Raising Remarkable Daughters: Insights from a Dad of Six

Calling all dads, this one's specifically for you. Now, all parents are welcome moms. You can be here too, but today I'm getting to talk to highly successful entrepreneur, Gino Barbaro. Now Gino has everything from real estate to restaurants. He has four very successful podcasts on his own. And with a partner and with a spouse.

But one of the things Gino doesn't get to talk about is being a dad. So today on this episode of the Fallible Man podcast, we're talking about being dads, but we're specifically talking about girl dads because Gino has six kids and five of them are girls. I don't get to talk about being a dad near enough for my taste.

I have two daughters, Gino has five. And in this episode, we're specifically talking about being a girl dad. Everything we're going to cover is going to apply to all your children, but this is something that Gino and I were looking forward to because it's not something we get to go down the road down very often.

By the end of this episode, I promise you will understand how to connect with your daughters better. You'll [00:01:00] understand how to communicate with your daughters better and how to raise them to be the strong, independent women you want them to be. Guys, I'm really excited about this episode. Gino was so much fun to talk to.

The last came easy. I can't tell you enough. The next hour is going to be so good for you and your children. I promise. So let's get into it. Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential, growing to the men we dream of becoming while taking care of our responsibilities, working, living, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves.

Well, that's the big question. And in this podcast, we'll help you with those answers and more. My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man podcast. Welcome to the Fallible Man podcast. Your home for all things, man, husband, and father, big shout out to Fallible Nation. Those are the long time listeners and we would love for you to join that group and a warm welcome to our first time listeners.

Hey, There is a lot competing for your attention these days. So we really appreciate from our hearts that you would [00:02:00] take the time to give us a chance. Be sure and connect with me at the fallible man on most social medias, especially where I'm active on Instagram. Let me know what you thought of the show.

I'd love to hear what you think about it. If you really enjoyed it, share it with a friend who needs it or leave us a review on Apple podcasts that helps us get in front of more people. My name is Brent. And today, my special guest is investor, entrepreneur, podcaster and father, Gino Barbaro. Gino, I'm sure I butchered that.

Welcome to the Fallible Man podcast.

Gino Barbaro: Bren, thanks for having me. This is like, I had to look up the word fallible and the word fallible means capable, I'm sure you know what it means. Capable of making mistakes or being erroneous. So I am in the right place this morning. Just want to let you know, thanks for having me on.

I am in my new home right now. So how are you doing?

David Dowlen: Awesome. Awesome. Well, it's early morning here and I'm only halfway through a cup of coffee. So we'll see the interview. We'll get better as we go, guys. I promise more caffeine. Do you know how is your trivia skills?

Gino Barbaro: Trees

David Dowlen: goes, well, we'll see,

you know, [00:03:00] for fair, fair, full disclosure. I, I picked the most. Random questions. I can find that I don't think you're going to know. So the TV show new girl, which actress plays Jessica days a Zoe Deschanel be Kaylee Kakao. I can never say her name. Right. See Jennifer Anderson, RD Allison Hagan.

Gino Barbaro: I have no idea what you're talking about.

I'll go with Zoe. I, Hey,

David Dowlen: okay. We'll put that down there. Now guys, you know, the rules don't cheat. Don't look ahead. Make your guess for God's sake. Don't write it down. If you're driving, cause I know a lot of you listen to this in the car. We'll come back to that later. Gino. I don't do huge introductions. No one gives a crap day in this moment.

In your own words, who is Gino Barbara?

Gino Barbaro: Father of six kids. We homeschool, started a restaurant back in 1994, been making payroll since 1994. That's a long time. Left the restaurant in 2016, started investing with my business partner Jake in 2011 in apartments. We scaled up to over 1700 [00:04:00] units. Don't know how that happened by one a deal a year.

And I would just also say that I'm someone who's dedicated to raising my kids and I want to leave a real legacy for them, not just wealth and not just of money, but a legacy where when I, when I think of legacy, I think of passing on my values. And passing on what I've learned to them, and I want them to pass it on to their kids.

David Dowlen: What's your best dad joke?

Gino Barbaro: Uh, best dad joke? I would just say, how do you know Jesus was Irish? He had 12 drinking buddies, he lived at home his whole life, and his mother thought he was God.

David Dowlen: I've never heard that one.

Gino Barbaro: Really? I'm surprised. My wife is Irish, so I can say that joke.

David Dowlen: My daughter actually went to the bookstore, a used bookstore, and found a book of dad jokes recently, and came home.

She, she went to visit her grandparents with my wife, uh, spring break and came back, [00:05:00] dad, dad, I got a whole book of dad jokes. It's like, is it, is it that obvious? My, are gone, do you know, deep question here is cereal soup.

Gino Barbaro: Cereal is not soup.

David Dowlen: No,

Gino Barbaro: no, I eat dry cereal. Don't need the milk. Go right for the carbs.

Not the milk.

David Dowlen: Okay. What is the worst song ever?

Gino Barbaro: Let it go. Let it go. I've heard that song so many damn times. Can you let this song go, please?

David Dowlen: So every father with children under a certain age. Ever. Whatever the worst song is, whatever Disney song they're pushing right now. Yes. Because we've all heard it so many times.

Yes. What purchase of a hundred dollars or less have you made in the last year that's had the [00:06:00] biggest impact on your life?

Gino Barbaro: Well, let me say Podmatch. I joined Podmatch and I never would have been on this podcast if it wasn't for you. For being on there for 60 something bucks a month, it is worth being on there.

You are meeting tons of different guys and women who have these amazing shows. Um, big shout out to Alex. He's done a great job.

David Dowlen: Lots of love to Alex from here. Uh, Alex and I, I've been on pot match for a long time now. So I, I lots of love to Alex. This is my go to for any great guest. Favorite dessert.

Gino Barbaro: Well, I'm Italian, so I'd have to say tiramisu if it's made really well when you dip the, you know, the little cookies in the espresso, you make that nice cream, you let it sit for a little while, I can have a nice tiramisu.

Do you make that? Mom used to make it. And now the kids make it. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm pushi old here. So I really try desserts actually gone to [00:07:00] all time. If you can make pudding for some reason, when it's warm, it is del to go to tell you one and

David Dowlen: Well, I I'm Terry Masu is amazing. I think, but finding someone who can actually make it.

So you've got a good recipe after the show,

David McCarter: you got

David Dowlen: it. It's in that my way. I have a recipe book and, but I only put really great recipes in there. I'll try something like that doesn't make the cut, but I like to cook with my daughters. So love it. If I was to sit down at dinner with your family, what is their go to funny story they would tell to try and embarrass you?

Gino Barbaro: I have to think about that one. I mean, it's every day I do something stupid every day. So I'm not one story pops up. I mean, I don't know, you know, um, as far as embarrassing, I, you know, I've had this Jake and Gino community for years, so I would say just getting up in front of people and singing opera, That probably makes them a little bit uncomfortable.

