Navigating the Rollercoaster of Parenthood: 10 Inconvenient Truths

[00:00:00] Are you ready to deep dive into the rollercoaster ride of parenthood? Where love and frustration often go hand in hand. Join us in this episode of the Fallow Man podcast as we explore 10 profound truths about parenting that every father and slash mother, every parent should know. Whether you're a seasoned dad or just starting on this incredible journey, these insights will challenge your perspective, tug at your heartstrings and ultimately help you become a better, more engaged parent.

So buckle up, get ready to navigate the joys and the challenges that's called fatherhood.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential growing into the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves. Well, that's the big question in this podcast. We'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man podcast.[00:01:00]

Welcome to the Fallible Man podcast. Your home for all things, man. My name is Brent and I am the fallible man and a big shout out to fallible nation. That's our private community. There's more about that in the description. If you're watching this, or if you're listening to it, it's in the show notes, warm, welcome to our first time listeners.

Hey, we know your time is valuable and thanks for giving us a shot. I hope you enjoy the show. Love to hear what you think about it. Thanks for checking us out and let's get into the show. Parenting is a wild ride, isn't it? I mean, the journey of raising children is a mixture of heartwarming moments and hair pulling frustrations.

Often, all within the same day, or even the same hour, or even the same 10 minutes. So no matter how much you love your children, there are times you may not particularly like them. That's just one of the many paradoxes of being a parent. In this episode, we'll unpack 10 powerful truths about fatherhood, motherhood, parenthood, whatever you want to say.

I'm going to say fatherhood because I generally talk to men [00:02:00] most of the time. But this applies to all parents and it will resonate with every parent out there. From the importance of balancing love with discipline to the significance of spending quality time over chasing money, we'll explore the complex tapestry that is parenthood.

I want to share 10 ideas with you guys and I promise you some of these are going to challenge you. So buckle up. Uh, I get a lot of, a lot of crazed looks every now and then when I say some of these things out loud. So I'm probably stepping on toes today, guys, but Hey, it wouldn't be my show without it. So number one is loving versus liking.

It's crucial to understand that loving your children doesn't always mean you'll always like their behavior or their choices. Parenthood involves tough love and setting boundaries while nurturing growth. The truth is, you're not always going to like your children. It doesn't mean you're a bad parent, or that you don't love them.

It just means that they're humans, and so are [00:03:00] you, and not all the time you're going to see eye to eye on everything, and sometimes they're going to get under your skin. That's just what happens. I have a lot of young parents with, like, newborns look at me like, You're a monster! No, it's just parenting, guys.

The older your kids get, the more you understand that concept, but please don't think you're a bad parent when you don't particularly like your kids for the moment, because that will change in a few minutes anyways. And so number two, self care and selflessness to truly love your family. You have to take care of your own health.

I see a lot of parents sideline their health because they get busy with their kids and they feel guilty. When they do take time for themselves, neglecting yourself can hinder your ability to provide and support your loved ones effectively. Provide for and support your loved ones effectively. You're setting the example for their health [00:04:00] practices and their children's.

You are staging how they're gonna take care of themselves for the rest of their lives. If you aren't taking care of yourself, you're risking their well-being, their children's well wellbeing, and you're putting a huge burden on your kids. You need to stay healthy as a parent. For their sake and for yours because you don't want to cut that journey short and because what you do is what they're going to mirror.

Number three, parental anger. Children have this magical, uncanny ability to push your buttons like nobody else. I mean, they can honestly make us angrier than anybody else in our lives. Your child knows exactly how to push that button, just twist until you are ready to blow. Understanding and managing our reactions is really important because there's never an excuse to take it out on the kids because they're just being [00:05:00] the kid that they were naturally inclined to be.

It's part of their nature. They don't know that that's not okay yet. You're going to learn those to set those boundaries with them, but being angry at them doesn't make you a bad parent. Okay. Taking that anger out on them. That makes you a bad parent. Let's be honest. But being angry at your kids for the moment because they know exactly, trust me, they know how to exploit every weakness and they will make you angrier than anybody else in your life.

It doesn't make you a bad parent because you got angry. Okay. That's just part of the parental journey. And those moments will come and go. Number four, imperfect parenting. I was on my friend, Brandon show the other day, the be better broadcast. And we were talking about parenting and I randomly took a shot and said, there's hundreds of thousands of books on parenting.[00:06:00]

I actually have no idea, but I know there's at least hundreds of thousands of books on parenting, but let me tell you the ultimate truth that we just don't like to say out loud. There is no one size fits all manual for parenting. There's no such thing as a perfect way to parent. Are a perfect parent or a perfect child.

Each child's unique and the journey is bound to be filled with trial and error. You're going to constantly have to learn and adjust. And that's not just like from your kids to somebody else's kids. That will be from child to child. I have two children. They have distinctly different personalities. They have distinctly different needs and love languages.

