Navigating Relationships in the Digital Age

[00:00:00] We live in a world where our fingertips hold the power to connect us to people from all corners of the globe, which is a few taps of the screen we share with people around the world. We can find love, friendship, and countless other opportunities for connections. But with the power comes a new set of challenges, complexities, dangers, even maybe some uncertainties.

[00:00:21] How do we navigate relationships in this vast digital landscape? Well, that's what we're gonna explore today, so let's get into it.

[00:00:33] Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential? Growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's the big question in this podcast. We'll help you answer those questions and more.

[00:00:53] My name is Brent and welcome to the Album Man podcast.

[00:01:00] In this digital age, we often find ourselves caught between the realms of virtual and physical interactions. I mean, they're just, it's life these days, right? We form bonds with people we've never met, share our deepest thoughts with online communities, and invest our emotions in pixels and emojis. But is this digital connection a true reflection of reality?

[00:01:22] Or doesn't merely just kind of scratch the surface of the human connection? Now we ask ourselves valid questions, right? How can we foster authentic and vulnerable authenticity and vulnerability in a world that encourage us to be picture perfect? How can we ensure that our relationships thrive beyond screens and emojis?

[00:01:45] How do we foster meaningful relationships that transcend the digital world at all? Well, they're real concerns and real questions, but I don't think they're the right questions because all those questions can be answered really in one simple statement, but we're gonna come back to that. Before we get too much farther, welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things, man.

[00:02:09] A big shout out to the Fallible Nation. You guys help us keep making these shows and a warm welcome to our first time listeners. Hey, thanks for checking us out and taking the time to see what we're about. I hope you enjoy it. My name is Brent and I am the fallible man. Now, there's a lot to consider in the digital.

[00:02:28] World that we live in, and it's just crazy. But it's my observation, and you can disagree with me. You will see the technology is becoming a third wheel to most relationships. More often than not. You see it in every interaction between people these days. I mean, just take a look around where you are. I mean, obviously you're, if you're listening to this in the car, and it's probably not necessarily, but hey, it happens there too.

[00:02:52] I've seen entire families sitting in the same room, all playing on separate devices and even messaging each other from across the room instead of actually speaking. Countless families are ignoring each other at the dinner table, whether it's at home or even at restaurants and playing on their devices.

[00:03:08] I mean, look around the next time you go out to eat. It's kind of shocking. I've even seen barbecues and outdoor gatherings where people mostly are just touching screens instead of engaging with the other people There. Often we see people spending entire evenings at home just watching TV and touching other screens.

[00:03:28] It's kind of where our life is gone. It's a little disconcerting. I said earlier that I believe those questions are the wrong questions to be asked because the answer is the same for all of them. So let me ask and answer those questions. How can we foster authenticity and vulnerability in a world that encouraged us to be picture perfect?

[00:03:48] Right? Facebook real? And the answer is, we can't. Real relationships require real interactions with real people. How can we ensure that our relationships thrive beyond screens and emojis? Real relationships require real interactions. How can we foster meaningful relationships to the transcend the digital world?

[00:04:10] Once again, real relationships require real interaction. You can meet people online, you can talk to people online, but you can't foster a real relationship in a completely digital environment. Real interaction, real people. That's what's required. Parents can't parent completely digitally. Gosh, let's hope not.

[00:04:35] Marriages can't successfully exist completely In a digital world, friends can't be real friends completely. Digitally. Dating can't be healthy completely. Digitally. You need to be around people for relationships. In all these cases, you'll have a connect. You'll have to connect with a person sooner or later.

[00:04:58] In a more meaningful and real way. Sure, you can start digitally, you can meet people online. There's no doubt about that, but you have to have FaceTime, and I'm not talking about the Apple version. Preferably meet direct, in-person, real conversation with your voice. Physical interaction is actually critical to healthy relationships.

[00:05:22] We're born to connect with physical interaction, to read facial cues, to listen to voice tones, to pick up on smells and body language. So the important question is, how do we navigate relationships in a digital age? The real answer is go analog. Better yet, unplug your relationships entirely from the digital world.

[00:05:46] Now I'm not advocating for full on digital detox. You may need that in your life, but that's up to you. We strongly encourage some non-digital time in your life here at the Fallible Man that you unplug regularly. Because men thrive better offline than they do online. We are completely unrealistic. Though we, we know that the digital world is part of our life forever.

[00:06:14] You can utilize it with control or you can get sucked into it. Now, before we go any further, I wanted to share with you guys, I don't always tell you how much I love doing my podcast, like I passionately love what I'm doing and one of the things that makes my life better as a podcaster is to work with a company like Grow Your Show.

