Resilience Reborn: How 21 Years Behind Bars Sparked a Mission for Change

Resilience Reborn: How 21 Years Behind Bars Sparked a Mission for Change

D Brent Dowlen: [00:00:00] In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison for milit by the military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security saade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still want it by the government. They survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire VA team.

Right. If you grew up in the watching eighties television, then you know exactly what that show was. And you probably love the A team because, let's face it, for eighties television, the A team was one of the best shows on television. I loved watching it with my dad and, and now years later, my children like watching the 2010 movie with Liam Neeson with me.

I don't think it's as good as the original TV series, but you know, I'm partial, uh, all that history with my dad and my kids are gonna have that same history with me, [00:01:00] uh, watching the show and loving it. But why do we love the A team? Well, it made for a compelling story. They're abandoned and betrayed by the military.

They love after serving their country, they're set up for a crime. They didn't commit and they go to jail, but we never dwell on the part of them going to prison as innocent men because that part's uncomfortable. In fact, the television show didn't cover it much at all. The 2010 movie kind of blew it out of proportion because prison isn't that nice, but they don't spend time on it because the idea of innocent men sitting in a loving hell while no one listens to their pleas.

That's not just uncomfortable. That's a horrible, horrible concept that makes most of our skin crawl. Well, what if it wasn't just a story? I'm not saying the A team, I'm talking about the idea of innocent men going to prison for crimes. They didn't commit [00:02:00] my guest today, and three other men were arrested for a double homicide in 1992 that they were not involved with.

They weren't set up by a rival gang, or there was no evil mastermind, like some bad movie setting up the innocence to take the fall. No. Instead, they were coerced and tortured by police detectives without legal representation or an advocate for at least one of 'em, maybe two of them, who were actually legally minors at the time.

They were tortured. I. Clear about that. Tortured and coerced into confessing to crimes they didn't commit, so the police could close a case even worse. Later, they found out the police withheld expec, exculpatory evidence from their lawyers from day one that prove they were innocent. They knew they were innocent [00:03:00] from the get go.

Life sentences without parole. Were handed down for two of the men and 30 years a piece were handed down for the other two. What resilience do you possess to withstand 21 years in a maximum security prison? Trying to prove your innocence, knowing the people who were supposed to champion justice set you up all while trying to just survive day-to-day life in.

What can only be described as a living nightmare at times, frequently, even maximum security prisons are not a nice place. They're not. We've talked to a former inmate before. Bad things happen all the time. And reading their story in the book they wrote, bad things happen a lot and for 21 years. This man rode the rollercoaster of hope and despair trying to survive while trying to [00:04:00] convince people that they didn't belong there.

Not only did Deon not lose himself and become a horrible man, because let me be honest, I think that would crush me, and I think it would crush most people. It happens to a lot of prisoners who have been convicted wrongfully, where they just kind of collapse and become the men that they're. Framed for being, not only did he not lose himself and crumble, now he's got a really clear purpose and he is trying to free innocent men because there are a lot of them still in an LY prison system and other places too.

But we'll get into more of that later. Gentlemen, it is my privilege today to introduce you to Deon Patrick, and welcome Deon to the Driven to Thrive broadcast. Let's get right into this. Deon, after an extraordinary education in the school of hard knocks, you now coach and consult and help [00:05:00] other men on their journey through life.

What is the single most important piece of advice or knowledge that you share with men these days?

Deon Patrick: I think the, the main thing is to never give up, especially when it's something that you truly aspire to. It's something that you know you should have in life. Like you just always have to be steadfast in what your beliefs are and continue to thrive to accomplish those goals.

D Brent Dowlen: All right, now gentlemen, sit with that for about 90 seconds while we check in with our sponsors. Then we're gonna go deep into resilience and purpose with Deon Patrick, today on The Driven to Thrive broadcast.

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Now back to our show. Welcome to the [00:07:00] Driven Thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men. I'm your host, Brent d, and we help men go from living to thriving, purpose-filled intentional lives. My guest today is author and coach Deon Patrick Deon, welcome to the show.

Deon Patrick: Thanks for having me.

D Brent Dowlen: Now, Deon, we're we're gonna ease into this.

I want to get to know who you are, so in your own words, today, in this moment. Who is Deon? Patrick, in your own words?

Deon Patrick: Deon. Patrick is a, a father. I'm a grandfather. I'm a brother. I'm a cousin. Uh, love a family man. I love my family to death. Like, uh, learned a lot more about myself in life because in my early years I wasn't that attached to my family.

I was kind of detached and I was hanging more with my friends, but. Back to my family where I should have been all the time. I think I'm just a person that just wants to [00:08:00] see more outta life for everybody. I wanna see everybody do well in life. I wanna see everybody succeed in life and just go on and do great things.

D Brent Dowlen: Now, Deon, you, you co-authored an extraordinary story, your Story in the book, the Hazel Boys, the trials of four Innocent Men. Tell us a little bit about the book itself.

