Dads, You Have What It Takes: Embracing Your Calling as Father

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Are you ready to take your dad's skills to a whole nother level?

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My guest today from dad camp, Matt and Jason work with men in over 35 countries to help them step up their dad game.

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And if you're a dad, this is the show you don't want to miss.

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Check out this thought from Jason.

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Let's get into it.

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You matter.

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Uh, you matter more than you understand and wake up every day.

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And I believe if we have, you know, we've got, we wear a lot of hats as dads or as men.

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Um, we wear a lot of hats.

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I think the hat of a father and a husband is the most important hat that we wear.

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Um, and don't let the culture feed you a lie that, um, that that's not an important hat and that you don't matter.

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Um, because what we know to be true is this thing called the father factor that no one has more impact on the health and well being of your child than you do.

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And I know, uh, you wouldn't be listening to this podcast, uh, whether you're just, if you're not a dad, you're just, you're just a guy you're listening.

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But as a dad, like, um, you love your kids.

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And so remember how much you matter.

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And how much your kids need that from you.

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Here's the million dollar question.

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How do men like us reach our full potential, grow into the men we dream of being, while taking care of our responsibilities, working, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves?

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Well, that's the big question.

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In this podcast, we'll help you answer those questions and more.

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My name is Brent and welcome to the fallible man podcast.

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Welcome to the fallible man podcast.

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You're home for all things, man, husband, and father, big shout out to palpable nation.

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Becoming a regular listener warm.

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Welcome to our first time listeners.

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My name is Brent and today my special guest is Jason Braun and Matt Crittenton of, and I'm going to get this wrong.

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No, I'm not dad camp guys.

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Welcome to the fallible man podcast.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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And you got it right.

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I, I figured I'd, uh, I, I had to exaggerate the dad campaign.

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I got, I've been excited about the show.

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So I was like, Oh yeah, I'm going to totally blow that.

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Cause that's like the easiest thing for me to remember.

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It's been, uh, it's been referred to in many different ways over the years.

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So you nailed it.

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Well done.

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Excellent.

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Excellent.

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Now, how's your trivia skills?

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Cause we started out kind of light here.

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Trivia skills.

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We'll see.

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We'll see.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Harry Potter trivia skills.

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Oh, that'd be horrible.

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Ooh, like zero, zero understanding.

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Yeah.

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My oldest was a big Harry Potter fan, so I know a little bit, but probably not to the trivia level.

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Oh, goody.

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I, I bought true Harry Potter trivial pursuit cause we're all big Harry Potter fans in my house.

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Okay.

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We be totally on this, right?

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And it's like, we're rereading the books now as a family because you realize you were deficient, right?

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I had read all the books.

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My wife's read all the books.

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My daughters are reading them.

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We're reading them as family.

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We watched these a hundred times and my daughters are getting these questions going.

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Did that happen?

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So it's, it's been exciting.

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So here's the trivia question.

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I, I, I'll go easy on you guys.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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In the Harry Potter series.

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Yes.

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During which book, or movie, right, so that's how they divided them, does Draco Malfoy get to play as a Seeker on the Slytherin house team for Quidditch?

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Again, I will defer to Matt.

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I have not seen the movie, not seen any movies, nor have my family, nor have I read any of the books, so I know, I have absolutely zero understanding of this topic.

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I'll say it's in the third movie.

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And third movie.

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All right, guys, you know how this works.

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Don't cheat.

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Don't jump ahead.

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And for God's sake, don't write this down.

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If you're driving.

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I know a lot of you listen to this on in the car on the way to work.

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Don't, don't do that.

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Just, yeah, we don't want any accidents, motor vehicle accidents over this.

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Right.

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I'm just totally, I have these like horror visions.

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It's like someone trying to write a silly, silly little question in the middle of the show, you know?

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So guys, we start out with the ultimate question.

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And I'm gonna let you guys answer this in your own words today in this moment.

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Who is Jason Braun and Matt Crittenton?

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You guys can How you want?

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Who's up?

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You go ahead.

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You go first.

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Jason Braun is, uh, uh, a follower of Christ first and foremost.

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Uh, and, uh, just a, a proud husband of 28 years.

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Uh, super proud dad of, of three, uh, young adults now.

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One married, uh, one that just got engaged, uh, and the other that wants to be engaged.

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Um, but, uh, and uh, I would say.

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I'm a galvanizer.

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I just love to rally people to things that I'm passionate about and, uh, and currently and that's the, this thing called dad camp that I've, uh, that I, that I've given my life to.

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And, um, in my spare time, I, I'm a sports advocate.

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Baseball's my number one sport, but, uh, I kind of love all things sports, following sports, playing sports, all that kind of stuff.

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Love coaching and mentoring young people inside, uh, inside of that, that world.

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So it's a little bit about Jason.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, my, my, uh, identity is in Christ.

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I'm a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ.

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He's my Lord and my Savior.

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And that's where my first and most important identity is.

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And then, uh, I have a beautiful treasure of a wife.

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We actually just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary, uh, yesterday.

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And, uh, so Jamie is my treasure, uh, my love of my life.

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And then I have, uh, three, uh, Beautiful blessings in the form of my Children.

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I have a 24 year old daughter.

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I have a son who's going to be turning 20 actually tomorrow.

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And then I have a 13 year old son as well.

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Um, I would say my passion is reaching men.

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Um, for the glory of God, uh, to see men thrive and to see men be all that God created them to be.

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That's really what linked Jason and I up is that shared passion and, uh, the ways that we can get those goals accomplished through dad camp.

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I'm a sports guy too.

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Uh, basketball would probably be my, my number one sport I'm into, uh, followed by football.

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We've had some great sporting conversations and, uh, also love coaching as well.

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I think it's a great opportunity to reach, uh, young people, uh, when they, uh, are still sort of impressionable and willing to Uh, listen and formulate some things around what you're trying to build into them.

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It's a great way to encourage them and spur them on to be the best, uh, versions of themselves that they can be.

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So yeah, that's a little bit about me.

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Ah, I clicked the wrong button and it opened a calendar right over the top of my screen.

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That was great.

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I need a techie like you guys have.

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That's right.

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On top of this.

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Best dad joke.

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Who's got the best dad joke?

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Um, I, I think I have one.

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I don't know about best, but it's really good because I used it before and it embarrassed the mess out of my son.

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So, um, what does a robot say when he has to go to the bathroom?

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Wow, that's that's horrible.

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It's supposed to be bad.

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I know that's you win So what is the the the actor the rock so Dwayne Johnson, what is the Rocks favorite kind of weather What?

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Dwayne.

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Oh, okay.

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See, your dad joke made me laugh.

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I feel like the dad joke should just be like, you moron.

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And I just shook my head at yours, so you win.

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I love my, my daughters are finally at that age.

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I've got a nine year old and a 12 year old daughter, and they're at that age where I get the eye roll now.

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Yeah, the dad jokes.

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Yeah, they're only going to get more now.

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Yep.

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I'm a former youth minister.

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I love working with teenagers.

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So I'm actually looking forward to these older ages.

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But okay.

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Yeah, as you get, as they get a little older, you're not even need to tell dad jokes for the eye roll.

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Just everything you do is going to create an eye roll.

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That's what's coming, right?

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Your cool factor goes down as they age.

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And congratulations on the recent anniversary.

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14 years.

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That's awesome.

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Thank you.

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I appreciate it.

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And a big congratulations on the 28th.

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Wow.

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Yeah, 29 next month.

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So we're getting there.

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Yeah.

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It's, it's so sad to me because you see that less and less, right?

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I grew up growing up like my parents, friends, you know, 25 years, 30 years, right?

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You go to these big anniversary parties and now my wife and I've been married 24 years and people are like, Wow, you've been married forever.

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Right, right.

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What?

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Right.

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Yeah.

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You don't understand.

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Yeah.

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And it seems like probably to you too, like it doesn't seem like that long ago that, you know, That we got married, like, it's crazy, right?

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24 years is like, especially, uh, the 12 since we've had children.

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It's like, wait, no, you were just a baby.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Yeah on that subject, my wife and I, like I say, um, We were just recently on vacation, uh, before we sort of shared that before we started the podcast, but we, uh, saw a couple and just, just asked them and they happen to be celebrating at dinner one night at the resort, their 49th wedding anniversary.

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And uh, that, uh, was just an awesome thing to hear.

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And we've made it a habit when we hear people 49 years, 50 years, we say like, give us three nuggets of wisdom.

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Like how did you make it?

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Because as you have identified, it's so rare.

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Nowadays, I think we can get wisdom from people who have had a marriage that's been sustained that long.

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For sure.

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Yeah.

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I think, I think that was a brilliant move for you guys.

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I mean.

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Yeah.

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If you got the opportunity to ask, by all means, because.

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That kind of wisdom seems to be fading from the world.

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Yeah, we need it.

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One of the things we're working on here, best playground insult.

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You guys are around kids a lot.

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Best playground insult.

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Uh, mine would come from a story from, from my son.

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Uh, so he's, he's a really tall and, and bigger kid for his age.

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And for some reason, the, the littler kids try to test him.

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And this was like, uh, two or three years ago on the playground at school.

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And, um, a kid kind of try to start pushing him and getting into it with him.

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This kid's less than half his size, but the same age this is on the basketball court.

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And, um, he gets a rebound and the kids trying to wrestle it from him.

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And as he's trying to yank the ball out of Kylan's hands, he falls to the ground.

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Kylan didn't do anything.

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He didn't put his hands on him.

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He didn't push him anything.

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And so I was like, gosh, what'd you do?

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He just steps over him and looks down at him and then starts back to the game.

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I thought, man, that's kind of like this disrespectful.

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We see that happen in sports.

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Sometimes we're like the guy step over another guy and it starts a fight and basketball, but, um, I just, I just kind of, I shouldn't say it's a proud dad moment, but we are dad camp, maybe I shouldn't like say that's a great thing, but.

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Uh, he didn't get into it with the kid.

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He didn't, but I think he was trying to show a little bit of that alpha male dominance by stepping over and him like, you tried to rip the ball out of my hands and you're the one that ended up on the ground.

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Okay.

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I think that was a much more baller move than, you know, running your mouth.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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There was some honor in doing it that way.

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Know your place.

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Yeah.

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Jason.

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Um, man, I think the only thing I can kind of takes me back to when I was a kid, uh, Um, I was when I was younger, for whatever reason, my, uh, my ears outgrew the rest of my body early in age.

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And so I kind of had some, some bigger ears and I remember this moment being on a plate piece of playground equipment where, um, I was going to jump.

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Kind of off, like probably a, I don't know, it's hard to remember four or five foot, probably ledge or six foot, a little intimidating, but not crazy.

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But, um, and I remember this, like one of my friends kind of commenting, like, well, you know, kind of like, you know, just, just jump because your ears will kind of carry you, you know, float you to the ground and, you know, a little, little stuff that stung a little bit, a little bit.

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Yeah.

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A A little stung a little bit.

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So that just brought back a little memory.

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When you asked that question, hadn't thought about in a long time, you guys could be in any movie, what would it be?

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I would say a character in the Lord of the Rings to be a part of the, uh, the fellowship that's, that's, uh, on that mission.

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I think that'd be, that'd be probably pretty good for me.

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Yeah.

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Um, Creed.

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Wow.

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Um.

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Man, I'd like to, to be that ripped to look like that and, and to be able to fight like that, uh, and experience something like that.

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So, yeah, that just pops up to the top of my head right now.

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Creed, I like it.

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I like it.

00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:20.769
How would you answer that question?

00:14:21.078 --> 00:14:23.269
Oh man, I'm such a movie nerd.

00:14:23.610 --> 00:14:26.139
Uh, like that's for a long time.

00:14:26.149 --> 00:14:29.690
That's, that's just always been my escape is to just crash and watch a movie.

00:14:29.690 --> 00:14:41.240
So I'm honestly not even sure where to start with that is, uh, I, I have most of my favorite movies have such a range.

