Crush Your Goals The Proven Four Stage Blueprint for Success

Crush Your Goals The Proven Four Stage Blueprint for Success

D Brent Dowlen: [00:00:00] How is it Some people crush their goals and the majority of people don't. In fact, over 80% of people don't actually achieve their goals. The problem isn't that someone is just more gifted than you or smarter than you. The difference is that you were not taught how to succeed achieving your goals necessarily.

I mean, personally for me, nothing I learned in general education taught me anything I needed to know about achieving my goals. The closest I got to advice on achieving my goals in school was. It takes hard work. That's air quotes for all of you listening, right? That is the best, best advice I got as far as actually achieving the goals in my life is it will take hard work.

Well, yes, it absolutely will, but no one actually taught you the skills, the techniques, the knowledge. To achieve your goals. They taught you basic education and while I didn't go to college, I've met enough college graduates to know that [00:01:00] unless you took really specific courses, this was probably not what you were taught as well.

So let me ask you, what would you like to achieve? For you or for you and your family. Now I'm not talking about some blanket statement about how you'd like to be rich. Hey, me too. I wanna be rich too, right? We all dream of winning that Powerball. No, I'm, I mean, what do you actually want to achieve in the real world in front of you?

What would move the needle for you in your life? Do you want a better job, maybe some higher pay at the job you're at, or with another job? I. You want better relationships with your wife or with your kids, or both. Maybe you wanna take back some of your time. Now, that's usually accomplished by a better pay rate, which goes to the first couple things.

But maybe you wanna start a side business, a side hustle, whatever you wanna call it, or an actual business. Maybe you wanna write a book, maybe you wanna become a YouTuber. I don't know. What would [00:02:00] move the needle for you? What is that goal that you want to achieve? Well, one thing that will absolutely help you is getting a better night's sleep.

And right now our sponsor, Mike Lindell, and his employees over at MyPillow, wanna personally thank you for your continued support at MyPillow and they're gonna help you out with that achieving goals by offering you a discount to help you sleep better. They have a big allotment of their bedsheets that were earmarked for the box stores this spring well.

Big surprise. The box stores being very corporate, they did it again and the box stores didn't come through, so now they're gonna pass the savings onto you. There's no middleman, so you're gonna get wholesale prices on their famous Giza Dream sheets, which is what I sleep on, and their per cow bed sleep sheets, Giza Dream Queen Size sheets, normally 139.98.

Your wholesale price, 69.99. And guys, these are nice sheets. King size sheets only [00:03:00] 79. Nine nine. That's what's on my bed right now. You can go check out my review for that per Cal Queen set normally 89 9 8. Your wholesale price today, 29 9 8 king size only 34 98. So go to my pillow.com and use promo code Thrive.

Yep. Super original. Thrive or call 1-800-794-FIVE 8 3 4. Free shipping options are available right now. This allotment isn't gonna last long. This happens periodically when they have a big box store cancel on them. So when they're gone, they're gone. So remember, go to mypillow.com, use promo code. Thrive or call.

Our number 807 9 4 5 8 3 4 to give these amazing wholesale offers. Now, let's go back to our show. And by the way, welcome to The Driven to Thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men. I'm your host, Brent Ballon, and we help men go from living to thriving [00:04:00] purpose field, intentional lives.

Now, when it comes to setting goals, there's actually a process to go through that will help make sure that you actually achieve those goals. So we're gonna break this into four stages. So stage one is ideation, right? You're deciding what goals you're going to create, go after what goals are important to you.

Number one, in ideation. You gotta start with why. As my old business coach used to like to say the why behind the why Behind the why behind the why. That's how deep you gotta go in this. You can't have surface level why's and think you're going to. Achieve your goals. I wanna be rich. Why? Because I wanna be rich.

Nope, not gonna get you there guys. You gotta go deeper than that because when things get hard, when the days get long, when, when you're really putting in the effort and you're tired, that why has gotta hold up to the storm. The second thing in that ideation phase is you gotta find out [00:05:00] what your North star metric is.

Now, you may not be familiar with the term North Star metric, so we'll cover that, but applying North Star Metric our NSM to your personal goals involves identifying one overarching measure that captures the core outcome you want to achieve in your life. Instead of trying to juggle a bunch of disconnected goals all at once.