[00:06:37] Grow your show is a one-stop podcast. Do it all. Now I use Grow Your Show for my marketing, but Grow Your Show is literally a one-stop shop. You can record your episode and just drop it off with them and they take it from there. It's amazing. If you are interested in picking up podcasting as a hobby or maybe you're looking to expand your business and use podcasting that aspect, talk to my friends over Grow Your Show.

[00:06:58] Adam will take care of you. I guarantee it. I trust him. He's my friend. He's my business. Colleague and I wouldn't trust anybody else with my show to have a successful relationship with those around you that matter are in some cases, those you would like to have matter more in your life, right? The people you want to matter later on that you want to build these relationships with, you've gotta unplug.

[00:07:24] Healthy relationships require some in-person elements. So let me share with you a couple things that healthy relationships absolutely require. Number one is healthy relationships require eye contact. That has been said, the eyes of the window to the soul. That may be true, but your brain is actually hardwired to connect with people through the eyes.

[00:07:49] That's why you cannot make eye contact with some people for any real time without having some kind of reaction. Some people look away because they fear being seen. It makes them feel uncomfortable. Some people look away because they're uncomfortable about the intimacy involved with prolonged eye contact because that scene is a very intimate interaction.

[00:08:11] Whatever the reason that part's the key, prolonged eye contact creates a very intimate feeling unless you're just trying to straight stare somebody down. Then it's meant to infer some kind of menacing or danger, right? And I'm trying to stare that dude down. It's crazy what we can actually communicate with the eyes, but your brain needs it to make real connection and your brain reads it and translates it far beyond what you realize is actually happening.

[00:08:42] Number two, healthy relationships require physical touch. It might be a hug, it might be a handshake, or even a pat on the back. Don't mistake intimate touch for physical touch. High fives can have the same chemical reaction as a hug or high verbal praise. For some people, holding a hand can be a romantic gesture.

[00:09:05] It can also be supportive. It can be encouraging. It can calm fears and can, it can infer that I'm there with you. And, and just here to comfort you are dozens of other options. Probably more than that. Touch requires permission in any form, but is so critical in life that infants die without it because we're hardwired to have that physical connection.

[00:09:33] Number three, guys. Healthy relationships require smell. Right. This is the weird one. No one talks about sins and pheromones much. It isn't the thought, it's not thought of in a, in a pleasant way most of the time, right? We're we're thinking about, oh man, do I, do I stink? Your body sin changes often, not just because the day got really long.

[00:09:55] You didn't wear enough deodorant, or you worked really hard. Your smell changes with your mood, with your stress levels, with excitement, with fear. We've all heard that animals are that a certain animal can smell fear, right? Well, so can other people most just aren't really keyed into what that is. They don't know what that smell is, or they aren't sensitive enough to it to realize that that's actually what they're smelling, or that even the're smelling anything.

[00:10:21] It's incredibly subtle because it's a pheromone release that's usually below what most people can smell because we've just ruined our sense of smell. Most people have that person who they can describe that smell that brings safety and security, right? If you ask somebody about really meaningful people in their lives, a lot of 'em will actually describe a scent.

[00:10:42] Uh, you'll hear it talked about with grandparents, like, my great-grandfather or my grandfather smoked a pipe, and I associate that smell. I've heard other people described as always smelling, uh, in, in a negative way, right? We think one of my grandfathers always, uh, put on this. I think it was called Ben Gay.

[00:11:00] It's the stuff you rub in to help achy joints, right? Heats it up. Something like that. There are certain smells we associate with certain people who have major value in our minds. You might not have associated it all the time with people, but children do. My daughter's still sleeping my shirt from. This day forward, they've been sleeping in my shirt as long as I can remember.

[00:11:25] Now, it doesn't matter if it's a shirt from today or from yesterday, and sometimes it's my wife's shirt, but they sleep in our shirts because that smell of us creates a sense of security as they're going to sleep. It's actually better than a sleeping pill, and they don't generally sleep as well without 'em.

[00:11:41] Number four, healthy relationships require sound. This one cracks me up because as kids, we picked up really early on. The mom tone. If we're blessed to have our mother or another maternal figure step into our lives, we knew when Dow was at the, that's enough phase by his tone. The sound of someone's voice might have the power to settle your nerves, our laud sleep, not, not like the boring way of, you know that monotone guy who talks like this and it doesn't matter what he's, yeah, not that way, but, There are people who in your life, just the sound of their voice might actually lure you, lull you.

[00:12:26] I can't even say that word, into a relaxed state where it's easy to sleep. The sound of someone's voice might make you fearless. The sound of my father's voice cheering me on made me bulletproof growing up. Most people laugh because you can say a horrible thing to a dog in the right tone, and the dog's just like super happy and oh, well, guess what guys?

