Becoming Your Best Self: Unlocking Personal Growth with Ramy Selah

[00:00:00] Um, I would say.

Uh, don't don't be afraid. Don't be afraid of failure. Uh, and just keep moving forward. Uh, failure. Don't look at failure as a bad thing. Don't don't look at pressure as a bad thing. Um, they are there to serve you just embrace them and and keep moving forward. Always move forward. That that's that would be it.

Just keep moving forward.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential, growing to the men we dream of being, while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's the big question. In this podcast, we'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent, and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast.[00:01:00]

Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things, man, husband, and father. Big shout out to Fallible Nation and a warm welcome to our first time listeners. Hey, thanks for checking us out. I hope you enjoy the show. My name is Brent and today my special guest is coach Rami Salah. Rami, welcome to the show.

That's Rami. Sorry. I told you I'd butcher at least once. It's all good. It's all good. Thanks Brent. Happy to be here. Rami, are you a Star Wars fan? Yes, definitely. Awesome. Like I randomly picked one trivia question for the show and it is totally random and I picked a Star Wars question today. So, hey. That works out great.

I asked a Harry Potter question one day and the person was like, I've never seen Harry Potter or read it. I was like, Oh, okay then. So the random question of the show, which Star Wars film has the quote, always remember your focus determines your reality. Is it a, the Empire Strikes Backs, [00:02:00] Strikes Backs, that's horrible English.

A, The Empire Strikes Back, B, The Phantom Menace, C, The Force Awakens, or D, Solo Star Wars Story? I have no idea, but I'm going to go with the Empire Strikes Back. It's hard to beat a classic, right? Yeah. Are you an original, prequel, or sequel guy? I mean, I've watched all of them, but I mean, the original ones are the ones I watched.

More than once, you know, you know, like when we were kids just watch the movies over and over again. So, uh, Uh, yeah, I mean, uh, those are the ones I watched most Yeah, me too. I've seen all of them, but it's like, huh? Yeah, I'll stick with those. So Rami, if you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

Oh, that's a, that's a good one. I think, um, I would have, I would pick flight. [00:03:00] Uh, and, uh, I, I would pick that just because, uh, you know, if you can fly, you could, uh. You could be in so many places, you know, it just, it's this shortcut when it comes to time. And in this day and age, I have so many people living in different areas of the world.

I just wish I could, you know, see them spend time with them. And, uh, so yeah, I, I think this would be my pick. Okay. I like it. I like it. Nothing less creepy. I had one guest say invisibility. I was like. That's a little shady, just, yeah,

what is your go to comfort food or guilty pleasure snack? Pizza. Pizza. Yeah, it has to be pizza. I know you're disciplined about your diet, so I had to ask. Yeah, no, it's, uh, it has been like that ever since I was a kid. I've always loved pizza. I don't eat it as much anymore, but it's definitely my favorite one.

What kind of pizza? Uh, pepperoni. Pepperoni and cheese pizza. Hard to go [00:04:00] wrong. That's, that's... Can't. Can't go wrong with that one. I'm not a huge pizza person, but we have, uh... A local pizza place that's just, you know, it's a local restaurant, right? And, oh my goodness, they make such amazing pizza. I, I've never, I used to be a youth minister, so I kind of burned out on pizza because at every youth event, we ate pizza, right, for years.

And so I just totally burned out on pizza. I didn't like it anymore. This place has such amazing made from scratch pizza. It's like, man, original Italian pizza or, uh, no, no, but the guy is really big into fresh, high quality ingredients and everything is from scratch. So, yeah, it's like, man, life was a little better before I liked pizza.

Cause now I can, I can like just scarf the whole thing, dude. It was so much easier when I didn't like pizza. Are you a morning person or night owl? I'm a [00:05:00] morning person. What purchase of a hundred dollars or less have you made in the last year that's had the biggest impact on your life? Um, that's a, that's a tricky one, less than a hundred dollars.

Uh, I mean, that's gonna, it's gonna have to be a book, I would say. Um, I would say, um, the, um, the, um, Russell Brunson's books, business books, the three books, expert secrets, traffic secrets, um, these dot com secrets, I think this series is, uh, has, has been great to me, honestly, as far as business goes. And, um, I would definitely recommend it to any entrepreneur who's trying to start something online.

It's a great series of books. I always laugh because I have more guys be like, Oh, wait, under a hundred dollars. It's like, is that really that odd to people anymore? Nothing great cost less than a hundred bucks. It is. It's tricky. It's [00:06:00] trippy, right? Inflation is getting up, man. It's, it's getting nuts. I have one guy who spent 70 on a pair of shorts.

Wow. And he loved them so much. He bought like six more pairs. He's like, dude, I'm telling you, these are life changing shorts. I was like, I just couldn't wrap my mind around a pair of shorts. Yeah. I'm I'm cheap. So I was like, you did what for half a pair of pants? It's crazy. What are you most proud of in your life?

Um, my kids. It's just, uh, you know, watching them grow and, um, um, you know. Especially the older one, though. The younger one is still a toddler, but, um, you know, everything that I see them doing when my older son, like, goes to training, he does something new, uh, when my younger one started walking, you know, these things, they feel so proud, and I feel so proud of them, uh, because at, you know, at this [00:07:00] age, they struggle.