Your focus needs to be on a single metric that best represents the progress in a chosen choosing chosen area. So that might be you're focusing on relationships or health, or your finances as a gym coach or personal trainer, however you wanna say that, right? This is the conversation I have with my clients.

Do you want to focus on weight loss? Do you wanna focus on strength? Do you wanna focus on bodybuilding type growth? What is your actual goal? Because you will not get there near as quickly as you're like, I wanna work on everything. Everybody wants to work on everything. That's just a fact. But if you [00:06:00] focus on one particular region of your life at a time, then you're much likely to get there at a much quicker rate.

So ask yourself, what is the one thing that if consistently improved, will make the biggest positive difference in my life? To function as a guiding metric, it's gotta be something that can be measured. If your primary aim is to write a novel, your North Star metric might be words written per day. If you want to improve your relationships with somebody, perhaps your North Star metric will be quality hours spent with that person.

Each week you'll use it to make decisions and when deciding what to do next. Saying yes or no to something, or whether to start a new habit or give something up. Your North Star metric will help you because you can ask, will this help me increase or improve my North Star metric? If the answer is no, it becomes very easy.

If it's yes, then you know it's [00:07:00] something you might look into pursuing. The start. Third part of that is to set two or three large smart goals. Now, if you don't know what smart goals are, if you've not heard that term or if you're new to the show, 'cause I've talked about it several times, smart goals are defined as it's an acronym specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timely, or time bound, however you wanna say that.

Uh, some people aren't familiar with, with timely. Parkinson's law states that work expands to fill an allotted time. So set tighter deadlines than you might think are possible to force sufficiency, right? That's just a really snotty way of saying if you give yourself three months, it's gonna take three months.

If you give yourself a month and a half, well you may not get there, but you're gonna be a whole lot clo closer than if you've given yourself a whole three months. So why only two or three goals? Because each one of these smart [00:08:00] goals is a big goal. This isn't like the small little action, like this is the big goal.

So this might be, I want to get a better job, I want to make more money. I want to lose weight. Those are bigger goals. That's what this smart goal is. Now, as specific as measurable is achievable, it's relevant, right? That's that north star metric thing, and it's. You can set a timeframe, but what's gonna happen is you only wanna set two or three because each one's gonna have several substeps or smaller goals involved in building that one goal.

And so all of a sudden, if you get bigger than that, you have way too many things going on and nothing ever gets done. Now all those smaller goals and these smart goals are going to align with that North Star metric, which is your guiding star. That's why they call it a North Star metric. Throughout this process, but only set two or three [00:09:00] larger smart goals.

And then we're gonna break 'em down even further. And by all all, let me throw this out. For God's sake, please write them down and review them regularly. This alone, like we have numerous studies that prove this alone actually increases your chance of success by over 45%. Really? That is a scientific fact.

Not like trust the science kind of science, but actual scientific fi fact. Just writing down your goals, actually writing them down and putting them where you can see them and review them on a regular basis increases your chances of success by 45% by just writing them down. So write them down once you've established them, while you're establishing them, you need to define what done looks like.

Right, clearly define the success criteria for those goals. Before starting those goals, you have to have alignment and clarity [00:10:00] to understand how this looks when it's done. If you don't have a clear understanding of what it looks like and what done looks like them, then. It's gonna hurt you in trying to finish that task effectively.

So you have to define done before you ever start. What does it mean when I successfully lose this weight? Is that that means I'm down to X weight. That means I look like this. Right? You have to define what done looks like and the final step to this. Yeah, I know it's a lot ideation phase. Is the not to do list.

Now, this is a me special. I'm not the only one who thinks this, but this is something I talk about a lot. What you don't do is just as important as what you do do. Most people fail at goals, not because they don't want to do them, but because they don't make space in their life to achieve them. [00:11:00] You're busy as humans.

We're busy. I don't know anybody who's not actually busy. So because you're busy, you've got a lot of stuff that's air quotes for all of you listening that are filling your schedule and taking time, and it's incredible how much stuff people have. One of the hardest parts of achieving goals not. Getting waylaid by all the distractions and busyness that we fill our lives with.