Deon Patrick: Well, the book touches on me and three of my co-authors, which were also co-defendants in a case that totally changed our lives. One of us was 15 at the time.

It started out of the four authors. I was the oldest at 20. Uh, and it's just a very impactful book that talks about the trials that we went through to get our lives back and to get our freedom back as well. To just start moving our lives in the right direction.

D Brent Dowlen: Now, [00:09:00] at the end of the book, and no spoilers here, guys, you, you're gonna have to read it, but at the end of the book, you were coming out of 21 years of being in prison and, and what really tugged in my heartstrings was this moment you were entering into where you were. Having to build a new relationship with your kids after not being able to be a part of their lives.

How's that going for you? You said you uh,

Deon Patrick: I had two kids. I have a son and a daughter. They're both 30 plus, 32 and 33, and it's 11 years in, and I'm still rebuilding that relationship. Like we still have our struggles where we like. Bump heads on idealism and how things should really go. And, uh, but I still feel like at the end of the day, like I'm never gonna tell my kids anything wrong.

So I always feel like they should listen to me because I'm [00:10:00] not gonna guide them in the wrong direction at all. So, but it's, it's great. Like we love each other. I just think we tend to not agree on the direction that people's lives should be going in right now.

D Brent Dowlen: Okay. I, I think that's just the, the plight of any good father is like, I, I have a different opinion of what you should be doing and, and trying to find that line.

I, I know my dad had to hold back several times with me. He is like, I don't agree with, but you know what, I'm, I'm gonna let you go. You, you find that a little bit and I'm right here when you need me. Uh, and I, I think that's the best a father can hope for, right. Yeah. Uh, kids gonna know you love them and come back when they, when they are ready to talk on it.

Deon Patrick: Exactly. And I think we do that and it's like, I always know they'll be back though, so I just be waiting for 'em to come back. So I'm here when they need me. It's like, I don't know, like I just, I know [00:11:00] like my route to where I'm at today, I didn't have that. Like a lot of things I had to figure out. I don't think they have to figure out as much if they just take the advice that's given to 'em.

'cause I also realize now as an adult that if I would've followed my mother's blueprint to a TI wouldn't have went through any of the things that I went through in life.

D Brent Dowlen: Now guys, we're gonna, you're gonna have to actually read the book. Okay? Uh, I, I finished the book and, and I'm not gonna lie, it was, man, there, there are parts where I was angry. There are parts where I was emotional. Um, y'all's story is you want to believe that happens in other countries, like communist countries.

You, you don't wanna believe that happens here in the us. Um, yes. Which makes it so much harder. But you guys, [00:12:00] I will have a complete book review over on the purpose driven men.com later this week, uh, as well, so you guys can dig farther into that book, and we're gonna talk about it a little more today, Deon, when people find out who you are and your backstory, right, this side of this, what do people misunderstand the most about you?

Deon Patrick: A lot of times I do my best to not allow people to know my backstory until they get to know me as a person and understand who I am. Right? Because I think some people will pass judgment on you. Um, I know when I first came home in 2014, it was hard for me to even rent an apartment because they were doing background checks and that stuff was popping up.

I think for me, when people do learn my backstory, I think there's a lot of [00:13:00] questions because a lot of, we live in a society where a lot of people believe in the system, and I live in a world where I understand that the system is broken and it's a flawed system. Like it doesn't actually work all the time.

It works sometimes, but it doesn't work all the time. Right. I think like for me, like just getting to know people and them getting to know me, it gives them a better understanding and then puts them at ease to ask some of the questions they may wanna know. And I'm fine with answering those questions.

D Brent Dowlen: What is one thing everybody should understand about you before we jump into the meat of today? We're gonna get a little more serious here, guys, uh, because this is, there's, Deon has so much valuable. To pass on knowledge wise for you guys, but what is something that everybody should understand about you as a person Before we jump into that?

Deon Patrick: [00:14:00] I think the one thing about me, I'm an open book. I'm constantly learning. I think I've learned stuff from babies since I've been home, right? So I don't feel like at the age of three that uh, I know everything. I'm okay with learning new things. And I think I also have this thing where I truly believe like.

It's not always the message, it's the messenger and it's the way that some things are delivered. And that's just how I accept things now in life because if the the messenger is off, we're not really gonna receive a message. So I'm open to any type of conversation. Uh, I'm diligent in the things that I wanna do, like I'm gonna see 'em through, and that's just who I am as a person.

D Brent Dowlen: Okay. We've been getting to know Deon just a little bit, uh, to let you know who he is today and where he is coming from right now in his [00:15:00] life. And we, we are just barely scratching the surface of a very deep man. In this portion of the show, we're gonna start diving into Deon's story and we're gonna talk about resilience and hard times and perseverance because I believe that Deon has a lot to teach us all and share us with us on this subject.

Now Deon, I'm going to step outta the way and just ask you to share your story to set the stage for the rest of this.

