If you're looking to cultivate a forever kind of marriage and you're committed to personal growth, then you're in for a journey. Today, I want to equip you with a checklist of things within your control to foster a strong, lasting marriage.
Why Men Must Choose Not to Be Victims
First things first, if you're embracing a victim mentality, this isn't the place for you. Real men don't play the victim. This is a space for those who want to take ownership of their lives, marriage, and personal development. If you're committed to making your marriage great, you understand that growth isn't always easy or comfortable, but it's necessary.
The Importance of Personal Development
You're here because you're among the elite. You're willing to acknowledge areas of growth and actively work on them. That's the kind of mindset that sets you apart. Whether you're a first-time listener or a longtime follower, know that this episode will help you grow, especially in your marriage.
The Fallout from Social Media
Recently, I posted a clip from my interview with KristalDeSantis on TikTok. The responses were overwhelmingly negative from men who didn't want to take responsibility. It's disappointing but telling; growth is for the few who are willing to put in the work.
- Get Physical
Research proves that couples who are more active together have stronger relationships. Being physically active helps you stay healthier and more attractive to your spouse. Plus, active couples tend to enjoy more intimate moments together.
- Take Care of Your Mental Health
Mental health issues in men are at an all-time high. Practice gratitude daily, have quiet time, and build a positive men's circle. Apps like "Mental" can be beneficial for daily mental check-ins.
- Invest in Your Relationship
Stop taking your marriage for granted. Continually work on it, whether through reading relationship books, listening to podcasts, or attending seminars. Keep dating your wife and celebrate life together.
- Invest in Your Future
Women often fall in love with the man you have the potential to become. Keep growing personally, professionally, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Aim for the stars and never settle.
- Be Capable
Develop basic life skills and be self-reliant. Whether it's home repairs, cooking, or basic automotive skills, being capable in various areas adds value to your relationship.
- Pull Your Weight
Gone are the days of strict gender roles. You should be able to handle household chores and parenting duties. Contribute meaningfully to your family beyond just financially. Know what’s happening in their lives and be actively involved.
The Modern Man in Marriage
Gentleman, we are way past the 1950’s. Marriages are not the same and the way we approach them have to change. For years men have stood on the concepts of: Protect, Provide, Preside and Procreate. Most of us don’t live in a place where we hunt everyday or have to worry about roving bandits. Protecting now includes emotional and mental security, providing is frequently a 2 person task in the modern economy, presiding is only something that happens because of an act of love and honor from your spouse to you. And not everyone wants kids these days and sadly there are a lot of sexless marriages because of men carrying a 1950’s mindset. No more coming home from work and being a lazy POS the rest of the day. Take a breath and engage.
Masculine Men have risen to the challenges in front of them for centuries. Climb a mountain, discover new worlds, cross the endless ocean, conquer the enemies; whatever it is faced with. Men’s roles in modern relationships have stayed the same, but the definitions of what is encapsulated in those roles have changed and a lot of men must grow to match like every other challenge.
Extreme Ownership
To have a forever kind of marriage, it takes two to tango. However, this list will help you ensure you're fulfilling your end as a modern masculine male. These are principles I've focused on in my 23-year marriage. I'm not perfect; it's a lot of work to keep everything balanced, but the end result is worth it. If you are not familiar with the concept of extreme ownership you can click on the link and do a deep dive with author and Navy Seal Jocko Willink
Nurturing a Strong Marriage
It is a lot of work, but investing in your marriage yields immense rewards. For some help with number 3 be sure and watch or listen to the episodes with marriage therapist Kristal DeSantis and another great episode with Cass Morrow from Morrow Marriage. Let's step up as men and have the marriages we've always dreamed of because what you do today manifests in the relationship you'll have tomorrow.