There's something about our society where we think if we show that we are busy, then we're important or we're valuable. And so we tend to just fill our lives up, all the empty space with stuff. Maybe I'll start calling that Brent's law, like the Parkinson's law. Can we call that Brent's Law? Let's, let's field test that.

Let's call this Brent's Law. Brent's law is you'll fill all the empty space in your life with pointless [00:12:00] stuff if you don't set aside that time for something specific. So start dumping your bad habits and distractions and set boundaries for yourself. I'm not gonna waste four hours every night, Netflixing, chilling.

I'm not gonna spend two hours every night gaming unless it's making me money. Right? Set those. Standards and boundaries and get rid of the stuff. It's not actually doing anything for you. So you have room in your life to achieve these new plans. Now, stage two, we're in the planning stage right now. We've gone through the ideation stage, understanding your why, figuring out what your North Star metric is.

Picking those two or three large smart goals, defining what done looks like for those and creating that really important Bris law not to do list. That's all ideation. That's before we start, right? That's just we're getting the ideas [00:13:00] together. Now we're going to the planning stage, and the planning stage starts with project management.

Now if you are not a project manager, I understand that not everybody has a background in project management. Some of us do. Some people don't. Some people do, and they don't even realize they do, but right. Project management is really over complicated by everybody else. So let me tell you what project management really is, is taking a big goal and breaking it down into the smallest possible bite-sized pieces.

Of smaller task to build towards that big goal, and those become little goals that build towards that big goal. That's what project management is. Anybody who tells you more is lying. I've had project certifications. Really, project management is as simple as, here's this big thing. If you've ever helped plan a wedding, you've done project management.

Here's this big thing we want to accomplish. [00:14:00] Now we gotta put together the guest list and book the venue and book the venue for the after party, whatever you call it, the reception. We have to find the dress, we have to find a place, right? Those are all little pieces that go together for a wedding. That's project management in the most basic sense of the word.

And that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna take those big two or three smart goals now that we have. We're going to break those into bite-sized little pieces that we can knock off the list one at a time. Now, once you break down, because if you have a big smart goal, you might have 10 to 40 small little pieces that you break that into.

Once you break it into little pieces, you're going to filter those pieces through this criteria.

Sorry, this is thirsty work. We're gonna start with goal shielding. This is taught [00:15:00] to Navy Seals. It's also called the CEE Framework. CEE. Of course, I like acronyms is critical, essential enhancing. Now, when you're looking at those goals, one of the things we happen to do. Because we are people and we don't wanna miss something, is we overcomplicate the crap out of everything.

And so what you wanna do is take those smaller pieces and you wanna label them what pieces are critical, what pieces are essential, what pieces are just enhancing the Final PAL product. Look at those enhancing things as they're little spit and polish. Okay. Enhancing is an important right now. So if it doesn't fall into the first two critical or essential, we're gonna throw 'em out the window because right now we're not looking for perfect.

We're not looking for that final, shiny, finished project [00:16:00] product we're looking for what actually has to happen for you to achieve those goals. A lot of times people get lost in enhancing steps. Uh, for YouTubers, that'd be like, you know, what camera, what microphone do I need? Right? These are enhancing steps to shoot a YouTube video.

You need a cell phone. That's all you need. But we get into these enhancing steps. My productions have been called. Very professional when I'm recording with a, uh, guest. Why? Because I've been doing this for several years, so I have a lot of enhancing things that came after I started recording, right?

They're not things that are absolutely crucial for me to record this podcast. They're things I've enhanced. After I did the critical and essential steps and started recording and started doing this show. 350 some odd episodes to go if it doesn't fall into the first two, shelf it for later when [00:17:00] it's actually done, and then you want to add some spit and polish, right?

So that's the first criteria. We're going to filter those planning steps under. The second one is to automate or outsource anything and everything you can. This is a new concept that I've learned in the last two years. And it's something that I wanna share with you because I believe it'll actually really help you along the way because we live in a world of automation technology, and it's an exciting time.

