Asking a Neuropsychotherapist her Thoughts on Creating a Champion Mindset

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The The Fallible Man LLC Man Podcast, your home for all things man husband and father. Big shout out to The Fallible Man LLC nation. You guys make these shows possible. And a warm welcome to our first time listeners. My name is Brent, and today my special guest is executive performance coach Elizabeth Louis.

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Elizabeth. Welcome to the The Fallible Man LLC Man Podcast. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. I've got to admit, I was reading through all it was like, wow, you just are willing to talk about so much.

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So I'm excited about the show. Liz, I don't do really big intros because that just doesn't I get to look you up before the show, but that doesn't explain it to my guests. So in your own words, who is Elizabeth Louis? I'm going to steal your words because we're so brilliant. I'm a work in progress.

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That is who I am. I'm a work in progress who's an absolute nerd who wants to be my best self and encourage people to love unconditionally and make the impossible possible. Wow. See, that was so simple and straight to the point. I have some people, I asked that question, they're like, I don't really know how to answer that.

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It's a hard question.

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One thing I've learned over my small life existence right now is that humans like to simplify things. When most things are complicated, I like to simplify things. I'll definitely admit that we like overly. Simplify things, though I think sometimes we forget to hold the complexity. I actually never felt bad about asking people that question until I got asked that as a podcast guest once, and then I was like, I have a whole new respect now for my guest.

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Oh, yeah. There is something about doing shows live and doing and being on both sides because you have to be fast at thinking. Sometimes I'm like, wait, could I go back in time and answer that question now that I have the perfect thing to say? My background is in television producing, and they would always say in screenwriting class that's when you have a great script is when you're driving down the car going, oh, why didn't I say that? That's what you put in the script.

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Liz, what is an executive performance coach? That is a great question. Ultimately, what I do is I work with C suite and entrepreneurs and small business owners to help them optimize their mindset, optimize their company, optimize their culture and achieve their goals quickly and efficiently. I feel like, what, 25 years ago, mentors were a little bit more accessible in companies. And so you had that leadership skills, you had that person to always hone and develop you.

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And now we've made it more of an external thing of where you bring that person in. That's what I do is I work with people to help them really build the right psychology, because much of life comes down to psychology. I think we have these business terms and we think that they're a little bit more tangible, when in reality, it's more of a way of thinking, okay. Now let me stop here. And you have two advanced degrees, is that correct?

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Is that what I read? Almost. I'm finishing my second one. Yeah. What are those degrees?

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So I have a completed one in positive Psychology with a subspecialty in coaching psychology. I'm finishing up my second degree in clinical mental health counseling with the subspecialty in neuropsychology. And that just allows me to be a therapist because it is a privileged word. And I technically do have a partial and industrial and organizational psychology for a doctorate, but I just got nothing. Wow.

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Okay. So you really are a book nerd.

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I say this lightly, but college is a bunch of crap at some point. I am disgusted at how little you learn to become a therapist, because it's like the standard program. It really doesn't matter where you go school wise, because you have to do it if you're going to whatever. And it's so sad how little they actually learn. Like, I'm learning if you really want to be amazing at something, you have to go and do the real research and read the real books on your own.

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Like, school just teaches you the framework. If you're really passionate about something, you go out and you do it yourself. So it was funny because by the time I got to my second graduate degree, I was like, I've read, like, half these books. I was going through a book list just the other day. Those social media things you see, right?

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Ten books you have to read, blah, blah, blah, if you want to be successful at this. And there's some good information on some of those infographics, but I was flipping through, and it was like, read it. Reading it.

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Standing in Barnes and Nobles with my kids. I'm, like, looking at number one bestsellers in business. I'm like, read it if you're willing to put it in. There's just so much to take in and learn, right. I'm always amazed at how much there is at our fingertips anymore.

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Well, that actually has changed the way business runs nowadays, too. I just wish that I could read as fast as I could buy a book.

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That would be really useful. Right. And not just speed read. I mean, like, read. Absorb.