[00:08:00] They're like, Dad, really? You got to start screaming and singing opera? And yes, that probably would make them a little bit uncomfortable.

David Dowlen: I was a preacher's kid, so we were constantly the examples when my dad was preaching. Yes. Yes. Growing up in that life, just to be sitting in church on Sundays, my We were the examples for everything.

There was no sacred stories. What is something everybody needs to know about you before we dig in today?

Gino Barbaro: I think my life transformed and I think this can help a lot of people out there when I became 100 percent responsible and in 2008, When the Great Recession hit, I was looking around and I was blaming everybody.

I was like, the economy's terrible, Bush is terrible, Obama's terrible. Those may be the cases, but there was other people out there [00:09:00] making millions of dollars and why wasn't I? And I read the book by T. Harv Eker, The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. And in the book, he talks about your fruits are in your roots.

Well, I had shallow roots at the time. I wasn't providing value, I didn't have enough skills. And I said, from now on. All the results that I've had up to this point in my life, they're, they're mine. I need to own them. How do I get better going forward? So I think for anybody out there, if you're around people who are victims or always blaming other people, it gets to be tiring after a while.

You just, it's a toxic environment. And it's okay to be a victim. Sometimes, you know, you, you're in the grieving process. You lost a friend, you lost a big account. I don't mean that, but you can't dwell on it. And once I became responsible, Everything changed. I had control. I had hope. And I think for those of you out there, if you become responsible, life will change.

Your life will transform.

David Dowlen: I love it. Guys, we've been getting to know Gino just a little bit. Who he is, what makes him tick, what he's like. In the next part of the show, we're going to dive [00:10:00] into raising daughters, aka being a girl dad. Now, before we do that, I'm, I'm, uh, going to discuss for just a moment. I'm taking my guest into different waters than he normally talks about.

Gino, he runs four podcasts. With his partner and one with the spouse, uh, you'll help clarify that in a minute and it's into multi tenant investing, but I'm going to let you tell us a little bit about that just so we can get a background and understand who you are and what you do, uh, before we dive into talking about daughters,

Gino Barbaro: Brent in 2011, I met my business partner, Jake, and I was looking for a side hustle.

I already had the restaurant, so I didn't want to fix and flip homes. So I'm like, what do I do that I can make money on the side and not have another job? And that's what led me to multifamily, which is just buying apartments. We bought our first apartment back in 2013. It was a 25 unit property. And then we bought another one three months later, [00:11:00] and then our other one six months later.

And then within five years, my business partner and I, we had five kids. almost 700 units. And at that point, we decided to start Jake and Gino. And it's just an education company that teaches people to buy multifamily people who invest in apartments. It's a nice size community. And then from there we just started show, we just started podcast.

We started the Jake and Gino show. We have a how to show on how to buy multifamily. We have a movers and shakers, which is just interviewing our students. Our students have closed over 80, 000 units. So we highlight them on the movers and shakers. And then the show that I really like is the Julia and Gino show.

And that's when me and my wife get together. It's like a weekly therapy show for me and her. And we just started a family coaching podcast, a 10 minute show every week, talking about different skills that you need to raise kids, whether it's awareness, whether it's listening, whether it's asking questions, whatever that may be.

So we really branched off to the educational community and we want to really, really create a community of like minded people who want to [00:12:00] raise families, who want to create wealth, who want to create legacy, pass it on to their kids.

David Dowlen: Now guys, what I'm going to say is I thought about having a whole conversation on how to start investing in multi tenant homes, because I know some of you are interested in investing.

And I wholeheartedly endorse that. Uh, this is a conversation I will have with Gino later, uh, on my own behalf, behalf, because that's, I'm, I'm, I think investing in property is incredibly intelligent, but I thought the better solution is go listen to his podcast. Cause I listened to it before the show, I listened to several of your episodes and there's a wealth of knowledge there.

And if that is something you want to do, if that's something you're interested in. You need to go listen to what these guys are talking about. They will literally teach you how to do this on the show. It's amazing. All that information is out there. They're just putting out this valuable information for free.

You guys can go and check out. And learn [00:13:00] if this is the right idea for you and how to go about it. And you know, how to even start something like that. So I'm going to say, go there. I will have all their links. I promise you down in the show notes. So that way you guys can find them and you guys can start educating yourself on that.

And then we can revisit that conversation later on, maybe on the show, on another episode. Sorry, everything just creeped up this morning, but. Five daughters and I've never gotten to talk to another dad about just being a girl dad. And all of, you know, I'm the girl dad. And so I wanted to have this amazing conversation with him because girl dads are different than when you have boys.

There's, there's different sets of rules. Do you know also has a son and so he's going to help us with some of that as well as we go. Now we'll, we'll, we'll start at that point right there. Definitively you have boys and girl, a boy and girls. Is there a difference in [00:14:00] parenting and raising boys and girls?

Gino Barbaro: I think there's a difference in raising every single child and I think every single child is unique and someone on my podcast said that, you know, God gives you these children and he gives you these children for a reason because you can parent them. They're there and you can parent them. And I think obviously if people don't understand that there's a difference between a boy and a girl.

I mean, my son at 67 years old could not sit in his chair. We homeschool. I mean, thankfully we didn't send him to school because he probably would have been kicked out because he couldn't sit still and he's not allowed to sit still. My son loves to shoot guns. He's 21 years old. He's got his FFL license.

We just went shooting the other day. The girls like that, but he likes that. Um, there's just, the different kind of energy with boys, different conversations with boys. And for me, when I'm raising my son, I'm always, always want him to look at what I've done and have the relationship, the relationship that I have with my daughters.

And I think for him, it's been [00:15:00] really good because he's been raised with five girls and he sees their temperaments and how they are. So when he's out, you know, going and looking for his potential spouse, it's important because my wife, you know, parents him, and he's always looking at the relationship that he has with her.

So when he's going to get married, she's been a really great role model, but I think as girl dads, someone said it to me years ago, if you want to have really great daughters and you want them to really marry somebody who's great, well, the relationship that you have with them is going to affect the people that they choose later on in life.

So you know, if you're treating them well and you're spending time with them and you really truly love them, I think chances are they're going to find somebody similar to you or similar to the attributes that you're, you're putting forth.

David Dowlen: I, I have, I got, I got a story I got to share with you. I had this guy I worked with and I worked with him at two different job companies over the course of about 10 years of his life.

When I met him, he was like just [00:16:00] out of college and us married guys would be having conversations and he kind of shy away. Right. And then he got serious about a young woman and he started staying for those. But we started talking about kids and he's gone, like, just make me an excuse. I was in his life long enough to see him get married and have his first child.

And he had a little boy. I was so excited for him. And you know, uh, this total change in who he was occurred as he became a parent. But a couple of years later, and Stone was about two, I'm going to say, I came to work one morning. And he was sitting on the edge of his desk right by my desk. And he's like, just kind of lost.

