Kids in Crisis! | 6 TIPS for Parenting Your Kids in Difficult Situations

1 00:00:01,050 --> 00:00:05,050 No one wants their kids to have to deal with a massive crisis, but they're 2 00:00:05,050 --> 00:00:06,960 gonna have to, and you can help. 3 00:00:07,530 --> 00:00:11,430 As a parent, it's up to us to repair our kids to deal with these things. 4 00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:15,990 So we have to model that behavior and help them learn this while we safely have 5 00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:19,350 them with us, so that when they're on their own, they know how to deal with it. 6 00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:23,190 So on this episode of the Fallible Man podcast, we're gonna go 7 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,870 exactly through how that should go. 8 00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:25,710 So let's get. 9 00:00:27,465 --> 00:00:29,055 Here's the million dollar question. 10 00:00:29,535 --> 00:00:33,225 How do men like us reach our full potential and grow into the men we 11 00:00:33,225 --> 00:00:37,365 dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, 12 00:00:37,545 --> 00:00:42,015 being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? 13 00:00:42,915 --> 00:00:44,565 That's the question in this podcast. 14 00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:46,200 We'll help you with those answers. 15 00:00:46,230 --> 00:00:49,410 My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 16 00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:50,940 Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 17 00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:52,800 You're home for all things, man, husband, and father. 18 00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:54,090 Big shout out to Fallible Nation. 19 00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:56,220 A warm welcome to our first time listeners. 20 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,680 My name is Brent and I am the fallible man. 21 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,650 We never wanna see our kids go through difficult times. 22 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:06,720 If we could protect them from every bump in the road, we would, sadly, crisis do 23 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:11,070 happen, and you're gonna have to dig deep to help your kids through difficult times. 24 00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:13,300 Thankfully, kids are really resilient. 25 00:01:13,765 --> 00:01:15,525 There are ways to help them through this. 26 00:01:15,615 --> 00:01:19,515 So I want you to consider trying these six methods to help 27 00:01:19,515 --> 00:01:21,135 your family cope with crisis. 28 00:01:21,855 --> 00:01:23,175 Number one is don't hide it. 29 00:01:23,865 --> 00:01:28,095 Kids are so much smarter than we often give 'em credit for when things are 30 00:01:28,095 --> 00:01:31,335 going wrong in our world, they know it. 31 00:01:31,995 --> 00:01:34,035 I mean, don't, don't pretend they, they get it. 32 00:01:34,545 --> 00:01:36,945 Sometimes they're aware of it before we are. 33 00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:40,995 The problem is the things they don't understand can be puzzling and scary. 34 00:01:42,105 --> 00:01:47,940 Some kids, Can tend to over worry making the situation seem even worse to them. 35 00:01:48,929 --> 00:01:53,009 Here's where it's smart to let them in on it when it's happening, but in terms 36 00:01:53,009 --> 00:01:57,330 they understand it's okay to tell them the basics like mommy's sick, but she'll 37 00:01:57,335 --> 00:01:59,910 be fine without giving too much detail. 38 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,300 This allows 'em to put a name on what's happening around them, 39 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,890 which makes them feel safer and more secure with what's going on. 40 00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:09,120 And that's a good start. 41 00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:11,100 Number two, you need to set. 42 00:02:12,555 --> 00:02:16,315 Here's where having kids know what's going on can prove challenging. 43 00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:21,465 Children tend to personalize things and internalize it, so they might 44 00:02:21,465 --> 00:02:26,115 think it's their fault when something bad is going on, because that's just 45 00:02:26,175 --> 00:02:27,525 the world from their perspective. 46 00:02:28,395 --> 00:02:31,575 Here's where you need to step in as a parent and set some firm boundaries. 47 00:02:32,565 --> 00:02:35,475 This is a problem, but it's not their problem. 48 00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:36,615 It's not their fault. 49 00:02:36,975 --> 00:02:39,585 It's not theirs to worry about or to solve. 50 00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:42,750 It's not them. 51 00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:45,270 What's going on is outside of their control. 52 00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:48,780 You have to help them understand they're not responsible for fixing it. 53 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,610 Number three, teach your kids valuable skills. 54 00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:59,280 Kids in crisis will feel the stress of the situation, but may, may not 55 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,140 have the skills to cope with it yet. 56 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,450 Here's where you need to step in. 57 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,760 Help them learn how to breathe. 58 00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:12,030 Or maybe even meditate to find that calm again, if they're struggling, 59 00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:15,150 consider counseling as professionals. 60 00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:19,380 Have a lot more in their toolkit than you might to if it needs to go that far. 61 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:23,100 Or you know, sometimes you just need to have open conversations 62 00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:26,460 about how to deal with your emotions and your feelings, right? 