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Exactly. Absorb. Good work, Liz. You grew up in a really rough situation, in your own words, surrounded by fear, abuse, and violence. How do you go from that origin to helping people shape their best lives?

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So it was a fluke, to be honest. My brother has psychopathic tendencies, and he tried killing me my whole life as a kid. But when I was living at home, I moved out when I was 16, and I remember going to therapy and being like, I just want transformation. I just want to stop dealing with the complex PTSD, which is what I was diagnosed with at 26, and I just wanted freedom, and no therapist could give me that, which, I mean, they can't give it to you, and I understand that, but, like, no one could show me the steps. So that's why I got my first degree in positive psychology, because I was like, well, heck, I'll just figure this out myself since nobody can tell me.

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And I started to become a little obsessed with neuroscience at the same time, too. And so I was studying neuroscience and psychology, and I was just using me as a guinea pig. And lo and behold, I ended up walking out of the trauma, walking out of some of the symptoms at the time. I had an autoimmune disease. I was having some weird brain conditions.

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I had all these, like, horrible conditions. I had no immune system. And so I didn't just change my psychology. I ended up completely changing my health, too, which they are related. People forget about that.

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And so then when I realized, like, oh, I'm good at this, because my professors gave me some of their overflow, their overflow clients, and I ended up just being, like, good at it, and then the rest was history. So you went to fix yourself. Yeah.

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So you got into it to, in essence, save yourself. Oh, yeah. And you know what? I can help other people, too, when I have a knack for this. And here you are.

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Right. And you said you had a television industry background. Television production. Yeah, that's a big job. I had a model when I was 15, and I went behind the camera around 20 and my undergraduate degrees in television producing, and I was like, I don't want to do this.

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I really wanted to get freedom, though. I was like, I feel like I'm mint tortured right now, and I just didn't like it. Okay. It's finding the right thing. People don't understand.

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Sometimes finding the right thing isn't necessarily the most financially beneficial thing, or it might be, but finding the right thing is highly more important sometimes than chasing a certain income goal or a certain profession. Just finding what you're meant to do, where you're meant to go, who you're meant to be, has so much power to it. Yeah. And that's really the path I took. I remember walking across the stage to get my diploma when I graduated late for undergrad.

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I think I was, like, 24 or something. I was like, I don't want to do this. And then I was just like, well, I don't know what I want to do. I felt lost, and, I mean, I was struggling, and so I was just like, you know what? I'm just going to work on fixing myself.

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It's almost like the gym Roan quote, which I cannot tell you verbatim, but it's something like, if you work on yourself, money will come. Or I think Warren Buffett has said something similar and that's kind of the path I took, which was, I don't really want to figure out my career. I want to figure out how to be healthy and how to normalize some of the weird experiences and traumas I had to endure to get to where I am now. But that's the thing. Like, your curses can become your biggest blessing if you stick with a certain mindset or a certain viewpoint that shifts everything.

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At the end of the day, I. Have to ask, because you had it in your bio question, you answer, what is a neuropsychotherapist? I say, that right, yeah, neuropsychotherapist. So the traditional and I'm putting it on an air quote traditional therapists focus on your emotions and your feelings. A neuropsychotherapist is going to focus on your brain and behavior.

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I'm sorry. Yeah, your brain and behavior connections. The brain is going faster than I can talk right now. And then they kind of factor in the emotions and the feelings. So when I first meet a client, I'm listening to their linguistics because that helps me identify where certain parts of their brain are impoverished so that we can feed them and rebalance their neurology for them to have a little bit healthier.

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Psychology, I mean, the human body works together. When your bicep goes, it's only a matter of time for the shoulder goes and the chest goes. Right. And it's the same with our sick psychology. Thinking changes your neurology.

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And so I'm listening for those areas that are over, underdeveloped in the brain. And then we're shifting. Now some neuropsychotherapists use, like MRIs and more of a heavy technical gear to look at some of the developments of the brain. Okay, so what we're saying is I should be anxious as we talk. Notch King I have a friend who is a content analyst for military Intelligence.

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He just had people write down their statements and then go in and question them based on what they said in their written statements and stuff. And we were at dinner one night, and I signed my credit card receipt. He's like, you and your dad getting a fight today. Stop analyzing me. It was always there with him.