I'm like, hello. I was like, Adam, are you okay? And he's like, just I'm out there totally zoned out. And I was like, yo, bro, are you okay? He's like, how do you even sleep at night? [00:17:00] I went, I'm sorry. I need context here. And he said, Katie's pregnant. We're having a little girl and I try not to laugh. I said my stuff.

I said, yeah, and the whole world just changed in. He's like, every man is scum,

including you. I said, yeah, you will. You will never look at another, you know, younger woman the same again. You will never look at other men in your life the same way again.

Gino Barbaro: He

David Dowlen: was like, it's just, I, like he was already losing sleep. His wife was only barely pregnant enough to know the sex of the baby. Uh, it just, it rocked his world entirely.

He was like his son. He totally was totally chill about that. But the minute he found out he was going to have a daughter, it just. The world [00:18:00] became scary.

Gino Barbaro: It is challenging when you have daughters because you, there's, there is a double standard possibly. And I think it is, but I mean, they're, they're young, they're, they're.

In the, in society right now, you're, you're in the city. They're taught not to trust their instincts. You're walking down the street. You see somebody who's a little scary. Well, you can't really think of it that way. Cause you're being racist or homophobic or whatever phobic, but in reality, if your instincts are telling you to move across the side of the street, you do that.

And that's what I'm telling my, that's what I tell my daughters to do. Don't look at the color of this, but look at the context of where you are. If you don't feel, if you feel uncomfortable, get out of that situation. Don't worry about what other people are going to think about you or tell you. And I think nowadays, what we're, we're teaching our young, our young kids nowadays, I don't, I don't agree with a lot of the stuff that is being taught.

David Dowlen: What do you think specifically is the importance of a father's role in the life of a daughter?

Gino Barbaro: Oh, that's, that's a deep question. You know, [00:19:00] really for us, Starting out, you're a protector in the beginning, right? And you're the role model and you want to have a great relationship with each daughter. All five of my daughters are completely different.

Sometimes you're there just to listen. I mean, I had a story about my daughter who's 24 now. She was 20 years old. I got into her room and she started talking to me and she started crying. I didn't really say a word. I didn't know what to say. But in that moment, a couple of weeks later, she opens up to me and says, that's all I needed you to do just to be there and just to listen to me.

And dads, we don't always have the answers and that's okay. We're not supposed to have the answers, but we're there. I think to be able to listen to them, to be a sounding board as kids get older, we have to start increasing the boundaries, but they need to have boundaries. They need to have a little bit of discipline.

Um, I think in the early on, we are there to teach them what's right and what's wrong. And as they get older, we're not there to tell them what to do all the time. I think that's really [00:20:00] important as they get older. It's not like, well, you need to do this. We'll help them figure it out. And you know, a quick example is my daughter who's 18 years old.

She just got her license massage therapy. She's going on interviews. She's starting a business license. She's on Venmo. She's got bank accounts. I'm there to help her, but I don't want to tell her what to name her business. Um, you know, she's got two really great opportunities and jobs. I'm not there to tell her to take one versus the other.

If you're a good parent, if you're a good quote unquote business or life coach, you're asking her questions because we all have the answers within us, but sometimes we're afraid. to like really have those answers pulled out of us unless we are asked those questions. And I think that's what a great parent, a great father does.

And I think ultimately to be fallible as a parent, when you do make a mistake as a dad, it took me years and years to figure this out. But just to say, sorry, we make mistakes all the time. And that is really hard. was really challenging for me to do [00:21:00] when like, wow, you know what? I'm sorry. I made a mistake.

And I think when kids see that boosts up their emotional intelligence, they're like, oh wow, dad make mistakes and dad's sorry. Well, that gives them the idea that, okay, I'm fallible and I make mistakes as well. So when I get into these relationships, I have to have certain responsibility and it's not always someone else's fault.

It can be my fault as well.

David Dowlen: I think that was one of the hardest and probably one of the most valuable lessons I had to learn when I became a parent was. You know, once my kids hit a certain age, right? Because when they're little, little, they're, they're not going to understand period. Yes.

Gino Barbaro: Yes.

David Dowlen: But once they hit a certain age, learning to say, I'm sorry, when I responded too quickly to something I walked in on, right?

Came in and one of the girls is, you know, beating on the other or whatever. Uh, I I'm raising wolves. My, my mom likes to give me a lot [00:22:00] of grief. She's like, Oh yeah, they're your daughters. I I'm raising wolves. They're, they're wild child. So they're, they're little tomboys, but their mom was a tomboy too. So, uh, but so they're a little more rough and tumble than some girls are.

And, you know, when I walk in and the older one's beating on the younger one for some reason, right, just that quick fire off, and then I got to apologize, like, wait, now I jumped to conclusion. I didn't hear what was going on. Yes, we needed to stop that situation, but I shouldn't have escalated so quickly.

Learned to do that with my daughters was so hard.

Gino Barbaro: Mm hmm.

David Dowlen: Let me do that woman's hard period.

Gino Barbaro: I'll give you a quick story You said about an embarrassing story. It's about a year ago, and it's my fourth child. She's blonde like my wife She's, she's really stubborn. Like she's the kind of person that like, you're walking down the street during COVID, you gotta have masks on.

She would not wear a mask. She'd be getting yelled at. She, she does not want authority. You [00:23:00] have to give her a good reason why she needs to follow a rule or a law. And she's really stubborn, which is good, which is going to serve her really well in life. Cause she's not going to be taken advantage of.

She's not going to be a pushover early on as an adult. You're like, would you just listen to authority? But as you're like thinking about it, you're like, well, you're going to be okay. No one's taking advantage of you. So she's in the kitchen one day. And she's a great cook. She's making meatballs. And I go in there and I'm like, the bowl is too small.

You have to do, and I'm trying to take over. And then we get this really big shouting match. And I realized at that point, and my wife pointed out to me that I wasn't really getting mad at her so far. So for say, I was getting mad, more mad myself because I was in a bad state that day. I had a tough day at work.

I brought it home. And to have that awareness of you're not really getting mad at her. You're taking it out on her because of the situation you're in. So understand where you are. And then from there, it took me a good hour or two to go and say, Hey, listen, you're right. I'm sorry. I tried to control that [00:24:00] situation.

You needed a little help. I'm But I'm the expert here. And that was really, really damaging to the ego. But I think ultimately she saw that and she's like, Oh, right, dad. Cool. I really appreciate that. But it took a little bit of time. It took a little bit of effort. And that was, it was embarrassing. When I think about that story, it's, it's embarrassing to think about how I acted yelling at a 14 year old about meatballs.

I mean, really, but it wasn't about the meatballs. It was about the state that I was in. Right. What people say is about them. What you hear is about you. So at that time I heard defiance, I heard I'm doing it my way. And what was wrong with that? She's the one that was making him. I was just trying to teach her my way is my way.