63 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:31,890 As parents, we should be modeling those things anyways, so teacher kids. 64 00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:37,500 How to bring down everything into perspective, how to bring down all 65 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:40,019 the emotion and settle into it. 66 00:03:42,075 --> 00:03:44,325 Learning to be calm in the crisis is really important. 67 00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:47,325 One thing I usually don't share is how impactful the podcast 68 00:03:47,325 --> 00:03:48,435 has been for me personally. 69 00:03:49,065 --> 00:03:52,035 There's a lot I love and appreciate because I have the podcast. 70 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:54,615 I become somebody who can approach people easier. 71 00:03:54,645 --> 00:03:57,045 I have a better network of people to call upon when I need 'em. 72 00:03:57,495 --> 00:04:01,215 I get to meet new people all the time from all walks of life and all over the 73 00:04:01,215 --> 00:04:05,665 globe and connect with 'em at a deeper level, and I have a voice to do what I. 74 00:04:06,390 --> 00:04:10,020 I'm always put into situations where I'm having to stretch and learn something new. 75 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:13,020 I've really grown as a person and a professional since I started doing 76 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,890 my podcast, and that was even before my show really started growing. 77 00:04:17,820 --> 00:04:21,089 I hired a company called Grow Your Show, who's our sponsor, by the way, 78 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:22,980 and I wanted to share them with you. 79 00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:26,159 The owner, Adam, has one of the very best podcasts for teaching 80 00:04:26,159 --> 00:04:27,570 you how to be a podcaster. 81 00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:29,190 I honestly wish I had found it. 82 00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:33,510 One thing that they've done to help me is to bring me to a much larger 83 00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:36,659 listener base so that my voice is being heard around the world. 84 00:04:37,169 --> 00:04:40,650 There's a good chance, in fact that they helped us connect, but they 85 00:04:40,650 --> 00:04:42,599 also do editing and post-production. 86 00:04:43,140 --> 00:04:46,500 They can even help you launch and start your podcast, which could 87 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:49,590 really help you in your business or whatever you're trying to achieve. 88 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,200 So I just wanted to give them a quick shout out. 89 00:04:52,289 --> 00:04:55,979 I love to share great people and companies that I believe in, that I use person. 90 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,729 So that's Grow Your show@growyourshow.com. 91 00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:03,450 I have a link in the show notes, and if you have a podcast or you wanna start 92 00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:06,750 a podcast or you're thinking about it, just scroll down there, click that 93 00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:08,820 link and go work with my friend Adam. 94 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,080 He's gonna treat you right. 95 00:05:10,169 --> 00:05:13,409 Next thing I want to offer you is to get emotional. 96 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:17,849 Children don't always have a name for what they're feeling. 97 00:05:18,989 --> 00:05:22,229 They feel confused and frustrated, leaning them to act out. 98 00:05:22,935 --> 00:05:26,955 When there's a crisis, it's important to encourage your child to talk about their 99 00:05:26,955 --> 00:05:32,534 feelings, and for you to step outta your comfort zone and help them understand 100 00:05:32,534 --> 00:05:36,855 the things they can't label by being vulnerable and openly emotional with them. 101 00:05:38,415 --> 00:05:39,555 Let them sit down. 102 00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:43,965 Give them a environment where you can let them share their emotions, 103 00:05:43,965 --> 00:05:45,045 what they're feeling about it. 104 00:05:45,495 --> 00:05:45,915 You know what? 105 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:49,365 It's okay to share your emotions, and that will help them as well. 106 00:05:49,935 --> 00:05:54,344 That will encourage them, that will make them feel more secure about dealing with 107 00:05:54,344 --> 00:05:58,965 their emotions, negative and positive at the time, if you're willing to open up 108 00:05:58,965 --> 00:06:00,615 and be vulnerable about your emotions. 109 00:06:01,545 --> 00:06:03,255 I, I try and share with my kids all the time. 110 00:06:03,255 --> 00:06:05,940 It's like, I'm not uncomfortable. 111 00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:07,350 I'm, I'm not comfortable with this. 112 00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:11,940 This makes me uncomfortable, so I'm, I'm struggling with this moment, right? 113 00:06:11,970 --> 00:06:15,720 I have some social anxiety with large crowds, and so I've been very 114 00:06:15,725 --> 00:06:19,800 open about that with my kids so they understand when they see me frustrated, 115 00:06:20,490 --> 00:06:25,050 are uncomfortable, they understand my emotion, which also allows them 116 00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:28,650 to deal with their emotions when they have things that are uncomfortable. 117 00:06:30,930 --> 00:06:33,630 The next one I wanna throw out for your consideration is to listen. 118 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:40,230 I don't have a great deal to say about this because you can't go into there. 119 00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:43,620 There are some things that just speak for themselves, but perhaps the most important 120 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:47,670 thing you can do to help your child during a crisis situation is to listen. 