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That's awesome. But I always just teased him about it. Your handwriting, too, then? Yeah. He does handwriting and content analysis.

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Yeah. Talking to him was always interesting. I was like, I'm going to come away and wondering, does she think I'm a psycho now? No, I don't. Kind of going back to my statement of, like, complicated.

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Humans are complicated. We're not really good or bad. I can't stand when my clients come in and they're like, I'm a good person. Like, you're not.

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You have effed up thoughts. We all do. It's not about being a good or bad person. At the end of the day, it's acknowledging the complicated aspects of us and working out that selfishness and that self righteousness that really destroys us. If you could have lunch with anyone in history and talk to them.

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Who would that be? Why? Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

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Why? I mean, my face really important to me. And this might sound rude, but I don't really care about other people's belief systems in that aspect to me, just to know what Jesus knew and to go through the frustrations of life, like, gosh, I just would want to learn how to hold more onto your face and really what's important and to stay. I don't know if you've ever been confrontational and you got nervous. Like, God, I would just love to learn how to be, like, slightly confrontational and not be nervous and still do it in a loving way.

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Now, I'm curious, though, who would you have lunch with or dinner with? Oh, man. That's a really, really difficult question, because the faith side of me definitely says Jesus, right? Yeah. Although I'm more inclined to go with Peter than Jesus, even.

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Okay. I want to know why? Because Peter gives me hope. If someone can screw up as bad as Peter and still feel it right. That gives me hope.

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Right. Wait, moses killed a person, and God calls him the most humble person to exist. Well and David had an affair and murdered a man over it and called him a man out of his own heart. But Peter walked alongside Jesus. Yeah.

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His daily life, and screwed up over and over, and he was rash, and he just went off the handle. He cut off the servants a year. He stepped out of the boat and started right. Peter was the one who was like, if you're really God, let me get out of the boat too. Right.

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That is true. I've never heard somebody say Peter before. That is an awesome answer. And then your explanation, that helped shift my perspective, so thank you. You're very welcome.

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That's pretty cool. What is your favorite ice cream? I don't like ice cream. No, I know. I'm not a weird person.

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I don't like ice cream. I don't mind frozen yogurt. It's all good to Dairy Queen, but I'm really boring. I just get a twist in a cone. Yeah.

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You know what? I think you are the second person I've ever interviewed that didn't like ice cream. I'm not a big fan of, like, cream and sugar. Okay, well, what's the go to dessert. I like carbs.

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Carbs, carbs. Pastries. Give me some pastries. Give me some french fries. And carbs.

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Sarah is doing big thumbs up in the background. You can't see her, but that's Sarah's goto she give her that cinnamon roll or just a good loaf of sourdough. Right. I don't know if you guys have a public, but publix really does have really good sourdough. We don't.

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Well, I've worked back east, so I've been to the public, but we don't have one out here that I know of. They've got good sourdough, and it's consistent. I love sourdough. So, Liz, before we go into our break for the second half of the show. What is warrior psychology?

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What is I'm sorry. What is a warrior psychology? What is this concept? Yes. For me, a warrior psychology is having tremendous mental tough minded, strength, resilience, and a healthy self confidence that keeps you moving forward and giving love unconditionally, even if people don't deserve it, and maintaining an optimistic viewpoint.

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It's like you practice and know these things or something. Spent a lot of time studying them. And ironically, my boyfriend, he was a sergeant major in Delta Force, and he survived three helicopter crashes, broke his back in one. And it's funny to read the literature on champion and warrior psychology and then knowing a true war hero, and you walked out of a freaking textbook on this stuff, so it's crazy to study it. And then I've had the privilege of working with some professional athletes and knowing my boyfriend, obviously, just to see how, like, it's not just like, sometimes you read psychology and it's like, great, that's the perfect scenario.

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Right. Like, nobody's really like this. Exactly. But to meet people like this, to me, just gives me so much hope, because it's like, if one person can do it, then you can do it, too, and it's just crazy. But it takes a certain mindset, and within that mindset is a certain focus.