The better way it may or may not be, but instead of lending a hand and helping her the way she needs to be helped, I tried to control the situation. And that didn't end up, that didn't end up well.

David Dowlen: It's amazing. The perspective you gain with some age and time, right? Oh yeah. Uh, Embarrassing [00:25:00] stories like I, I, I'll tell you anything about all of my younger years.

There isn't anything that's off limits. So it doesn't embarrass me. I could care less what embarrasses me at 44 are the stupid mistakes. I made as a husband and the stupid mistakes. I made as a father where I'm just like that. That's just embarrassing because I was just so out of line, right? One of the things I shared with one of my friends at one point.

Uh, when he had little ones, I was like, the minute you engage in an argument with a 4-year-old, you already lost . Right? Yes. You, you cannot reason with hostage takers and four year olds will hold you emotionally hostage. Just, there's just there. There's no logic there. You lost just because they got you to argue

Yes. Right. You're, they're, they're four. You can't reason this out.

Gino Barbaro: You can't reason it. You can't reason it with 40 year olds nowadays. Can you imagine a four year old? There's no reason anymore. [00:26:00]

David Dowlen: How do you feel about societal pressures to look a certain way? I know one of the things that hits home with me is like beauty standards and what the world is telling my daughters is what they should look like and how they should act.

Gino Barbaro: I'm very fortunate in that respect. We homeschool the kids from, from beginning when homeschooling was not. I mean, we started back in 2000, 2003. I mean, we were the weird people on the block. My wife had four home births. We homeschooled and you know, we're people of faith. We're, we're Catholic Christians.

And I mean, for us, my kids have really deep faith and it doesn't even come up as an issue for us. They, they wouldn't, they don't, they wouldn't dress a certain way, just out of disrespect. So for me, That's not even an issue. That's really pretty much off the table for me, but it's got to be difficult. I mean, when you're in, and the other thing is you see these cell phones here, we wait till the kids are like 14 or 15 years old to [00:27:00] get cell phones that, that, you know, that's what they do.

I have a 13 year old who's having a birthday on Tuesday. She's going to be, she's going to turn 13. She's probably gonna wait another year or two before she gets her cell phone before she gets service. And when they get on, it's gonna be controlled. You know, I'm not gonna have her get on an Instagram account or a Facebook account.

It's really hard for parents who send their kids to school because it is, it's all over your face. It's all over the place. The only thing I can say is try to spend as much time as possible. One thing we do, when COVID hit, Back in 2020, we started watching TV shows at nighttime. So we'd all get together and I'd have to watch something age appropriate.

The first show was Chuck. Then it was White Collar. Then it was Burn Notice. Then we watched The Mentalist, but we watched stuff together. And I think that really helped and really bonded and really cemented the relationship. Try to spend as much time with your kids. And you know, if you're watching stuff and you're looking at stuff that you don't want them to, you know, it's going to be hard.

They're going to call you a hypocrite, like we were talking about the governor of [00:28:00] California. Don't be hypocrite. Kids can smell it. They're going to do the total opposite.

David Dowlen: We've actually recently started instituting some changes in the house because we, we run, usually wind down the night with a sitcom or two or, you know.

Yeah. I've got all the old recordings of Mythbusters. Oh, yeah. My kids love that show. Right. And so we'll, we've been, you know, as they've gotten older, we've scaled, which shows they get to watch with us in the evenings, but I've, I've noticed like, okay, my youngest is really, my oldest, we're sicker head in a book, very happily.

My youngest is really starting to want to lean into screen. So I'm actively working on pulling that back at this point.

Gino Barbaro: Yes.

David Dowlen: So like last night we had our first family game night where there was no screens. There was no television. I set up the card table in the middle of the living room and we sit around and play games the entire night.

Gino Barbaro: That's awesome.

David Dowlen: [00:29:00] That we started turning off the television earlier and reading chapters out of the book together. My daughters will read part of the chapter, then I'll finish it up or something. Uh, but we're going through Harry Potter together as a family because I have an addictive personality. So I, I had to cut back years ago.

It was one of the smartest things I ever did was I started cutting back. I audited my time. It was like. I'm losing so much time watching television shows.

Gino Barbaro: Yes.

David Dowlen: Every week, keeping up with these eight or nine shows I'm watching, but it's all I do after work. And so I really started cutting that back. And now as my kids are getting old, I'm like, okay, we need to scale some of this here and there.

I don't want them automatically turning to a screen. They've got tablets, but they don't, they're supposed to, they get to use them. If I'm recording, they can't turn on the television or and they have TV time or if they're on like trip in the car. That was for my wife's sake. [00:30:00] She, she made a trip from Washington to California.

My parents lived in California, like on the road with my daughter. It's like, hmm, tablets and headphones for both of you.

Gino Barbaro: Yeah. Well, it's interesting because when my first daughter was born in 99, we didn't have that in the car for the first 10 or 12 years. So the older children are a little different than the younger children, not that they're not addicted, but they didn't need that.

And it's interesting. And it's, more for us parents because sometimes we do need, we just need some time alone and quiet time. And it's very hard for me, for me to get that, that quiet time. And it's interesting. It's hard to find shows nowadays where you can share them, but go back and look at the monks, look at the psychs, those shows back in the early two thousands, mid two thousands.

We watch flashpoint, a lot of these different shows on. On prime and all there, there's some really great shows out there that you can watch and listen, I was the same way as you, man, during the 2011, 12, I was addicted to, to news. I'd [00:31:00] watch O'Reilly. I'd watched, I talk, I mean, it was just amazing. The amount of time that I wasted, you know, your input shapes your outlook.

And if your input is all these messages, all this negativity, what ends up happening? I mean, your outlook is going to be really affected. So just be careful where you're spending your time and your energy. Great, uh, example that you gave before.

David Dowlen: Was there a difference between your sons and your daughters?

You said very, very correctly, you know, all kids are individual. So, so very individual. Um, the personality is, I think that's one of the fun things as a dad is, is watching your kids personalities develop and then become very unique people. Was there major differences in, you know, being there for your daughters, uh, when they were upset or struggling on something as opposed to your son, or is it just, As individual as the kid,

Gino Barbaro: I, it may be in as individual as the kid, [00:32:00] but I was fortunate.

My, my son's a really great kid. Like really? I mean, he's, he's excellent. I mean, he's a smart kid. Yeah. I'm just trying to think of, you know, when he needed me, like when he was in college, that was the story I was telling you before. He was doing this accounting and it was really challenging and he came home one day he started crying and that, that is like one of the worst feelings as a parent.

When you feel helpless and you're trying to help them, but you know that you need to have them figure it out. And he ultimately figured it out, but it's very difficult. And I, you try to tell them what to do. You try to help them out, but he needs to ultimately end up failing. And right now he's contemplating doing missionary work full time after he graduates college.

