Raising Resilient Kids: 10 Essential Life Skills Every Parent Must Teach Before 18!

Raising Resilient Kids: 10 Essential Life Skills Every Parent Must Teach Before 18!

D Brent Dowlen: [00:00:00] Imagine sending your child into the world at 18 equipped, not just with knowledge, but with essential life skills that will empower them to thrive as functional adults. In this episode of the Fallible Man podcast, we're going to uncover 10 crucial skills. Every parent should teach their kids skills that go beyond academics that prepare them for real life.

Join us as we explore how these lessons can shape their future and set them on a path to success. Let's get into it. Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential growing to the men we dream of becoming while taking care of our responsibilities, working, living, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves?

Well, that's the big question. And in this podcast, we'll help you with those answers. My name is Brent. Welcome to the family man podcast. No dad wants to be a crappy dad. In fact, no one in the world will ever want to see your kids thrive more than you do. We'll out and out, [00:01:00] just kill ourselves quite literally, trying to make sure that our kids surpass us in every positive way.

Most powerful gift you can give your kids is your knowledge, even though they don't always want it or appreciate it at the time, right? Hindsight is powerful. I know at 44, Some of the things my dad told me that I rolled my eyes at, it's like, wow, God, I was stupid. Right? So they don't always appreciate it at the time.

However, we have kids hitting 19 who can't even function at a basic level as an adult these days. So today we're going to share the basics that I've compiled into a list that will help you help your kids thrive. Well, let's, let's roll that back. It will help you help your kids just function. Um, As basic adults.

And we'll get to the thriving part after I've got the complete list over on my blog for you guys, in case you can't take notes, really send this on your [00:02:00] phone or whatever, and I'll share that link down in the show notes or in the description, whatever platform you're checking this out on. So you can go over and see the solid list.

You can use that as a checklist or whatever you want to. It's a lot to cover. So I know that. I need to put that somewhere. So check out my blog, get the full list over there and let's get on with the show. Oh, and by the way, before I forget, my name's Brent and welcome to fallible man podcast, where we dive into everything about being a better man, husband, father, big shout out.

Foul nation. That's our long time loyal listeners and a warm welcome to those of you joining us for the first time. We appreciate your choosing to spend time with us. With all the options out there. So thanks for giving us a chance and be sure and let us know what you think of the show. Here we go. 10 essential life skills that every parent must teach their kid before they turn 18.

Starting with number one is manners and polite interaction. Now, you may not see this as a life skill, [00:03:00] but if you've ever been around kids who don't have these skills, then you know this actually is a life skill. You see, the world works on basic social constructs, whether we like it or not. It doesn't matter how we feel about it.

There are just basic social constructs in the world. So things like please and thank you matter and make a huge difference. Treating people with basic human respect. You think that that's just a foregone conclusion and given, but these days it's not being coachable, making sure that your kid is polite enough and has the manners to actually receive coaching.

I'm not saying criticism, but to actually be coachable, because if you don't teach your kid to be coachable, coachable, when you're instructing them and teach them the standard of being coachable as a parent. Their coaches won't appreciate it and their employers certainly will not later in life. Polite interaction is part of that.

Now, let me give you a couple of examples. Don't run [00:04:00] over people in public spaces, like running through and knocking down old ladies in the grocery store are, uh, shouting really loud when unnecessary or for God's sake and new pet peeve. I didn't know it existed until I saw it. But those people who walk around with their cell phones on speaker phone, because they're too cheap and it's not, it's not too poor.

I bought my kid a pair of Bluetooth headphones that would appear to a phone for 12 bucks compared to MP3 player. Okay. It's not a poor thing because those people have 600 phones. Walking around with your phone on speakerphone and talking in public spaces is rude. Cutting people off, like basic, polite interaction in society, uh, paying attention to what you're saying and who's around when you're saying it.

I was in the line at the grocery store with my two daughters yesterday. And some dude walks by just dropping F bombs. [00:05:00] You know what? I get no problem with you dropping F bombs, but don't drop them in front of my kids. Right? You, your free will, your free speech doesn't give you the right to impose on others.

And I believe that in all, all facets, guys, I don't have the right. If I, I may feel like it's okay to talk like that in front of my kids, but I don't feel like you have the right to talk like that in front of, right. You may not feel like I have the right to talk about that in front of you like that in front of your kids.

So basic. Social construct guys, this polite interaction and manners and respect for the people around you is a huge, huge, huge thing to make them functional in society many, many, many years from now. Number two, gentlemen, basic cooking and nutrition. The amount of boys and girls who cannot cook at all outside of a microwave these days is [00:06:00] appalling.

