Embracing the ”Bad Guy” Role as a Parent!

[00:00:00] I love a good movie. I like movies with twists and turns that are unpredictable and for me that's kind of difficult. As a lifelong devoted movie nerd of epic proportions, it takes a lot to surprise me in a movie anymore. One of my favorite twists though in movies is when bad guys really actually turn out to be...

So, Harry Potter spoilers ahead. If you haven't been through the whole series or you care, you've been warned. You should pause or stop now. Okay. Ready? One of the best kept movie secrets in history was the twist at the end of the Harry Potter series. When Professor Snape, who was a pain, and you always suspected the guy, turned out to be more than even just a good guy, he actually turned out that he had been protecting Harry for the entirety of his life out of devotion to Harry's mom, Lily.

Rumor has it that none of the [00:01:00] cast was even aware of this little twist, except for the late, great Alan Rickman, who played Snape, and it was strictly a secret between J. K. Rowling and him. Right? I mean, I, I love the Harry Potter series. I read the books and it's the only reason I knew about that twist. It wasn't easy for Snape to be the bad guy all the time, we find out.

Especially if you've read the books opposed to just the movies. But he did what was necessary. Parents have to be the bad guy every now and then. If you haven't yet, you, you will. That's okay. That's part of parenting. And you're not really the bad guy, but sometimes you're cast that way. So let's get into it.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential growing the men we dream [00:02:00] of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's the big question. In this podcast, we'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast.

My youngest daughter wanted to stay home the other day instead of going to basketball practice with her sister. While she's not actively playing basketball this season, she actually played last season, she plans to play next season, she took a year off to do soccer. But she enjoys basketball just like my older daughter.

It wasn't her practice though, but she usually goes and hangs out with her sister and shoots hoops and stuff like that. What she really actually wanted was to be able to watch the movies she wanted to and have the TV all to herself while I was busy working. My youngest is a little too attached to screen sometimes, and it's something I'm working on with her.

And with her [00:03:00] homeschooling, she's actually in front of a computer a lot more because she does a lot of her work on a laptop. Just like adults spend a lot of time in front of the computers. So I made her go and I was the bad guy because she went, she ran, played, and even got to practice with her older sister's team, which she thought was pretty cool since she does play to get to play with a team that is two or three grade levels.

Gotta stop and count two grade levels over what she actually is. It gives her a better experience and it'll help you be a better player going forward. For me, she also slept better because she got the activity that she needed for the day because I was thinking about her day when I was making that decision and realized she had not been physically as active as she should have been.

And so when for me, she slept better, she felt better at the night. It was a win win, but I had to be the bad guy. [00:04:00] By the way, my name is Brent and welcome to the Foul Ball Man podcast. You're home for all things man. Big shout out to Foul Ball Nation, that's our private community, and you'll find more about that in the description or the show notes, depending on what platform you're on.

And a warm welcome to our first time listeners. Hey, thanks for checking us out. There's a lot out there fighting for your attention, and we really appreciate you taking the time to see what we're about. Love to hear what you thought in the comments are in wherever you can find me everywhere on social media.

Let us know what you think of the show. I'd love to hear what your thoughts are. And as always, Hey, we love reviews. So if you want to leave us review, if you get something out of this, that would be really cool to leave us review on whatever platform that really helps us reach more people. If you listen to the show regularly, then you may know I have a huge disdain for parents who want to be their kid's friends.

More so than they actually want to wear the parent hat, right? Put on the parent hat. No, your kid has friends. If you weren't previously aware, now you know. I really [00:05:00] have a big chip on my shoulder about that whole concept. It's one of the worst trends in parenting ever. Let's be really clear. When I say bad guy, there are air quotes every single time I use the word bad guy in this show.

The fact is if you're a good parent, sooner or later your kid is gonna want to do something stupid. Just a fact of kids growing up and they will see you as the bad guy When you stop them because they don't get it yet Part of our parent job as a parent is sometimes to be the killjoy or the bad guy It's just a fact of parenting now.