They struggle with a lot of things, but, uh, it's that stage where they actually overcome these challenges, right? This is how they grow up. Uh, but yeah, I mean, watching them day by day, it's, uh, I love them. They are, I mean, I'm most proud of them, definitely. There's nothing wrong with that. What are the ages?

Um, six and a half and two and a half. Okay, okay. Those are good ages, man. I've got, uh, my youngest daughter is turning nine Saturday. So, by the time this airs, she'll have been nine for a little bit a while, but we're getting ready for her birthday this coming Saturday. She's gonna turn nine years old, and my oldest is eleven, so...

They're not far out of that age group. Those are those are good ages. I like six and two I'm, really not I took my oldest daughter to her first youth group event this week, uh for our church She finally moved into that middle school category. I was like No, I'm not okay with this. Claire and I were like, this should not be as hard as dropping [00:08:00] off at kindergarten.

This should not be that bad, but like, she's moving to that next age bracket. I'm just like, no, no. But you're all assed, aren't they? Oh my goodness. It seems like yesterday they were coming home from the hospital, so. What is one random fact that people don't know about you? Um, random fact that people don't know It's hard when you live a very public life, right?

It is. Um, I collect nines Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I love knives ever since I was a kid. Like I was, um, obsessed with Rambo growing up, you know, his knives and stuff. I actually have the full collection. Uh, it's just something I've, I've, I've loved ever since I was a kid and I, no one knows about it. Really. I was actually cleaning them today, but, uh, yeah, I guess that's, that's one thing.

No, you know what? I totally get the fascination. I got my first pocket knife when I was [00:09:00] like five and I have. Knives everywhere around my house. I, I just love knives. So still the most useful tool ever. It's a crazy obsession that not a lot of people get, but when you, when you have it, you're like, I love it.

They're like my kids. I love them. My first job in the world was working on a ranch in Wyoming for Master Bladesmith Ed Fowler. And I would sit there for hours on the ranch and just watch him hand forge these beautiful blades.

And just the whole process of hand forging these beautiful, beautiful knives with ram's horn handles. He actually has his own strain of rams that he crossbred to get genetically these rams that grew bigger, more beautiful horns faster. Yeah. And just, just the painstaking artisan work. And I've had a obsession my whole life.

Amazing. I love it. [00:10:00] Right? There's, there's a story behind every blade. There really is, but you have to be a knife lover to, to really appreciate it. So I'll stop. Sorry. I can get way off on that. Before we get into the meat of the show today, what's something everyone should know about you going into this?

Um, well, I guess I'm just, uh, I'm one of those people who's very stubborn, uh, you know, as far as life goes, I'm just. I'm the kind of guy who's just, I'll keep going, I'll keep going no matter what. It's just one characteristic that's I mean, I, I, I don't like to

take in no for an answer. I'll just keep going, keep going until something happens. Or die trying. That's, that's I guess where I am. Okay. I respect that entirely. Stubbornness can make up for a lot sometimes. It, it has its use, usefulnesses for sure. Guys, we've been spending just a little bit of time getting to know who Rami is as a person, who he is now in his life.[00:11:00]

And the next part of the show, we're going to dive into passion, priorities, purpose, and more. We're going to roll to our sponsor and we will be right back with more from Rami Salah. Now, before we go any further, I wanted to share with you guys. I don't always tell you how much I love doing my podcast.

Like I passionately love what I'm doing. And one of the things that makes my life better as a podcaster is to work with a company like grow your show, grow your show is a one stop podcast. Do it all now. I use Grow Your Show for my marketing, but Grow Your Show is literally a one stop shop. You can record your episode and just drop it off with them and they take it from there.

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All right, guys, welcome back. The first part of the show, we spent some time just [00:12:00] getting to know coach Rami. And today in this show, we're going to talk about passion, priorities and purpose, and even more guys, I promise that you're going to love. We have so much for you today in this show coach, as we move into this, tell us about your journey because you didn't start in fitness.

Um, no, actually I did not. Um, so. Um, when I graduated, um, I basically went into the corporate world and, um, I, I worked for a while in, in sales, um, was in, um, like in a fortune 500 company actually for a good four, five, almost five years, got promoted real fast. I mean, um, I was managing a region within three years, so I was doing great, but, um, you know, on the day I got.

Promoted for my next position. Um, I just, I, I resigned. I, I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy at all. I was, [00:13:00] um, I was living, you know, that, that sales guy corporate life. Um, and it, it, I was working to death, uh, you know, hardly sleeping, extremely unhealthy. I was actually, believe it or not, I was smoking at that time as well.

And, um, um, it was draining the life out of me. Although I was making great money, great position, um, at that point when I got promoted, I was like, okay, I got a decision to make. Because if I do this, I'm probably going to be in this for life. And then I was like, no, this is, this is, this is not what I want to do.

I'm just gonna, I'm gonna switch. And I'm gonna, you know, go into what I actually love. Um, so that was, that was actually the backstory. And then I transitioned after that into fitness. Okay. Now you went down the fitness rabbit hole. You have, how many certifications do you have at this point? I have no idea.