It really is because your time is the most valuable thing you have. So the fact that we can outsource and automate, and maybe you're thinking outsource. I can't outsource, I can't afford that. You know what? I'm right there with you. I have a friend who's got a virtual assistant who does all his editing.

Right now, I'm somebody's virtual assistant, not really a virtual assistant. I'm a podcast producer for several other shows because they outsource that editing to me, right? I'm not at a point where I can [00:18:00] afford to do that yet they are, but that doesn't mean I can't outsource other things in my life, and you can too.

Now if you can outsource or automate small and repetitive tasks that are really below your pay grade, so to say, right, they're not so complicated, they need your direct attention, then you absolutely should. And this is a secret. This is a well guarded secret for very successful people, for example. I wanted to learn the finer points of a YouTube video earlier today, but I didn't really have time to sit through a 40 minute YouTube video.

I love the person who makes those videos. I'm a subscriber to their channel. They came out with a new video today and I really was excited about it, but I didn't have time to listen to the whole 40 minutes, and I knew that would distract me. 'cause I am easily distracted, know it's hard to believe. And so what did I do?

I didn't need the deep explanation of the 20 points the person [00:19:00] wanted to make. So I grabbed the YouTube or URL and chucked it into chat GPT and told chat GPT to give me the finer points, the high points, and the timestamps for each of the 20 things. Now I have a list on a Word document, or actually it's in my, uh.

Notes notion. I use Notion a lot and I highly recommend Notion. I'm not affiliated, but I highly recommend. Notion has helped me get organized, but I threw it into chat, GPT, and I said, give me these points that they're talking about and the timestamp. So if I need a deeper explanation of any of those 20 points, I have the timestamp and I can just jump to that segment, right?

I automated my learning by shortening. The amount of time it took me to see what knowledge was being shared and what I needed to know about it. [00:20:00] Hint, you could do that with this YouTube video. If you're a chat g PT user or some other great AI that I don't use, now I know what the main points are and I can go look them up later.

That's one experience. Uh, one. Example of automating part of my day. Now here's another example, right? This one should be a little easier for you. I don't mow my own lawn. My time is too limited. The price I cha charge for my time is too high, and my time is more expensive than the value of mowing my lawn.

So this is one of the things that I delegate to my child because it is a chore she can do as a contributing member of the family. Yes, I think kids should have some responsibilities. I don't overload my kids with chores, but I do think they should have some responsibilities. This is one of them that I can outsource to my daughter [00:21:00] because it's 45 minutes of my week to an hour of my week.

I could do things that actually need my attention. My lawn is not high on that priority list. So there are a lot of things you can do to remove the time barrier these days of different tasks by automating or outsourcing, and by shortening the experience to optimize your time and utilize tools to focus on the parts that do require your focus in time.

This is a huge game changer. Now, I know a lot of you listening are, start out there going, I can't, I don't really. It's little things. It's the little repetitive things, but even the example of getting the finer points of a YouTube video, that's 45 minutes. I didn't have to spend to dime today listening to that video because for me to actually absorb it, I have to stop and listen to it.

I can't write and listen at the same time. My brain's just not wired [00:22:00] to do that. That was 45 minutes of time that. I was saved and I got some great points out of it. I really liked some of the points. They had some great ideas, so I will go back and listen to those segments. This is a way to capitalize on time management, which is not our focus today.

We'll talk about that next week. But to effectively plan out your goals and figure out how you're going to accomplish those, automate and outsource anything you can. The next step that you need to filter those smart goals through as you're planning how you're going to actually execute on those smart goals and all the little goals that came outta those smart goals, right?

One of those criteria, the CE framework, the other one. Another one is automating and outsourcing. Another one is called the Big Rock's First Theory. Now, if that seems weird to you and you haven't seen this little visual, you may have seen it and [00:23:00] not realize that's what it's called. But it's called Big Rocks first.

You might've seen this on social media. I've seen it on Facebook, I've seen it on Instagram. I'm sure it's spit on TikTok. It's an object lesson, and it's really simple. You start with a jar that is filled with two different size of rocks filling it. You have larger rocks and you have smaller rocks. If you dump it out and separate these small rocks from the big rocks and then start putting them in, and you put all the small rocks in first.