He's going to go. Uh, with a company called Life Teen in the summer from May till July, but then he's thinking in September to go for another year to go for a year and be on their missions, teaming and travel. And [00:33:00] I'm like, that would be, I'm trying to push him to do that actually, because that would be an amazing experience because you're not, you're not working yet.

You're problem solving, you're living with other people. You're, you're, you're on the road, you're, you're around people who you wanna be around, like really great young adults. And for me that's one of those instances where I'm sort of trying to nudge him to do that. 'cause I think that's something that will just affect the rest of your life.

'cause he's like, oh, maybe when I go to work then I'll do it. I'm like, Mike, once you start going to the real world and you end the work, it's really hard to go back and do missionary work. So my daughter. who's older than him did it for a year and a half. She loved it. And I'm like, you know what? She loved it.

I think you'd enjoy it too. But as far as the daughters, I think as men, we just go into problem solving and solution mode. You've got a problem. I'll fix it for you. Whereas a lot of times our spouses, our wives just want to talk and just want to be heard and they don't want to have a solution. So what you can say is, Hey, is this something that I can help you out with or do you just need me to to listen to you?

I'm still [00:34:00] working on that and it's a really hard thing to do 'cause like you've got a problem. I've got 15 employees in 1500 apartment units. I need to solve the problem. I don't have time to waste here. Oh, oh, you just need me to listen. Great. What's going on? So it's very hard and it's the same thing with your kids.

Sometimes it just needs somebody to listen to.

David Dowlen: I, I, I got in trouble the first time I asked my, my wife, it's like, wait, pause. Am I listening or fixing it?

Gino Barbaro: Well, that's not the, well, fixing. So, so you're, you're denoting that something's broken with her. So that's like the worst word to use, right? Well,

David Dowlen: she was busting about something going on at work.

Uh, right. And she knows my, my inclinations. I'm, I'm a, I'm a team lead. I'm a supervisor. It's my, my job to fix problems.

Gino Barbaro: Yes.

David Dowlen: And so I was like, wait, work related. Am I listening to you talk about what's bothering you at work or am I fixing what's going on at work for you? And she was so mad. I was like, Hey, we went through a whole marriage class on this [00:35:00] recently.

Uh, I was like, this, this is what they said to do, man. It's in the manual. It's different when it's practical. It's one of the things I'm struggling to do with my daughters. Uh, I have a very big personality. I'm a big guy. I'm very loud. And so I'm having to deal with some of those differences. When I deal with my daughters, right?

I don't have to yell if I sound stern both my daughters are in tears.

Gino Barbaro: Mm

David Dowlen: hmm Which is hard for me because I'm loud, right? so I'm having to learn to slow down even more before I talk to them because I I don't have to my daughter was like, I don't like it when you yell. You've never heard me yell, honey Mm hmm.

Like really you've never When I yell, it's the, [00:36:00] you know, the cartoon with the head exploding and leveling the floors. I'm used to dealing with fairly intensive individuals. You haven't heard me yell.

Gino Barbaro: Well, maybe you should have them. Maybe you should let them hear you yell and see the difference because I'm Italian.

So we tend to use our hands a lot when we speak and me and my wife will have conversations and they think we're arguing. Well, we're not really arguing. We're just discussing something. So for years, the kids sort of thought we were fighting. So maybe you should let them hear you yell and say, this is how I yell.

My kids know when I yell as well, like that, like that meatball thing. I blew up, I blew, I went nuts. And, um, sometimes, You have to do that. Not not in, not in that instance, but sometimes they need to hear a different state. 'cause that's what happens in the real world. People are gonna yell at you in the real world.

Stuff's gonna happen that you're not gonna like, that's gonna make you feel uncomfortable. And that's okay. You're gonna have teachers yelling at you. I mean, I used to work in the kitchen. People yell, curse, and scream in the kitchen. That's just the reality. If you can't [00:37:00] handle it, you're gonna have a tough life.

David Dowlen: Oh yeah, no, I, I worked in the IT industry for 10 years at one of my jobs. I was the desk flipping lead. I I'm the guy who would go and just toss, like, just get pissed and flip the whole table full of crap all over the place, kick a file cabinet across the room. Uh, my, my file cabinet at my desk actually had a dent in it from where I kicked it multiple times.

Cause one of my jobs was dealing with our customers, which weren't like external facing customers. Like most people think when they think customers,

David McCarter: yes,

David Dowlen: we were an internal service for the multiple properties of the company we served. And all of them thought they were more important than every other property in the company.

And so part of my job was the workflow and dealing with customers calling in and like, well, we need you to do this now. It's like, well, we have an agreement. We have 48 hours to take care of your request. Well, we got, you know, you [00:38:00] got his now, do you understand? I have 200 other tickets in my key right now and there are three of us.

So no, that's, that's not happening. And so I spent half my night arguing with these internal customers. God for, you know, uh, service level agreements. I saw he saved me in that job, but yeah, I was, I was that guy. And so my daughter's like, baby, you've never seen daddy get really. upset and let loose because just me getting intense, like we'll bring them to tears.

Gino Barbaro: And

David Dowlen: it's like, okay, we're going to have to work on that because you can't, that, that can't push you into that state.

Gino Barbaro: Well, you can't cause that, that, that, when you start doing that, if you think what happens as children, as they become adults, They may not want to get into some type of conflict. They may avoid that conflict with, with, with their [00:39:00] spouse.

When they see their spouse getting a little bit angry, they may defer. They may not stick up for themselves. So that's something that we have to be careful of as well. Um, when we're, when we're, you know, interacting with our children.

David Dowlen: Guys, we've been discussing raising daughters and, uh, differences in raising sons and daughters and just raising daughters and kids in general.

And the next part of the show, we're going to give some great advice for girl dads and parents in general. Gino has six kids. He's got a lot of experience of this. And what's, what's the range? Cause I know you have got, you said you have in the twenties. What's the youngest

Gino Barbaro: one? 24 to nine year old.

David Dowlen: Wow.

Okay. So you are dealing with the full spectrum here. This is awesome. Yes. Yeah. So Gino, you've got the six kids. Across the full spectrum in this part of the show, we just want to share some of the most valuable parenting lessons for dads out there, whether it's with your daughters, if you've got something that's more specific to them or just in general, some of the most valuable [00:40:00] parenting experience we can share.

With our audience today.

Gino Barbaro: I think we've been talking about it a lot on the show and there's a fine line And i'd mention the quote, you know, you want to prepare the child for the road You don't want to prepare the road for the child and I really truly believe as parents. It's our job to really provide a safe loving environment for them to thrive and to Really become a good parent What they're meant to be and what gifts they are, what gifts they each have, because they're all different.