That's a very good question. [00:14:00] I was researching you for the show and looking at your biography and information was like, holy crap. You have a lot of certifications. Yeah, no, I, I went that rabbit hole for a very long time and, um, it's, it's a passion. I love it. And fitness is just one of those areas that, uh, I mean, you can't master it, you know, and after getting a statistic, you can't say, Hey, you know, I'm good, but there are so many different areas and so many different philosophies and, um, so many different tools to learn about.

I just kept bouncing from one to one. So, okay, this is great. I love it. I want to learn about this. I want to learn about that. So. Um, it took me to so many different areas. So many coaches. I mean, I had the privilege to learn from some of the best guys in the industry. Um, I mean, it was definitely a great journey, but, uh.

I honestly lost, lost count a long time ago.

An interesting problem to have because it's a lot of work [00:15:00] to get most of those certifications. And you brought CrossFit to Egypt? I did. I did. I did. That was, that was a, well, that was a long time ago now. 13 years ago, um, when I brought the cross Egypt, um, I mean, at the time it was, um, I mean, it was relatively new, even in the, in the U S at the time, you know, it was, it wasn't what it was right now.

And in Egypt specifically, it was, it was a tough journey because, uh, no one knew. anything about CrossFit down here. It was mainly the gym, that was it. I mean, even fitness, like regular fitness wasn't a thing yet. Um, so when I started, I was like, hey guys, we're gonna do CrossFit. What the hell is that? You don't even know what you're talking about.

Um, and there wasn't even any tools, you know, like bumper plates, barbells, kettlebells that I had, I had to order tools. Um, it was crazy. [00:16:00] Yeah, it was. It was a rough start. I mean, it took me like a good three years to get my first place. I was coaching like outdoor, uh, bootcamp style, uh, training for a while, uh, trying to spread the word, but, um, you know, it was a fun journey.

Honestly, it was, uh, it was nice, nice, nice. And you're a level three CrossFit coach. Uh, yeah, yes, yes, I am. That's, that's incredible, man. I, my, my friend just got his level one certification and I know what a journey it was to get there. Like people don't understand if you're not in this industry because, so I'm an ASM certified coach.

Um, people do not understand like becoming a certified CrossFit coach is not a small venture. Getting to level three? That, that's crazy. It is. It was hard, honestly. I, um, it was one of the hardest, like, tests [00:17:00] I've ever had to sit through. And, um, like, you know, like I have an MBA that wasn't even close. Like, the MBA was close to that, like, sitting in front of a computer for four hours.

Um, and it was just one of those tests for me. I was sitting, I was like, this is this. It doesn't just test what you know. It tests your experience because, um, no matter how hard you study the material, which was like you had to research most of it. But it kind of tests like your experience as well inside the test, like, uh, you know, I always tell this to anyone who tells me, uh, I want to do a level three, I tell them, okay, here's what questions are like in the level three, they view a group of people on a screen, 10, 10 people, 12 people performing the movements and ask them to spot the error.

The video, and that's what it's like, it doesn't matter how many books you read, if you don't have the experience, you're not going to pass that test. [00:18:00] I got to say, I'm actually more impressed with that because I was really, I failed my first NASM exam because in the two hour test, there was honestly nothing about training as far as I'm concerned.

I was like, okay, I read this book cover to cover. I studied through all this and it's not a small book, but it's like, I thought we were going to talk about training. Isn't that the point of becoming a certified personal trainer? You learn about training and like, there was so little in the NASM certification about actual training practices and programming, it was like, uh, it's a good thing I've actually trained people that getting the certification was just like, Hey, I should actually like get certified so I can charge people for this.

But then I got a fanboy about one more you have a Westside barbell Certification. Holy crap. I do know that was the other hardest [00:19:00] thing. I've ever had to go through I I so I'm I'm a my preferences is strongman and power like strength is I appreciate the athletics involved with CrossFit, but the strength is my passion and fanboy out Holy crap.

Louis Simmons is the godfather of string, getting that certification. I can't, I didn't even know he offered that, but I know it can't be easy. It wasn't, it wasn't, it was, it was brutal. Um, that thing, it took me two years of studying to pass that thing. And it's, it's, it's super 12 to

13 books. Like, um. We're talking like college level books, like super hard books, and, uh, there's this one situation, [00:20:00] I remember it, and it's crazy, I always, I always tell this story, I was, um, I had a question, so I emailed my instructor at Westside, told him, listen, I, I can't, I can't grasp this, you know, it's in, it's in the outline, I can't find it, you know, I have this question, what, how can I find the answer to this?

He's like, it's super easy. Check super training. Super training is a 700 page book.

I was like, okay, that does it. Obviously I'm not getting any help there. I'm going to get back to super training and try to figure this out. But it was, it was, it was like that, you know, they're going to make you work hard for 80 percent failure rate. They didn't want a lot of people to have it. And I didn't pass it in the first go either.

You know, I, I failed my first, uh, my first time in, uh, but I, you know, it was a lot of hard work putting in, putting that much work and sitting in another four hour exam. It [00:21:00] was, uh, it was a tough one too. Oh man, I can't even for all of you who are not like, and there's no judgment. Okay. If you go to the gym workout, take care of yourself.