Deon Patrick: Uh, well, I was a young man that was born in the city of Chicago to a, I was born to a union like my mother and father was married when I was born, but they may have gotten divorced when I was like two or three years old.

So I was really raised by a single mother. Me and my brother as well, we were raised in the same household. My mother instilled a lot of different things in me and my brother, like she wanted to show us something different. 'cause we grew up on the west side of Chicago, which is a predominantly African American [00:16:00] community.

And in like the sixth grade, she moved us to the north side of Chicago, like right down the street from Wrigley Field where there was a melting pot of cultures and people. And, uh. She took us to, I learned how to play the piano at a very early age, like five. Me and my brother learned how to play all brass instruments.

Uh, she actually passed away though when I was 16. My brother was 18 when she passed. My brothers away at college already. So, which reverted me back to moving back to the west side with family members. 'cause we had no family on the north side. But I stayed in school on the north side around the friends that I had formed and the relationships that I had formed already when she passed.

It kind of spiraled my life outta control a lot because like she was the only person that ever really, excuse me, disciplined me or told me what to do. So I [00:17:00] found myself like rebelling against a lot of guidance that people was trying to give me or instill in me because I had never had to receive. That type of correction other than from her and, uh, started hanging in the streets a lot more.

Joined a, a street organization, which is considered a street gang. Uh, ended up, I wanna say in ended up going to in penitentiary.

And I came home in 14 months to a totally different neighborhood. Like I had seven co-defendants on this case. I only knew one of 'em before I left for those 14 months. Everybody else was new to the neighborhood within that 14 months, and this case happened like three months and three or four weeks after that, [00:18:00] we all ended up.

In a PO police interrogation room trying to tell our side of the story, which they had already concocted a story as to what had happened. Uh, the youngest of us, as I said earlier, was 15 years old, and he was the first one that they really put in the room and got him to say things to try to get himself out of the room, which bled off to everybody else.

Uh, so. We ended up in the county. I have a co-defendant named Daniel Taylor, who was also a co-author. His story is, the story is, is what it is, but his story is like just unbelievable because he was actually in police custody. The date of murder happened for misdemeanor, uh, like city disorder or something.

They took him in a room and physically abused him and made him say he was there holding someone while they was killed when he was [00:19:00] in their custody at the time. And so we ended up in this fight for our life. Uh, we was facing the death penalty. The Lords we could have got was natural life, which is what me and Daniel received.

Uh uh, so we get convicted. We go off to to penitentiary. Which was a terrible place at that time. And I think what you did in that place was adapted to your environment or you got devoured or eaten up, right? And so we, I don't think I saw the law Li Law Library for the first three years or four years that I was in the penitentiary because I was more focused on staying alive.

Going to the law library and figuring out how to get out of this place. Right? And so fortunately, some things changed within that place, and we got to start focusing on our case board. We got a little bit of help from media outlets, uh, [00:20:00] the Chicago Tribune, the Chicago Sun Times, most of the Chicago news channels came to i a, which was in 19 98, 99.

We first started interacting with them. It still took us like 14, 15 years to come home because we were filing things in that time and we were getting denied. No one was really giving us opportunity or even listening to our story. Uh, and then finally we got a break in our case where Daniel had filed something in the, uh, Illinois Supreme Court, which was Illinois.

Corpus and the attorney general's office who had to respond to that, asked for every piece of paper that had something to do with our case in that those papers they got, there was some papers that we never seen before that they actually proved that Daniel was incarcerated at the time, which they knew from day one because he proved it to him.[00:21:00]

But now we had actual papers that they did. More homework and figured out even more through their means like other Chicago police officers, civilians that worked in the lockup. And that was our one biggest break in the 'cause. I believe if we never were given those papers, 'cause we couldn't have never found 'em 'cause they never gave them to us.

But we were, they were given to us by the attorney general's office and that's the one thing that broke this case and allowed us to get our freedom back.

D Brent Dowlen: Oh, there's, there's so, so, so much to unpack with your story. Um, so guys, if you, if you haven't caught on at this point, Deonne was falsely erroneously convicted in a double homicide that he had no part in. They have been exonerated, they have been proven innocent. They had been proven that they were railroaded into [00:22:00] false confessions, that they had evidence withheld in their case by the prosecution that would've exonerated them.

And Deon spent 21 years in prison, not not nice prison. 21 years in hardcore prison, fighting for his life, fighting for his freedom, fighting for his innocence.

I, I, like I said, I, I have had so many emotional ups and downs reading your story, man, and I, I, I want to encourage people, like I said, we'll have a book review. I encourage you guys go get a copy of this book. Read this story. It reads like something out of a fiction movie. It reads like something you would expect in a communist country, not here in America.

It's, it will bother you. Um, but it is. Just amazing to read, but I I, how do you, [00:23:00] you said in chapter 21 hope's tricky thing, you try and hold onto it, but after a while it becomes heavy, almost like a burden. You start to question whether it's worth carrying around anymore. Mm-hmm. How do you hold your head up and keep moving forward?