One of my, one of my children is really smart. I mean, she's a better reader than me. She's 13 years old. The other one could care less about school. She hates, she abhors school, but she's such an athlete. And she's so, she's so has so many different skills like my wife, she's just a smart person. I think parenting each child to what, what their gifts are.[00:41:00]

And what I found to be really hard, Brent is as the kids were getting older, I wanted to look good in front of people. I wanted my kids to go to college and be doctors and lawyers and take over the business. When in reality, that's the last, I'm embarrassed to even think about that right now, but that's how we're programmed in society is, hey, our kids are a reflection of us.

If they become really successful, that means we did something right. And I just, I don't, I don't buy that, buy into that anymore. Um, you know, if you guys want to go to college, great, let's do it. If you want to become a licensed massage therapist, great. If you want to get into missionary work, great. If you want to get into theology and philosophy, great.

You have to choose. I'm not here to tell you what to do. I'll help you out. I think that's probably the hardest thing as parents, uh, to sit back, to watch them and to not tell them what to do. And when, when they need help, give them [00:42:00] the help.

David Dowlen: I would agree that sitting back and letting your kids make some of their own choices.

That's, uh, I I'm at this interesting spot, right? Yes. The nine year old will be 10 this summer and the 12 year old is already. As independent as I will let her be. But that's, I think one of the things I'm struggling with as a dad is I, I'm, I'm, I will be the first to admit I'm hyper overprotective, hyper overprotective.

Gino Barbaro: Uh, well define hyper overprotective because for me, my kids never really slept over anybody's house. I think, um, maybe grandma, actually they slept over grandma's last night. Friend's house. I mean, I don't. Why put him in a situation like that? I mean, it's that that to me may be hyper protective for a lot of people, but it's not they didn't do sleepover camp until one of them was 16 years old and actually went to a [00:43:00] camp where there were nuns.

I mean, like it was, it was, it was, it was, it was a religious camp and that she was 16 years old at the time. Is that hyper protective? It may be, but that's our job is to, is to keep them, keep them safe. So, I mean, can you define hyper hyper overprotective to me? Okay.

David Dowlen: Anything like that has been a major discussion.

They have had collectively two sleepovers a piece. And only one of those times is outside the house. They've had a friend sleepover

Gino Barbaro: friends. Yes. Yeah. I'm, I'm good with that. Yes. And cousins like my brother's kids, they'll have sleep over my brother's kids. That's one thing, but I, you just don't. And it's not even your, the friends, the friends may have other friends that come over.

It's not there. You know, so when you have three or four, you can't control that environment. And when you're nine or 10 or 12 or 14 years old, you don't have the emotional intelligence to, to, to figure those situations out. So why would I want to put my child who's young in that situation? It's okay to [00:44:00] be no, say no.

And to be the bad guy, I've done it multiple times. Um, so it's one of those things, right? As a parent, we all have our own different styles and our own different methodologies. But for me, that's what served me. That's what's worked really well for me. And now it's interesting. My kids, they've left the house and now they want to come back home.

And like my 24 year olds back at home with me, and she's going to massage therapists as well. And she likes to stay at home. She likes to be part of the family. And it's interesting. That's ultimately what I want. I want my kids to be able to come back. And if you want to stay and live at home, I'd love it.

Um, I'm buying all the properties for you guys, but that's what you want. You want to have that kind of environment where, Hey, you want to be home. You want to be part of the family. And it's just. I just love it. I just love having the kids home. It's just to me, it's, it's, it's great.

David Dowlen: See, I, I'm, I'm slow to let them do some of the things they should do on their own.

And I think part of it is hyper [00:45:00] overprotective. And part of it is I want to do those things for them. I love being a dad. And so, you know, I want to take care of this. I want to do this for them because I love taking care of them. Mm hmm. And so sometimes I, I think I started with going back and forth on the line.

It's like, am I doing this? Because. I don't trust them to do it, or am I doing this because I haven't taught them to do it yet, or am I doing this because I'm afraid of them doing it, right?

Gino Barbaro: Well, one of the things that you're instilling in them is you're instilling that later on in life, they may look for a guy who's going to take care of them, who's going to nurture them.

So that, that, that, there's one of the, one of the ways. That you can look at it as a you're there. You're the role model. They can look up the dad So when they when they start looking for men, they're not going to look for men Who are going to abuse them or who are going to neglect them? They're going to look for somebody who's going to nurture them And I think we've gotten a bad rap as men like, you know, this whole toxicity thing But that's what our role is our role is we're [00:46:00] nurturers.

We're protectors That's what I think a woman wants. That's what I, when I speak to my wife, I'm there, you need something. I'm there to protect, I'm there to provide, and it's worked really well for us. And I think our daughters see the relationship that we have, and I'm hoping that they seek the same thing in a man.

I want my son in law to take my daughters and to protect them, to provide for them and to have a great relationship with them. So I think you're doing the right thing.

David Dowlen: So yeah, my, one of my goals as a father has always been to be Superman. I thought that's one of my biggest goals because I want to set the bar so high.

The lowest standard of the guy that they bring into the house will be a pretty decent guy. Yes. I want their boyfriends, their first boyfriends to be terrified because Dad could snap you in half like a pencil because he's jacked and huge and physically fit in his forties and uh, [00:47:00] right. I want to set that bar so high.

This is what my children expect men to be like.

Gino Barbaro: They're

David Dowlen: healthy, they're active, they're involved, they're, they can cook, they can take care of themselves. Right. So I look at the standard of how am I treating their mother? Right. How do I treat my wife in front of them? What do they see?

Gino Barbaro: Yes.

David Dowlen: What are they hear how I talk to her how I interact with her because that is the standard they're going to follow

Gino Barbaro: Yes,

David Dowlen: I think it's one of the greatest gifts as dads we can give our daughters and our sons and I have a son bit Right.

You are setting that bar for your spouse, your kids relationships. You're showing your son how to treat a woman. You're showing your daughters how a woman should be treated by someone who says they love her. And so I think that's one of the things that we do as dads that is a very unique thing. [00:48:00] Now, obviously our wives are, are teaching our kids, you know, how to interact as well.

But I think there's a bar that is set since men generally lead in a lot of relationships By dad setting that standard How do you focus on quality time with your kids because you've got a lot going on with business, right? You've got your company and everything else you're doing and you've got six kids, which means they all want your attention Mm hmm.

How do you focus on spending quality time with your children

Gino Barbaro: before I answer that you made a really great point in Before you moved on, and you can look at where we are in society right now, and all of the problems that society stems from is from the dissolution of the family, the holy family, husband and wife, they're cleaved together.

They have differences, but they work so well together. And I think you can look back at it back in the [00:49:00] 1960s before the civil rights passed 75 percent of black households had a father and a mother. How is it now? It's 75 percent are single parents and single parents. It's it's such a tough job, mentally, emotionally, financially, and you're, you know, you're growing up without a dad in the home.