You will never get all the big rocks back in the jar. It just doesn't work. You have to put the large rocks or the bigger rocks of the two sizes into the jar first, and then you can pour the little rocks in and the little rocks will filter out naturally and fall down between the cracks and fill in the dead space.

Well, that's how you do these tasks as well. Hit the [00:24:00] big rocks first. There's always a lot of moving pieces in achieving goals. So start with the big rocks. Start with the things that are larger and more complicated, and as you move those big rocks and start to put them in to achieving that goal, the small ones are gonna fit naturally in where it's easy to throw those in while you're working on a bigger rock and all of a sudden.

Your goals start being achieved more effectively because you got the big rocks in, and the big rocks going in really takes care of the little rocks much faster. So start with the big rocks. Stage three is implementation. Okay. We came up with our ideation. We decided these are the goals we're gonna do, and these are the goals we're gonna achieve, and these are the timeframes we're gonna do it in, and this is how we're going to achieve them.

And we planned it out and we got our smaller goals put together and started to figure out which ones are the big rocks that we need to put in first, which [00:25:00] things we can automate, which things are critical and essential. And now we're to the actual implementation. We're doing something now, I know you've been waiting for this, right?

Two to five minute rule. If you follow personal development, you've heard the two to five minute rule and the two to five minute rule is very simple because it's the same rule. Just some people say the two minute rule, and some people say the five minute rule. Either way, it breaks down to something as simple as this.

If it takes two minutes or if you want to go with the five minutes. If it takes five minutes, I go with a five minutes. It takes five minutes or less. You do it Now when you're implementing issues or when you're implementing project. When you're implementing these. Task you're doing to meet these smaller pieces towards the bigger goals that are following your North Star metric, two to five minute rule.

It takes five minutes further less. I do it now guys. This has been a game changer in my life. If you are a person who deals with procrastination or struggles with procrastination, it's a [00:26:00] real legit thing. I'm not taking away from it. This will be a game changer, like this will rock your world, and it's very, very, very straightforward.

If it takes two minutes or five minutes, pick your number. If it takes five minutes or less, I do it now because if I do it now, I don't have to worry about it later. If I do it now, I don't circle back around to it. If I do it now, it doesn't come back up at the end of my day if I implement the five minute rule.

I don't have a bunch of stuff lingering when I finish my big projects and I'm tired. I get to the end of the day, guys, and I'm tired. I don't know about you, but by the end of my day I am like, whew. Time to relax. The last thing I want is a bunch of little crap I've gotta go back to and deal with later at the end of my day.

Uh, some people will call this the one touch rule. And I'm pretty sure I have more notes [00:27:00] on this, but apparently I lost them. Some people like to call this the one touch rule, right? And this is as simple as like, I've got a glass right here with me. You guys are listening. I'm holding a rocks glass right now, and it's as simple as this.

I have a rocks glass on my desk. When I'm done recording, I'm going to pick it up and I'm going to go put it in the sink with my dishes. Why? Because it's gonna take me. 30 seconds to do if I leave it sitting on my desk. Then later, once I'm relaxing, I've got to go, oh yeah, I've gotta reengage with the idea.

I've gotta come back into the studio. I'm gonna pick up the glass and make that trip then, right? If I'm going to leave my studio anyway, it makes sense to do the efficient thing and take my rocks glass with me or my coffee mug with me and put it in the sink. Now because it will detract from my life later.

Where now it's just convenient. It's a two to five minute rule, and this [00:28:00] applies to everything that's returning emails, that's putting dishes away, that's washing dishes, right? If I am cooking my kids breakfast and I get out my flat griddle, I cook them breakfast, I finish cooking breakfast, it takes me two to three minutes to wash that flack, griddle.

Water's hot. And then that way it's just gotta cool off and I can put it away once it's cool if I leave it dirty. If you've ever clean a flat grill, it's easier to do when it's warm. So if I leave it dirty and I come back to it later, now it's been sitting on my counter all day taking up space. Now I've gotta turn it back on and warm it back up to clean it properly.

Now I've gotta wait for it to cool back off again. That three minutes now takes 20 minutes. Understand the two to five minute rule. This is part of implementation. The next part of implementation is the 70 30 rule. I know it's a lot of rules, right? It's really much simpler than it sounds. You just this way you actually have something you can look up and understand.

