:00] weight vest while listening to a book on my lunch break.

Right? It tapped out. I couldn't go running. Like I said, I worked in a white collar environment so I couldn't be all sweaty as it was. I had to change shirts frequently and I had to take an extra shirt to work with me because I sweated 'cause it gets really hot here and with an 80 pound vest, everything is really hot.

So I actually leveled that out to where I just could not push that farther. So what did I do? I did something complimentary and adjacent. I started a new habit that fit into the cycle, but worked in concert, right? I started focusing on my nutrition. So as I started to move more, I started tackling better nutritional choices for breakfast and lunch.

Experimented with fasting windows and things like that. It worked in concert. I leveled this out. I maxed this out. It could not go any farther with this piece. However, [00:27:00] this complimented it and moved towards a positive direction, right? So there's that clarity. You will actually max out. It's like, oh, I can't stack any more habits on this.

However, I can start a new complimentary stack that works in concert with this. See, habit stacking really isn't complicated. You just have to think three dimensionally with some of it. So how did habit stacking build a business? Because I, I told you right at the beginning of this walking habit, stacking that, that built my business.

What started with a walk for my health moved into as I started doing it. As I started ingratiate adding. Audiobooks. I started learning about finance. I found out that I did not know anything about finances, that my financial IQ as they use on the internet was really low and it was actually costing me money.

I, [00:28:00] I already found out. And so I started investing with audiobooks into my own financial education to get my financial situation under control. As I learned that this was like learning Greek for me, because I had never been taught about finances, I realized that I could teach myself that, that I could start to learn anything.

I could start to teach myself anything I wanted, if I could understand this totally foreign concept to me and teach myself that enough to actually change my financial situation. So fed by a desire to impact people and my experience in helping people, working with people in coaching people in various capacities.

I started writing a book that I had been actually asked to write by some friends several years before I then started studying self-publishing. 'cause I could teach myself that too. Which led to my podcast, I started studying the concept of entrepreneurship as I learned about podcasting, which is [00:29:00] a new concept to me.

Entrepreneurship was something I had never really heard of. It was something I heard of on YouTube every now and then, but I started studying entrepreneurship and what that actually meant and what business looked like because I wanted my podcast to grow for me too. Get my podcast to grow and reach more people and serve more people.

I had to understand some business concepts that I didn't understand to be able to grow my show, which eventually led me to starting a business focused on making content for men and helping men grow and change their lives for the better, and teaching men. They can actually change their situation and that they have so much more to offer in life.

They have so much more purpose and life flows better once you start to align with that purpose. This fell in with my passions. It fell in with my purpose. It fell in with my skillsets and my experiences and. Each habit made me grow and [00:30:00] change my direction some. As I experienced the benefits of those PA habits and started stacking more and more, it changed my expectations for myself, which then changed my goals for myself.

And with that growth, I went from a nine to five job to being an entrepreneur focused on serving the community at large, serving men and trying to make a little difference in the lives of men and showing men. They have so much more to offer society and equipping you to do so. That is my big goal. I want to help you live your best life because I think you're incredibly valuable and that the world needs you to become the person you were born to be.

Business was not the plan. Entrepreneurship was not the plan. Becoming a podcaster wasn't actually the plan, but it all started with that first habit. I. Getting up at movie more 10 years [00:31:00] later, well, five years later, I opened the Fallible Man LLC. 10 years later. I'm a podcaster. I'm a coach, I'm an entrepreneur.

I've had another business that I've opened. Didn't go well. Ended up closing the doors on that, and all of a sudden I'm a full blown entrepreneur working. Multiple businesses, and this was not the plan. It was the result of positive habit stacking and adapting my expectations and desires based as those habits stacked and my life changed, my expectations of myself grew, and the course of my life was altered forever because I started walking.

One simple, small habit changed the course of not only my life, but my family's lives, and has reached the lives of thousands upon thousands of men over the years. My [00:32:00] show has been downloaded under the original title over 250,000 times. We have reached people in 53 countries and are approaching half a million downloads.

We have reached virtually every state in the United States. I think we are reaching people. This was not the plan. It's the result of habit stacking. So the question is what little habit, right? I asked you at the beginning, what story do you wanna tell next year? Because one little habit, one simple change that becomes a habit.

Will absolutely change your story for next year. Guys, head over to purpose driven men.com. Submit any questions you'd like answered for our first ever. Ask me anything episode next week. While you [00:33:00] there. Be sure and sign up for our free biweekly newsletter with exclusive insights and content. Behind the scene information offers from our guest insider information.

My mailing list is the first people to know anything that we do. Be sure like share and subscribe. Share this with a friend and until next time, be better tomorrow because what you do today, we'll see you on the next one. The Driven to Thrive broadcast, purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving.

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