And every day is a learning experience. Parenting the way I do with the oldest one doesn't work with the youngest one. There is no one size fits all perfect parent. So please stop beating yourself up. Educate [00:07:00] yourself on being a parent. That's great. Read books. Get ideas. Talk to your parents you look up to.

But understand at the end of the day, There's not a perfect one size fits all, so cut yourself some slack. It's a learning experience. Do your best, but know that no one's got it perfect and no one's ever been perfect at it. Number five, parenting goes way beyond financial provision. Dads. This is one of us, one of those things that a lot of us struggle with or fall into providing for your family since far, far beyond financial support.

Emotional and physical presence matter just as much, if not more actually than financial provision. Yes, you should try and provide for them physically, but to be a good dad, you have to provide for them emotionally, spiritually, and mentally as well. You have to be emotionally and physically present. You have to be active in their life.

This is [00:08:00] provision. Anybody can write a paycheck. Anybody can pay the bills. It takes a dad to be able our mom to provide for your children in a holistic way. It's not just about money. Number six, quality time versus money thought we should just keep rolling on that theme because this is important. As your children grow, they will cherish the moments spent with them far more than the material possessions you can provide for them.

Time is a precious gift that money can't buy. You got to make a living. We all know that you have to get paid. You have to pay bills and you want to provide the best life for your kids. Just remember the best is you actively in their lives. I promise as time goes on, no one lays on their deathbed and wishes they had made more money.

One of the most [00:09:00] common deathbed thoughts, however, is I wish I had spent more time with people that mattered. Or, on the side of the family, I wish dad had spent more time with us and less time working. I've seen it time and time again, growing up a minister's son, I was at a lot of funerals. I've heard a lot of deathbed thoughts.

No one goes, I wish I had worked 20 extra hours. No, they all say, I wish I spent more time with people that matter. So, understand, yes, you need to pay your bills. And I understand we all want to provide the best we can financially. But your time and attention is far more valuable to your children and your loved ones than your monetary value.

Number seven, actions speak louder than words. Your children learn by observing your behavior. So be the role model you want them to emulate. Your actions carry more weight than your words will ever carry. Your [00:10:00] children will live based on the example you set in your life, not by what you tell them to do.

Let me say that again. You need to process this. Your children will live based on the example you set in your life, not by what you tell them to do. Number eight, parenthoods, challenges, and blessings. Parenting is undoubtedly, it's hard guys. And it's okay to admit that parenting is not easy. It is exhausting.

It is stressful. It is frustrating and a whole lot of more than I can even put into words accurately. However, the rewards and blessings it brings are immeasurable. Love and joy your children bring make the journey worth every hardship, but do cut yourself a little bit of slack. Yes, it's tough. We know it.

Any parent knows it [00:11:00] and it's okay to admit it. But I promise it's worth it in the end. Number nine, children's observations. Kids are incredibly incredibly perceptive. Often they understand way more about our lives than you realize. They see everything that's happening. They're aware of what's going on in their world.

So be mindful of the example you're setting. They see everything. That's why I talk about how important it is to live as the example because they see what you're doing and it's far more impressive than what you're saying. But they're also seeing what else is going on in your life. So if you're tired and frustrated, if you're stressed out, they're picking up on all of the guys, they're not missing this.

You're not hiding it. So be mindful of the example you set. Let them see you struggle. Let them see you overcome. Let them see [00:12:00] you successfully work through hardships. It will help them do it in the future. Number 10, engage parenting. Your active involvement in your children's lives is a predicator of their future happiness and success.

Being present and engaged matters more than you might ever think. It is actually the single biggest predictor of a person's long term happiness and success in their life. It's how engaged and involved their parents were in their life. You matter in their lives, so live like it. Now in the grand adventure of parenthood or fatherhood, these 10 truths serve as a beacon to help us navigate the turbulent waters.

Remember, being a parent is not about being perfect. It's about being present. As you reflect on these insights, take a moment to assess your own journey as a dad or as a mom. Are you striking the right balance between love and discipline? Are you investing in your quality time, in quality time with your kids?

Are you being the role model [00:13:00] they need? Now here's the deep call to action guys, because I'm told us, but a call to action in every show, commit to being more engaged as a parent. Embrace the challenges, celebrate the joys, and keep learning from every experience. Your children are watching, learning, and growing, and your active involvement in their life is the greatest gift you can give them.

Tune into your heart, be the best parent you can be, and watch as the love you share with your children blooms into the legacy of happiness and success that will last for generations to come. As always be better tomorrow because what you do today, we'll see on the next one. This has been the fallible man podcast your home for everything man, husband, and father.

Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www. thefallibleman. com for more content and get your own fallible man gear.[00:14:00]