Balancing Act: Work-From-Home Dads Navigating Parenting

Balancing Act: Work-From-Home Dads Navigating Parenting

Working from home offers incredible flexibility, but for dads, it often turns into kind of a juggling act between professional responsibilities and parenting duties and just being at home. Striking the right balance can feel overwhelming without a solid plan in place and can actually get you in trouble pretty quick.

In this episode of the Fallible Man podcast, we're diving into unique challenges work from home dads face and sharing essential tips to help young, help you navigate the fine line between career and family that we're all trying to find. Join us as we explore strategies to create a balanced home environment while excelling in your professional role.

Let's get into it. Here's a million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential growing to the men we dream of becoming while taking care of our responsibilities, working, living, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's the big question. And in this podcast, we'll help you with those answers and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Valued Man Podcast. [00:01:00] Right up front, let me tell you, I've been a work from home dad full time for almost three years now and I've worked hybrid part time in the office and part time out of the office from home in years before that in different roles I've had. I've learned a great deal in those three years and I've also learned a great deal from one of my dear friends.

As well, who's been work from home, dad, as long as I know, have known him. And I think actually a lot longer than that. So these insights are not from some can list somewhere. These are insights from my life that have helped me. That can hopefully help you in stabilizing that balancing act that we all tend to face as teenagers.

We're from home dads, by the way, welcome to the fallible man podcast, where we dive into everything about being a better man, husband, and father. Big shout out to fallible nation. That's our loyal longtime listeners and a warm welcome to those joining us for the first time. We appreciate you choosing to spend time with us because we know there's a lot of [00:02:00] distractions out there and a lot of things fighting for your attention.

So thanks for checking us out. So without further ado. Let's get started. Some of the pitfalls that you may face, because I want to deal with the pitfalls first, because that will help us segue into the next segment, which is about some tips, right? So if you've ever worked from home, you know, the distractions can be an easy, quick issue.

The fifth, we know that's came out totally wrong. We know that distractions can be a quick issue that show up really fast. When you work from home showing up, dress down those air quotes for all of us, because you don't have to dress up for the office because, well, you don't have to, I will admit it is nice to be able to come in here in my gym shorts and work some days, but it can actually damage your perception of work and your priority because you're used to having to [00:03:00] prepare for it.

So therefore it's a higher level of professionalism and a higher priority to you because you have to. Prepare to go to work, right? It actually, it changes our view of it in the hierarchy because you actually have to make the effort to get ready. So dressing down can actually really damage you from dressing at home.

It can make you lazier and more complacent when no one's really watching that clock. It's easy to get out of bed a little bit later and forgo the shower or, you know, have issues like really need to mow that lawn. You know what? I can get that done on a break time. Are other issues. I'm sure you have a lot of honey do list.

I have a lot of projects around this house that really need my attention that I never feel like I have time for. And it's really easy to try and sneak some of those in because you're at home. Well, those things are distracting or if your home's messy or whatever, right? Working from home [00:04:00] actually requires a pretty decent level of self discipline and integrity, integrity.

And that's all before having kids come into the situation. Now, for those dads with kids at home, such as my children are homeschooled. And my friends that I mentioned earlier, his kids are, some of them are homeschooled, some of them are highbred schooled, and some of them go to school. It's, it's quite a thing, because now he's running kids in between things.

There are a few more pitfalls for those dads who are working at home. Then the average person working at home, if you have family at home, and that could be your wife, or that could be your kids, but today we're going to deal with kids specifically, your dad habits start to kick in when you work from home, dad, and your dad habits just rule, right?

If you love being a dad, your dad habits rule. [00:05:00] And if your kids are at home, well, then it's really easy for those dab habits to kick in, like helping your kids when they have questions on whatever they're doing. Sorry, I need some water. Uh, interruptions when they think, and I'm using air quotes, that they have a valid reason to interrupt because your kids will come up with creative reasons to interrupt until you teach them otherwise.

Helping out with things like breakfast and lunch can be distracting. Your kids think that if they're on break, you're on break too. I've had to work on that one with my kids because they're taking a break from classes. Doesn't mean daddy gets to take a break. Your spouse may think that you can help with things.

Because while you're there, you can just take a quite little pause out of your day. Right? Because you're there and your kids think that too. They're like, Oh, well, well, dad's here. He can do [00:06:00] this. And not necessarily. You start to think that you can do things in multitask and it attracts you. Like I said, mowing that lawn, it's like, man, I need to get that done.

I haven't done it in weeks. My neighbors are starting to give me funny looks. These things can add up really, really quick on your life. And that can be bad. These things can become major issues in your professional life, even quicker. And that's really, really dangerous for your professional life. I've seen a lot of parents and dads specifically who had their work from home ability waylaid, even redacted by their companies.

are worse fired because work from home didn't work. As I said, without children, without people in your home, uh, without family members there, it takes a lot of self discipline to work from home effectively. It's even more so when you add that you have family members at home during the [00:07:00] day, maybe your wife works and you are from home or she works from home and you Right?