You guys went through multiple appeals. You went through multiple stories that the papers wrote trying to help you and other people trying to help you to get slapped down over and over again by the district attorney's office who did not wanna deal with this. Again, they did not want to admit any wrong duties, so haven't, as far as I'm aware of, they did not want to give this a chance to come to light again.

Do you persevere in what most of us would call living hell for so many years and keep going?

Deon Patrick: Uh, I think for me, I always tell people like it wasn't my choice. It was by force. It was like I didn't have a choice but to persevere. [00:24:00] Like I didn't because I knew I shouldn't be there. I knew that, uh, I believed that eventually.

Someone was gonna start listening to us. And I think just watching the environment that I was in, like I had come to the conclusion and I still feel this way, that I didn't belong there. Like I didn't fit in with the crowd of people there. And some people from there take offense when I say that they, what do you mean by that?

I didn't like, I did not fit in with that crowd. Like I, I wasn't a thief, I wasn't a crook, I wasn't a murderer, I wasn't a rapist, I wasn't any of those things. Right. So I understand that I should have been in another environment, and then I had my kids who were very young when I left, right? That I was still in constant communication with.

All I've ever really wanted to do was see one of them walk across the stage, graduate from [00:25:00] somewhere, right? Or just obtain some goals that they set for themselves in life, right? And so I knew in order to do that, I had to get outta that place. And those are my kids and my family. I have an amazing brother as well.

That like kept me motivated to know that you have to get here with us because this is where you belong. So it helped me through that process was I adapting, adapting to my environment. Of course. Doing things to survive in penitentiary, yes. But I knew when I walked out of that place that I was leaving that person behind and I'll never see him again.

I don't even like who that person was. So it's like for me now, when people talk about the old me, I always reiterate that I don't even like the old me. So I know how to keep him fine and how to deal with my problems through different means. Now.[00:26:00]

D Brent Dowlen: So I, I wanna get clear on a, on a couple of those points. So family was a huge driver for you. Yeah. You, you had home to your children. Yes. That was a huge, because I, I want to identify some of these things for other men who are going through difficult times and it will probably be very different situation than you were going through at the time.

God, I hope so. Uh, I, I cannot say how like angry I am that this kind of injustice happens in the us. Like you, you have those institutions you believe in. Mm-hmm. And I, I, I was raised as very patriotic and America I still think is the greatest country. We're not perfect. Like we, we got our problems, but. But when you see an injustice, like y'all's story, like I'm, I'm [00:27:00] angry at such a deep level, it's like this, no, this doesn't happen in, in the world I live in.

This should not happen. We're supposed to be above this. We're supposed to be better than this. Uh, so I, I apologize if I get a little crazy with that, but it's how do we identify some of these things? So family was. A huge driver for you, and you knew you needed to get home to your family, which that's amazing.

That's amazing that you had that support. Mm-hmm. And I'm so grateful and joyful that you did get home to your family. You said you held on to the fact that because you were innocent, you knew this was not where you belonged. So while you adapted, you never accepted that this was it.

Deon Patrick: Right. I think for that, to that point, like a lot of things that people learn how to do in the penitentiary, like I never learned how to do, like the, the food they make, how to wrap the [00:28:00] burritos.

I knew how to do none of that stuff. People used to be like, you been here 20 years and you still don't know. Like I was send my food to somebody else and they would make it and it just was certain things I just didn't wanna learn. I didn't wanna learn. 'cause they're very uh. Savvy in there. Like I didn't watch guys makeup, banana, putting out a pack of cookies.

I never learned how to do that. Like it was just too much for me. Like I wanted to get home and do stuff the traditional way. Like it, there's a rollercoaster we get on in there and I got off of that rollercoaster a long time ago, right? Mm-hmm. Like we had guys and we had these lows and there's really no in between.

Like if we filed something in 98. My lawyer filed it and it looked good to me. I would get this really high, high because I would feel like this is it, and then when they deny it, I get a really low low. So I want to say like towards the middle of that, I just decided I'm not getting on that rollercoaster no more.

I'm just gonna let this stuff [00:29:00] play out and I'm gonna deal with it as it comes. Right. And I think that was the best thing I could have done because those lows. Really low. Like you don't even wanna come out your cell. You wanna just be by yourself. And it's virtually impossible because you're always around somebody else.

D Brent Dowlen: So you held onto the truth, you held onto the fact that you didn't belong, you clung your family. Were you, I, I know at some points you were, uh. In the same facility as Daniel. Were you in the same facility? The other guys? Very

Deon Patrick: rare. Like we all was in the, the county jail together. Mm-hmm. But we all started to transition to the Department of Corrections.

Around the same time, like I wanna say Louis Gardner, we might have spent four or five months in the [00:30:00] Department of Corrections together that he went to a medium joint. 'cause me and Daniel did all of our time in a max facility. So me and Daniel were around each other. Majority of the time that we spent in our DC, we might've been away from each other at the most, a year and a half, but the rest of it, we were in the same facility.