00:14:41.419 --> 00:14:48.529
Like I I'm a boondock Saints fan, total boondock Saints, totally not family appropriate, but I love the movie.

00:14:49.350 --> 00:14:51.509
Not sure I should say I want to be part of that movie.

00:14:51.509 --> 00:14:55.239
It was kind of little, little violent.

00:14:55.549 --> 00:14:57.519
Um, I've always loved the ethics though.

00:14:57.559 --> 00:15:00.179
Like the big ethics, like the last Samurai and stuff like that.

00:15:00.659 --> 00:15:00.958
Yep.

00:15:01.610 --> 00:15:03.009
It's just big sweeping at this.

00:15:03.029 --> 00:15:04.159
They just pull you in.

00:15:04.929 --> 00:15:07.889
And so I would have loved to like just be in that.

00:15:08.698 --> 00:15:13.828
That's crazy that you said that I literally just saw that movie for the first time four days ago.

00:15:13.830 --> 00:15:14.798
Yeah.

00:15:14.798 --> 00:15:36.294
Yeah yeah, I loved it my son and I actually were just in the in the room at the resort and Uh, we had a whole system to try to plug up and be able to use netflix or other other Platforms and we couldn't so i'm just flipping through and we get to like this hbo 2 or hbo family or whatever You And it was just starting and we got sucked into it and watched the whole movie.

00:15:36.294 --> 00:15:37.465
It was a really great story.

00:15:38.014 --> 00:15:38.434
Right?

00:15:38.554 --> 00:15:43.434
It's just like that really sweeping up where you're just like in it.

00:15:43.774 --> 00:15:50.634
Yeah, the visuals of the, of the place where they were in Asia and the whole story and the time period.

00:15:51.019 --> 00:15:55.000
Um, we thought, uh, Tom Cruise nailed it on, on his part.

00:15:55.019 --> 00:15:55.568
It was good.

00:15:55.818 --> 00:15:56.000
It was.

00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:56.340
Oh yeah.

00:15:56.490 --> 00:15:56.779
Yeah.

00:15:56.799 --> 00:15:59.989
I, I, it is one of those things, right?

00:15:59.989 --> 00:16:03.809
Cause like you can only watch certain movies when your kids are around a certain age.

00:16:04.179 --> 00:16:04.590
Yeah.

00:16:04.708 --> 00:16:06.469
I watch a lot less movies these days.

00:16:06.470 --> 00:16:08.788
I've only watched the expendables for yesterday.

00:16:11.099 --> 00:16:12.230
Got it a while ago.

00:16:12.230 --> 00:16:15.909
I finally watched it because my kids were off of something for the afternoon.

00:16:16.169 --> 00:16:24.109
Oh, I can finally watch that Best purchase of 100 or less in the last year.

00:16:24.109 --> 00:16:44.804
This had the biggest impact on your life Uh, I just this was like slightly more than 100 not like by 20 bucks, maybe so I'm gonna I'm gonna use this as an answer hopefully I don't break in the rules here a little bit, but I've, I've, I've entered the world of wanting to learn how to play drums.

00:16:45.354 --> 00:16:54.325
And so I bought, uh, an amp to go with my electronic drum kit that I purchased last year, uh, over Christmas.

00:16:54.403 --> 00:17:04.095
And, uh, it's been just this new outlet for me, uh, personally to just at night go upstairs and just, just hammer away.

00:17:04.628 --> 00:17:13.029
Uh, to some tunes and I'm terrible, but, um, but it's been a great outlet for me to just kind of keep my mental health good.

00:17:13.039 --> 00:17:14.910
So it's been awesome.

00:17:14.930 --> 00:17:15.440
Yeah.

00:17:15.628 --> 00:17:19.888
I don't, my wife appreciates it, but, uh, I've been having fun.

00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:21.338
Good deal.

00:17:21.378 --> 00:17:28.240
Um, yeah, mine, mine was a book, uh, by a guy named John Eldridge called Beautiful Outlaw.

00:17:28.894 --> 00:17:43.125
And, um, it's a, um, look at, uh, I, I said I'm defined as a Christ follower and it's a look at Jesus, um, through the scriptures, but, uh, it brings a humanity to him.

00:17:43.575 --> 00:17:58.023
He's pointing out how you can read through the gospels and if it's a two dimensional view just on that piece of paper, a lot of the, part of the fact that Jesus was also a man in addition to being God can be lost.

00:17:58.500 --> 00:18:06.009
And he's highlighting the emotions, the friendships, um, some of the things that he said that like, let's break this down.

00:18:06.019 --> 00:18:13.369
Cause that seems really odd or I'm have difficulty connecting with that, but it's just the best supplement to reading the gospels.

00:18:13.388 --> 00:18:17.709
Um, and gave me a perspective on Christ that I've never had before.

00:18:17.709 --> 00:18:20.339
It made a huge impact, uh, on me.

00:18:20.789 --> 00:18:23.579
Uh, and it maybe was 20 bucks on Amazon.

00:18:24.619 --> 00:18:25.349
I like it.

00:18:25.450 --> 00:18:27.449
John is a gifted writer.

00:18:27.464 --> 00:18:31.845
He is, I really connect with his voice when I read, uh, his writing.

00:18:32.404 --> 00:18:38.755
Have you seen, uh, he did, uh, I don't, I think he did it as a book first, but he did a, like, video series called The Epic.

00:18:39.255 --> 00:18:40.265
Yes, I have.

00:18:41.115 --> 00:18:43.564
Like that, that was just a game changer for me, mentally.

00:18:43.634 --> 00:18:43.743
Yeah.

00:18:44.105 --> 00:18:44.464
Alright.

00:18:44.594 --> 00:18:45.023
Yeah.

00:18:45.795 --> 00:18:47.934
To have it put in that context.

00:18:47.934 --> 00:18:49.694
And I grew up a preacher's kid, right?

00:18:49.694 --> 00:18:51.085
I grew up in the church my whole life.

00:18:51.095 --> 00:18:51.454
Okay.

00:18:51.525 --> 00:18:51.835
Okay.

00:18:51.835 --> 00:18:52.375
I didn't know you were PK.

00:18:53.115 --> 00:18:53.615
Oh, yeah.

00:18:53.674 --> 00:18:53.994
Yeah.

00:18:54.035 --> 00:18:54.924
Guilty as charged.

00:18:55.305 --> 00:18:55.555
Nice.

00:18:55.555 --> 00:18:56.384
Nice.

00:18:56.865 --> 00:18:56.974
Nice.

00:18:57.285 --> 00:18:59.669
The way he put that all together just took it to another level.

00:18:59.930 --> 00:19:02.170
The bible to a whole new place and level for me.

00:19:03.170 --> 00:19:13.818
Yeah, it's really helpful and and of course most men listening to this Have at least heard us talk about wild at heart, which is a great book for men period first John Elridge book I ever I ever read.

00:19:13.888 --> 00:19:14.828
Yeah, right.

00:19:14.828 --> 00:19:25.324
I think someone I think my mother in law gave that to me or something Yeah, it's a come kind of a timeless classic in the world of Men, Christian books for guys, I would say.

00:19:25.324 --> 00:19:26.624
Yeah, for sure.

00:19:27.204 --> 00:19:34.555
If I was to sit down at your house with your family for dinner, what is one story they would tell on you to try and embarrass you?

00:19:37.544 --> 00:19:39.724
Story to embarrass me.

00:19:42.795 --> 00:19:43.305
Huh.

00:19:44.253 --> 00:19:45.284
I got one.

00:19:45.345 --> 00:19:50.914
Um, it's, I can only tell it, uh, unashamed and unafraid because it's really embarrassing.

00:19:51.023 --> 00:20:00.159
Uh, because it was a while ago and I'm 50 and don't particularly care what people think about me at this point, but They would tell the story of when I pooped my pants.

00:20:02.279 --> 00:20:04.648
Yeah, so I was coming back from Mexico.

00:20:04.648 --> 00:20:17.023
This is back in 2008 And I don't know why I thought this was a good idea, but there was a little stainless steel cart Um, Uh, making burritos in the, uh, Cancun airport.

00:20:17.345 --> 00:20:20.924
And I thought this was a good, good thing to eat before I got on the plane.

00:20:21.584 --> 00:20:25.134
And, um, This is one of those, it's a bad idea, but I'm in.

00:20:25.144 --> 00:20:28.693
Yeah, speaking it now, everyone who's listening to this is gonna go, You idiot.

00:20:28.964 --> 00:20:30.693
Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking that right now.

00:20:30.824 --> 00:20:31.144
Right?

00:20:31.714 --> 00:20:46.794
Uh, we're going through Atlanta on the way back and Atlanta has at the time this really big snake line going up to customs and all these flights come in at the same time and we're in this line for a long time and there's no escaping the line.

00:20:46.824 --> 00:20:48.005
You can't go backwards.

00:20:48.005 --> 00:20:51.898
You can't get through where the security people are and um.

00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:56.009
It's, it's becoming critical, uh, for me at this point.

00:20:56.089 --> 00:21:00.759
And I'm actually dating my now wife, so we have not been married yet.

00:21:00.950 --> 00:21:01.730
Oh no.

00:21:01.789 --> 00:21:14.349
Yeah, and um, the closer I'm getting to the agent, and no one has a look on their face like they're just gonna let me go through, and the bathroom is all the way through, down the hallway, down the escalator.

00:21:15.029 --> 00:21:17.920
And there was a moment where I thought just take off and run.

00:21:18.419 --> 00:21:22.699
I, I had visions of getting shot in the back, maybe getting tased.

00:21:23.148 --> 00:21:25.689
And so that didn't seem like a good plan either.

00:21:25.750 --> 00:21:34.459
Um, yeah, so it just literally happened right there, standing in line, um, with my wife standing.

00:21:34.904 --> 00:21:35.253
Right.

00:21:35.365 --> 00:21:40.474
Well, my future wife, praise God, she didn't just be like, I can't, I can't be with this man.

00:21:40.474 --> 00:21:42.034
I'm out.

00:21:42.034 --> 00:21:49.434
Um, yeah, that's divine intervention, by the way, guys, because she probably should have been like, I can't, I can't be with a grown man that, that pooped his pants.

00:21:49.454 --> 00:21:52.693
But, um, yeah, so now it's out there in the ether.

00:21:52.693 --> 00:21:54.624
It is out there in the world to know forever.

00:21:54.815 --> 00:21:58.369
And, um, Now you, you, but you knew she loved you at that point.

00:21:58.460 --> 00:21:59.470
I mean, yeah.

00:21:59.470 --> 00:22:00.849
That's a big test, right?

00:22:01.674 --> 00:22:04.119
out our relationship.

00:22:04.119 --> 00:22:06.039
We're to the men out there survive anything, try this.

00:22:06.039 --> 00:22:10.275
And if she stays with you, you know you found the one . That's right.

00:22:10.575 --> 00:22:11.115
That's right.

00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:12.039
That's your filter.

00:22:12.099 --> 00:22:12.759
That's right.

00:22:15.214 --> 00:22:19.184
You know, I don't, I can't, man, I'm not thinking of a specific and I can't match that.

00:22:19.595 --> 00:22:41.984
Um, and like I said earlier, being that I, I've got three young adult children now, they're not, you know, three young adult, let's say children, three young adults, uh, they just kind of think everything I do is, is laughable because it's just, Rolling the eyes, dad, you're 50 and you're clueless and, and, uh, they just like to, to make fun of me, but I'll try to condense this story.

00:22:41.984 --> 00:22:43.183
This is really recent.

00:22:43.664 --> 00:22:52.213
Um, my one daughter found this to be quite, quite, uh, quite embarrassing, I think of me, but we were in Kenya together.

00:22:52.513 --> 00:22:53.534
So this is like a month ago.

00:22:53.534 --> 00:22:55.854
We were in Kenya serving, uh, with dad camp.

00:22:55.854 --> 00:23:00.474
And we were at this, uh, this, uh, we were in Eastern Kenya.