That's, that's takes a lot of self discipline, but when you add lots of people at home, it becomes even more complicated. And these things become really big issues for your professional life. I will say that there's truly more acceptance for work from home moms to have a air quotes mom interruption during the workday than for dad to have a dad interruption based on societal expectations of parenting roles.

Now, those are some of the pitfalls and I didn't want to spend a whole lot of time on those. Because they're pretty self explanatory. I mean, nothing I said was complicated. If you work from home, then, you know, if you work from home and you have family members at home as well, then you really know. So in this next segment, we're going to talk about some tips to help make this work for you right after a message from our sponsors, a large retail store, just [00:08:00] canceled a huge order, leaving us with a ton of extra, my pillows, but you know what?

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[00:09:00] Now, tip number one, know your schedule requirements. Be really, really, really, really clear up front with your work as to what your hours look like and what your schedule looks like. Um, some people who work from home have strict strict schedules, just like they were reporting to an office or a facility with a set shift and set hours.

Right. Some have more task or project based performance and you have a little more flexibility in your schedule. You have work to do, but as long as it's delivered on time, you have some leeway in getting things done. Some people like me have a lot of wiggle wiggle room because I dictate my schedule entirely because everything I do is project and priority base.

So don't make the mistake from working from home as a total control of your schedule, if that's not the [00:10:00] case, because a lot of people, they get to work from home and all of a sudden they just loosen up on everything. Like I said, they show up in shorts and. and they think they can just kind of show up whenever they're there and they don't really have to pay as much attention.

Know your schedule, know your hours, know your requirements and what your company or your work expects from you and be really, really solid and clear about that.

Sorry guys, I'm thirsty today. Number two, set clear boundaries for your work area and or your schedule. If you know your schedule and how it works, then you need to clean it. Communicate that clearly to the other people in your household. For example, I worked from home at one point in my career, and when I walked into my office, I closed the door and only came out to go to the bathroom or get coffee.

I stayed there through the entirety of my work day [00:11:00] because I was on the clock, very monitorable, and I had set office hours. I was at the office and there was zero disturbing me. It was the same as if I had gone to the office and my current setup, if my studio door is closed, like it is right now, I'm not to be disturbed.

If it's open, a person can come in, then they wait there to be acknowledged. The adults are pretty good about it. I've trained my children to wait to be acknowledged because I'm usually in headphones. And they don't know exactly what's going on. They may get my attention right then, or I may tell them I need X amount of minutes or time, and I'll talk to them.

Then it depends on what I'm doing. I have trained my kids to understand this and to accept this, which is going to go into our next point of have clear hours. Part of setting boundaries is having really, really, really clear hours that you [00:12:00] work. They need, these need to be clear from your company. When you're expected to work, because work tends to creep in if you're not careful.

And if you work from home bosses, some bosses, I've had some good bosses who didn't, but there are some bosses who think, well, you work from home anyway, so you're always available because you're always at the office. So be really clear from your company or boss to you about what your hours are. And then you must be really clear with your household.

I want to highlight this because anyone who's worked from home has likely experienced that professional creep that I was talking about into your life, where you do little extras because it's right there and you've got a solid work ethic and you want to get ahead and it's really easy when you don't have something else that you're in the middle of.

Oh, I can check those emails real quick for work or I can do this, right? I had a friend who's a recovering workaholic. That's what I call him. Because for [00:13:00] years he has this incredible work ethic and he worked from home and it was just so easy for him to do a little more or to stay on a little later or to jump online for a little while and work while he had nothing else to do that at the time, right?

If he didn't have something else else in the schedule and it led him into being a workaholic. Now I'm, I'm very happy to say that he's taking steps back from that and it's controlling his life and his work life balance a lot better. But if you work from home, you've likely run into this at some point.

Well, your family, they're going to be odds with your job in a massive way without clearly defined work hours that you adhere to. So make sure you tell this line, make sure you have a clear understanding from the people you report to and make sure the people who connect with you on a regular basis in your household have a clear understanding.

This is my schedule on when I work [00:14:00] and when I don't. And your family will respect your work from home boundaries a lot more. If you're really strong about here's the line. If my kids know I'm done at four or I'm done at five or whatever time, then that thing can wait. If they know that I am definitely turning it all off at four and walking away from work, then they have a lot more confidence in, Oh yeah, we can wait because they know there's a hard boundary.

So have clear hours that you work and make sure that's communicated between all the necessary people, including your family and have those set hours. Because if you don't, it will increase the difficulty of your work from home with your family. Because if you don't have those set boundaries of out, this is the hours I work, then they're just going to come at you whenever they need to, because they know you're not really going to walk away from it.

Number four guys is learn to be present. Now this is [00:15:00] continuation. You'll notice all these points are. They kind of stack on each other. There's a reason. Number four is to learn to be present. Part of the boundaries is respecting and adhering to your own rules. Via think hours we just talked about, right?