D Brent Dowlen: Did you guys get to interact much? I know in Daniel and some of the portions that the book said that he got to talk to you from time to time, that really helped carry him. Yeah. Y'all were at least in this together,

Deon Patrick: right? We would meet up in like, uh, church service or Islamic service, or we would, I would schedule visits.

My family would come down, they might call him out or we could see each other, but we were rarely in the same cell house, but we would always like a, a kite or a letter away from each other where we could talk and communicate. [00:31:00] So library, so we. The letters that we wanted to write to the Tribune and different lawyers asking for help and stuff like that.

So me and him had way more in action with each other than any of us on this case.

D Brent Dowlen: Another interesting aspect, I I, I thought was you got proactive about it instead of part of, part of that keeping your head up. You got proactive about your future. You said, this isn't where I belong. I'm going home. You got proactive and started educating yourself and learning things you needed to learn so you could do something about the situation.

Deon Patrick: I think like my attorneys always say like, they loved me as a client because one thing about me, I knew my facts. I could, I could tell 'em off the top of my head, I didn't have to be looking at a piece of paper, but [00:32:00] what I didn't know how to do was. Formulate a petition. I didn't know how to put it in a legal jargon and how to write different petitions that the courts would accept.

So all the information that were going to my petitions would basically come from me and they will put it in the language that needs to be had. And I think for Daniel, he was doing the same, like, uh, he talks about educating himself through reading a dictionary back and forth, right? Because he comes from.

He, he was a product of the system, like he was in group homes and stuff like that when we caught this case. So he'd never really been around his family. So a lot of us in there became his family to a degree. And we all like gravitated around each other. And it's a, it's a lot of guys that we met in there that actually home now and some didn't come home under the.

Wrongful conviction, but they were juvenile lifers who got resentence because they deemed juvenile, natural life [00:33:00] unconstitutional, and we're all out here like prospering and doing the right things and trying to stay connected to changing, like we trying to stay connected to reform and just not throwing away kids and.

At 15 to 16 and saying he doesn't have the capacity to change. This is a kid. Like he don't even realize what he's done or what he's been a part of. So we're just fighting those fights now and trying to stay connected to a lot of guys that are still there, fighting for their freedom and just being their support system.

Now

D Brent Dowlen: you said that, uh, y'all would meet at. Every now and then was, was faith a big thing for you in your life before you went in or is that something it was a place to go? Did it play a part in sustaining you or No?

Deon Patrick: I think I'll tell anybody, like I, I don't have a denomination, [00:34:00] but I believe in God, like I'm spiritual, but I don't, I think all denominations that help you be a better person.

Okay with me, right. But as a kid, like me and my brother were, we went to Sunday school every weekend. We had a cousin whose grandfather was a pastor, so we used to go to his church and it was mandatory that we got up and went. So we do understand the Bible and know the Bible, uh, and I think my faith has always been there, but I will say this, like that was a point in my life where I felt like me and God was having a misunderstanding.

Because I didn't understand why my mother left so early 'cause she wasn't. But 38, I was 16 and my mother was probably one of the most beautiful people in my family because I also come from a family of addicts. Like we had drug addicts, we had alcoholics, we had people that had habits, right? My mother wasn't one of those.

She got up and went [00:35:00] to work every day, took care of her kids, made sure we were afforded the things that we needed to. And so I didn't understand that, and then I went through what I was going through and I used to ask God like, what is going on? Like we can't be on the same page because I'm getting put through so much right now, right?

But now when I look back on it, I believe, why not me? Because I watched so many other people go through so many terrible things. I don't question God anymore. I don't question what he does for me, what he has for in store for me. Like I just take it on the chin and I do the best with what's put in front of me.

But I definitely had a time in my life where I used to tell people that like, man, me and God having a real misunderstanding right now. I don't know what's going on, but this can't be life. Right. And I think now I came out on, on the other side. I know I'm a [00:36:00] better person than I was before I went in. Right?

And I also think like God may have saved my life because I was doing things that could have gotten me killed. I was in a neighborhood that I could have died in any day, every day, uh, and I could have possibly been there for something that I may have had a part in or had something to do with if I'd have been out there that long and continued down the road.

So I think God did me a favor. I don't look at this situation as a blessing, but I look back on it and be like, would I be here today? Had I not went through this situation?

D Brent Dowlen: I, I think anyone who says that they believe in God in, in some shape that hasn't at some point been like, uh, you, you and I are not.

Doing real good right now. God, like I, I, I, I [00:37:00] would generally consider that fairly, like just a weak belief anyways, because I know I've searched my, my fights with God where I'm just like, you and I, we just, we're not talking right now. All right? We're, we're not in a good place. Um, I, I think that's very much involved in anybody's relationship with God.

Uh. You, you can't be in a relationship with somebody and always be a hundred percent on, on the same page.

Deon Patrick: Mm-hmm.