00:23:00.894 --> 00:23:02.683
We actually ended up having to stay.

00:23:02.694 --> 00:23:19.868
He was a, uh, And an Italian, it was Italian owned, uh, type of hotel and they had a pool and, um, we were, we had come back in from serving and we were just, it was, I mean, it was probably 110 to 120 with the heat index.

00:23:19.868 --> 00:23:21.098
It was just roasting.

00:23:21.209 --> 00:23:22.949
Humidity was a hundred percent.

00:23:22.959 --> 00:23:25.829
We were exhausted from, from our day.

00:23:25.888 --> 00:23:29.380
Uh, so we would like, it was like, Hey, we had, we got like an hour before it gets dark.

00:23:29.380 --> 00:23:30.223
Let's go run to the pool.

00:23:30.615 --> 00:23:33.365
Let's go run to the pool and like, just get cooled off.

00:23:33.394 --> 00:23:37.944
And it turns out the pool is like 94 degrees, but anyway, we're at the pool.

00:23:37.964 --> 00:23:40.924
And because it's, again, this is no disrespect.

00:23:40.924 --> 00:23:45.414
This is a cultural thing, but here in America, guys typically don't wear Speedos.

00:23:45.604 --> 00:23:47.463
Uh, that's not kind of our go to thing.

00:23:47.484 --> 00:23:48.098
Um, but.

00:23:49.128 --> 00:23:49.869
That's pretty common.

00:23:49.869 --> 00:24:12.839
So we're sitting there and I got my back to, uh, I'm just talking to the, to the group and my daughter and, and suddenly they're like, Oh, uh, we're kind of, we thought like the speedos would start coming out here and they hadn't, but then they started to kind of appear and I kind of just turn as they were kind of distracted by a certain guy that was, you know, sporting sporting speedo.

00:24:12.999 --> 00:24:14.589
And I was like, Oh, that's good.

00:24:14.964 --> 00:24:20.275
And they're like, what is good about a guy walking around in a Speedo?

00:24:20.285 --> 00:24:22.615
And I'm like, Oh, well, bad is good.

00:24:23.230 --> 00:24:29.079
And they just thought that was the most hilarious kind of comment to that, like, you know, bad is actually good.

00:24:29.309 --> 00:24:33.589
So, um, that's what makes this, this good is that it's really bad.

00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:41.410
So, um, but anyway, um, my daughter was very, very embarrassed that, uh, of my, You didn't do the Speedo thing?

00:24:41.479 --> 00:24:43.578
Cause you know, like when you're in, when in Rome do as Romans do.

00:24:43.578 --> 00:24:44.239
That'd be the next step.

00:24:44.239 --> 00:24:45.538
Like, next time?

00:24:45.608 --> 00:24:45.909
Yeah.

00:24:45.959 --> 00:24:46.788
I don't think I have the, time.

00:24:47.888 --> 00:24:48.779
I don't think I'm there yet.

00:24:48.799 --> 00:24:50.799
The next mission trip we do together.

00:24:51.109 --> 00:24:51.359
Okay.

00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:52.200
All right, Matt.

00:24:54.169 --> 00:24:54.648
We'll see.

00:24:54.809 --> 00:24:56.549
That's the daughter just walking away.

00:24:56.669 --> 00:24:57.180
Yes.

00:24:57.180 --> 00:24:58.919
It was.

00:24:58.930 --> 00:25:00.230
So yeah, I'm out of here.

00:25:00.420 --> 00:25:02.888
Yeah, you can probably just cut that right out of your, out of this episode.

00:25:04.539 --> 00:25:05.799
I don't cut anything out.

00:25:05.838 --> 00:25:12.569
So what is something that our audience should know about you guys before we really dig in today?

00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:18.259
Collectively, separately, whatever you want to answer that.

00:25:20.138 --> 00:25:27.039
Um, I would, I would say that, uh, to know that, uh, Jason Braun is one of my best friends.

00:25:27.750 --> 00:25:37.299
Um, he's a, uh, godly man that I look up to, uh, that challenges me, uh, that I grow from our relationship.

00:25:37.309 --> 00:25:42.259
There's a proverb that says, as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

00:25:42.709 --> 00:25:50.740
Um, I'd say that those relationships, really when you boil it down, are few and far between in a lifetime.

00:25:51.309 --> 00:26:03.689
Uh, and having just celebrated my 50th birthday back in October, I'd say that I could count on two hands the number of men that I've experienced that relationship with in my life.

00:26:04.779 --> 00:26:12.539
I just honor him, uh, by saying that, yeah, something you should know about our relationship when you see our interaction is that this is what true friendship looks like.

00:26:14.519 --> 00:26:15.078
Thanks, man.

00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:20.679
Um, yeah, and I would say likewise, uh, you know, about Matt.

00:26:20.690 --> 00:26:22.329
And I think that's why, you know, we're here.

00:26:22.329 --> 00:26:26.150
We're just, uh, something to know about us or myself.

00:26:26.169 --> 00:26:39.858
You know, we're just, you know, We're just really passionate about helping guys thrive and be the best, um, the best leaders and husbands and fathers, uh, that they can be and reminding them of just how much they matter.

00:26:39.859 --> 00:26:42.910
And that just kind of drives who we are.

00:26:43.009 --> 00:26:45.230
Uh, it drives our friendship.

00:26:45.259 --> 00:27:04.094
It's what Matt and I talk about, um, in terms of, you know, spurring each other on to that ourselves and then hoping that we can be an encouragement, uh, to the, to the audience that, uh, that God opens up a door for us to, to serve and, um, and so that kind of fuels me every day when I get up.

00:27:04.095 --> 00:27:10.374
I know it fuels Matt, uh, and to know you've got, uh, friends like Matt described how he described me.

00:27:10.374 --> 00:27:13.234
I would describe in the same way to have friends like that in your corner.

00:27:14.365 --> 00:27:29.619
that are, that are just, you know, that are championing you on to be, uh, to be that man, um, is so rare in, in, uh, especially in the world of guys, uh, that we find that and that we, um, And we rely on that and we seek that out.

00:27:29.730 --> 00:27:38.400
Um, and so, uh, it's something we both seek out, something we have in each other, but it's something we hope to, uh, to encourage other guys to, to experience in their own life.

00:27:38.539 --> 00:27:38.940
Yeah.

00:27:39.900 --> 00:27:43.069
All right, guys, we've been getting to know Matt and Jason just a little bit.

00:27:43.119 --> 00:27:49.450
In the next part of the show, we're going to dive into the dad nation podcast, dad camp, why fatherhood matters and so much more.

00:27:49.569 --> 00:27:52.980
We're gonna roll our sponsor and we will be right back with more from Jason Braun and Matt Crittenden.

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00:29:21.983 --> 00:29:23.233
Welcome back in the first part of the show.

00:29:23.233 --> 00:29:33.414
We just spent some time getting to know who Matt and Jason are and kind of what they're about in this part of the show, we're going to dive into their podcast, the dad nation podcast, dad camp, why fatherhood matters and so much more.

00:29:33.944 --> 00:29:34.345
Now.

00:29:35.054 --> 00:29:40.884
Before we dive down that rabbit hole, what pulled you guys in this direction of wanting to serve fathers?

00:29:42.904 --> 00:29:48.003
So for me, um, I'm a marketplace, uh, to ministry story.

00:29:48.144 --> 00:29:52.045
Um, and, This was, uh, back in 2003.

00:29:52.115 --> 00:30:03.125
Um, just felt that, uh, God was just kind of taking me in a new direction to take a leap of faith and to, to join, um, a church that I'd been attending and become a part of their team.

00:30:03.125 --> 00:30:11.105
And, uh, my role was, uh, to create a small group kind of structure for the church, a discipleship ministry.

00:30:11.105 --> 00:30:23.575
So, uh, that was, uh, That was the beginning of that and quickly, uh, my, just my bend or my heart quickly gravitated towards reaching guys.

00:30:23.664 --> 00:30:42.194
Um, seeing, seeing families being shattered, seeing families just, just, Just blowing up, seeing the lack of guys leading well in the church space and serving and, uh, and just trying to, uh, just got this heart for like, how do we reach a guy?

00:30:42.204 --> 00:30:43.194
How do we reach his heart?

00:30:43.194 --> 00:30:46.355
How do we call him back and remind him how much he matters to his family?

00:30:46.355 --> 00:30:50.865
And, uh, Uh, in the, in the life of the local church and, and just in, in our world.

00:30:50.894 --> 00:30:56.875
And so, uh, that then spurred on the, the questions of how, how do you reach guys?

00:30:56.894 --> 00:31:04.744
Because, uh, I think as, as we all know, uh, we are a tough group to reach and we are a tough group to inspire.

00:31:04.755 --> 00:31:07.734
We are a tough group to move and bring change in.

00:31:07.734 --> 00:31:13.365
And so that began the questions, uh, that eventually led to, to what?

00:31:13.605 --> 00:31:14.174
To dad camp.

00:31:14.174 --> 00:31:19.255
So, um, but yeah, that that's kind of the a little bit behind my story there.

00:31:19.454 --> 00:31:19.974
Yeah.

00:31:20.244 --> 00:31:20.555
Yeah.

00:31:20.555 --> 00:31:24.755
For me, I just, uh, I grew up without my, my dad in my life.

00:31:24.795 --> 00:31:37.605
Um, from the time I was about three or four years old, my parents got divorced and, uh, eventually he moved out of, out of town, um, uh, when I was around seven and then moved across the country when I was about 10.

00:31:37.615 --> 00:31:41.984
So I grew up with, with no real male role model in my life.

00:31:42.035 --> 00:31:57.015
And, um, I'll fast forward the story really far, but it was, um, about 12 years ago or so that, that, uh, Jesus saved me, um, and through the church that I was in at around that time, I heard about dad camp.

00:31:57.015 --> 00:32:10.464
And so, uh, me and my youngest son, Kylan went to dad camp and, um, It just spoke to my heart about fatherhood, uh, something that I really never had an example in front of me to even understand fatherhood.

00:32:10.904 --> 00:32:23.990
I was a father and knew how much I loved my kids and was trying to do the best I could, um, to be a good dad to them, but this ultimately ended up looking like, wow, this is something that can help me be a stronger father.

00:32:24.390 --> 00:32:28.339
And then Jason and I just happened to be, he stopped by a fire.

00:32:28.339 --> 00:32:32.910
We were outside of a cabin, just hanging out as dads in the evening at one of the events.

00:32:32.910 --> 00:32:35.910
And we had a conversation where we just connected.

00:32:36.319 --> 00:32:41.660
Um, and I remember at that time in my life, I was praying for God to send godly men my way.

00:32:41.660 --> 00:32:52.575
Like I want to have real authentic, Godly and Christian men in my life to help me grow stronger and, uh, in my faith and as a dad and as a husband.

00:32:52.575 --> 00:32:56.345
And, um, turns out Jason was one of the answers to that prayer.

00:32:57.164 --> 00:33:02.045
And he ended up inviting me to, uh, join, uh, the Dad Camp board.

00:33:02.599 --> 00:33:06.390
maybe like six years ago or so and prayed about it.

00:33:06.390 --> 00:33:21.059
It was the right decision for me and my family and just had a shared passion for what he's already communicated, which is reaching the hearts of men, which can be difficult, but with the power of God behind us, we've been able to, I think, have a lot of success in that arena.

00:33:21.410 --> 00:33:26.920
And so, yeah, sharing a passion together is what really brought me to dad camp.

00:33:26.920 --> 00:33:31.730
And I really believe in the mission and vision of our ministry and organization.

00:33:34.394 --> 00:33:40.295
Now, we have a mix on this on our audience here.

00:33:40.944 --> 00:33:43.654
We have some men who are faith based, some men who are not.

00:33:44.730 --> 00:33:49.420
Overall, you know, why, why do you believe fatherhood is so important?

00:33:52.390 --> 00:34:08.570
It goes back to, um, I think that's great that you say that, um, because I, you know, um, of course, as you've, as you've heard Matt and I share, we are, we are, you know, we have a faith and that's central to who we are, but we also know, um, there are so many that, that don't.