It is a basic life skill, preparing balanced and healthy meals, grocery shopping on a budget, right? Understanding how to grocery shop with a budget, understanding basic food safety and storage. How long can you stick that in the fridge and still eat it without poisoning you or somebody else? What foods can you store for how long?

Different foods have different ratios. Now, guess what? I understand that some of you may not know these things, but I You as an adult have the ability and as a parent have the responsibility to teach them to yourself first. And then that way you can teach them to your kids. Basic life skills. Pretty simple.

Number three, home maintenance. Seriously, your kids should be able to change the light bulb. They should be able to do basic repairs. We're not talking about advanced plumbing plumbing. I have a [00:07:00] friend who's a plumber. He's a phenomenal plumber. When my pipes went bad, I called him because I knew it was way beyond my skill level, but I can fix the leaky faucet.

I can fix the drain under my sink to an extent. I wrap my own pipes. I've capped off broken pipes before basic home repairs. How do you fix a door? How do you fix a door jam? How do you take a door on and off? How do you change the light bulb? How do you fix a squeaky hinge? Right? These are not rocket science things, and these are not things you need to call.

A huge expert for these are things you should be able to do. Flipping a circuit breaker in your house, plugging things in to make them work. Really? I've seen it guys. And it's just amazing to me. The basics of how to use hand tools and basic tools, screwdrivers, hammers, things like this, how to keep a clean and safe living environment.

These are all [00:08:00] skills that fall under home maintenance that your child should be able to do before they ever leave your home. Number four, and I'm really going to step on some toes with this. Are you ready? Okay.

You know that class they basically have taken out of school where they actually taught you how to cook and how to do things like that? Yeah, it's all but gone by the wayside, budget cuts, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Instead we put in stupid things like How to question what your gender is, but we've removed value classes like home ec, because whether you liked it or not, it was valuable skills.

And we need to teach that as parents, basic skills. I believe that everybody should know the basics of sewing. Do you need to be a seamstress? No. Should you be able to show, sew a button back on your shirt? Absolutely. How to do the laundry. I'm sorry, if you can't do the laundry by the time you're 18, you have failed as a parent before that.

Sorry guys. How to have [00:09:00] guests. Right? People these days don't seem to understand that there's a difference between you being at home alone and the way you conduct yourself when you have company. How to start a fire. Yes, I know not all homes have a fireplace, but guess what? By a stinking fire pit, you'll have some great bonding experiences with your kids.

Teach them how to build a fire, how to chop wood. Yes. How to use an ax. I know it's scary. And for all of you city folk, that may not seem like a valid thing. If you ever go camping, guess what? It becomes a valid thing. How do you use a pocket knife? Okay. For umpteen years running, I have no idea how long they've been rating tools, but for a bazillion years running, the basic pocket knife has been the number one or number two tool and 99 percent of the time is the number one tool.

Listed for all people because you can use the pocket knife for everything. My daughter likes to tease me because my pocket [00:10:00] knives all have the tips broken off because my knives are workhorses, guys. I use my knives for everything. Bottle opening, screwing things together, shaving things, cutting wiring, eating food.

I use it for everything. I was raised with a pocket knife. Your child should safely be able to use a pocket knife. I got my first one when I was six. I've been using it ever since. My grandfather gave it to me at six years old. Guys, I still have it. Pocket knives, basic tools for everyday life. Number five, gentlemen, basic health and wellness, recognizing the importance of regular exercise for both mental and emotional and physical health.

This is something you should teach your kids. You may not be a personal trainer. I'm a certified personal trainer, at least until I let it lapse and expire because I don't actually care. But I am a certified personal trainer. I don't expect you to be that person, but. You can teach your kids to get up and move, and you [00:11:00] should.

We are too sedentary a society, and it's killing us. So teach your kids the basics of the importance of regular exercise and taking care of your mental health as well. They should know basic first aid and CPR. If you don't know how to stop a nosebleed by the time you're 10 or 11, your parents have been dropping the ball.

Gentlemen, I'm talking to you. If your kid can't stop their own nosebleed by 10 or 11, you missed something. It's time to fix that. How to have healthy relationships. I lump this in with health and wellness, because you are the model of a healthy relationship for your child, and you have to set that example.

And the example you set will actually impact them for the rest of their life. So teach them how to have healthy relationships, friendships, romantic relationships. You're the model. Figure it out. How to treat people. And how to expect to be treated. Now I really struggled with this one being in basic [00:12:00] politeness and social norms and health and wellness, knowing how to treat people and how to expect to be treated affects you at a mental and emotional level.