D Brent Dowlen: I, I was just curious. I did an interview a couple years ago with a guy who spent 19 years in prison and, and he was justified. He'll even tell you like, no, I should have been there. That's like totally legit.

Um, and in, in that time, he ended up spending like 370 days in solitary. And he's, that's he, he found his relationship with God there, right? Mm-hmm. He was, he doesn't have a [00:38:00] denomination, but he found his relationship with God there. So I'm always curious how things impact people, right? Some people go through a situation and.

All of a sudden there, there's an old saying, there's, there's no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. People go through their own variation of hell and some people come out and go, uh, faith is what it Right. I'm just trying to isolate what are some of the things that helped you survive? 'cause coming out, you're now in a position where you're helping people.

Yes. Where you're trying to serve people. And I think anybody who's even caught a piece of your story, it would be so easy to go. They have every right to be angry, to be bitter, to be like, screw the system, screw the world. You guys all suck, right? Mm-hmm. If anybody is justified in that feeling and to see that you came to this side of it and went, [00:39:00] I'm going to impact people's lives in a positive way, right?

That's not common resilience, that's not common. A common outcome.

Deon Patrick: Mm-hmm. I think just as an adult, like I do understand, like I was a part of the problem at one time. I was a part of the problem in my community. Um, and now I just wanna be a part of the solution. I wanna try to help young men not go down the road that I went now.

And, and it's weird because like, yeah. So when I came home, I started working in violence prevention. I started out with ceasefire, then. At the Institute for Non Chicago, which I stayed there like six, seven years, probably almost eight, became a supervisor over there. We got to interact with young men who I felt like I was looking myself in the mirror at times, and if I had somebody like myself talking to me back then, I would've made different decisions [00:40:00] in life and how I moved in life and soul.

It gives me the opportunity to like tell my story and I'm also trying to meet these guys where they're at. I got the opportunity to go back to school and I had took some, uh, early childhood development classes because I wanted to figure out ways to educate my grand babies and how to know how to deal with them at that age.

And the term emotional intelligence came up and as the teacher was talking, she was talking about how we should have heard this term. Kindergarten or first grade? I was 44 at the time. 45. I had never heard that term before and I was explaining to her like, that's not taught in our communities. Right. But it made so much sense to me, like not just as a kid, but as an adult, like.

Knowing how to keep your emotions in check and how to intelligently deal with your emotions. Because a lot of the things we do be impulse decisions [00:41:00] and we make bad decisions when we're emotional, right? So it gave me opportunity to understand like what was going on in my life and why I moved differently.

Because not even knowing that term I was, I had figured out how to deal with my emotions in there because I think in that place. If somebody dealt with their emotions the wrong way, someone may die. And it's like, okay, you can't just jump off the deep end right here because people get hurt in this place and they get hurt badly.

And so it, it taught me a lot about, I became more, uh, diplomatic, so to say, like while I sit down and talk to guys that I usually wouldn't talk to, it wasn't really much. But we would all have to come to an understanding. And I think, like for me, I find myself now, like I think before I speak, I think before I act, I think like, and people be like, [00:42:00] why you ain't responding?

Because I'm taking a moment because I know that we're not computers. So, 'cause once this come outta my mouth, I can't take it back. Let me think before I say what it is I'm about to say. And so I. I, I really enjoy like talking to the youth and telling them my story. 'cause a lot of them won't believe my story.

'cause I think people expect me to be angry or to be hostile about the situation. And, and I'm really not, like, I don't, I'm not that forgiven. Like I haven't forgiven the people who purposely done this to us, but I'm not angry 'cause that's something they have to deal with. Down the line, not me. So I'm just about bettering myself and putting myself in a better position now.

D Brent Dowlen: So here you are on this side of hell. And I mean, I, I don't know a better way to term it. I

Deon Patrick: Oh, it definitely was that, it's

D Brent Dowlen: temporarily [00:43:00] been, uh, I, I have a friend who used to be the only death row chaplain in the state of Washington. And so I had been to our max facilities here, uh, to help with church services before, and I remember walking in just the unsettling feeling of walking in and through the wall that is the gate at that facility.

And I thought, and I get to leave, right? I, I, I cannot imagine. What you guys went through over that time period. Mm-hmm. And with that, so I, I get why people think you'll be angry, but on this side of that, through all this that you endured, through all the resilience you showed and getting home to your loved ones on this side of this, you found this new purpose and impacting young people and other men and trying to help them steer in a more positive.[00:44:00]

Direction. Trying to make sure they don't make the same mistakes. Trying to make sure they're equipped. And you made this natural transition.

Was it just that smooth or was this something that just, you're like, I, I have to do something about this?

Deon Patrick: I think I felt, uh, uh, obligation and a duty when I came home to. Do the right thing, stay connected to, uh, the Department of Corrections, uh, to my friends that I had grown and knowing there, uh, and, and it is, it is weird.

I have a friend who's now the, uh, executive director of the Illinois ReSTOR Justice Foundation. He did 26 years, caught his case when he was 16, was a juvenile lifer. And when he tells his story, he talks about. How I impacted what he came home [00:45:00] and did, because like for years we had a lot of guys going home was like, man, gimme your information.