00:34:08.690 --> 00:35:07.554
And, um, There's there's a social side of what we see is called the father factor and there's also a spiritual side So you can speak to both sides of this depending on you know, where you where you find yourself as a dad And this isn't you know, we're not the experts in saying this We're just kind of relaying what the experts are saying But basically the you know, if I could sub it up as quickly you can you know Think about our daily headlines, the things that dominate our headlines every day that are just destroying our world, destroying our communities, destroying our families, like right now you can think of addiction and anxiety and depression that are just, just ravaging our young people today, even, you know, even people our age as, as, as fathers, um, you can think of, uh, divorce and crime and, and violent crime and rape and incarceration and poverty, I mean, just name it, there's, there's all these different So, things that are dominating our headlines and they're all just negative, uh, and things that are just ripping us apart.

00:35:08.085 --> 00:35:14.764
But if you take each one of those and you analyze, like, what is going on behind so much anxiety in our world today?

00:35:14.764 --> 00:35:17.175
What is going, what is behind so much depression?

00:35:17.175 --> 00:35:23.585
What is behind the violent, the, the, the increase in violent crime and mass shootings in the United States specifically?

00:35:23.585 --> 00:35:34.605
Like you can analyze each of them individually and in, every single situation, there's, there's, there's only one common denominator that seems to come out of every bucket.

00:35:34.945 --> 00:35:48.054
Um, there's a lot of different factors, of course, but there's, but there's just one that kind of comes, that's represented in each bucket, and in about 60 to 70 percent of the time, and it's a weak, absent, or disengaged dad.

00:35:48.559 --> 00:36:04.500
And so what the experts are telling us, if we could just get our dads back, just dads to love and serve their families, be present, be engaged to live out the responsibilities of of of of building into their families, being there for their kids and reminding them of.

00:36:05.235 --> 00:36:08.195
of, of, of who they're, who they are and who they're called to be.

00:36:08.974 --> 00:36:16.885
Every one of those problems that are dominating our headlines every day that we're trying to figure them out would go away by 70, 70 or so percent or more.

00:36:16.914 --> 00:36:26.224
Like if you can just imagine a world with 70 percent less anxiety and 70 percent less depression and 70 percent less addiction and behavioral disorders, all those things.

00:36:26.625 --> 00:36:35.715
It's, if we just get our dads back, we would see our world change more than any other thing we could do to try to help get our world back to the way we think God created it to be.

00:36:35.715 --> 00:36:38.485
And then there's, there's a, there's a spiritual side too.

00:36:38.485 --> 00:36:41.054
So I'll speak to the faith based guys that are listening.

00:36:41.414 --> 00:36:49.735
And that's what we call, I call it the 80 percent rule, Matt and I've talked about it a lot, but the 80 percent rule is kind of, again, this is not our research, but this is just what we've, what we've learned.

00:36:49.735 --> 00:36:53.985
And, uh, but basically like, uh, if you want your children to have a faith.

00:36:54.269 --> 00:36:54.960
Of their own.

00:36:55.230 --> 00:37:17.519
Um, if that's, if that's a desire of yours, um, if you are the spiritual leader of your home, when your kids become adults themselves and have a decision to, to make, to make, or, you know, to choose faith or not for themselves, that if you're the spiritual leader of your home modeling what it looks like, um, to have a faith in Christ, that about 80% of your kids or more will retain their faith for themselves.

00:37:18.295 --> 00:37:29.405
If you do not, if you are not the spiritual leader of your home, if you leave that to your church or to a friend or to even your wife, no disrespect to any of those things, because those things are all doing everything they can.

00:37:29.985 --> 00:37:38.105
Um, but when a father is not the spiritual leader of his home, what we're seeing is our young people are abandoning their faith as adults at 80 percent or more of the time.

00:37:38.494 --> 00:37:41.764
And so what we're realizing is that it's on us as dads.

00:37:42.195 --> 00:37:46.280
If we want our kids to have a faith, We have to pass it on.

00:37:46.289 --> 00:37:47.400
We have to model it.

00:37:47.699 --> 00:37:50.940
We have to be the ones taking that responsibility.

00:37:50.940 --> 00:37:52.619
So there's a social father factor.

00:37:53.050 --> 00:37:54.659
There's a spiritual father factor.

00:37:54.900 --> 00:38:01.389
And it just, it's this reminder that dads, you matter more than anything else in this world.

00:38:01.389 --> 00:38:04.389
And so, and we live in a world where dads are not told that.

00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:06.739
We are not reminded of how much we matter.

00:38:06.760 --> 00:38:11.710
We're kind of just we're kind of left left out But the fact of the matter is we matter more than anything.

00:38:11.710 --> 00:38:16.420
So that's what drives this Matt, did you have anything you wanted to add to that?

00:38:17.460 --> 00:38:26.309
Uh, just to say that I like to call that spiritual father factor our superpower You know, we've been in the last decade and a half where we see a lot of superhero movies, right?

00:38:26.309 --> 00:38:48.969
the whole marvel thing dc thing but um, I I want dads to know that you are the superhero for your children You And if it's the spiritual father factor, it's because that's the way God designed it, is that you have the biggest impact on the faith of your children, uh, not only by what you say by, but more importantly, by what they see do.

00:38:49.510 --> 00:38:55.559
And then to speak to dads also to understand, yeah, we speak from a perspective of being Christ followers.

00:38:55.849 --> 00:39:00.059
You may have a different faith or you may have no faith at all.

00:39:00.445 --> 00:39:03.514
This still applies to you and what Jason was talking about.

00:39:04.335 --> 00:39:22.530
Regardless of whether you have faith or not, you don't want your child to be, um, a victim of teenage pregnancy, or addiction, or abuse, or, uh, teenage incarceration, or all of these, uh, societal ills that we see, they impact our children negatively.

00:39:22.530 --> 00:39:31.139
And so, what Jason has shared many times, and what we believe is like, we have never across the globe, everywhere we've went, heard a dad say, you know what?

00:39:31.525 --> 00:39:32.675
I just want to be a bad dad.

00:39:33.445 --> 00:39:35.764
You know, I want, I want my kids to suffer.

00:39:36.244 --> 00:39:57.815
Um, we just, you know, that sounds crazy to say, but, but just trust, like, no matter the color of someone's skin, socioeconomic status, geographic, uh, position, faith, no faith, like, we've never been anywhere where we've heard anything or seen anything other than it's in a heart's, uh, in a dad's heart that he wants to be a superhero for his kids.

00:39:58.260 --> 00:40:17.059
And so this is why DadCamp is able to connect with dads all over the globe because we have this common factor in all of us and this power in all of us that if we can get dads to see how important they are and how much this matters, our dream is that we would see every family on the planet have a strong father.

00:40:17.420 --> 00:40:19.780
Like, that's a God sized dream.

00:40:20.465 --> 00:40:23.565
Is, does it sound like we're going to make it there in our lifetime?

00:40:23.815 --> 00:40:24.695
Probably not.

00:40:25.114 --> 00:40:29.335
But why chase anything other than a God sized dream if that's who you believe in?

00:40:29.335 --> 00:40:34.695
Why chase any dream, even if you don't believe in God or don't have faith, that's not something big.

00:40:34.755 --> 00:40:37.635
I mean, something that's going to make a real impact in the world.

00:40:37.974 --> 00:40:41.505
And we feel like this is the, really the most efficient way.

00:40:41.885 --> 00:40:47.364
There's a lot of vehicles out there that might be trying to reach moms, reach children.

00:40:47.605 --> 00:40:55.715
Again, no disrespect to those vehicles, but if we reach a dad, we reach the spouse attached to that dad.

00:40:56.114 --> 00:40:58.905
We reach the children attached to that dad.

00:40:59.304 --> 00:41:09.164
So, we're trying to focus on the person who was created to be the leader of that family unit, but And if we reach him, he'll reach his spouse and his children.

00:41:09.364 --> 00:41:16.005
And so we feel like this is the best strategy to get behind in order to change those societal ills.

00:41:16.704 --> 00:41:22.815
And like Jason said, if we can make change one family at a time, we are truly impacting the world.

00:41:24.155 --> 00:41:24.574
Love it.

00:41:25.295 --> 00:41:28.815
Now let's, let's roll right from there because you've, you've acted on this.

00:41:29.139 --> 00:41:31.900
I hear a lot of guys talk about dreams, right?

00:41:32.179 --> 00:41:35.079
And I love the statement about why not have a God sized dream?

00:41:35.110 --> 00:41:42.210
Cause I've seen so many men who are like aiming really small and whether it's faith based or not, I agree.

00:41:42.210 --> 00:41:52.099
If you're going to chase a dream, it should be a pretty spectacularly large dream, or you don't, uh, you know, shoot for at least if you're shooting for space, you hit the sky, right?

00:41:52.150 --> 00:41:52.380
Yeah.

00:41:52.880 --> 00:42:31.545
Uh, yeah, you guys have actually, But taking up this charge very seriously, which is incredible to me because I like said I hear a lot of guys talk But you built dad camp and you've also got the podcast now to accompany that going on So tell us about what you guys are doing with dad camp So as Matt kind of said, you know We just we've got this dream and it's to see a world where every family has a great dad because we just truly believe You know, if that were the case, that the world would be different, uh, the world would be closer to how we believe God created it to be in the very, very beginning.

00:42:31.545 --> 00:42:38.844
And so we just have this desire and hope and that, uh, to reach every single dad in the world.

00:42:38.855 --> 00:42:43.755
But, um, you know, again, we know that's, that's probably not likely, but we're going to chase after that.

00:42:43.755 --> 00:42:50.748
And so, uh, you know, being that we believe, you know, God is, is behind this, that, that he is opening doors, uh, for us.

00:42:50.869 --> 00:42:51.570
For us.

00:42:51.619 --> 00:42:58.929
And we are just trying to go through every single door that he opens to encourage, uh, another father.

00:42:58.989 --> 00:43:01.440
And so, um, that's the dream.

00:43:01.469 --> 00:43:12.190
Uh, so right now we've kind of kind of pulled that big, big dream and kind of maybe, uh, Brought it down into like kind of a more, uh, how would I say it?

00:43:12.190 --> 00:43:16.250
But like a strap, more of a 10 year kind of strategy of like, where do we want to see ourselves in 10 years?

00:43:16.250 --> 00:43:22.440
But again, that's just one step, uh, in, in the dream, but that in that 10 years and these next, uh, so we're about three years into that.

00:43:22.440 --> 00:43:31.719
We just, uh, we're believing to have influence to reach dads in, in 25 countries around the world and around in 25 locations across the United States.

00:43:31.719 --> 00:43:32.630
And that means.

00:43:32.974 --> 00:43:43.755
Not just one event, because we're an events based organization, but, uh, but to actually have a presence, um, where hundreds, if not thousands of fathers are being reached in each one of those, of those spaces.

00:43:43.755 --> 00:43:49.144
And so, uh, we're, as of 2024, we're going to be in 15 countries this year.

00:43:49.565 --> 00:43:55.054
Uh, and, uh, in 12, I believe 12 or 4, 12 to 14 locations across the United States.

00:43:55.054 --> 00:44:01.434
So excited just about the doors that are opening and, um, the influence that dad camp is having.

00:44:01.434 --> 00:44:08.454
And we just get to be a part of that story, but that's the dream we're chasing because we just really believe dads matter and we want to, we want to remind them of that.

00:44:09.014 --> 00:44:09.425
Yeah.

00:44:09.514 --> 00:44:10.695
And I would, I would add that.

00:44:10.764 --> 00:44:22.105
A lot of times dreams can sound like they're this kind of pie in the sky type of deal or like this ethereal or sort of, um, just an imaginative thinking thing.