Great. If you're not super obsessed with strength. Like some of us are, and you don't know what we're talking about. Westside barbell is not only a style of lifting, but a gym. That's where it originated that style of lifting. And these, they produce some of the strongest lifters in the world. Some of the most beastly strong dude guys, and they have no other care.

They're just pursuing strength and it's, it's insane. The guys in out of there, they come out of there benching 600 plus pounds. And I mean, this is their obsession. And so Louie Simmons is just. He pioneered so much and the guys that come out of that gym are some of the best trainers and coaches in the world Like I can I seriously fanboy like I can go through like name off several of them that I follow Uh, and have just [00:22:00] molded my training throughout the years for strength training.

But I'll stop. I'll stop. I was like, I was super impressed, man. I was like, holy, you can tell I'm fanboying here. Uh, so you, you left a master's degree in business, which that's not a small undertaking to get there. Uh, the amount of time it takes to get a master's degree, the amount of money you invest to get to that place, right?

There, there's time before that pays itself off. You invested a lot into this and you decided to follow your passion into fitness and then. Have just ruthlessly pursued that. I mean to have that many certifications, to get the certifications you've had, and now your life is taking a different spin. So let's talk about how fatherhood changed your life in perspective.

Um, man, fatherhood, it completely changed my life. I mean. Um, our first son, um, [00:23:00] uh, when we had him, it was, it was, I just think we, we weren't ready. Uh, we weren't ready for it. It was, it was really tough. He was, um, he was colic. He, um, he cried. He cried. Like for months we couldn't sleep. I didn't get. Three, three hours in a row of sleep for the first seven or eight months.

And he didn't get a good night's sleep for the first two and a half years or so. It, um, it was really tough, uh, having him. Um, and to the extent that we said, Hey, we're not gonna have any more kids, right? Uh, and, um, But, I loved it. I loved it, but it was a struggle. Um, But it was one of those things that, you know, you struggle, but you love it at the same time.

Like, you don't know, uh, you can't leave it, but you love it at the same time. Uh, but honestly, having my family was, and starting a family was one of the big [00:24:00] influences, one of the big reasons that I actually wanted to start an online business. Because... I mean, where I live, at least, and I had several gym locations that I ran before, my life basically started in the evening, started around 5 or 6 p.

1. When, when, you know, because I had to be at one of the locations when, uh, when people came in, always at the gyms and stuff, and that meant that I wasn't there. Uh, for my family in the evening, that was a crazy situation for me because I didn't want that. I didn't want to be the dad that wasn't around for his, uh, for his kid and for his wife.

Um, and that was my vision. You know, I, that's why one of the main drivers for me to start an online business and, um, when I, when I finally started it and it took off, um, it was one of the big reasons that I actually sort of transitioned out of owning, um, an affiliate or a CrossFit box. Okay. [00:25:00] Can I ask where, where in this journey did your first child come into the picture?

Um, where? So I had my first child in 2017. I had been running, um, my gyms for seven years so far. So started in 2010 and yeah, my first son was born in February, 2017. Okay. So multiple, multiple gyms and locations, multiple certifications in, you've already made one huge transition in your life from the corporate world, the fitness industry, and you're.

In, I mean, most people will go, Oh, Hey, I own multiple gyms. I'm super certified and you know, this is very successful. And then your kid was born and the world changed again, radically for you. You'll have to reevaluate your priorities. Right. I mean, that's a huge fatherhood is an interesting thing. And it's, it's something universal between all dads.

I remember [00:26:00] a coworker of mine. I worked with him over a long enough period of time. Like I knew him when he was dating his now wife and like, he was a typical noxious little crap, trying to be nice about it. Like he was, you, those of us who had families to start talking about our kids and stuff, he'd like just politely try and scoot away from the conversation.

And yeah, he was typical young twenties and, and then he got really serious and then he got married. But then he had his first kid and he had a little boy in the world changed. Rat like who he was. It was, it was really fun to watch to see, because like he became a person, he actually cared about other people.

He listened to other people, right? It changed the way he viewed the world. And then I walked into work one day after his son was about two and like, he looked like he was, he was going to faint, like something's wrong. [00:27:00] I was like, what's going on, brother? He's like, how do you sleep at night? I was like, what's going on, man?

He's like. We're pregnant. Katie's pregnant. I was like, dude, congratulations. That's amazing. He's like, it's a girl. I was like, dude, that's awesome. He's like, how do you, how do you sleep at night? I was like, you better sit down. Cause I have two daughters. And I was like, you're looking at the world a whole different way now, huh?

He's like, Every man sucks.

Oh yeah. I get that. I have a daughter on the way as well. It's different. Kids change the lens through which we see the world drastically. We get suspicious about people. We start thinking about defending the house. Oh my goodness. It just changes our perspective in a massive way. Fatherhood is one of those universal Like connections.

It doesn't matter [00:28:00] where you are in the world, where you're from, what your background is, men come together on fatherhood, but a lot of guys struggle when they make that transition into fatherhood, right? Some of the, because our perspectives change, some of the things that were important to us, we let our, tend to let our health go a little bit, right?