So I threw it in with health and wellness. It could have fallen in either one. The last one to health and wellness is boundaries, right? You should set boundaries, teach your kids how to set boundaries. So one of the big problems we got going on these days is kids don't understand how to set healthy boundaries to protect themselves from other people.

That's your job as a parent that falls into it. And those are just the first five skills guys. We're going to roll our sponsor and we'll be right back with the rest of the list

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Let's get on with this list. Number six, guys, basic vehicle maintenance. Now this is getting comp more and more complicated, so I'm gonna give you a little leeway on this one. Uh, but there are certain things that are still important, checking tire pressure and oil levels. Because the gauges don't always give you the real truth.

Understanding what the little gauges and lights are on your dashboard. Your kids shouldn't just be able to jump in the car and not to go somewhere. If they're old enough to drive and not know what those symbols mean. When you get that call, Hey dad, there's this green light on [00:15:00] the dashboard. And, uh, yeah, the car sounds a little funny.

What light? I don't know. It looks like a little teapot guys. Teach your kids what those lights mean, how to check the tire pressure, the oil levels, the wiper fluid, basic knowledge, right? Know how to respond to common issues like a flat tire, because Elon Musk is taking all the fun out of driving with his smart cars, but they still don't fix their own tires.

Yes. Some of them will go flat without going flat. But unless you have one of those, Every kid, and even if you have one of those, every kid needs to learn how to change a tire. If your kid can't take, change a tire, then they shouldn't be allowed to drive. Just, just a fact. Number seven, gentlemen, we're moving beyond what we commonly think of as life skills to Some really crucial life skills beyond the everyday action items.

[00:16:00] These are the ones that those are the basic, this is how we exist and live. This is the, you need these to survive in life period. And you don't think about them. Like number seven, financial management, financial IQ. I've done entire shows on this teacher, your kids, the basics of budgeting, saving money, help them to understand how to use a check register, how to record.

How to reconcile a check register, teach them about putting away money for emergencies and long time goals. Teach them about investing. If you don't know about that, I've done entire videos on teaching your kids about investing because that's something I do with my children because nobody taught me. So now I learned and I'm teaching my children because somebody should have taught them right.

And that falls on me. I understand credit, debit, investing basics. You don't have to be a financial guru from wall street to teach your kids. Okay. The basics of finances, but there are a lot of kids who are getting themselves into a lot of trouble [00:17:00] because they have no idea what financial IQ even is.

Number eight, effective communication, verbal written communication skills. Now, The written communication skill thing is going away and it's tragedy. Okay. The only thing kids are learning to do is sign their name, not actually sign their name like we had to know. They're learning how to scribble out their name.

I was working with a kid the other day in junior high and his writing was. Wow. He couldn't spell basic four letter words and he was in junior high written communication is a dying form, but it's more important than ever. So teach your kids to write. Schools where I am weren't teaching cursive. So my mom, my wife stepped in and started teaching my kids cursive.

Back when they were in kindergarten and preschool, they can now write in cursive and the homeschooling we use requires it. [00:18:00] But we saw it wasn't being taught and people in my family stepped in to take care of it. My wife and my mother, like I said, cause I don't, my writing's pretty bad too. I type too much.

And we all do. We all touch screen and type too much. So our writing skills are going away, but basic communication skills are never going away. Active Listening and Conflict Resolution. You're the model for this. Teach your kids to actually actively listen and how to resolve conflicts, not to run away from conflicts, not to shut down from conflicts, but actual conflict resolution as part of communication.

Networking and building meaningful relationships is part of communication. Being able to interact and network with other people who can bring value to your world. That's friends, that's family members, that's peers, networking and building meaningful relationships. All part of communication skills that you need to teach your children before they ever leave your house.

If they want to survive [00:19:00] and actually thrive in this world. Number nine, time management skills, prioritizing tasks and setting goals. Using tools like calendars and apps to say, organize, avoiding procrastination and managing the stress that comes with having deadlines and stuff like that. Let's do this even better.

Let's go a step farther than just time management. Let's teach them the value of time. If you say I'm going to be there at 9am, you better be there at 855. I won't even throw a Lombardi's rule of time at you, which is what I live by, which is 15 minutes early. If you're not 15 minutes early, you're late.