00:44:22.534 --> 00:44:51.474
But you just heard Jason share how many countries that we're in and how many events that we've had the most, uh, impact and we've reached the most dads, uh, in the history of, um, dad camp's existence, uh, this past season and will probably exceed, uh, that this season, lord willing, but the remembrance and what really gives you some tangible type of evidence that dreams are possible is this all started from, uh, a dream, uh, placed in Jason's heart.

00:44:51.815 --> 00:44:56.494
that began 17, 18 years ago with one single dad camp event.

00:44:56.755 --> 00:45:06.775
When he was a family, uh, pastor at, uh, Oak Brook Church in Kokomo, he was asked to put together this event, like a father son, uh, camp.

00:45:06.954 --> 00:45:13.505
And, um, the church at the time had a facility, uh, called The Valley, where it's like, hey, put this together.

00:45:13.505 --> 00:45:16.215
So he did his due diligence, put together a program.

00:45:16.215 --> 00:45:36.764
But that was just one, uh, weekend, uh, event 18 years ago and, and now look fast forward 18 years later in 15 countries and um, multiple hundreds of events all over the globe, reaching thousands of dads.

00:45:37.224 --> 00:45:49.010
And so if you would have looked back at the time that he first had that event, And said, man, do you, do you dream of a world where every family has a strong, faith filled father leading their home?

00:45:49.269 --> 00:45:49.769
Yes.

00:45:50.190 --> 00:45:58.599
Um, 18 years from now, you'll be in 15 countries and have this many states impact and, and reach this many thousands of dads.

00:45:58.599 --> 00:46:02.940
And you'll have, uh, directors for your organization that are based in some of these countries.

00:46:02.940 --> 00:46:06.829
And you'll, this will be your reach and these how many families you'll be impacting.

00:46:07.320 --> 00:46:12.050
I'm sure Jason would have been like, Yeah, that's, that's a big dream that I dream.

00:46:12.250 --> 00:46:14.469
Don't, don't think that's gonna happen though.

00:46:14.875 --> 00:46:15.644
And it does.

00:46:15.644 --> 00:46:20.994
And so what you do is you look back and say where has God taken this thing?

00:46:21.465 --> 00:46:24.695
And so of course he can take it further.

00:46:24.974 --> 00:46:25.735
He's God.

00:46:26.235 --> 00:46:28.585
Um, and so you follow the dream.

00:46:28.594 --> 00:46:30.474
There's stepwise progression along the way.

00:46:30.474 --> 00:46:33.644
There's small, smaller goals that you set along the way.

00:46:34.144 --> 00:46:39.025
But you believe because you have tangible evidence of what he's already done.

00:46:39.385 --> 00:46:41.295
So it's not just some pie in the sky thing.

00:46:41.295 --> 00:46:44.844
It's not just, well I just dream big and just shoot for the stars.

00:46:44.844 --> 00:46:45.344
It's like.

00:46:45.775 --> 00:47:05.335
Yeah, that's part of it, but we have tangible evidence along the way that we are actually moving in the right direction that he's actually working because there's no way that Jason or myself or the other board members of the staff that we've had could possibly accomplish what's happened over the past 18 years from a human standpoint.

00:47:07.195 --> 00:47:13.534
Now, we, we spoke off camera a little bit about men tend to be a little harder to get through.

00:47:13.545 --> 00:47:16.900
Um, Right where we're a little we we can be a little thick.

00:47:16.900 --> 00:47:22.760
Um, I'm yes, sir Yes God God doesn't have to tell me something.

00:47:22.760 --> 00:47:28.500
God has to hit me with a brick a few times And I might start to be like you sure right?

00:47:29.630 --> 00:47:32.420
Why is it so hard to get to the third of the hearts of men?

00:47:36.320 --> 00:47:43.889
I mean, I think kind of what you've identified for whatever reason Guys are just, we're a little more stubborn.

00:47:43.889 --> 00:47:45.230
We're a little more egotistical.

00:47:45.250 --> 00:47:50.710
I think there's, you know, there's ego there, there's pride and, you know, we've, you know, we got it figured out.

00:47:50.739 --> 00:47:51.710
I'm okay.

00:47:51.769 --> 00:47:53.309
You know, I don't need your help.

00:47:53.340 --> 00:47:54.500
You know, I got this.

00:47:54.530 --> 00:47:56.199
There's a little bit of that, that, that.

00:47:56.530 --> 00:48:18.920
That runs in this, but the truth of the matter is we don't, uh, and, uh, and but getting guys to admit that and getting guys into a space where they're willing to, uh, to be vulnerable and admit that, hey, I don't have it all together and this whole fatherhood thing is hard.

00:48:19.315 --> 00:49:01.989
And, you know, from, you know, it doesn't matter what age your kids are, it's just, there's always challenges and it's not easy and, um, from our careers, from just life in general, where things, you know, things are hard at times, things are, you know, You know, we have, you know, just breaking those walls down for whatever reason, guys just have this, we've been taught, I think maybe Western culture is, is, is maybe guilty of this, like we, but we've been taught to, to just kind of be on the outside, like this, make this pose or this impression that we've got it together and we don't need your help and if, if we do ask for help, it's kind of like a, almost like we're, we're showing weakness rather than, than strength.

00:49:02.355 --> 00:49:05.175
Uh, when we reach out to our friends or for help.

00:49:05.235 --> 00:49:13.085
And so breaking through that is, it's, it's like a cultural kind of, kind of, uh, I don't know, like a Western mindset that's hard.

00:49:13.144 --> 00:49:16.965
Um, uh, but once you get there, uh, man, there's freedom there.

00:49:17.445 --> 00:49:19.625
Uh, I know that's, that's what I've experienced.

00:49:19.675 --> 00:49:20.233
Um, yeah.

00:49:20.815 --> 00:49:31.735
But yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a million dollar question, you know, for sure, um, because guys are stubborn, um, but I think it's, it's a lot of driven in the pride and the ego.

00:49:32.974 --> 00:49:49.590
And I think we have a culture, um, where we get both conscious and subconscious messaging that both gets us off track and convinces us that we're not as important to, um, family as, uh, we really are.

00:49:49.639 --> 00:49:53.929
And, and you can look to something like a Homer Simpson type character.

00:49:54.269 --> 00:50:00.369
I use that as an example, um, of just a horrible example of, of a leader of a home.

00:50:00.809 --> 00:50:04.800
Um, when I was growing up, there was, uh, I think it was called married with children.

00:50:05.159 --> 00:50:06.960
Was that the, the Ted Bundy?

00:50:06.960 --> 00:50:07.579
Is that right?

00:50:07.579 --> 00:50:09.010
Or, or not Ted.

00:50:09.030 --> 00:50:11.030
That's I think that's a serial killer.

00:50:11.030 --> 00:50:13.239
Uh, Al Bundy, Al Bundy.

00:50:14.320 --> 00:50:39.844
Um, and so there's, and I pointed out to my son when we see movies or certain television shows, but there's this, this, um, messaging that we're buffoons, that we're clowns, that we're not equipped to lead, uh, that maybe we should leave the responsibilities to our spouses, our wives, the moms will handle that, and it's, you know, Uh, it's just not true.

00:50:40.224 --> 00:50:48.215
Um, we've talked about that already here in the podcast that that's, that's not the way that things have been designed and that we are to be the leaders.

00:50:48.625 --> 00:50:50.275
Um, we are strong.

00:50:50.385 --> 00:50:51.585
We are intelligent.

00:50:51.704 --> 00:50:53.954
Um, our kids do look up to us.

00:50:53.954 --> 00:50:55.764
They do want us to be the superheroes.

00:50:56.105 --> 00:50:57.204
We are the providers.

00:50:57.204 --> 00:50:58.465
We are the protectors.

00:50:58.914 --> 00:51:03.523
Uh, and so we just have to keep those truths in mind because we have television shows and we have programs.

00:51:03.525 --> 00:51:10.585
print ads and we have movies and we have social media and all these things are slowly eroding that idea.

00:51:11.005 --> 00:51:17.204
And if we fill our brains up with that stuff, we can start to believe it from a spiritual standpoint.

00:51:17.494 --> 00:51:27.724
Um, uh, and for those of you that are faith based and understand this, and even if you're not maybe hear me out on this, uh, as Christ followers, we believe we have an enemy.

00:51:28.195 --> 00:51:31.684
And that enemy seeks to kill, steal, and destroy in our lives.

00:51:32.014 --> 00:51:42.485
And, uh, if you think about, we're saying the best strategy that we believe is to reach the hearts of men, to spur them on, encourage them, and show them how important they are.

00:51:42.954 --> 00:51:45.764
Well, the enemy would like to do just the opposite.

00:51:46.474 --> 00:52:09.664
To reach men and say you're not important, you don't matter, get distracted, chase women, um, you know, get, get, get addicted to substances, check out, this is all about you, you don't need to serve your family, you don't need to do this, you don't need to do that, uh, maybe reach into and tap into our pride and our natural arrogance and use that against us.

00:52:10.085 --> 00:52:16.295
And so, there's also a spiritual enemy that's working as well to try to get us off track.

00:52:17.375 --> 00:52:20.954
And not be fulfilling that role that God has put us in.

00:52:20.954 --> 00:52:25.264
So I think those combination of things are why it can be really difficult.

00:52:25.264 --> 00:52:28.724
We're fighting a natural battle against the culture and what they're telling us.

00:52:29.025 --> 00:52:32.684
And we're fighting a spiritual battle against an enemy who doesn't want us to win.

00:52:34.394 --> 00:52:47.090
Now guys, we're going to take a slight turn here because you guys said something in our pre show communications that I really think it's going to help get us into the right place for the next segment of the show, where we're going to talk about being a good dad.

00:52:48.090 --> 00:52:54.309
You said, don't let your pain and suffering dictate the boundaries of your freedom and what that means.

00:52:54.309 --> 00:52:57.630
And I really love to know exactly.

00:52:58.489 --> 00:52:59.980
What you meant with the statement?

00:53:01.420 --> 00:53:03.909
Yeah, that would be one of my favorite, uh, statements.

00:53:03.929 --> 00:53:06.050
Um, I did not write that statement.

00:53:06.050 --> 00:53:09.590
I actually read that, um, from a guy named Erwin McManus.

00:53:09.710 --> 00:53:12.820
Um, I think it was in a book called The Last Arrow if I remember right.

00:53:12.860 --> 00:53:15.429
Um, phenomenal book.

00:53:15.550 --> 00:53:26.849
Um, if you're looking to just be, uh, just, just challenged in your faith, um, stretched to dare to dream to be, to live on, live on purpose and adventure.

00:53:26.849 --> 00:53:59.405
But, uh, Basically, uh, how I have, uh, internalized that thought, um, because it's become so powerful for me is, um, we so often, uh, when we're hurt in life, when there's suffering in life, when we experience pain, when we, uh, when we experience an uncomfortable kind of season, We let that then in the future often dictate our behaviors and choices like um, sometimes When something is hard, we're like, well, I don't want that.

00:53:59.465 --> 00:54:27.784
I don't I don't want to go into that hard again So i'm going to stay where it's safe or where I think it's safe where I think it's comfortable I don't want to stretch myself and risk again because I don't I don't I don't I didn't like it when it was hard or uncomfortable but what we often realize is when we when we go into the You When we go into that pain, like for example, say there's a broken relationship and we, we decide, you know what, it's just easier not to have that hard conversation and that relationship stays broken and you stay in that pain.

00:54:28.005 --> 00:54:41.684
What we often find is when you actually enter into that and say, I'm going to seek reconciliation and seek forgiveness and we get on the other side of it, That that is where we experience true freedom because we inside of that relationship, there's healing and there's reconciliation.

00:54:41.684 --> 00:54:49.164
And there's suddenly that, that relationship is alive again, but we, we, we, we often, we often tell ourselves, I don't want to have that conversation.

00:54:49.164 --> 00:54:52.164
I don't want to go into that, that difficult, that difficult place.

00:54:52.485 --> 00:54:56.474
I don't want to go, uh, back into a place that I knew it was hard.

00:54:56.474 --> 00:55:00.815
And so what I believe is don't let your pain and suffering dictate the boundaries of freedom is.