I'm gonna send you something, I'm gonna write you. I'm gonna stay in touch with you. And it never happened. Like I came home and I picked up that baton and ran with it. Like I've been home 11 years. I don't think there's been three days straight that I haven't gotten a call from the Department of Corrections.

Uh, I sent pictures. I don't write because that's like a lot like, but they had this thing where you can go on the internet and send little messages. Now I send money, I take calls from everybody. Like I just try to stay connected and get those guys that hope. And if I could possibly not pay for a lawyer, but find a lawyer like they did with us and take their case pro bono.

Mm-hmm. I even do that. They know somebody out.

Now we formed this group of us where it's probably over 20 of us that's out here now that's doing the same thing. And it is ever growing, ev ever expanded because guys are coming [00:46:00] home every day now. Guys are coming home every month. So we are seeing one of our other friends come out and they're getting right in with the group.

And that support system is getting bigger. And I think it is also getting society to better understand it because now the story is being told by. Impacted people. It's not being told. 'cause the first, the first person to take up the baton in Illinois for juvenile natural lifers was a, a middle aged white woman whose son was in there for natural life.

And she was always fighting and telling the story with another lady named Joby case. And, but job's goal was always to turn the realm over the hands, over to impacted people so we could tell our own stories. Now we are there and it's making much more of a social impact than when it's being towed by someone who's never seen the inside of a police car, who really can't tell [00:47:00] you what goes on behind those walls.

Right. And like you just spoke about walking in, I fought for my right when I came home to be able to go visit people in there. Because a lot of times they don't want to let us back in there because they're claim it's a breach of security because we've been there before and this and that, and it was eerie like walking in through the front door because I always came in through the back or the sally port, so I had never walked in and been able to walk out.

So like my first few visits, like I used to have butterflies going in there. I actually sat on the wrong side of the visiting room table before. I sat where the inmates sit and they had to come over there like, Hey, you ain't gotta sit over there no more. You can sit over here, right? And I'm like, oh, I'm messed up.

Like, lemme get on this side. But it's just, I was programmed a certain way. So once I got back inside of there, the same [00:48:00] movements and things I was programmed to doing there, they kicked back in for a split second. Even the guys that was in there that knew me was laughing like, Hey bro, you don't have to sit over there no more.

You can sit over here. And I'm like, oh, this is crazy. But it, it is definitely a, a weird feeling like when you walking away from that place knowing you leaving people behind. And my son used to go through that as a kid. Like he used to cry when it was time to leave at the end of the visit and tell his mama he wanted to stay with me.

It's like, you can't stay with me and I don't want you to stay with me. Right? So it's like when you care about people and you go in there and you getting to know those guys like y'all was going in with the PRI prison ministry, some of those guys gonna grow on you, whether you went in with that goal or not, because some people have genuinely changed in there and they become good people.

They just may not get another chance to actually show the world at.[00:49:00]

D Brent Dowlen: For the, for men listening right now who are going through their rough time. Right. Uh, I have a personal training background, which has changed the way I think about things, right? I don't think there is heavy weight. There is heavy weight relative to that person, right? What's heavy weight to me is not heavy, is beyond con concept to some people and for other people is nothing.

Right? So there, there are men going through hard times in their life, difficult situations where they're not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. They're not seeing how they're gonna wade through this, and they certainly are not sure how they're going to move forward in a positive direction. So what are your first like three suggestions for men who are trying to come through a situation to move forward in a positive direction?

Deon Patrick: Uh, I think first and foremost, like [00:50:00] they can't give up because if we give up, it makes it easier for everybody else to give up. If we stop fighting, who's gonna fight for us? And I think you have to have some faith in something. You have to find something to grasp onto that motivates you every day to get up and fight What.

For the outcome that you're looking for, because some guys are just looking for time cuts or, or lower sentences and stuff like that. So it's like if there's something that you're looking for, like you have to have something that motivates you to achieve that. And I think like you just have to in that place.

It may be easier said than done, but you have to surround yourself with like-minded people. People that want, that have goals and aspirations for themselves. 'cause some people in there just don't, and you have some innocent people in there that probably have just given up and they just laying around. Uh, if they making [00:51:00] commissary, they're fine.

They content with that. Like I never be became content with any of that stuff. Like it was just, I just knew that there was more to life that I wanted to do. A lot of it came from my mother, like seeing instilled something different than me and my brother. And I was having a conversation with somebody two days ago and they were talking about being a product of your environment.

I don't believe in that because me and my brother came out of the same environment and we took two different paths and like my brother's never seen inside of a police cop. He's a a military veteran. He has two boys, he has some grandkids now he's been with his wife. Almost 30 years. So it's like I don't, I feel like I made poor decisions after my mother left and my brother kept making good decisions.