That is the military standard. That was the standard of my dad set before the military even. But let's teach kids to respect time. If they're supposed to be at work at 6 AM and they show up at 605 repeatedly, guess what? They're not going to have a job very long. And that's on you because you didn't teach them those skills.[00:20:00]

Time management is critical for the rest of their life. Number 10 critical thinking and problem solving. There is a absolute lack of this in young adults coming up. Like it's like watching a monkey try and put together a 3d puzzle. And it works about that fast. Teach your kids to analyze situations so they can make informed decisions.

Teach them to think creatively, to overcome challenges and think their way around and through difficulties. Teach them how managing emotions during stressful situations will help them stay clear on their thinking and problem solving so they don't get into more trouble or more of a difficult situation.

Critical thinking skills and problem solving are essential life skills and that starts when they're young. Now gentlemen, these are 10 essential life skills every parent must teach [00:21:00] their kids before they're 18 for their kids to be able to enter the world. As functional adults, that's the, we're not even too thriving.

Your kids, you know, the world is functional adults. They need these 10 things from you. They need you to be teaching these things. Yes. A lot of the education we throw at them. Some has value, some doesn't have value, but these 10 things are critical. And the things you are responsible for as an adult. Now, we all want our children to thrive in the world as adults, to surpass our life in all of the best ways.

For that to happen, we have to start with this solid foundation of basics for just a functional adult. And 10 things are actually going to put your kids ahead. If you can teach them these 10 lessons, they will put your kid ahead at 18 because the majority of parents aren't teaching the majority of these skills.

Now, I know there are a lot of quote unquote old fashioned or air quotes traditional [00:22:00] skills, uh, that I mentioned that people have been skipping out on for whatever reason. And so they seem a little, maybe they seem a little outdated to you, but they're not. We have a lot of useless adults today that can barely Are not at all survive on their own because people were skipping the skills, which used to be foundational skills for a functional adult.

We also have a lot of a whole adults who are obviously not taught some of these things like social interaction in polite society and all those things. We need to change that with our kids. And if you want your kid to succeed, not just succeed, but thrive as an adult, you really need to make sure you're teaching these foundational skills.

Now, if you really want your kid to thrive, pass on some deep wisdom while you're at it. Here are five incredibly valuable pieces of wisdom that you can share with them. We're not gonna spend a lot of time on them. You can share with them that are solid gold. Okay. These are just universal truths that are solid [00:23:00] gold.

And when they plot, apply these wisdoms to these other 10 skills that you have taught them, they're going to thrive. First one is no one's coming to save you. Teach your kids. They're going to have to carry their own load. And get themselves out of the trouble they get themselves into. That doesn't mean letting them fall totally unprotected, but that means letting them learn that they're going to have to take care of themselves.

Number two is the two most valuable assets that they have are their time and their attention. That is what everybody in the world wants from them. More so than their money. They want their time and attention because your time and attention are money and are more valuable. So teach them that those things where they spend their time and their attention.

It's what they actually are valuing and they are the most valuable schedule things they have. The third one is take responsibility for all your problems. And that alleviates more suffering than it ever creates. If you start by taking responsibility for your own actions, your own choices, [00:24:00] your own problems, You'll be light years ahead of everybody else.

Before it's disciplined and hard work will take you further than anything else. Number five is failure. It's just a part of the journey. It's not the end. It's not the beginning. It might be the beginning, but it's not the end. It's just part of the journey. If they learn that it's okay to fail. And learn the lessons from that and get up and do it again.

Add those five pieces of wisdom. And I'm sure you can think of some more that you want to pass on your kids. But you've got those five pieces of wisdom to these 10 skills we talked about. Your child is set up to thrive as an adult because those small list of things really are light years ahead of the 95%.

Gentlemen. Teach these essential life skills and share these timeless pieces of wisdom with your kids. It's not about just setting them up to survive. It's about equipping them to thrive as adults, to build the lives full of purpose and impact. Remember, [00:25:00] you're their first and greatest teacher and you always will be.

The effort you invest today will echo in their futures. If you found the episode valuable, I encourage you to subscribe to our bi weekly newsletter. Subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already, but subscribe to the bi weekly newsletter is packed with insights, tips and resources to help you on your journey to being the best man, husband and father you can be.

Don't miss out, sign up. There's a link down in the show notes or in the description, whatever platform you're on. You'll find the complete list over on my blog of the skills we talked about www. thefallibleman. com slash blog. Let's keep building a stronger future for our families together. Thanks for being part of the fallible nation until next time be better tomorrow, because what you do today, we'll see you on the next one.

David McCarter: This has been the fallible man podcast, your home for everything, man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show head over to www. thefallibleman. [00:26:00] com for more content and get your own fallible man gear.