So you don't know how to act as a young son because you don't have that role model. So all the dads out there, you have such an important job to do. Um, that family unit is so important. And yeah. Every problem that I see in society nowadays stems from it. If we can't teach our kids about self love, about loving ourselves, how are they going to go out and love another human being?

And I think you have to show that with your husband and wife. Once you have that relationship, you say that's so important. So just put that on the top of your mind. I mean, think about that as you go throughout the day, how important of a job you have. And that family unit and, you know, everyone's watching, not only your kids, but there's other people out in the world that are watching because people always say to me, but you got a pretty, [00:50:00] you know, cool, dynamic, cool relationship.

Your kids are really great. It takes a lot of work, a lot of hard work. And to answer your question, it's intentional. I mean, you really have to spend time with each one of them. I have a friend, his name is Jim Shields. He wrote 18 summers. It's a great book. It's you have 18 summers with your children, basically, before they leave the house.

And he has something called his boardroom meetings where every quarter, every three months, he has his children pick a special day and it's all about them. What do they like? What do they want to do? And he spends the three or four or five hours every three months with them. Just specifically in a day.

Now, what I did last week, my daughter is having a birthday next week because I had mentioned, and I know she likes to cook. So I went to Stirling table. I got cooking classes for the two of us, 170 bucks. Best 170 bucks I spent a while. We spent four hours making macaroons. She loves to bake. I think you need to be intentional and put it on the calendar.

They've got [00:51:00] volleyball tonight at five o'clock and 745. I'm going to those games. They all play games together. Uh, there's certain times where you need to spend and find out what they like. It's not what you like. I mean, one of my daughters, she likes to garden. So I spend time gardening and doing, you know, flowers with find out what they like.

And, and spend the time with them. And for myself have being an entrepreneur, all of a sudden I've got Jake and Gino and I've got these other businesses. When I had the restaurant, they'd come in and work with me. I mean, I think you, for me, there's no really separation. There's just, just a balance where family life and being an entrepreneur and involving them in your business and letting them help you edit videos early on and let them help you at the events that you have and let them be part of your book writing process.

Involving them in your businesses is another great way to, uh, you know, to involve them in your life.

David Dowlen: I was trying to explain this to my youngest daughter the other day cause she made a comment. She was like, Hey, can we do [00:52:00] this? And I mean, She was basically asking me to go sit and watch TV with her, right?

And she's like, well, you do stuff with Abby. I was like, baby, I do stuff with you too. She's like, well, you go for walks with her. Abby gets up and goes with me. You don't want to get up at 4. 15 and go with me.

David McCarter: Uh huh. 4.

David Dowlen: 15 in the morning when it's still cold and it's still dark. Uh, my youngest is my, my wife, she's, they're both slow.

Wake up, sleep a little later. Right. And, and ease into the morning. My oldest has picked up my ability to just jump up and right where we're up and out the door and moving and we'll figure it out as we go. It's just life, baby. It's. You don't want to do that. I would go and do that without Abby. It's more fun with her, but I would go and do it without her.

She chooses to get up and do that.

Gino Barbaro: Mm hmm.

David Dowlen: [00:53:00] You know, it's, there's, there's that difference in the child's personalities, right? Yes. Um, I, I love what you said about putting it on the calendar. We, we have a daddy daughter night every week. It's two of my girls, it's both of them together. It's not a separate, but it's both of them together in me.

And that is on my calendar as a reoccurring occurrence every single week. I don't answer phone calls. I don't answer emails. I don't do work from four o'clock till they go to bed. It's them. We might go get yogurt or go to the park or watch a movie and eat popcorn or. You know, there's usually some kind of special treat involved and we're doing something together.

And that might mean me being in the center of the couch with both of them curled up against me watching movies, but that's, that's their time. And they love the fact, cause I have one of those, uh, they're the Amazon picture frame looking Alexa. [00:54:00] Yeah. This got my calendar on it in my office and they can walk in and look at the calendar and go, Oh yeah.

Okay. Dad's coming to this cause their events are on it. You're doing that. I didn't know you were gonna be gone for that. It's like, yeah, baby. I got this on there Right, so they can see my schedule. They can also see them. They're on my schedule

Gino Barbaro: Mm hmm,

David Dowlen: and that's been really important to them as we've done this thing with the fallible, man And this is a lot of time consumption They look at it and go.

Yep. No, we're on there. We're good, right? We know dad's busy today, but this afternoon That's us And so I think that's something incredibly value valuable that you can pass on your kids. I'm just trying to imagine like keeping up and having individual quality time with two girls, much less six kids

Gino Barbaro: as they get older.

And, and, you know, as they get older, the older kids do need less time to have more things going on. But I think the, [00:55:00] how I can judge my success is that my 24 year old. actually still wants to go on vacation with us. When we go on vacation, the word vacate is to leave, to go somewhere. And we've never gone on vacation without them.

Very rarely. We went to Italy the last two years. There's eight of us on that plane. It's like, you got to take out a mortgage and. We get to Italy. My mom's got a house, but we we rent this transit van there. But the 24 year old's like, yeah, I'm coming. It's not even a thought in her mind. So she's part of the family.

I mean, and that's what, that's what you're building. That's what you're fostering. They're going to leave the family eventually, but there's still want to be part of this, still going to come back. And that's how you build a relationship. And I think it takes years. To do that. And what you're doing is really great.

They understand that there's certain time that they can spend with you and that's quality time for them. I don't think quantity time. I think you need quality time more than quantity because when you're spending quality time, you're actually focused on them. Your devices are off. You're not talking about anything else.

You're spending time with them and you're [00:56:00] listening to them. And I think that's what people have to focus on and what you're doing is going to help you in the future with your

David Dowlen: Quality. That's one of those words we miss these days. Uh, you know, and that's, that's something you have to do with your spouse as well is especially when you've got a lot going on, my wife and I have learned the value of 30 minutes. Right. When is we're not, we have just 30 minutes. We'll go get a cup of coffee together.

And that may be our bigger interaction for a day or two. But for those 30 minutes, it's, it's us. Right. We, we put everything else down and it's just us, uh, that's something we have to fight for sometimes. But you're going to have to fight for time with your kids because later it's a different fight for time for your kids if you haven't laid that groundwork.

Gino Barbaro: Yes. Great point. Excellent point. Thanks for sharing that. [00:57:00]

David Dowlen: Right. So, do you know

what has been? The most impactful thing you think you've done with your kids to build this relationship.

Gino Barbaro: I wouldn't say so much what I've done. I think what we've done as a family and I think it's the homeschooling aspect of it for us. I had a tough time at the restaurant. I had a really crappy schedule.

I was working on the weekends. So if they went to school, I'd never see them because I'm working, you know, I'm off during the week, but I'm working weekends and be vice versa. So we decided to homeschool and what it really did was it really created a great relationship amongst themselves. They love hanging out with each other.