00:55:01.304 --> 00:55:17.155
enter into the pain, enter into the suffering, and enter into the uncomfortable because I believe inside of that God will say, because now when you're going into that, you're, you're risking, you're taking faith, you're believing, you're trusting God for something that is not if maybe in your own control.

00:55:17.445 --> 00:55:25.965
And inside of that, He will carry you through and on the other side, you'll experience a freedom that you couldn't experience when you stayed inside of your pain and suffering.

00:55:26.284 --> 00:55:30.945
And so personally, how that's played out in my life is I was, I had a very difficult.

00:55:31.719 --> 00:55:45.760
moment in my life, um, where, um, you know, this is a long, long story, but, uh, but basically I went through, uh, uh, uh, I was on a trip, a mission trip, uh, where, uh, my team was attacked by, by gunmen.

00:55:46.119 --> 00:55:53.340
Uh, we went through a series of, of an intense battle, uh, where four of my friends were shot.

00:55:53.360 --> 00:55:55.449
And there was just on the other side of it.

00:55:55.880 --> 00:56:05.340
Um, there was intense post traumatic, like, suffering, there was a lot of physical pain, mental pain, uh, but I told myself that I would never, ever risk again.

00:56:05.510 --> 00:56:12.550
I would never, uh, dare or dream again because I was never gonna put myself or other people in that kind of situation again.

00:56:12.550 --> 00:56:16.300
I basically told God, alright, I tried that once i'm done.

00:56:16.329 --> 00:56:35.349
I will stay here where it's safe and i'll serve you here But i'm not going to risk again put other people in that situation again And about a year later, I felt I felt god saying Don't let the enemy win like matt just reminded us Don't let the enemy win in that situation and dictate the boundaries of your freedom I have an adventure for you to live.

00:56:35.349 --> 00:57:04.150
I have a purpose for you to live And so I need you to go back into that pain and back into that suffering And get on the other side of it and I didn't want to and I was scared You But I I ended up trusting and going to the other side of that and and uh, and because I did Um, I found I found healing I found reconciliation and now Uh, we have this ministry that called dad camp Um that's serving in 15 countries around the world where you know in that season of my life I said i'm never going to dare again.

00:57:04.150 --> 00:57:17.769
I'm not going to go to another country I'm not going to go serve in another context or another culture uh, but because I I was willing to enter my pain and my suffering i've experienced a freedom that I I can't even imagine like the story that I get to be a part of that God's writing.

00:57:18.090 --> 00:57:24.869
Uh, I could have never ever dreamed of for myself, but because I, you know, I didn't let my pain or suffering dictate the boundaries of my freedom.

00:57:24.869 --> 00:57:30.400
I'm experiencing a freedom that, um, that I could, couldn't ever have, have told without that.

00:57:30.400 --> 00:57:35.619
And so I just remind, I want to remind people of that, like whatever that is, whatever you're feeling like is limiting you.

00:57:36.230 --> 00:57:38.610
Don't let your pain or suffering dictate the boundaries of your freedom.

00:57:38.610 --> 00:57:39.969
So hopefully that spoke to that.

00:57:40.050 --> 00:57:40.440
Yeah.

00:57:42.670 --> 00:57:55.239
For me, man, that just looked like, uh, we talk about father wounds in, uh, dad camp and I think so many, um, men and women in general, but, but specifically speaking to men, we have these, these father wounds.

00:57:55.260 --> 00:58:00.389
My story was that I shared that my parents divorced when I was four and my dad moved away.

00:58:00.469 --> 00:58:02.539
Well, that creates a wound.

00:58:02.599 --> 00:58:04.159
There's a vacuum in your life.

00:58:04.219 --> 00:58:06.289
Um, that's just this absence.

00:58:06.309 --> 00:58:20.900
Um, I don't think I could have articulated that as a child growing up, but eventually, ultimately, I came to really despise my dad at the point that I realized that he'd sort of abandoned me and chosen a lot of different things over me.

00:58:21.150 --> 00:58:28.019
I just had this anger, uh, built up towards him and made this decision like he doesn't matter.

00:58:28.039 --> 00:58:29.289
I don't care about him.

00:58:29.300 --> 00:58:30.710
He didn't care about me.

00:58:30.730 --> 00:58:33.760
This sort of Um, don't care what happens to him.

00:58:33.760 --> 00:58:35.360
Don't care about our relationship.

00:58:35.780 --> 00:58:39.639
And after, uh, the Lord saved me, I was sitting in church.

00:58:40.099 --> 00:58:45.750
Uh, and this message was one of those ones where I felt like this spotlight was shining on me and I was the only person in the room.

00:58:46.289 --> 00:58:52.369
And, uh, the pastor was saying, like, you have someone in mind right now that you know you need to forgive.

00:58:52.909 --> 00:58:55.579
And you need to just do it immediately.

00:58:55.619 --> 00:58:59.219
And the forgiveness is for you, it's not necessarily for that person.

00:58:59.219 --> 00:59:04.894
And man, I just immediately had my dad on my heart and thought, like, I'm not forgiving that dude.

00:59:04.974 --> 00:59:06.724
Like, he doesn't deserve my forgiveness.

00:59:06.724 --> 00:59:10.244
At this point in time, we hadn't talked to each other for almost two years.

00:59:10.735 --> 00:59:12.914
And it was just like, nope, not doing it.

00:59:13.864 --> 00:59:14.844
I didn't do it that day.

00:59:14.844 --> 00:59:17.644
The next day, it's on my mind and on my heart the whole day.

00:59:17.644 --> 00:59:18.655
I still refuse.

00:59:18.655 --> 00:59:19.485
I'm disobedient.

00:59:19.485 --> 00:59:20.184
I won't do it.

00:59:20.824 --> 00:59:26.925
The next day after that, I'm on my way home from a late shift and I'm just like, man, I cannot shake the fact that I need to do this.

00:59:27.460 --> 00:59:30.690
Stared at my phone for a long time didn't want to hit the button called him.

00:59:30.929 --> 00:59:33.500
He didn't answer I left him a voicemail I get home.

00:59:33.500 --> 00:59:52.510
He calls me back I won't go through the whole conversation, but the gist of it was you know, what I forgive whether you think that I uh, That you even need my forgiveness or there's something you've done that needs my forgiveness I forgive you and Um, I don't want to rehash anything from the past.

00:59:52.550 --> 01:00:08.730
I just want to start a new relationship with you At the end of the day you're my dad And, uh, we were both in tears on the phone and, um, after we hung up from about a two hour conversation, I literally was on my knees in my basement, like, weeping.

01:00:09.570 --> 01:00:10.940
And I'll tell you what it was.

01:00:11.594 --> 01:00:19.545
I didn't know that there was a cancer of hatred and anger and things inside of me that was like a weight that was weighing me down.

01:00:19.965 --> 01:00:22.414
And Jason's has said this lack of freedom.

01:00:22.414 --> 01:00:26.985
I had a lack of freedom in my life because I was holding this grudge against him.

01:00:27.505 --> 01:00:40.054
And once I entered into the pain of making that phone call, of offering forgiveness, of having that conversation, on the other side of that, I had this freedom, I didn't even know I was boxed in.

01:00:40.394 --> 01:00:46.554
I didn't even know that I was lacking that freedom until that weight was lifted and I had it on the other side of that forgiveness.

01:00:47.025 --> 01:00:58.135
And, And, and to give you a little bit further part of the story, God ended up having a plan for me to share the gospel with my dad and for him to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior.

01:00:58.934 --> 01:01:02.704
So think about this guy who I was, had this hatred and anger towards him.

01:01:02.994 --> 01:01:03.925
He abandoned me.

01:01:03.934 --> 01:01:05.585
He didn't care about me as his son.

01:01:06.045 --> 01:01:15.224
And God in his amazing way says, yeah, okay, if you can do this hard thing that I've called you to, I'm going to use you to secure his eternity.

01:01:15.824 --> 01:01:19.045
And it's like, um, an amazing story.

01:01:19.045 --> 01:01:20.284
God gets the glory for that.

01:01:20.284 --> 01:01:27.485
But yeah, don't allow things that are painful, um, to cause you to say, you know what, I'm not willing to be uncomfortable.

01:01:27.644 --> 01:01:34.744
I'm not going to enter into that, uh, because the freedom that you may not even know is on the other side of that is such an amazing thing to have.

01:01:34.945 --> 01:01:37.364
And sometimes we don't even know that we're boxed in.

01:01:37.364 --> 01:01:44.585
We don't know that what we're carrying is this heavy weight on our shoulders that can be released if we're willing to do some hard things and some hard work.

01:01:45.025 --> 01:01:52.083
And I'll add to now the relationship that you have with your father now on the other side of that conversation is, is amazing.

01:01:52.375 --> 01:01:53.054
Amazing.

01:01:53.224 --> 01:02:05.135
I mean, a lot of my life I didn't have him in my life and the last five, six, seven years of relationship has more than made up for anything that was going on in the past.

01:02:06.474 --> 01:02:07.065
So awesome.

01:02:07.275 --> 01:02:10.625
Yeah, that is awesome guys.

01:02:10.655 --> 01:02:14.675
We've been discussing, you know, dad camp and why fatherhood matters.

01:02:15.655 --> 01:02:24.264
We, we dove into some deep, deep waters here in this last part, uh, talking about just healing and staying, not being afraid of the pain.

01:02:25.045 --> 01:02:31.364
Uh, because sometimes that's where men grow the best and life change happens in the next part of the show.

01:02:31.375 --> 01:02:38.599
We're going to dive into The wisdom these guys have gained in years of working with dads around the world.

01:02:39.179 --> 01:02:44.329
We're going to hit them up and get some fatherhood wisdom that all of us can apply in our own lives and our own families.

01:02:44.980 --> 01:02:48.139
And we're going to roll our sponsor and we'll be right back with more from Jason and Matt.

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Now let's dive back into the show.

01:03:45.059 --> 01:03:46.610
Guys, welcome back in the last part of the show.

01:03:46.610 --> 01:03:53.000
We were discussing the dad nation podcast, just a little bit, the dad camp and what they've got going on at dad camp and why fatherhood matters.

01:03:53.380 --> 01:04:09.789
We, we had it in some deep waters, but we have these men who work all over the world with other men, other fathers, specifically helping them build better, stronger, more powerful relationships with their children, helping them grow as fathers and.

01:04:10.519 --> 01:04:12.159
I don't want to miss this opportunity.

01:04:12.519 --> 01:04:32.760
So guys, we're going to plumb some insights from you today because I have a lot of amazing dads that listen to my show and I would be neglectful if I didn't take this opportunity to plumb you guys's knowledge and insights about fatherhood and how we as men can be better fathers.

01:04:33.730 --> 01:04:34.250
So.

01:04:34.969 --> 01:04:41.610
Let's start with some practical advice with now, you know what, before we go down that road, guys, yes, we're going to get there.

01:04:41.610 --> 01:04:46.690
I promise you said something in our early correspondence about answering your child's questions.

01:04:47.684 --> 01:04:48.844
And I gotta get it there.

01:04:49.014 --> 01:04:54.724
So let's talk about what you guys mean about answering your child's questions.

01:04:56.405 --> 01:04:56.815
Yeah.

01:04:56.985 --> 01:05:04.855
Again, this is, uh, learning back to, uh, a little bit of the John Eldredge stuff we talked about, uh, earlier in the, in, in this episode.

01:05:04.885 --> 01:05:07.005
Um, uh, but, uh.

01:05:07.585 --> 01:05:27.344
You know, answering a child's question is something we'll say, like, if you just do this one thing as a dad, like, um, I read, uh, or saw someplace recently that there's, there's somewhere between 75 to 100, 000 books now on parenting that we could, that we could access.

01:05:27.344 --> 01:05:32.295
So like, is it as a dad or as a mom or as a parents, you could be like, all right, let's go read a book on parenting.