1. [00:29:00] You'll find the two minute rule or five minute rule. If you Google it, you'll find the 70 30 rule. If you Google it, 70 30 rule is simple. Speed is what separates winners and losers in goal achievement and in a lot of things in life, if you look at really successful entrepreneurs. Speed is the secret you don't actually know about.

Most of the time, speed is capitalizing on the laws of momentum. 'cause the laws of momentum are absolute. As you start to win, you're going to win more, but don't wait until you're a hundred percent ready to take action on new pieces or new steps in the goals. That's the 70 30 rule. Most people. Freeze.

Most people get caught up in the little things. We all want to be a hundred percent sure before we take action. Well, that's not what the most successful people do. The bigger needle mover [00:30:00] is progress forward, always making progress forward, not perfection. Too many people wait for that. I'm a hundred percent ready before we take action.

But you can spend a lifetime getting a hundred percent ready. And if you struggle with procrastination, you absolutely know what I'm talking about. Most people will spend months, years, decades, trying to align the stars to get to a hundred percent. Before they actually ever take action or do anything, and so therefore they never actually do anything.

The 70 30 rule is very simple, instead of waiting for you to get a hundred percent ready to start on the next step. As soon as you finish the next step, take action at 70% when you feel like you are almost ready, but not perfect. Take action when you feel like, oh, [00:31:00] we're almost there. Take action. Stop waiting for the a hundred percent.

You'll get far more accomplished, much quicker. You'll reach your goals much faster if you focus on forward progress, not perfection. And that is what the 70 30 rule is about. As you implement these smaller goals towards your bigger smart goals that align with that North Star metric. The next part of implementation is to ask the right questions.

Now, this can be really difficult for a lot of people because it's like, well, how do I know what the right question is? Well, that's valid. Okay, that's a valid question. But as you go, you'll be gonna be faced with a lot of choices and asking the right questions. It's really important. In fact, learning to ask good questions is a very valuable skill.

Tim Ferriss, author of The Four Hour Work Week shared in a interview I was listening to. It might be in his book. I don't remember it from his book. I've read that too, but I remember it from an interview that I heard him talking [00:32:00] on and he shared what is universally one of the best questions in almost every situation that I've ever heard.

And it is this question. I promise this question alone. Write this down, take notes on this. I'll have it in the download. If this was easy, what would it look like?

This is a reverse engineering question that is incredibly important, and asking this question alone, we'll speed up your process on every goal you are trying to achieve. So here it is again. If this was easy, what would it look like? It changes the way you're looking at a problem. That one simple question changes the way you perceive the issue at hand.

The task before you, instead of thinking about how am I going to accomplish that goal, [00:33:00] you are now reverse engineering. If that goal was already accomplished, what would it look like? What would it being an easy look like? Because you start to process it differently. That way, we start to deconstruct what that goal achieved being easily achieved look like.

Right. Let me give you an example. I'll give you my gamer nerd example on this one. Okay. Playing World of Warcraft. I played World of Warcraft for years, ladies and gentlemen. I mean, years. And that's a whole nother story, but I played World of Warcraft at the top end of the game. For years. Years into the game, I went back and played some of the, what they call dungeons or raids.

If you're not familiar with gaming terms that were originally designed for 30 people to be involved with them. [00:34:00] I went back and soloed them years into the game. Now I went back to the vanilla raids, which were 30 men raids, 30 people were supposed to do it and was able to solo them when I was a certain level, when I was level 75 or 80.

Well, the original game limit was 50.

If it was easy, what would that look like? Well. For me, that was me looking stupidly overpowered because I was 15 levels higher than the designated level. I had the best possible gear, and I was an elite gamer at that point, and so I could walk through it and I was so overpowered for the level it was set at that I could literally just throw trash bells at things and kill things.

That should have just wiped 30 people who played it at the correct level. [00:35:00] Right. That's deconstructing it. This is what it was set for. This is what it looks like on easy mode. When you look at your goal. If it was easy, what would it look like? It will let you start to see the pieces of the puzzle that you have to achieve to therefore reach that goal.