We get less active. Uh, you said at one point you were struggling with binge eating and emotional eating there. How do,

how do we as men start to square with these changes, right? I mean, it's, it's a lot, right? But how do we universally it just, it hits guys out of the blue, right? They hit that, Oh my goodness, I'm going to be a father and life changes radically. And you have to change your priorities and your perspectives.

So what's your just off, off cuff advice to men who are experiencing this for the first time, right? They're, they're just getting the news of, wow, I'm going to be a dad. [00:29:00] What, what, what do you want to say to men who are just finding out this as far as, you know, how to breathe in that moment? As they're looking at their whole reality shifting.

Yeah, no, I mean, honestly, it's the best feeling in the world. Um, there is nothing as enjoyable, you know, as having kids. It's, it's, it, that is what it is. So I, the first thing is it's, it's an amazing thing, you know, to have kids. Um, however, it is super hard. It is also one of the hardest things you're going to have to go through.

Um, certainly is the, for me, it's definitely one of the hardest things I've ever been through. And, um, we just live in a world that doesn't really prepare us for fatherhood, um, as far as I can see. I mean, nothing prepared me for what was coming. I mean, I was, I was a guy who was very structured in my day. I had routines in place.

I loved my routines. You know, [00:30:00] um, I considered myself, uh, very, you know, mentally tough and disciplined and all that. But when my, when my kid came into the picture, all that blew up in my face. I just couldn't get a routine and I couldn't sleep right and, and, uh, and just my wife's turned upside down and nothing really prepares you for that unless you.

Um, start preparing yourself for it, um, by just toughening the hell up, toughening the hell up out of yourself. I think that's, that's the, that's the way to go. I mean, the tougher you are as a human being, um, the more you'll be able to manage that. Um, if you don't, if you don't mentally prepare for it, it's, it, it could be like a black hole that sucks you in, and you, you won't know what hit you.

Okay. That's, I mean, that's, I, I know for me, right, physical activity and diet. And sleep and even [00:31:00] hydration, right? The first, the four pillars of your health. Yeah. First thing, sacrificing out the door. It's like, I'll eat eventually. My wife and I joked about, you know, it was, it was months before she had a hot meal.

Uh, because she was nursing at the time. And it, it was, you know, and every meal was like, here, I'll hold the baby. You eat, eat real quick. Eat, eat, eat, you know. Uh, it radically just hit those four pillars of your health. I think that's, that's where the idea of dad bod comes from is for men. That's one of the first things we drop is taking care of ourselves.

So talk to a lot of men's coaches and you have a different approach. So what's such your approach to personal development and self mastery apart from other programs and methodologies? Um, well, as far as I'm concerned, it's, it starts with. [00:32:00] First us taking ownership of the problem, right? Because I, I see that a lot.

Um, most men out there, uh, they blame the issue on something out there, right? They blame it on time, they blame it on their kids, they blame it on their marriage, you know, on work. Um, they don't take the time to stand, look in the mirror and say, Hey, you are the person responsible for this and you are the solution and you are the problem at the same time.

And once we, we let that sink in and, um, we start to take note of what we're saying to ourselves and taking control of the conversation that's in our mind. Um, things started to change because I think that's the most important thing, you know, um, thoughts lead to feelings, feelings lead to actions, actions lead to results.

It's, it's that, uh, sort of connection that, that leads to where we are at the end. And I believe it always starts in the mind. If we can control that and [00:33:00] control the thoughts, we'll be able to control everything after that. And this is where I think. Um, I like to come in. I mean, yeah, exercise is great and nutrition is great and I know these things, but these are not really, uh, the levers that we need to work on to start with at least because this is not where we're going to get the most bang for our buck because most people go there right away and say, okay, you know, go exercise and take control of your diet.

And that's amazing. But then you get, it. Results for a very short period of time. Um, and then, you know, when you sort of stop or you hit a roadblock or life happens sort of bounce back into your old habits as opposed to, okay, what are, what are my thoughts? What am I thinking? What's my mindset like? And you start.

taking control of those thoughts, taking control of your emotions, and then, you know, drilling those into daily habits and rituals, which then, you know, give you the results you need. This is sort of how I look at it. [00:34:00] Now guys, we've been discussing passion, priorities, purpose, a little bit more. In the next part of the show, we're going to dive into becoming men of character.

We're going to roll to our sponsor and we will be right back with more from Rami Salah. How well do you sleep at night? Do you toss and turn and wake up more tired than when you went to bed? Sleep is commonly one of the critical elements people fall short on in their life. The quality of sleep you get directly affects your ability to control your weight, your ability to add muscle, your stress levels, and your everyday job and life performance.

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Now let's go on to the show. Guys, welcome back. In the last part of the show, we discussed passion, priorities, purpose [00:35:00] as. Rem, Rami, I'm going to say that so sorry, I'm going to say it's wrong so many times this Rami has just changed his career a couple of times in his life at these major turning points.

To align with his priorities with his changing purpose in life in this part of the show We're going to dig into becoming men of character because that's not something we talked about Very often anymore like it actually kind of bothers the mind for me a little bit Because you go back a generation or two like that was a really big thing, right people men of character, right?