01:05:32.295 --> 01:05:35.414
And you, you go to the search well, and you're going to find like, just.

01:05:35.775 --> 01:05:45.295
An endless amount of resources with a lot of different opinion and a lot of different advice and quite honestly I think for guys that's like, uh, yeah, i'm out like that's overwhelming.

01:05:45.315 --> 01:05:49.465
I don't even know where to start and you know Guys like it just keep it simple.

01:05:49.474 --> 01:05:50.125
Keep it clear.

01:05:50.125 --> 01:05:51.125
What are you asking of me?

01:05:51.704 --> 01:06:07.659
And so we've kind of uh kind of created, you know Some, some messaging around this idea of like, if you just answer your child's question, you're going to be so much further down the road as a dad, then there's so many of the guys out there trying to, trying to figure this out.

01:06:07.670 --> 01:06:11.690
So, uh, you know, a boy's question is essentially, do I have what it takes?

01:06:11.860 --> 01:06:23.099
Um, you know, and, and that's really the question of a man, like he's an, even as an adult man, I'm, I'm still looking kind of, uh, my core question is, you know, do I have.

01:06:23.425 --> 01:06:31.554
You know, what it takes and, and, and I look to, we look generally to our fathers first and foremost to, to, to get that question answered.

01:06:31.914 --> 01:06:37.054
And if we don't get it answered by our dads, we're going to look elsewhere to, to find that answer.

01:06:37.054 --> 01:06:39.704
And that's when, as men, we get ourselves into trouble.

01:06:40.034 --> 01:06:52.094
Uh, when we maybe look to, you know, I'm going to prove that I got a taste with another woman or in the, in the realm of relationships with women, or I'm going to, uh, try to prove it in the competitive circles, in the career circles.

01:06:52.364 --> 01:07:11.079
Um, But we need our dads to just remind us that, um, of, of this idea that, you know, what, no matter what you do, no matter who you are, you know, you are a child of God, you are a son of the, you're a son of God, and, and just because of that alone, and because you're my son, I believe in you, I'm proud of you and you have what it takes.

01:07:11.110 --> 01:07:19.500
And this, that core identity that that does in the heart of a boy, in the heart of a man, um, Um, and I say that you never stop answering your child's question.

01:07:19.510 --> 01:07:22.650
Like I have a, my, my oldest is a, is a 25 year old son.

01:07:22.900 --> 01:07:26.199
I still need to remind my son that he has what it takes.

01:07:26.230 --> 01:07:30.690
I have an 83 year old father that I still look to, to hear from him.

01:07:31.039 --> 01:07:32.710
You know, do I have what it takes?

01:07:32.820 --> 01:07:38.170
Um, and so this is the part of being a dad of a son that you never stop answering that question.

01:07:38.170 --> 01:07:40.349
And then for a girl it's, am I beautiful?

01:07:40.349 --> 01:07:41.269
Am I lovely?

01:07:41.630 --> 01:07:42.920
Am I worth fighting for?

01:07:43.440 --> 01:07:45.219
You know, are you answering?

01:07:45.635 --> 01:07:53.514
You know, that question for your daughter, because if you don't answer that question, she is looking to you, especially in those early years, she is looking to her father.

01:07:54.025 --> 01:07:56.135
Does he, does dad think I'm lovely?

01:07:56.144 --> 01:07:57.625
Does dad think I'm beautiful?

01:07:57.655 --> 01:07:59.255
Does dad think I'm worth fighting for?

01:07:59.255 --> 01:08:08.835
And if that question doesn't get answered and she starts entering those middle school, teenage, young adult years, she is going to look to go find that, that question in other places.

01:08:08.835 --> 01:08:10.675
That void is she's going to look to answer it.

01:08:10.675 --> 01:08:12.994
And that's again, where our young ladies come in.

01:08:13.255 --> 01:08:19.755
can get themselves in places where that, that can be very harmful for them, or they can make choices that are just not what's best for them.

01:08:19.755 --> 01:08:24.204
And those are the things we don't want to see our kids, uh, you know, in those places.

01:08:24.204 --> 01:08:35.414
And so as a dad of a daughter, you know, um, you know, reminding her each and every day that she's lovely, that she's beautiful, that there's nothing she can or can't do that.

01:08:35.425 --> 01:08:37.114
Like you're, you're going to fight for her.

01:08:37.114 --> 01:08:38.675
You're going to fight to protect her.

01:08:38.675 --> 01:08:40.005
You're going to be there for her.

01:08:40.005 --> 01:08:40.109
Okay.

01:08:40.369 --> 01:08:49.100
No matter what and she needs to have that foundation kind of built into her And so those are the the two questions boys Do I have what it takes girls?

01:08:49.149 --> 01:08:59.149
am I lovely am I beautiful remember they're fighting for and Just if you're as a dad if you're like man There's all these things that the world's telling me to do as a dad But just every day wake up and say how can I answer my child's question today?

01:08:59.720 --> 01:09:01.895
um That's a great place to start.

01:09:02.864 --> 01:09:03.574
Absolutely.

01:09:04.555 --> 01:09:05.835
And tell them that practically.

01:09:05.925 --> 01:09:08.965
Like, you know, you're saying, answering the question, say that to them.

01:09:09.375 --> 01:09:18.545
And, and let your sons and daughters know that those things are true of them regardless of their performance or lack of performance.

01:09:18.784 --> 01:09:23.055
One thing that I got in the habit of telling my sons was, hey, randomly.

01:09:23.420 --> 01:09:23.960
I love you.

01:09:24.560 --> 01:09:25.340
I'm proud of you.

01:09:25.770 --> 01:09:26.609
Proud of me for what?

01:09:26.670 --> 01:09:27.670
Because you're my son.

01:09:28.529 --> 01:09:34.060
Like I, you don't have to perform on a, on a basketball court, on a baseball field, on a football field, you don't have to perform.

01:09:34.414 --> 01:09:48.494
In your academics, I want those things for you, but, uh, this is something that was modeled from, you know, Jesus was, was baptized and this voice from heaven says, this is my dearly loved son, you know, who brings me great joy.

01:09:49.045 --> 01:09:55.994
I took something from that was like, you know what, my sons need to know that I'm proud of them and it's not performance based.

01:09:56.515 --> 01:10:03.765
So, so dads, if you want something practical, tell your sons, I'm proud of you in a moment that it's not tied to their performance.

01:10:03.824 --> 01:10:04.645
I'm proud of you.

01:10:04.854 --> 01:10:05.824
Probably the first time they hear that.

01:10:06.204 --> 01:10:06.635
Why dad?

01:10:06.635 --> 01:10:07.204
What did I do?

01:10:07.295 --> 01:10:08.244
You didn't do anything.

01:10:08.255 --> 01:10:09.055
You're my son.

01:10:09.914 --> 01:10:11.784
Tell your lovely daughters, Hey, you're beautiful.

01:10:12.524 --> 01:10:13.774
Hey, you're worth fighting for.

01:10:14.034 --> 01:10:14.395
What do you mean?

01:10:14.614 --> 01:10:15.635
Because you're my daughter.

01:10:15.685 --> 01:10:19.984
Just because you're my daughter, you're beautiful and you're lovely and you're worth fighting for.

01:10:19.984 --> 01:10:24.845
Tell your sons and daughters those specific words and if you can remember to do it, tell them every day.

01:10:25.189 --> 01:10:27.119
So they're sick of it, but they'll remember it.

01:10:27.510 --> 01:10:34.180
And I would add that, sprinkle in telling them that in front of other people, uh, in the company of others.

01:10:34.180 --> 01:10:38.789
Kind of like, again, the example from scripture, God declaring to the world, this is my son.

01:10:39.439 --> 01:10:50.960
Um, you know, I think that's so, our, our kids, well, you know, they love to be put on that little pedestal by us and to, to tell, you know, in, in the company of others, in the company of their friends.

01:10:51.154 --> 01:11:02.475
Hey, look, my dad thinks of me, uh, or like for, especially for a daughter, you know, man, my dad just thinks I'm a princess, you know, uh, there's something that does in them, um, that, that's really powerful.

01:11:03.824 --> 01:11:07.305
And that comes a lot like that's going to move your kids a lot.

01:11:07.305 --> 01:11:07.765
Guys.

01:11:07.835 --> 01:11:09.454
I, I a hundred percent agree with that.

01:11:09.835 --> 01:11:12.935
Especially I'm going to throw this layer on top of it.

01:11:13.524 --> 01:11:16.835
If you as a dad are raising yourself up to another standard.

01:11:17.635 --> 01:11:23.425
So I appreciate that you mentioned, you know, not in a performance, like not when they're on the court or whatever, your son's play ball.

01:11:24.635 --> 01:11:24.994
Yeah.

01:11:25.154 --> 01:11:25.345
Yeah.

01:11:25.345 --> 01:11:29.145
I have one oldest was a soccer player for four years and then I have a basketball player.

01:11:29.194 --> 01:11:31.395
I mean, for a man who hit a half court shot.

01:11:32.204 --> 01:11:33.364
Oh yeah.

01:11:34.944 --> 01:11:35.284
Right.

01:11:35.324 --> 01:11:46.975
That that's a, you know, be able to tell you, show your sons, like, look what dad can still do and then say, you know, performance based now that doesn't even matter, this is yeah.

01:11:47.314 --> 01:11:48.145
This is why.

01:11:48.175 --> 01:11:48.515
Yeah.

01:11:48.524 --> 01:11:49.194
Great point.

01:11:49.274 --> 01:11:49.954
Great point.

01:11:50.284 --> 01:11:52.284
I was, and you guys can look that up on YouTube.

01:11:52.534 --> 01:11:52.864
Yes.

01:11:52.895 --> 01:11:53.864
Look it up there.

01:11:54.494 --> 01:11:56.125
Uh, Matt hitting a half court shot.

01:11:56.164 --> 01:11:58.484
So, uh, Indiana Pacers game.

01:12:00.185 --> 01:12:02.125
When I was getting ready for the show, I came across that bit.

01:12:02.125 --> 01:12:03.364
I was like, wow.

01:12:03.435 --> 01:12:03.875
Okay.

01:12:05.625 --> 01:12:05.875
Yeah.

01:12:05.885 --> 01:12:06.734
It's a good video.

01:12:07.324 --> 01:12:09.845
I don't watch basketball, but I even heard about that shot.

01:12:09.875 --> 01:12:11.034
I looked at the data.

01:12:11.034 --> 01:12:12.545
I was like, I remember them talking about that.

01:12:13.574 --> 01:12:14.795
Like I watch enough news.

01:12:14.795 --> 01:12:16.335
I was like, I remember talking about that shot.

01:12:17.085 --> 01:12:17.604
Yeah.

01:12:18.255 --> 01:12:18.614
Text.

01:12:18.625 --> 01:12:19.055
Got it.

01:12:19.284 --> 01:12:19.635
Yeah.

01:12:20.255 --> 01:12:21.324
That actually panned out.

01:12:21.324 --> 01:12:28.694
Like I didn't even plan for that question to work out perfectly, but like that is the perfect start to the segment as we're talking to dads about.

01:12:29.350 --> 01:12:31.000
How to just practically be a better dad.

01:12:31.640 --> 01:12:35.380
I think that's the great foundational place with answering those questions.

01:12:36.640 --> 01:12:48.270
But you guys work with men all over the world and are doing extraordinary things at building stronger relationships between men and their kids and helping men step into that role stronger, uh, more effectively.

01:12:48.869 --> 01:12:50.529
So give us some practical advice.

01:12:50.529 --> 01:12:54.649
There are a lot of men listening who just like y'all, y'all said it really well earlier.

01:12:55.529 --> 01:12:58.170
You've never met a guy who was like, yeah, I want to be a crappy dad.

01:12:59.300 --> 01:12:59.739
Right.

01:12:59.890 --> 01:13:02.270
I've worked with men all over the world on this podcast.

01:13:02.340 --> 01:13:05.039
And that's one of the points that we bond on instantly.