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One of the things I tell men in the The Fallible Man LLC, man, is there are those 1% people, right? People look at people like David Goggins and like Jacob Willink and some of the guys who have kind of put a presence on YouTube where you can see him and stuff, guys who are exceptional elite Special Forces guys and stuff, most men will never be them physically, necessarily. That perfect combination of genetics, discipline, mental space, like their head space. Right. All of those elements coming together.

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There is such thing as that 1% athlete or that 1% professional. But you can imitate a lot of what they do. You can learn from a lot of that, but you can imitate it to the best you want. You're probably not going to be David Goggins, right. And that's okay because you're not fully.

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Exactly. And one thing that's important to just, like, highlight, too, is that people who are really good at war, they struggle on the opposite side, too, because at home, there's no war. Yeah. And so sometimes people fantasize about things that they want to have when it really would change everything about them if they had that. Yeah.

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They don't know what that changes in you. Right. Or some of the pain points. Exactly. Guys, we've been getting to know Liz so far, and in the second half show, we're going to dive into creating a championship mindset or a champion mindset.

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We're going to bring in this warrior psychology with it. All right, guys, we're back. And we're here with Elizabeth Louis discussing creating the championship mindset in the first half of the show, we were getting to spend some time with Liz and getting to know who she is and just having a great conversation. And this half the show, we're really going to dig into creating that champion mindset and how you can do that in your life. Now, Liz, what purchase of $100 or less did you make in the last year that's had the most impact on your life?

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You just expect me to know that? At the top of my mind. Okay, feel like I'm not good under pressure right now, but $100? I don't know. That's a great question.

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I don't know if anything has necessarily changed my life of one thing. I mean, I read and study and I learned so much that I think the one thing that I've learned that's changed my life is a, the more I learn, the more I realize I know nothing, and B, it really is as simple as just making up your mind and doing it.

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There's no wrong answer to this question. I had one guy tell me the most impactful thing he bought for $100 in the last year was a pair of jim shorts. The most impactful? Yeah. And he loved it so much, he bought like, eight more pairs at $70 a pair.

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Well, look, I get that, like, I have women, and us women, we have a hard time finding clothes. So when you find something you like, you buy it all, you know? What $100 left? I don't know. I was going to say I bought a 49 inch monitor that really changed my life, but it was not under $100.

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I've been drilling over those. Is it the curved one? I've been drilling over those. Prime Day, man, not two days ago, I was looking at one on Amazon on Prime Day. I saved like $500.

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Yeah, that's the key part. Prime Day would be the time. What's the most impactful thing you've bought that's under $100? Under $100.

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I honestly always have to go back to books. Yeah. And I have a lot of people say that I would have to go back to books because reading so many books over the course of the year, I mean, I really digest my books and it changes. And I if you don't respond in the way you're living, in the way you're doing things to a book you read, the book really wasn't that great. Agree.

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That's why my response was those two things. The more I learned, the more I realized I knew nothing. But my issue is I read so much that I can't always tell you, like, the book that I'm reading because I don't pay attention to the title or the author might sound horrible. Yeah, I'm reading four right now. Yeah, that's my biggest problem.

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Me too. And I'm like, why can't I just read one book and finish it? But I get so excited that I'm like, I'm going to read more but also when we were in grade school and even college, you read twelve books at once. What the hell is the difference? Right?

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Well, I've got the ones I'm reading for the podcast, right? Because I have a hard rule about I won't discuss an author's book without reading it first. So I'm reading books for the podcast and I'm reading books for my business, then I'm just reading. And so it's like, what am I doing? I love audiobooks.

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They save my head on so many things. That's just not my way I process, which is weird because I participate with Masterclass and I have so many bloody therapy trainings and I do it fine, but like, with a book, I struggle, but sometimes it's the narrator and I just want to like football spike the narrator. But I recently started using like short form and blink list or whatever it is, where you just get the spine of the book. And that's not terrible because some look like they just repeat themselves. You're like two thirds of the way through.