Looked at guys like John Wayne's characters and were like, yeah, that was a man of character. Right. And some people were like, oh, those are men, men. Yeah, but they were, they were men of character. They went beyond men's men or whatever. But you don't hear that term as often in the modern era, which to me is just tragic.

So for our listeners, let's, let's define what is character? Why is it important? Um, well, [00:36:00] it's, it's not easy, I think, to define character, but to me, at least it's, um, it's having a certain set of values that you don't really compromise on and you just live by every single day. That's, that's how I see a man's, a man's character is those, you know, specific values and traits that sort of define who you are.

So I would say like one of them that I've always tried and live by is a man of his word, right? To me, that's a character trait. If a man says he's going to do it, you should be able to count on I I'm old enough and grew up with old. People that if a man shook hands, the deal is done, it's done. Yeah, right.

You didn't have to say, I promise, or I swear you shook hands with me. We're done. That's, that's as good as signing a paper to me. And so like being a man, man of your word is, is what we would call a character trait, I think, and other values that are similar to that. Right. Uh, men who show up on [00:37:00] time,

I used to be a hiring manager for my company. And, oh my goodness, I, I had a fight with my boss one time because I was hiring somebody from a, uh, different team, totally different career path. He's like, but, but this guy's got no, no experience in the field. Yeah, but I know his work ethic because we worked in the same building and he's here every day, not just on time, but early prepared when his shift starts, he put in the work to get a degree.

It's unrelated, but he put in four years to get a degree and solve that through. Yeah. And he's the first person to volunteer to take extra shifts. If somebody calls out sick, right? I can tell you, he has the character of a person I want to work with here. I can teach him to do what we got to do. My boss was like, Oh, I don't know.

He doesn't look, I can train him. That's what I do, but I [00:38:00] can't teach him to be a person of character. I can't teach someone to be on time and to care and to actually apply themselves. Uh, so that's just one of those things these days, right? We're losing that conversation, not because the younger generations are bad.

I, I get, I get hit all the time. It's like, you're so hard on the younger generations. It's our fault. I'm not blaming them. I'm blaming us. We, we let up to an extent with some of the younger generations. It didn't put the same demands on them about showing up on time and being true to their word and having that character.

Um, no, I mean, I, I absolutely agree. Um, I mean, those two things specifically, I think those are the The main pillars, I guess, to judge, to judge a man by, I mean, my dad used to tell me this, you know, when I was, a kid, uh, you know, he's always like, um, [00:39:00] Yeah, a man is his word, right? This is, that's basically it.

If I, if I say something, uh, you can take it to the bank. It's gonna happen. It's, it's, I don't need to repeat it. It's, it's, if it comes out of my mouth, it's, it's done. You know, that's, that was like the first thing. That's how I learned that my word means something, you know, or at least it has to, to me. Um, and my dad, you know, he was in the military and, you know, time was, was a big thing.

You know, I, I, I don't think I knew what being late is growing up. That just doesn't, doesn't exist. Um, uh, we're always either early, um, or on time. And if you're on time, you know, you might, you're late, but, um, but it's something I grew up with. And, uh, I mean, it served me well, honestly, but. It's a struggle, you know, more.

I live, I say, I mean, I live in Egypt at the moment and time is not [00:40:00] like it's not a big thing down here and people are very relaxed with time, but it's like you said, I mean, you can't really blame the younger generations. It's, it's, it's up to us, right? To, to sort of reinforce these things and. And not to let up on them, I think.

Because I think that a lot of people sort of give in to what's happening around them. You know, it's like, it's okay. I mean, I don't, I don't really need to be hard ass about this. If everyone's late, then I'm going to be late, you know. And people tend to give in to that peer pressure instead of just, you know, standing your ground and saying, Hey, this is how I am, you know.

I'm not going to change no matter what. Did your dad reference Lombardi's rule of time? Yeah,

we're, we're, we're tracking man. That's it. Yeah. Uh, my, my dad was in the military for a short, for like six or years or whatever, but he was also a big [00:41:00] football guy. So he loved in some Lombardi anyways, and it just reaffirmed everything he already lived by. Uh, so I, I heard that reference. Even when I heard it called Lombardi's rule time when I was in the military, but it was like, I was like, Oh, that's where dad got it from.

Okay. He's taking credit for that, but that's where, that's where that came from. Got it. So in becoming men of character, I think we have to take the trash out some. And you talk a lot about confronting addictions and handling like depression and things in life that are dragging us down. Can you, can you lean into that a little bit?

I didn't get that. Sorry, can you repeat that? Sorry, I didn't make that a real clear question. I think to become men of character, to become the men we need to be. We have to confront some of the trash in our life sometimes, and that might be in the form of addictions, that might be in the form of even laziness, or complacency.[00:42:00]

Can you speak to that a little bit? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Um, I think that most, most of us these days, we have, uh, we have things in our life that we, and I speak this from personal experience, honestly. That we, um, kind of, we're slaves to, if we can put it that way. Things that we know we need to give up, but we're not willing to give up.

And that's basically the test for me. There is something that, um, I know I need to give up, but I'm not willing to give up. Uh, and I know that if I give it up, it's, it's actually better for me. This is when I know that this is something I need, I need sort of to get rid of. And, uh, I believe this is where most of us get stuck because we, we, we live in a culture of comfort, right?