There are other right questions to ask, but that question alone will be a huge needle mover for you as you seek to achieve these goals. I have heard other very successful people quote that one question. Tim Ferriss dropped that in interview guys and it was solid gold and it'll be solid gold in helping you achieve your goals.

The next thing is we're implementing is you need to say no, your net north star metric NSM. Goals should dictate your decisions and choices if you truly want to achieve those goals. [00:36:00] So be sure and stay on top of that not to-do list because distractions are gonna keep coming at you all through this process.

You'll never run outta distractions. You need to set healthy boundaries that will help you say Nolo. One entrepreneur, Cody Sanchez talks about. She doesn't go out on school nights. She's 30 years old, I think now 29 or 30 years old. I think she just turned 30, and she still does not go out and do anything or go out with her friends on quote unquote, school nights.

She runs a dozen plus businesses and is worth hundreds of millions of dollars at this point, but as a boundary for her, she says no to doing things on nights when she knows the next morning she's getting up and working hard. That is an example. You need to say no to the things that are going to prevent you and take away from you achieving those goals.

For me, I had to say no to gaming for a very long [00:37:00] time because gaming was distracting me from achieving goals I wanted to achieve. I also had to say no to several television series that I've been watching for years because I was watching. Hours and hours and hours and hours of television every night after work instead of going to the gym, instead of starting a side hustle, instead of chasing those goals, that actually will yield results.

I got some entertainment guys. I absolutely love some of my television shows. I got some entertainment out of them and it was fun at the moment. But it did not yield anything to my bigger life, so I had to learn to say, no, that was a boundary for me. It may not be an issue for you, but no is an acceptable answer, and you shouldn't have to explain it to people who care about you and know you're trying to achieve your goals.

But no is an acceptable answer, and it's something that we've gotten really bad about in society. The next [00:38:00] thing is you need accountability. Achieving goals is not something you do entirely on your own. Yeah, you can achieve some smaller goals, but you will drastically increase your chance of achieving those goals if you have somebody who can help hold you accountable.

So find one or two people. Please don't go OpenLab to all your friends. There are a lot of people who do that. No, no, no. Go share it with one or two people who deeply care about you and respect the fact that you're trying to achieve goals and tell 'em what those goals are and ask them to help you stay accountable.

This will move that needle, right? We already increased our chances of succeeding at this new goals that we are setting by 45% by writing them, asking someone to increase that accountability increases up to over 60% chance of you being successful. Those two things alone will help move you. Add the rest of this in, you're gonna start knocking 'em [00:39:00] out.

And the last thing in implementation is the carrot and stick method. Use rewards are social support to fuel difficult task. Right. That accountability partner we were just talking about are small rewards, right. I'm a big fan of celebrating the small wins on bigger goals. That helps you have the. Momentum that we said was absolute.

That helps you continue on a longer goal if you celebrate the small wins that are involved and help you continue forward in the de difficult task. While a lot of people will respond to rewards, it can be effective for me. I'm not a big reward person. So the other end of that is the stick, right? Or we've all heard the term, the carrot or the stick.

Well implement the stick policy. This isn't a bad thing. Negative reinforcement really gets a bad rap. I'm not asking you [00:40:00] to have somebody beat you. I'm not advocating for violence. Let me be very clear before this gets taken down. I'm not advocating for violence, but people avoid pain more than they will seek pleasure, like.

Five to one guys, people absolutely will do a hundred percent more, 300% more, 400% more to avoid pain than they will to seek pleasure. Pleasure. We're like, ah, this could be fun. But if there's a negative, we're like, no, we're doing it. We got it. We don't like to hurt. We don't like to be uncomfortable. So engineer stakes for failing will.

Motivate some people that the stick isn't going to motivate, right? So that might be giving money to somebody you dislike. Several years ago there was a big to-do during one of the elections [00:41:00] because the guys at Black Rifle Coffee, and you can look up the story. I'm a black rifle coffee drinker. I'm affiliated with Black Rifle Coffee, but I love veteran-owned businesses and they do a lot of good for the veteran community with money they raise every year.