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You're like, yeah, you could finish this and not finish it. I got this .5 chapters ago. Still on it. Yeah, business books do that. I've looked at blink list several times just for business books, particularly.

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Yeah, but some books then I start reading it's like, oh, I love this. I grew up a preacher's kid. My dad also used to run a lot of large scale conferences and stuff. So I grew up listening to speakers constantly, like really good speakers. And so my brain is trained to take a lot from auditory listening.

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Like lecture style classes and stuff work for me. Yeah, I get that. I mean, I'm a social learner, so I can learn in lots of different ways. But for me, if it's a boring narrator, I'm out. Yeah, that has reigned.

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A couple of books for me, I've had a couple where I started and it's like, I cannot listen to this for seven and a half hours. Someone will die. It won't be good. It's you know, because it's not just. The sound of their voice, it's the cadence and it's timing.

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There's so many things that play into it. There are. And we could probably go on and on and on about that, probably. But we should actually probably talk about what the show is about, I guess. I suppose this is the problem.

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I start talking to my guests. I have so much fun talking to my guests and I get distracted on the rabbit trails. That's so bad. Elizabeth, how would you define a championship mindset? A champion mindset is where you believe you can make the impossible possible.

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Where you're tough minded, but more specifically a tough minded optimist. You have a healthy self confidence, you use your focus in a correct way, and you do not struggle with fear stopping you. So you might still have fear, but it doesn't stop you.

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So how does warrior psychology break down into building that championship mindset? How do we start putting those together to achieve the goals we want? Yeah, that's a great question. Well, one thing that is key for the champion mindset is having a winning attitude already. And that means you have to come with the expectation to win.

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But obviously we can't control if we're going to win or lose. So that also means seeing winning as very expansive. Sometimes when I interview the true war heroes or professional athletes or those people where we're like, oh, your mindset is amazing, the one thing that I consistently hear is their relationship with failure. If you do something and you don't get the results you want, but it allows you to move forward by 1%, that's not a failure, that's a success.

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And so my point in saying that is when you do something, you're always actually moving forward. You're not moving backwards, especially when you have that champion mindset, if that makes sense. Now, I get that entirely. I know one of the things that I picked up being around those guys, I used to be at a Special forces base, and all of them go in with the mindset of winning is the only option. I can't perceive anything else going into the situation.

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I have to be prepared for other outcomes and how to respond to those. So I'm ready for it. But failure isn't an option. I'm going to succeed at this and if something happens, this is how I'm going to respond to it. And I'm so happy you said that.

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One thing we also have to remember is like special Forces, I mean, it's practice, practice, practice. It's muscle memory by the time they're in play, if you will. And so they're so confident in their abilities, they trust themselves, they know how to do it. That is part of the champion equation. And a lot of people don't like to practice.

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A lot of people don't like to do the preparation work. Yet when you study a champion psychology, you study the professional athletes, the war heroes, they spend 98% of their time practicing. And a lot of us are just like, no, put me in the game. I'm just ready to go. And it's like, if you don't have the right mindset, you're going to crumble.

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Have you read the book atomic Habits by James Claire? I've not read it, but I'm very familiar with it in the sense of I've heard a lot about it and I've read the big picture notes. What do you think of the concept of just building habits? Go ahead. Sorry.

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About building habits. Right. You talk about them practicing all the time about building those little habits that build on each other. I mean, it's literally the compound effect to a degree, right? That's how it works.

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I encourage people to take a step backwards. There's an awesome proverb that comes from Lao zoo that is pretty on point. Neuroscience has proven it. Other face systems have proven it. But watch your thoughts, they become words.

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Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become your habit. Watch your habit that becomes your character. Watch your character, that becomes your destiny. So it's better to really hone in on your thoughts and where your thoughts are going and what you're saying so you can build the healthy habits.

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I think that people need to remember that best selling books, that's a business. At the end of the day, some of the best books out there are the worst books to read. I'm just going to say that big picture, not necessarily about atomic, not the book that we're talking about, but at the end of the day, it takes on average 65 days to build a habit. That's what neuroscience has proven. US people say different.