We just want to be comfortable. We're sold on that [00:43:00] idea that life should just be comfortable. It should be relaxing. Uh, we were being told that, you know, problems are bad. Pressure is not good for you. You should avoid it at all costs. Uh, everyone just wants to go home at the end of the day, sit, sit on the couch and watch TV and sort of sedate themselves, uh, to sort of forget whatever crappy day was, was behind them, right?

Instead of living, um, a life of passion and a life of purpose and dealing with whatever. Is ailing them head on right dealing with the problems because that's how we become stronger and how we become better men, right? And I I've I've personally discovered that you know The the more pressure I put on myself and the more problems actually force myself to deal with the happier I become because happiness It comes in that area from overcoming adversity.

And when you do it [00:44:00] consistently, you become better and better and become more confident, more confident. So you're saying you've got to head things on and we've got to jump into discomfort, which isn't that, that alone is a scary concept for most people. So tell us about, I mean, you've made some big leaps in your life going from the corporate world to the fitness world and then changing your format that was already working and what people call it very successfully into a different format when you changed your priorities with your kids.

So at these pivotal moments in your journey, you know, how did you, how do you process? Confronting your fears and getting out of your comfort zone and, and making these changes because I think a lot of us get jammed up in that. So can you talk about that a little bit? Absolutely. Um, I mean, honestly, it wasn't all nice and dandy, right?

And like I said before, you know, I actually suffered from like a bitch [00:45:00] eating disorder and I gained a lot of weight at one point. And at one point I was hitting myself to the point where. You know, I, I, I sat down with my wife and I told her, you know, I don't, I don't know what the hell, what's the point of this life anymore?

It's just, I'm struggling everywhere. I'm struggling at work, I'm struggling at home, I'm struggling with myself. Um, it's just, I don't know what the hell, you know, I'm just not happy. And, um, the only thing that was sort of getting me through this is that I always knew that if I just keep going and work as hard as I can, I'm essentially going to come out.

I don't know when. I had no clue when the other side is, you know, when the light, when I'm going to go, I'm going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I had overcome, you know, several obstacles throughout my life. to know that it's going to happen. But the challenge is that the challenge that I found was [00:46:00] as I grew older The light was always further

It wasn't like weeks or, or months. It could take years to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you make certain changes as you get older and have more responsibility and stuff. But it's gonna, you, you're gonna see eventually. That's what I told myself. You're gonna see it. Just put your head down and just keep going.

And no matter how many times you fall, just keep getting up. You know you're gonna suffer and that's okay. You know, you, you're, you can take it, you're a big boy, and, and it, it's just not a bad thing. That's, that's basically was my mentality. How do we build a mindset like that? I mean, perseverance and that's, that's a lot these days.

It's not something, you know, I see the meme all the time on social media and I, I get a laugh out of it at the same time it kind of annoys me. Where it talks about, you know, good times breed soft men, soft men breed bad times, bad times breed hard men, right? And so we, we've been on [00:47:00] a fairly good time. In the last, well, I won't say the immediate last couple of years, but in the last couple of decades of life, with the exception of some major.

Earth changing events in the last couple of years, really life has been pretty, pretty on an up point. And so a lot of people are struggling with resiliency and that mindset that comes with that. How do we build a mindset that will carry us through those times? Um, I think it's a mixture of two things.

You know, you basically, you do hard things on a daily basis, things that you struggle with. Um, and, you know, this could be as simple as waking up early, you know, for, for most people, it's, I don't think it's ever comfortable to wake up early. I wake up at like four o'clock every single day. And, um, it's, it doesn't get any easier ever, [00:48:00] but, uh, I've been doing it for so long, but I mean, that's, that's one thing.

And I think the other thing is just consistently doing things that you're bad at. Because, and I have noticed this so much throughout my life, whenever I start doing something that I'm good at, first reaction is, I want to quit. You know, just throw something at it, like, go do something else. Go, go, this is, this is too much, this is super hard.

And, um, I was actually experiencing that today, you know, working, working on a project and that, that just comes up. And, um, you just keep going, you just have to keep going and say, you know what? You keep going. It's, it's eventually you're going to figure this out, but all you have to do is not quit and the more we do that, the more we sort of get confidence in our ability to overcome because that's the only way to really, um, make it happen, you know, and you got to go through with several times and seven different situations.

[00:49:00] So, so that you know that, okay, it's here. I've hit the wall. I just got to keep going to, to, to go through that wall. Um, and it's not going to be the last wall either. Probably when I knock that one down, I'm going to run into another one down the line. And all I got to do is to just keep going and so forth.

People, uh, so I, I do obstacle course racing, uh, like Spartan races, Tough Mudders. And one of the things they, uh, like to say at Tough Mudder is, you know, when, when was the last time you did something for the first time, right? I, I love the idea. It's like, okay. You know, I, I was laughing, I was doing a race weekend before last time in Portland, Oregon, and we were going through and a couple of the guys were like, wow, and I looked at him and he was like, you can tell they're like their first event and they're kind of, I said, remember you paid to do this to yourself.