[00:12:48] We're not actually that. Different words matter, but the tone, the voice inflection and the way it's said are far more powerful than the words we're hardwired to pick up on all that, you can't do that even with digital age. Okay? I live in a digital world of voice. I'm a podcaster. It's what I do. My voice sounds different on this microphone, even though I have a very nice microphone than it does if I'm standing beside you and your brain knows it.

[00:13:22] Number five, healthy relationships require body language. Now, most of us have heard at some point in our lives, the old adage of 75, 80% of all communication is non-verbal. More and more research has proved that it's over 90%. I wanna say it's actually up to about 93% of communication. Go ahead. Fact, check me on that.

[00:13:45] It might be 90, I dunno. But 93% of communication is nonverbal. Guys, you can't do that from a keyboard. I, I come in from the era where keyboard warriors, that tone came outta my generation. You can't add body language behind a keyboard. I don't care how many emojis you put it beyond behind it, okay? You can put all the little angry emojis behind it that you want to, or.

[00:14:16] Sad little emoji. It doesn't have the same effect as body language. In this highly digital age, it's important to reevaluate our approach and start asking the right questions. True fulfilling relationships don't thrive solely in digital realm. In fact, they don't really. Thrive in a digital realm at all.

[00:14:39] They require genuine in-person connections. The digital world simply cannot provide us with the deep human connections that our brains are inherently wired for. Take a moment. Detach yourself from the virtual world and engage in real life experiences with the people you truly wanna build relationships with.

[00:14:58] That means real experiences in person together. Meaningful connections are forged through shared beliefs and experiences. It's these joint experiences that strengthen and solidify relationships, making them resilient and long lasting. Back in 1997, I know for some of you that's like really old, and for some of you you're like, huh, that wasn't long ago.

[00:15:21] Back in 1997, a movie came out and it was a landmark movie. We just didn't even know it then because it was the first collaboration of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon Aflac. Sorry, I always say Aflac for years, one quote just stuck with me and it's an amazing quote from Goodwill Cunning that just encapsulates the essence of this modern era characterized by a digitally dominated world.

[00:15:48] And when this conversation between Matt Damon and Robin Williams, if you guys haven't seen it, the language gets a little there. You don't wanna necessarily watch it with younger kids, but the movie actually has some really great insights in it. This, this conversation between Matt Damon and Robin Williams in what were both stellar performances for both actors.

[00:16:06] And let me set the scene a little here. Uh, Robin Williams is acting as a counselor psychiatrist for Matt Damon because he's got some issues and they have been pushing each other's button through the whole story. And finally, Robin Williams like has a adult moment and is like, wow, this kid is just pushing my buttons.

[00:16:30] Because Matt Damon's character is like genius level iq. He's just a brilliant young man with a huge attitude. And finally Robin Williams says, you know, if I asked you about art, you could give me a comprehensive rundown of every art book ever written. Probably Michelangelo. I bet you know a great deal about him.

[00:16:55] His life's works criticisms, political aspirations, but you couldn't describe the scent inside the Sistine Chapel. You've never stood there gazing up at that magnificent ceiling. While the digital world offers numerous enticing benefits, it cannot replace the authenticity of real life connections. It can't create real life relationships and connections.

[00:17:21] For us, it's only a meaning ground. It's somewhere where we can meet people, but it's not somewhere where we can build real relationships with them. Genuine relationships are formed through real life experiences, through real life face-to-face interaction. This realization may be both daunting and exhilarating because we have to get in person, which leaves us vulnerable.

[00:17:49] It leaves us exposed. People we let in can hurt us, but people we let in can also make our lives amazing ultimately. This highlights the profound beauty of human connections. Yeah, it, it's a risk to let people in. It's a risk to have real relationships because no one can hurt you more than those people you care about.

[00:18:13] But your life is not worth living without those deep, connected human interactions and connections. Unplug, step away from the matrix for a little while, guys. It's, it's not going anywhere at this day and age. It's really not going anywhere in 2023. It's here to stay. But the people you really want to connect with, the real relationships you want to have, they're not in the digital world.

[00:18:42] They're around you. They're in your world. And if you want them to stay in your world, you gotta step out of the screens, put down the phone, stop staring at your phones while you're talking to other people. Stop playing with your phone when you're at dinner with people who matter. And connect eye to eye, face-to-face.

[00:19:02] Real human beings, real senses. And I promise those are the relationships that will make your life worth living. And it'll last for a long time. Until next time, stay fallible. Be present. Keep striving for greatness. Unplug and above all, be better tomorrow because of what you do today. This has been The Fallible Man Podcast.

[00:19:26] Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www.thefallibleman.com for more content. And get your own valuable man here.