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I always encourage people to get really clear on your why and on the mindset. It would have to be consistent and really figure out what your core issues are. One thing that separates me from a lot of coaches and therapists out there is I don't care, care about your symptoms. I care about your core roots. And I want to pull your roots.

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Because if we can pull your roots, we can get radical transformation a lot quicker. And that's a lot easier to do than people. I think it's really easy to build a life where you just go through the motions. And so I kind of like slightly get frustrated with some of the books out there that talk about habits because it just seems like you're going through the motions and you're trying to be busy versus creating a truly rewarding and satisfactory life. Okay.

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One of the things I took away from atomic habits I actually liked out of it was the focus on the habit. Below the habit. Below the habit. Yeah. I do appreciate that they did that.

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Because we get to that, right? It's the whole reason that New Year's resolutions tank. Someone goes to the extremes like, I've never been in the gym my life, but I'm going to work out five days a week starting January 5. Fear motivating them, nothing else. Right?

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And when avoidance motivates you, you always fail. Well, but they skipped over so many things going from zero to 1000 just right. There's no habit to build on. So I appreciated that about it, but I bring it up because you were talking about practice, right? Yeah.

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That psychology of practicing and just learning to trust yourself and trust that you've put in the reps that you've put in the time that when you are tested, you're okay. And really what we're talking about is the growth mindset. One thing that Special forces talks about, war heroes, professional athletes, is they trust their efforts. They know what they're going to do. And so if you can learn how to perfect the process of implementing your.

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Effort. You can go really far in life because at the end of the day, the only thing you have control over is yourself and how you use your effort.

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So overall, a championship mindset, fairly healthy mindset for men to try and obtain, right? Absolutely, because it's also a relationship with yourself. I mean, much of life comes down to having a healthy self esteem, self efficacy, self worth and self confidence. If you don't have those self disciplined traits and it's going to be difficult to do anything. I mean, if you look at something, you're like, no, I can't do that.

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And that's just for automatic thought. Oh, great. That's where you start. In a time when we have the toxic masculine culture kicking, we both agree that's not necessarily a healthy option. Some people might be opposed to championship mindset, but we're saying this is a healthy option and something worth pursuing for men.

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You have to remember that psychology is a bunch of theories. There's such thing as toxic positivity, says a lot of people that are realist. Realism is another word for pessimism. At the end of the day, you can't agree with everyone. You can only agree with your truth and what you feel resonates with you.

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Everyone is going to have an opinion, everyone is going to disagree. To some degree, I think that toxic masculinity is missing some really strong contextual points, which is when you are so competitive that you're being an ahole, yeah, we got an issue. When you are being so competitive that you struggle with jealousy and bitterness. Yeah, we have an issue, but jealousy and bitterness and if only and other toxic thinking are an issue across the board, it doesn't matter if you're male or female or of a okay, Liz. What'S the most important takeaway from today's conversation you want people to hear?

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I mean, whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. Henry Ford nailed it with the mindset. I mean, it is amazing what our brains can do. And really what I'm saying is our mind the brain and the mind is different. It's just amazing.

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So everything you believe about yourself right now, you are manifesting faith and fear are equal in substance. Which one are you going to subscribe to? What's next for Elizabeth Louis? What's next? Doing some speaking events, working on my YouTube channel, and soon I will have a second or a third course out.

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It's. Liz's optimism bootcamp. So it teaches people how to shift from pessimistic thinking to optimistic thinking. Right now, Elizabeth, is the website the best place to find you? Yes, I spend most of my time on LinkedIn or on my website and here and there on Instagram and Facebook and TikTok, also YouTube.

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All right, guys, I'm going to have all of Liz's links down in the description, as always, and in the show notes. We will make sure that you can connect with her. Liz, thank you for taking the time to be on the show today and share with us. Good luck on your podcasting journey. Liz also has the Liz Show podcast.

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You guys still have to check out. She has taken a little bit of a hiatus, but she is getting back into the swing of it. And you guys can get more talk with Elizabeth over there as well. Guys, as always, be better tomorrow because of what you do today. And we'll see you on the next one.