So I'm a big fan of Black Rifle Coffee. I got a black rifle coffee mug here in front of me. I'm drinking Black Rifle coffee today. But years ago there was some controversy during one of the elections because one of the four founders of Black Rifle Coffee donated to. Somebody who was running for office that didn't generally align with the values that the company espouses publicly, and so it caused a lot of todo.

If you actually investigated that story, you found out that two of the guys made a bet and the loser of the bet. That was one of the stakes for losing the bet. It was the stick. If they lost, they had to donate X amount of dollars to this candidate who they both [00:42:00] hated. It was a stick motivation. It was a negative reinforcement to help them reach their goals.

That is what I'm talking about. Maybe that's giving money to somebody you dislike. Maybe that's doing something you don't wanna do. If the carrot isn't motivating you, the stick might, but you can implement that carefully. Now we're into the final stage of this. Guys. I know this seems like a lot, I promise it's not near as bad as you think it is, but this is what I'm saying is people didn't teach you the way to accomplish goals in the first stage of this.

We got into ideation, right? During that, one of the things you should have done is set a regular review point for these bigger goals. Because when I talk about bigger goals, guys, I'm talking about six month goals, one year goals, five year goals. I'm not talking about six week goals, okay? [00:43:00] So you showed us that regular review points because this was going to be a journey.

What gets measured gets improved, so track your progress. Since you already wrote down your goals and clearly defined what completion looks like, you should have review points where you look to make sure you are still on the path. You'll have to periodically adjust your plan because you might start down that path and realize one of the sub goals you created.

Actually isn't going to move that needle towards that smart goal or your, as you've grown, as you've changed through this process, your goals might reorient some and you don't want to keep wasting time on the original plan when you need to reevaluate that plan. 'cause things have changed. So you might have to toss some things out.

You might have to pivot as things be more clear on this. And that's the fourth stage of achieving goals. Now, I know it seems like a lot, [00:44:00] but I promise if you're ready to start crushing your goals and finally reach those goals that we were talking about early at the beginning of the episode, right? That goal that you went, this one thing is going to move the needle in my life towards what I want to get, go to these things will absolutely help you start crushing those goals and it'll absolutely help you get there with that particular goal.

If you work through the four steps and implement the steps and the processes we've been discussing, you're gonna start racking up wins now. Fair, fair warning, total disclosure achieving goals is habit forming. Reaching your goals is habit forming. Once you start experiencing those wins and reaching those goals and realizing you absolutely can obtain go goals that you set for yourself.

You'll continue to set more and more goals, and this will become a regular cycle. You'll [00:45:00] achieve one set of goals. You'll set your next set of goals and you'll start hearing there. I know we covered a lot today, and there's a significant chance that you are listening to this in your car or on the goal or on the treadmill because that's 80% of podcasts.

Listeners are listening to this while they're doing other things. If you're worried because you couldn't take notes, and we cover a lot of very specific things, don't be I. I've absolutely got you covered. Head over to purpose driven min.com, and you can go to the episode page for this episode on my website, and you'll find a free PDF download with some notes on it for you so you have a starting point because I know that you might be in your car and you're listening to this on the go.

Well, I've got you. So there are notes. Purpose driven men.com. Click on this episode. If you don't see this episode, scroll down to the bottom and go to the Driven Thrive to Thrive broadcast. You'll find all the episodes on there from 2025, [00:46:00] and go to this episode page and download the notes. There's no catch.

You don't have to gimme an email or anything to download that. It's just a free download load on this episode page for you so you have a starting point, and that way you don't have to worry if you were on the go. You'll also find the full transcript as well, which you can copy and paste out to a Word document or whatever.

If you want to deeper than just the worksheet that's already on there while you're on my website, purpose driven admin.com. Be sure to sign up for our free biweekly newsletter for exclusive insights behind the scene information offers from our guest and more. Next week we're gonna dive into time management for helping men to achieve goals and other things in their life because time management is a major issue.

So be sure and check that out next week like this. Share it with a friend who needs it and subscribe for more information like this. Until next time, go start crushing your goals and be better tomorrow because what you do today, we'll [00:47:00] see you on the next one. The Driven to Thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving.

Purpose-filled intentional lives.