So I, when people say that, do I understand that it happens, yes. But you also have doctors, lawyers, police, and everything else that come out of those same [00:52:00] environments. So I don't think it's just a science to that. And I think as us being in that place, like we have to. Really fight for what it is we want, because if we stop fighting, it gives everybody else the opportunity to stop fighting, because if we are not fighting that mean we're not sending stuff to people to try to help us.

We're not asking for help anymore. So they have to stay steadfast in, in their belief that the outcome that they're looking for is gonna happen.

D Brent Dowlen: Ian, what's next for you? You guys have written the book and you've got this organization going. You're trying to help more men, you're trying to help guys on the inside. You're trying to help anybody, you can. What, what's the next project? What's the next goal?

Deon Patrick: Uh, for me right now, I've really been focused on getting this message out to the world.

Uh, um, I am a believer in [00:53:00] the. Law enforcement because I don't really wanna feel like I'm not a person that's like disband the police. I don't believe in that because it'll be the wild, wild west and people will prey on people. Right? Yep. And I also have family members that have been, Chicago police have retired from that.

Like I have aunts, cousins and everything. I watched people in. Be law enforcement, but the community knew them so they were treated differently and we responded differently to them. So I think what's next for me is just to keep moving in a positive direction. I go see my mother almost every time I go back to Illinois, right?

And one of the things I ask concierge, are you proud of me now? Because I know I've disappointed her in life by going through some of the things that I went through, right? So now I focus on making sure this lady is proud of me. Understands that I got everything that she said. And I still, I, I said to my [00:54:00] kids, now I find myself repeating things that she used to say to me as a kid to them.

And I think, like for me now, I just wanna push this book. I, uh, I'm like a part business owner of a steakhouse that just was built in Barrington, Illinois. I'm doing rehabs now. I've gotten into the property and the real estate stuff, so I'm just trying to. I wanna write my own obituary, like I wanna be able to put some things in there that wasn't there at first.

I, I, I really don't like going to funerals where they'd be like, uh, well, he got baptized when he was six. He graduated from the eighth grade, and then they start naming off family members like it, some people pass away and really haven't done anything in life. And I, I don't want people. I put fluffers in my bitch where I wanted to be.

Some stuff that really means something and I wanted to be some stuff that changed the way people see things. Like I think [00:55:00] like one of our main goals now is to like bring forth some awareness that this stuff happens and it's still happening in Chicago because Chicago is like the wrongful conviction capital of the world.

There was times when in the late seventies. Early eighties, maybe you can go into the sixties where guys were being waterboarded. Uh, guys were, uh, this one detective. They found a, like a battery with jumper cables in his room where he was putting it on grown men's testicles and saying they confessed to a murder they had confessed to anything you ask them to confess to get right and torture system set up right now.

These are men that went in there at 1819. They 60 and 70 years old now, but they're still sitting in IDOC because of these things that happened to them. So I think we're just pushing this [00:56:00] awareness and getting people to understand that we do have the capacity to change. Like I think people feel like, oh, he was a gang member.

He'll never change. He was a kid though that really didn't understand what he was doing. And then I had this thing too, like. I think, I feel like, uh, there's this thing in my mind where you're either surviving or you're living right. And I think I'm living now, like I, I walk out my door comfortably 'cause I know I'm gonna make it back to my door 'cause I'm not doing anything that puts my life in jeopardy.

And I understand things do happen. I'm traveling. I see. I'm.

I watched commercials when I was in the Department of Corrections and said, man, I wanna visit that place one day. I've been there now. So I think like that's my whole goal now, is to continue to push this message on the world and get them to understand that [00:57:00] we do have the capacity to change. We do have the capacity to become productive citizens and.

Do things that matter in our communities and our society.

D Brent Dowlen: Deon, where is the best place for people to connect with you after they hear this show?

Deon Patrick: Uh, we have, uh, the Hazel Boys, uh, website, uh, and then my email address is Deon dot Patrick forty2@yahoo.com because I don't have a lot of social media under my name, so it's like.

It'll be kind of hard, but I think the hazel boys.com would be the best place to, uh, get in touch with me or either any of my co-authors and speak to them about anything that they've been through as well. All right,

D Brent Dowlen: and guys, of course, I'll have all of Deon's links down in the description of the show notes, whatever platform you're on with us today, beyond if our audience heard nothing else today.[00:58:00]

Right in this moment, what is the most important takeaway you want people to hear today from you?

Deon Patrick: I think most importantly like is always seek the truth. Don't let somebody tell you that this is what happened and this is how it happened, and just run with that. Do your own homework and your own due diligence to really off into Makes sense because. When something don't make sense to me, I don't agree with it, and that's just who I'm as a person.

And so I think like always do your own homework,

D Brent Dowlen: guys. With that, thanks for joining us today on the Driven Thrive Broadcast or Deanna, myself, guys. Keep living, keep thriving, and, uh, be better tomorrow because what you do today, we'll see you on the next one. The Driven to Thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving.

Purpose-filled intentional [00:59:00] lives.

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