So when you're at work, be at work, manage your work area to minimize distractions, be present in your job, be focused and do your job to the best of your abilities. When you're not at work, then be present with the rest of your life. Frequent interruptions by your loved ones. When you work from home as a work from dad.

isn't just about weak boundaries because you haven't set those, but it's also a sign that your family doesn't feel like they're getting your full present intention when you are with them. My children rarely interrupt me anymore during my work day when they do is because they need something that no one else can deliver.

Uh, vis a vis, they can't reach something that they actually need for a school project or something because [00:16:00] I'm tall and I tend to stick things high. But, and it has to do with a school project. It doesn't have to do with, they just want something that's out of reach. When I tell them, I will do that, take care of that or discuss that with you at a different time, I provide a specific time and place that we will address that issue if it can wait, that is accepted by them because they know that's, what's going to happen.

If I said, no, we'll discuss that after school, four 30, we'll figure that out, then they'll wait. If it's not a pressing need that has to be taken care of instantly because they know I'm going to be present at four 30 to take part in that discussion or do whatever needs to be done. Now I'm not perfect, but my batting average is pretty good.

So my kids are okay with that answer because they know when it's their time, they get all of me. [00:17:00] They know when it's their time. They can call me out. If I happen to stray from it being on me, if I pick up my phone when I shouldn't or something like that. So have those set boundaries, but respect your rules and learn to be present in each segment of your life.

Your family will respect your boundaries for work from home a lot more when you stick to those hardline hours. And they know when you're off work hours. You're with them in present. It is incredibly, incredibly important. Otherwise your work from home life could be pretty complicated, pretty quickly.

Number five, proactive management. I couldn't quite figure out how to term this, so let me see if I can explain it better than that title. If you have multiple people with multiple schedules, then you may have to get pretty creative with your work from home situation. For instance, my wife drives school buses in the mornings and the afternoons.

[00:18:00] So she is not home when my children are getting ready for their day and getting out of bed. So in response, I have switched things around and I get my children up earlier in the morning than they used to get up when I wasn't the one in charge of that to make this work. I've rescheduled their day because I have more control over that than mine sometimes.

So they now get up earlier and start their day. earlier so that anything that they would need help with by me is done by the time that they are ready to start school. The need for my oversight on their day starting out is now completed in time for both them to start school and me to start my office hours for the day.

So I had to get a little proactive in my management of the schedules that impact my life and that my life impacts to make it work. I also take my lunch with them. And in that time I touch [00:19:00] base with them and my wife to sync up on our schedules, our concerns, or anything we need to talk about for the rest of the day.

That is a touch point which works in all of our schedules. I used to eat at my desk. I don't, I try not to do that very often anymore because that gives me that touch point outside of my studio. We're all on break together for that lunch and it's what's worked for us. Gentlemen, as we wrap up today's episode, it's clear that working from home as a dad presents unique challenges, even more so than working from home without kids.

But with intentional planning, clear boundaries and a proactive mindset, It's entirely possible to balance your professional responsibility with your family life. Don't get me wrong, there will likely be some places where you've got to do some growing together as a family. You've got to kind of train each other to move into these new paradigms where it works, especially if you've never worked from home [00:20:00] with kids before.

Remember, it's about creating a sustainable routine that works for both your career And your loved ones, because we are more than just one thing. We're not just men. We're not just men who go to work. We're not just men who have relationships or men who have children. We're all that together.

Professionals, husbands, fathers, boyfriends. Life is not that vanilla that we're only just clearly one thing. So it's all about finding that routine that works for both parts of your life. That are important to you. Now, before you go, guys, I want to invite you to join our bi weekly mailing list, uh, sign up it's down in the show notes, you'll receive exclusive content, updates, practical tips to help you navigate your journey as a husband, father, and a man, as well as insider looks and insights and our free ebook foundations of change, which is all about the steps that no [00:21:00] one tells you about how to get your life ready to implement real change in your life.

Because there's a lot of changes that have to happen for you to be ready for change. Link is in the show notes and description. I don't spam you guys. It's a labor of love. I actually love writing my bi weekly newsletter. I take a lot of time to do it because I want to give you guys incredible, incredible insights and tips and advice in there.

And it is exclusive content that doesn't show up in my show at all. So be sure and check that out. We'd love to have you join that mailing list. And I think you'll really benefit from foundations of change. I wrote it literally as my work. I wrote it because of my own experience with working with a coach.

I found out there were so many things in my life I had to change in order for me to even start doing the work with my coach that I needed to do. So check that out. Guys, thanks for tuning in today into the Fallible Man podcast. Until next time, remember, be better [00:22:00] tomorrow because of what you do today.

We'll see you on the next one. This has been the Fallible Man podcast. Your home for everything man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www. thefallibleman. com for more content and get your own Fallible Man gear.