That's really strange for people, but the nine year old likes to hang out with the 24 year old. And my son will hang out with the 13 year old. It's not even an issue. So for us, homeschooling really completely changed the dynamic of the [00:58:00] household. And, you know, for me, for years, when I had the restaurant, I would homeschool them in the morning.

So 45 minutes I would spend with a couple of them before I went to work. And that really, really helped. built the relationship further. And I know my oldest daughter likes history because I would do history with her and I actually would do some catechism work with her. So I learned about my faith as well, which was really cool.

But if, if you can't do that and you're not, you're not, you know, you don't have the time for me. The other thing that was really impactful was carving out time weekly. It's almost like date night. I think that's what you really need to do with your kids. And there's different seasons. but I love to put the kids to bed at nighttime as well.

That's something that I did with each child. And it was challenging for me. Cause you know, every three years we're having another kid. So when the kid was three years old, he gravitated to me, the newborn went to mom. So that's when I, and you need to have patience. It was very challenging. The young kids were nursing with mom.

They [00:59:00] had one nothing to do with dad. And that was an ego hit. It's like, this is my child. But you know what? As time got on, you know, it was okay. But spending that quality time, for me, that quality time at nighttime, I still play Barbie with a nine year old. So we're, we're going to, we, we, we play Barbies. I mean, that's something that we do.

I mean, like, do I want to play Barbies? And it's one of those things as a dad, sometimes you just doing things. Do I want to go watch a nine year old play volleyball tonight? Let's be honest. It's pretty boring and we feel guilty about that, but that's our responsibility as parents and it's okay. And I go there, I sacrifice my time.

Obviously, I'm, I want to watch her, but in the grand scheme of things, let's be honest, like watching nine year olds play volleyball can be pretty freaking painful, but we do that as parents, we have to sacrifice. And it's a good sacrifice because later on in life, they'll remember that you were there for them.

David Dowlen: Playing, playing dolls with your daughter is a rite of passage for any girl, dad. I literally have painted toenails right now.

Gino Barbaro: I have Kenny boy and I have, uh, Eugene [01:00:00] Fitzherbert. Those are my two, those are my two dolls. So hell Ellen bell, that's her 3. So

David Dowlen: I've got mismatched toenails. Cause one daughter did one and one daughter did the other.

Uh, yeah, there are certain things I always laugh you ever see those pictures, uh, like this big burly guys in a two, two plane having tea with that is the mark of a girl dad right there.

David McCarter: That really is.

David Dowlen: I actually walked into work one day with a little bit of clear nail polish and some sparkles on my nails.

And one of the guys, funny, cause we have security that you have to go through at the facility I used to work at. And one of the guys was like, uh, couldn't, couldn't settle on a color this morning, huh? So he's really clear. I looked him square in the eyes and my three year old did that. And this big security guard instantly just, Oh my God.

So cute, right? It's. Melted instantly that my [01:01:00] child had done this and I was secure enough and proud enough to walk in wearing it to my job. But it was like, dude, when, when your daughter asked you to do this, you, you just do it.

David McCarter: I agree

David Dowlen: that special power of, uh, having kids. Yeah. And I, and I sympathize with the volleyball, watching basketball and soccer for years now.

Gino Barbaro: Ah,

David Dowlen: right. It's painful. Like little, little, little kids soccer.

Gino Barbaro: Yeah.

David Dowlen: Like herding cats swarm following the ball. That's all.

David McCarter: Yeah.

David Dowlen: But those things you do, right. That's right. Now. You know, what's, what's the next big project you're on and it doesn't have to be a parenting project. What's the next big project for Gino?

You've already got so much going on.

Gino Barbaro: We're going to Ireland the 23rd to the 29th. Me and my wife were working with a gentleman named Phil McKernan. It's brave leader. And [01:02:00] I've been working with Phil for the last couple of years. I don't know what you call Phil. You can call him a clarity coach, life coach.

But what I think his genius is, is that he gets you to work on yourself. He gets you to look at your childhood, then he makes you look at your present. And then, hey, what does your future look like? Because if you're building an empire, are you building it for the right reasons? Are you, are you doing things?

We're just so pre programmed and we're not really aware of our lives. And we, we as men, especially don't look at our emotions. It's okay to be angry, but what do we do with anger? We suppress it. We push it down. And then one day it just explodes. But why are we getting angry? We don't even know why we're doing certain things.

And for me, for any, for any man out there, I think we really need to explore our emotions more. We need to sit with our emotions a little bit. We need to understand why we're doing certain things. And it's not neither right nor wrong, but just understand why you're getting mad. Why did I get mad at my daughter for making meatballs that way?

I mean, why did I have to [01:03:00] be right? You know, why, why am I so sensitive sometimes with my family? Well, maybe it's because I got, I was picked on and I was younger or my mom was such an authoritarian and she told me to do things all the time, exploring your childhood, looking how your values were created. I think that's really important and it will help you become a much better dad and a better spouse as well.

So that's, what's on the horizon for me. Just continue to work on myself. Having that self-improvement, right? I think that's important, and I'm just lucky to be working with a guy like Phil.

David Dowlen: Where is the best place for people to connect with you?

Gino Barbaro: Just go to jake in gino.com and if you wanna learn more about the Julian Gino Show, just go to Julian in gino.com.

David Dowlen: Now, guys, Gino has a whole lot more that he can share with you, that he can offer you, that he can point you in, uh, especially in, in business sense. If you're interested in investing in real estate, that's something he can help you with. But [01:04:00] I'm loving this conversation because Gino can offer you a whole lot more than just business.

Okay. This man has a lot of depth. I knew I wanted to talk to him. I'm so glad you've been in on the show that you're here with us today. Because I think you have an incredible depth of knowledge, not just in business. I love that you're doing some personal development stuff too. You're going to change lives in a positive way.

And so be sure and connect with them. I'll have, of course, all that information down below where you can connect with him. And, uh, all this links, I know all of you are really worried about who played the actress, Jessica day in the TV show, new girl, you were right. It was Zoey Deschanel. Congratulations.

Wow. What

David McCarter: a

Gino Barbaro: lucky guest

David McCarter: brother

David Dowlen: swing in a hit now, you know, wrap out the show. If our audience heard nothing else today, what's the most important takeaway you want them to hear?

Gino Barbaro: Wow.

Hmm. [01:05:00] I would really just have to say, be there for your children and just listen to them and really, You want to build up their self esteem because you really want them to love themselves because if they love themselves, be a lot easier to love other people.

David Dowlen: Awesome guys for June and myself. Thanks for hanging out with us today.

Be better tomorrow because what you do today and we'll see you on the next one.

Gino Barbaro: Thanks Brent.

David McCarter: This has been the fellow man podcast, your home for everything man, husband and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www. thefallibleman. com for more content, And get your own Fallible Man gear.