121 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,110 Let them talk about anything and everything as this is 122 00:06:52,115 --> 00:06:53,490 part of how they process. 123 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,650 They may not understand the emotion. 124 00:06:55,860 --> 00:07:00,840 You may get the spaghetti ping pong conversation, but let him. 125 00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:04,050 They feel like they're getting out. 126 00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:07,830 They feel like they're sharing and contributing and being part of it, 127 00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:14,160 and sometimes they just need to talk to, give them some comfort to 128 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,290 bring the situation back to a norm. 129 00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:18,810 Kinda like meditating or deep breaths, right? 130 00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:23,340 Sometimes they just need to let that chatter go to feel okay about what's 131 00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:25,210 happening around them, and that's okay. 132 00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:29,118 Final one I wanna share with you guys is, Right. 133 00:07:29,508 --> 00:07:31,038 Kids need some normalcy. 134 00:07:31,688 --> 00:07:34,278 Kids need to feel like the world's gonna be okay. 135 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,408 So everybody needs a break. 136 00:07:36,618 --> 00:07:38,058 Everybody needs time to relax. 137 00:07:38,148 --> 00:07:40,368 Kids especially need time to play and be kids. 138 00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:45,798 So even in a time of crisis are difficulties, please reassure 139 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,148 them it's still okay to do this. 140 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,098 Better yet, go join 'em. 141 00:07:49,458 --> 00:07:49,848 You know what? 142 00:07:49,908 --> 00:07:53,898 Nothing will get you through a stressful time, like going and spending 143 00:07:53,898 --> 00:07:55,188 some time playing with your kids. 144 00:07:55,938 --> 00:07:57,318 It's therapeutic for you. 145 00:07:57,318 --> 00:08:00,738 It's therapeutic for them, and it's absolutely one of the best 146 00:08:00,738 --> 00:08:02,058 things that you can do for 'em. 147 00:08:02,958 --> 00:08:03,888 Go out and play. 148 00:08:04,308 --> 00:08:06,228 I understand difficult things are happening. 149 00:08:07,188 --> 00:08:08,088 Go play anyways. 150 00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:09,498 Your kids will feel better. 151 00:08:09,558 --> 00:08:11,748 You'll feel better, and your whole family will connect better. 152 00:08:12,918 --> 00:08:19,128 Now guys, I wanted to share with you as I do on the week, a user review user, 153 00:08:19,438 --> 00:08:23,688 I'm, I'm not even trying to pronounce this, they, it's c and a bunch. 154 00:08:24,618 --> 00:08:27,408 Icons, but five star review. 155 00:08:27,408 --> 00:08:28,338 Really great work. 156 00:08:28,398 --> 00:08:30,498 I was so thrilled to listen to the show and learn. 157 00:08:30,498 --> 00:08:34,008 To my surprise, it's a really great resource for men who wanna 158 00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:37,338 live a full life, but also many of the tips extend to anyone. 159 00:08:37,338 --> 00:08:42,438 It's not just exclusionary by any, it's not exclusionary by any means. 160 00:08:42,498 --> 00:08:43,548 It's really great work. 161 00:08:44,448 --> 00:08:45,918 Uh, thank you so much. 162 00:08:45,948 --> 00:08:49,248 I wish I could actually like call out your name, but there's no way to pronounce. 163 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:55,203 Your reviews mean so much to us and help us be more visible and reach more 164 00:08:55,203 --> 00:08:57,693 people, and I'm just really grateful. 165 00:08:57,693 --> 00:09:02,223 I never, I, I read these reviews guys, and I am just so in awe 166 00:09:02,223 --> 00:09:03,783 and grateful for each one of you. 167 00:09:03,783 --> 00:09:06,213 It means so much to hear your feedback on the work. 168 00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:07,833 So thank you for sharing that. 169 00:09:07,833 --> 00:09:11,673 And guys, if you need some help conquering your goals or dealing with relationships 170 00:09:11,673 --> 00:09:14,703 in your life and other things going on in your family, we're here for. 171 00:09:15,498 --> 00:09:18,798 We're here to help you conquer goals, build plans, and seek 172 00:09:18,798 --> 00:09:20,118 the life that you wanna live. 173 00:09:20,538 --> 00:09:25,188 You can find me@thefallibleman.com slash coaching schedule the discovery 174 00:09:25,188 --> 00:09:28,068 call with me to work with me directly if you need some one-on-one work. 175 00:09:28,548 --> 00:09:31,818 We're also starting to set up group coaching sessions, so guys. 176 00:09:32,018 --> 00:09:33,008 Schedule some time. 177 00:09:33,278 --> 00:09:33,848 Let's talk. 178 00:09:34,118 --> 00:09:35,468 I may not be the best choice for you. 179 00:09:35,468 --> 00:09:39,398 I may be perfect to work with you, but let's talk and let's see if we can get 180 00:09:39,398 --> 00:09:40,718 you lined up with the right people. 181 00:09:41,078 --> 00:09:42,038 Hopefully that's me. 182 00:09:42,338 --> 00:09:45,458 I'd love to walk alongside you as you make that stretch in your life 183 00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:46,838 to become the man you want to be. 184 00:09:47,948 --> 00:09:50,288 Until next time, thanks for listening. 185 00:09:50,293 --> 00:09:52,058 Be better tomorrow because of what you do today. 186 00:09:52,478 --> 00:09:53,288 We'll see you on the next show. 187 00:09:54,848 --> 00:09:57,338 This has been The Fallible Man Podcast. 188 00:09:57,938 --> 00:10:00,818 Your home for everything, man, husband, and. 189 00:10:02,073 --> 00:10:04,383 Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. 190 00:10:05,253 --> 00:10:11,583 Head over to www.thefallibleman.com for more content and get 191 00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:13,113 your own Fallible man gear.