I know none of us want to be that way We've gathered wisdom experience and insights throughout our lives as children and now into our adult lives That our children have not It's our job to pass these pieces of knowledge on to our [00:06:00] children. They inevitably will make choices, have ideas, and have desires that occur along their path that are not good for them.

You were a kid, you know, okay? You know. And they will not understand why you have to say no sometimes. They will not understand why they can't do certain things, not because they're insolent, not because they're disrespectful, not because they're trying to challenge you or piss you off or just make your life hard, but because they are younger than you and they haven't reached that life experience yet and just don't know better.

It's that old adage when your mom asked you, Hey, if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you? I was the kid who definitely would. Like, but we did a lot of that kind of thing when I was a kid, but they were small bridges, you know, railroad bridges over rivers and stuff, [00:07:00] but we did crazy things and I don't think those things were bad.

However, I know that I made stupid choices throughout my life. I know I asked my parents for permission to do things that made perfect sense to me at 11, at 15, at eight, pick an age. And they were stupid things. I didn't know they were stupid just because I didn't have that life experience yet. I hadn't gained that level of wisdom, right?

The easiest example of this, we know early on, we have to tell our children not to put their hands on things that will burn them. Boiling hot tea kettles. I've seen that one happen, right? We all think of the stove, right? The glowing element on the stove, because it's glowing. The kids like, Ooh, [00:08:00] right. And they reach for it.

That's a foregone conclusion, but what about that boiling tea kettle? Right? We have an electric tea kettle cause my wife likes tea. And so we like, cause it boils water fast. We also have a stovetop tea kettle. Guess what hot pans? Yeah, really had to watch those little hands didn't make any sense to them.

It held the hot stuff It wasn't the hot stuff, right? We know as Teenagers, they're gonna ask to do things. They're gonna have to go to parties or events They shouldn't go to or think they're older than they are and want to do things that are over their age level You're a parent and you're going to have to be the bad guy.

Why? Because they just don't know. It's not always fun to be the bad guy. Now I won't lie. I'm not one of those parents. There are moments is actually, yeah, it's definitely a little bit of fun. I love the eye roll. I love the, yeah, it kind of cracks me up sometimes. Not all the time [00:09:00] when, when it's becoming an attitude issue, then it really kind of gets to me, but.

There are times, it is a little bit of fun, but it's not always fun to be the bad guy. In fact, a lot of times, it's really not fun to be the bad guy. It will be difficult, because sometimes, well, let me rephrase that. It will be difficult sometimes, comma. You're going to want to give them everything you can, and many of the things you can't.

You naturally want your kids to have more, do more, experience more, and be better than you. It's the natural state of being a good parent. Not being willing to be the bad guy? The bad guy, right? It's a surefire way to make sure that never happens. Well, some days it's going to seem harder than others and your kids will certainly make it harder on you sometimes.[00:10:00]

Trust me. There are times that saying no is so hard. Being the bad guy is so hard. You look up on those little eyes or down in those little eyes and you're just like, Oh, it's killing you inside to have to say no. There are a lot of things you're going to have to say no and be the bad guy about for their own good.

Remember if they're lashing out, they're lashing out out of ignorance without even knowing that that's what's happening is them lashing out. They're just angry. Sometimes it depends on the age and they don't understand why they're lashing out. And even as teenagers, they won't always understand why you have to say no.

You can try and explain it to them. And I highly encourage that as a parent, as your kids become more and more mature and more and more intelligent. I highly recommend having some of those conversations and [00:11:00] explaining the no's. So that way it's not just a no, which makes them want to be defiant, but they actually understand what you're trying to protect them from why you got to say no, but they're going to lash out some, especially at the younger times.

When they don't understand, be the parent you're meant to be set hard boundaries when needed set soft boundaries. When needed say no, when necessary know that while they may think you're the bad guy, the bad guy, right? Sometimes the best stories, the bad guy is the hero later in the story. And as a parent, I promise setting those boundaries and saying no, when you need to, to take care of your kids.

Makes you the hero in their story. Later on. Thanks for hanging out today. Be better tomorrow because what you do today, and we'll see on the next one. This has been the fallible man podcast. [00:12:00] You're home for everything, man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe. So you don't miss a show head over to www.

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