Yeah. And they're like. Yeah, we're questioning our life choices right now. [00:50:00] It's like, no, no, you man, you got to find those, you got to find those things where you're not the best. You got to find those things where you struggle and it doesn't come to you naturally, or it doesn't come to you easily and go. I can still do it.

I can still push through this. I can still learn this. I can still make those adjustments. I mean, for someone who wants to start making these changes about who they are in their life and reaching for their best self to become the men of character that they want to be, to become the men they see in their head, right?

And go, man, I want to be that. What are the first three steps that our listeners can take? Right now to start this journey. Absolutely. So first thing is you've got to define who that person is, right? Who is that? Who's that guy that you want to. Um, what does he do? What are his values? What does he do on a daily basis?

I think that's the [00:51:00] most important thing. Uh, what does his day look like? Uh, what are his habits? And what are his values? What does he value most? Um, and when you have that defined, just, um, write it down. And start doing it immediately on a daily basis. There is a saying, um, Wes Watson says this, Acquire what you admire.

And if you admire that character, just go after it. But first you need to know what it is, right? That's why I say, define it, write it down on paper, and then just start relentlessly pursuing Those, those habits, um, that you've defined and start living by those values, you know, um, I think that's, that's really the best way to go about this.

I, I'm, I mean, I certainly, I, I do this honestly, um, whenever I, I want to break down something, I just. break it down into, okay, what do I need to do on a daily basis? What are the simple, simple things? [00:52:00] Forget about the goal for a second, because the goal is too far into the future. But if I, if I need to, um, accomplish it, what are the two, three things that I need to do on this every single day, every single day, and just.

Define them and start doing them every single day. So define what you're after and then isolate the small things. I think that's, that's incredibly valuable. What you said there is we want to jump to that angle. You said, you know, it's so far out there. We want to jump, right? We live in a microwave culture where we're used to instant gratification.

So we want to jump from A to Z and skip the whole rest of the alphabet. And there are all those little steps. I was talking about this with some guys just the other night. You know, we, we, we skip all the parts that come with that. That's why so many New Year's resolutions tank so early, I think. Uh, at least in the U.

1. I don't know. I can't speak about [00:53:00] other parts of the world, but in the U. S. there's like a 86 percent failure rate on New Year's resolutions in the first two months. And it's because people will go, here's where I'm at. And I'm going to be there and they skip all the little steps in between and think, well, I'm just going to do this and that's going to put me there.

I loved Atomic Habits. Have you read Atomic Habits? Yeah. Yeah. Great book. James Clear. Absolutely. I loved him explaining that. It's like, Oh, you know what? I've done this. I've made that mistake going down that way. All the little things involved with every change and every big decision. Rummy. What is next for you?

Um, honestly for me right now, I am, my passion honestly is, is fatherhood, right? And I've, I've struggled with it. I've really struggled with it. I believe I'm in a better place, but I don't think I've made it yet. But I, [00:54:00] I think that, you know, I, I've struggled with so much that I, I have a little bit of knowledge that I hope I can, you know, transfer to other men around the world.

So that's my current project. Actually, I'm working on starting sort of a movement for men. Um, to sort of, you know, create a community of men to help them through that, you know, just how can we deal with this, you know, life changing, um, circumstances that are going to hit us all of a sudden, without, you know, without them wrecking or breaking us and actually, you know, thriving on them instead of having to, you know, Look at it as an extremely painful experience and feel like we're missing out on life That's I I think I read your stated goals from where you want to help 10, 000 men or was it a hundred thousand?

Okay, okay, so we're gonna start at 10, 000 work from there [00:55:00] Where is the best people place for people to find you my Instagram accounts? It's coach Rami Uh, that would be the best place just to reach out to me. I always answer my DMs. Uh, if there's any questions or anything, just shoot me a message. I'm always there to help.

Dyson, he has an awesome Instagram account. He does it way better than I do. So go, go check him out. If you're a social media person. Seriously, so much better than mine. He's got some, I was scrolling through it myself earlier and joining some of your Instagram reels. And it's like, man, I got my game. Like it's this guy's, this guy's got an idea going on here.

It's good. Now I know all of you are dying to know which Star Wars film has the quote. Always remember your focus, determine your reality. You said A, the Empire Strikes Back, B, the answer is actually B, The Phantom Menace. So it turns out, like, one good thing came out of that movie. Not much else, but one, one good thing.

Now, Coach, I want you to [00:56:00] close this out. If someone hears this podcast today and they hear nothing else, what is the most important thing you want to say to our audience today? Um, I would say,

uh, don't, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid of failure, uh, and just keep moving forward. Uh, failure, don't look at failure as a bad thing. Don't, don't look at pressure as a bad thing. Um, they are there to serve you, just embrace them and keep moving forward. Always move forward. That, that's, that would be it.

Just keep moving forward. Always. Guys, Coach Rami Salah. Go check him out. See what he's about. He is all about helping men. Especially in men who are approaching fatherhood or in, or into the fatherhood journey. Check out what he's got going on. Be better tomorrow because what you do today, we'll see you on the next one.[00:57:00]

This has been the Fallible Man Podcast. Your home for everything man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www. thefallibleman. com for more content and get your own fallible man gear.