01:13:05.109 --> 01:13:10.229
If they've got kids, like I can bond with another dad, like a drop of a hat or beans.

01:13:10.229 --> 01:13:10.609
Right.

01:13:10.670 --> 01:13:11.079
Yes, sir.

01:13:11.079 --> 01:13:11.369
Right.

01:13:11.725 --> 01:13:14.715
So give us some practical advice for dads.

01:13:15.854 --> 01:13:19.414
Yeah, I'd say I want to, I want to jump in and start with, um, priorities.

01:13:19.444 --> 01:13:22.595
Prioritization is a, is a big thing that I see.

01:13:23.064 --> 01:13:29.675
Um, and so there's only, I say there's this pie of time and, and so we can't create more time.

01:13:29.675 --> 01:13:30.885
It's what we have every day.

01:13:30.885 --> 01:13:32.055
We've got 24 hours.

01:13:32.074 --> 01:13:33.125
How are we going to use it?

01:13:33.664 --> 01:13:40.635
We have to fight for and make, uh, our fatherhood, um, a priority.

01:13:41.104 --> 01:13:45.534
And what I mean is there's so many things fighting for our attention every day.

01:13:45.925 --> 01:13:50.625
Um, There's work, you know, and we are supposed to be providers and we have to go to work.

01:13:51.125 --> 01:13:54.494
Um, But there's things that take us away from our family.

01:13:54.545 --> 01:13:59.185
It could be social media, it could be text, phone calls, emails.

01:13:59.574 --> 01:14:09.324
I'm not saying that these things don't have a place, but I'm saying to fight for keeping your, your wife and your children a priority ahead of those things.

01:14:10.875 --> 01:14:19.085
One of the biggest dangers I see is we have this, this electronic box in our, in our hands that really fights for our attention.

01:14:19.505 --> 01:14:25.215
Um, and that can take away time from things that we can be doing with our spouse and with our kids.

01:14:25.704 --> 01:14:35.444
And so one of the things, uh, that we do when we go to dad camp, me and my younger son is on Friday evening before we get there, the cell phone is done.

01:14:36.114 --> 01:14:50.585
Um, and so we just say we're, we're done with the phone and from Friday evening until the time that we're heading out from dad camp on, uh, Sunday around noonish or afternoon, it's just phone time is not going to be important.

01:14:51.020 --> 01:14:52.239
And, and that's a struggle.

01:14:52.239 --> 01:14:57.539
That's a fight to think somebody could text me, somebody could call me, I got to catch up on these emails, I got to do all these things.

01:14:58.140 --> 01:15:07.289
The practical way that that speaks to my son's heart and how I know it's important to him is because he's made me promise that that's going to be a part of us doing dad camp every time we go.

01:15:07.789 --> 01:15:11.050
Is that it says to him, I'm most important.

01:15:11.664 --> 01:15:13.454
Like, I'm most important right now.

01:15:13.454 --> 01:15:20.194
The two things are dad's taking time for it to be just me and him this Friday evening through Sunday.

01:15:20.244 --> 01:15:26.345
That's how important I am to my dad, that he wants to be a stronger dad and that he wants to spend time with just me.

01:15:26.835 --> 01:15:29.810
And during this time, There's no text.

01:15:29.850 --> 01:15:31.039
There's no phone call.

01:15:31.079 --> 01:15:32.159
There's no email.

01:15:32.390 --> 01:15:37.090
There's nothing that's going to be more important than me and dad's relationship.

01:15:37.510 --> 01:15:39.970
So, and you don't have to be at a dad camp to do that.

01:15:39.970 --> 01:15:43.810
You can just take that time with your child and say, you know what, the phone's gone.

01:15:44.069 --> 01:15:45.409
Let's do something together.

01:15:45.680 --> 01:15:54.479
I think that's one practical thing that will help you as a dad disconnect from what I call the matrix and make sure that your time is focused on your children.

01:15:54.479 --> 01:16:02.560
Again, you can't do that all the time, but make sure that when you have that time with your kids that it's focused on them and remove the distractions if you can.

01:16:04.500 --> 01:16:05.109
That's good.

01:16:05.130 --> 01:16:14.994
Um, this would be in the context of, uh, You know, um, or I, I, I received this information from my own, uh, kids.

01:16:14.994 --> 01:16:35.215
I think it's so valuable sometimes, especially in my, in my stage of life, um, as, as we, Matt and I, and our dad camp team gets a chance to, to encourage dads is to, um, actually ask my own kids, like what, you know, what really was impactful for you in terms of like your, like the, the family.

01:16:36.274 --> 01:16:45.614
Circle the experience that you had, you know, our family, what, what really helped you the most and becoming kind of setting you up to win and where you're at today.

01:16:46.005 --> 01:16:51.024
Um, and so recently, uh, we were talking about, um, spiritual formation.

01:16:51.024 --> 01:17:01.779
And so, but I don't think this, as I share this, it comes from the question of, Of growing your faith, but if you're not a person of faith, I don't think this necessarily just is for For this conversation.

01:17:01.840 --> 01:17:11.319
I think this applies in life and so hear me out, um on on just the feedback I got from my kids was the question was what Were what did I do?

01:17:11.329 --> 01:17:12.310
What did your mom do?

01:17:12.310 --> 01:17:15.029
What did we do as as as as your parents?

01:17:15.539 --> 01:17:29.630
To help you grow or get to the place where you've chosen a faith for yourself Um and what I heard and uh from my kids, uh in each of their responses was this word consistency.

01:17:30.319 --> 01:17:40.819
Um, and that's what I wanted to share, you know, in addition to what, you know, Matt is, you know, can't agree more this, you know, this prioritization, this intentionality, uh, is consistency.

01:17:40.890 --> 01:17:51.545
Like, Don't just talk about, be about it, and let your kids see that you truly believe what you say.

01:17:51.935 --> 01:17:55.055
Um, it's not just in words, it's in action.

01:17:55.414 --> 01:17:59.244
And so that doesn't necessarily just mean in your faith, I mean that in life.

01:17:59.534 --> 01:18:13.390
Uh, if your kids see that what you've tried to instill in them, that you are truly trying to live it out, and then they see the fruit of what happens when you've lived that out in your own life, Then they get a chance to say, yeah, I want that in my life too.

01:18:13.689 --> 01:18:18.569
And this is what my mom or dad did to get themselves into that position.

01:18:18.739 --> 01:18:21.670
So I'm going to follow in that because they did something about it.

01:18:21.670 --> 01:18:22.920
They just didn't talk to me about it.

01:18:22.920 --> 01:18:24.359
They didn't just preach it at me.

01:18:24.359 --> 01:18:24.804
They just didn't.

01:18:25.145 --> 01:18:25.864
Tell it to me.

01:18:26.625 --> 01:18:27.765
It's it's there.

01:18:27.784 --> 01:18:29.215
It's it was there to be watched.

01:18:29.215 --> 01:18:35.404
It was there to be modeled and I heard that from all three of my kids who are like I said, they're 21, 23, 25.

01:18:35.885 --> 01:18:42.204
They just said, dad, you know, you and mom were just consistent in the things that that mattered to you.

01:18:42.454 --> 01:19:21.375
And now that we've moved out of the house and we're starting our own life, what we're learning is like, is like we're going back to those things that we saw you do day in and day out that you were consistent in that led to where you're at as a man that led mom like to where she as as a woman as a wife as a husband those are the things we want and so all we can go back to is not just the things you said but the things that we actually saw you do there was consistency with the way you lived and the way you spoke and so That's what I would say, uh, just to be a man of your word, uh, to not just talk about it, to be about it again, across the spectrum of faith or things that are not a faith, just what is important to you live it.

01:19:21.694 --> 01:19:23.145
So that's, that's what I would share.

01:19:23.185 --> 01:19:23.854
Yeah, that's good.

01:19:25.635 --> 01:19:31.104
Now this is going to sound similar in the question, but in hindsight, right.

01:19:31.125 --> 01:19:33.524
Cause hindsight is amazing, right?

01:19:33.524 --> 01:19:40.164
It gives us so much clarity looking back from before you were a father, right.

01:19:40.664 --> 01:19:43.314
To that first time that they put that baby in your arms.

01:19:44.175 --> 01:19:45.274
And that journey started.

01:19:45.854 --> 01:20:14.704
Where you are now in your journey as a father biggest insight biggest takeaway Wow, that's heavy One one may I don't know that I can say one I have so much that I could share but I one that I think is really important is to be honest and transparent with my kids.

01:20:15.234 --> 01:20:22.314
Um, I know with my Jason, I joke that like our, if you have multiple children, then your first child gets the worst version of you as a parent.

01:20:22.385 --> 01:20:24.654
Cause you're just sort of flailing around.

01:20:24.664 --> 01:20:26.055
Like I got to figure this out.

01:20:26.064 --> 01:20:27.375
The second one, I have three.

01:20:27.375 --> 01:20:29.234
So the second one gets a little bit better version of me.

01:20:29.234 --> 01:20:30.975
The three I'm like, Oh, okay.

01:20:31.095 --> 01:20:32.395
I've had a little bit of experience with this.

01:20:32.395 --> 01:20:33.845
I think I can do pretty well, but.

01:20:34.210 --> 01:20:45.090
When I say being honest and transparent, I think there's a tendency to want to present to our children that we're perfect and they know better, first of all.

01:20:45.659 --> 01:20:50.970
And second of all, as Jason's pointed out, we need to model things that we expect from them.

01:20:51.340 --> 01:20:59.960
So if I expect when my children are wrong for them to apologize to me, when they've wronged their mom, I expect them to own it and apologize to her.

01:21:00.359 --> 01:21:07.869
then when I wrong them, which I'm naturally going to do because I'm a mistake prone and sinful man, I need to own that.

01:21:08.529 --> 01:21:12.359
I remember being a parent and thinking, you don't apologize to your kids.

01:21:12.550 --> 01:21:14.130
Like, I'm the dad.

01:21:14.199 --> 01:21:15.310
You're the kid, right?

01:21:15.350 --> 01:21:16.199
I'm never wrong.

01:21:16.600 --> 01:21:18.689
Uh, that is so far from the truth.

01:21:18.720 --> 01:21:23.689
And if I expect that from them, um, then I need to do it as well.

01:21:23.739 --> 01:21:27.055
And the fruit of that is, They respect you more.

01:21:27.845 --> 01:21:33.104
Because we had sort of some conversations between us men about, like, posing.

01:21:33.425 --> 01:21:39.274
And about, uh, men, uh, sometimes not wanting to be vulnerable and transparent and honest.

01:21:39.305 --> 01:21:41.925
But yet, how that's really an attractive quality.

01:21:42.194 --> 01:21:45.939
And how when we see men posing, We know they're posing.

01:21:45.960 --> 01:21:47.399
Like, you can't really fake me out.

01:21:47.399 --> 01:21:51.199
I know when you're being transparent and honest and real, and I know when you're hiding something.

01:21:51.590 --> 01:21:53.340
Our kids look at us the same way.

01:21:53.350 --> 01:21:54.119
Like, come on, dad.

01:21:54.119 --> 01:21:55.199
I know you're not perfect.

01:21:55.199 --> 01:21:56.329
Like, you're a human being.

01:21:56.760 --> 01:21:58.560
And I think it speaks to their hearts.

01:21:58.619 --> 01:22:02.430
Oh, dad's willing to like, apologize to me and say that he was wrong.

01:22:02.640 --> 01:22:04.279
Or they see it with your spouse.

01:22:04.619 --> 01:22:12.220
I try to, boom, as soon as I'm not right with, with my wife, with Jamie, I'm sorry and do that apology in front of my children.

01:22:12.270 --> 01:22:12.880
You know what?

01:22:13.079 --> 01:22:14.000
Dad was wrong.

01:22:14.220 --> 01:22:15.149
Shouldn't have done that.

01:22:15.149 --> 01:22:16.180
Please forgive me.

01:22:16.539 --> 01:22:25.029
Another part of that that's really important is, my children are the most forgiving human beings that I've experienced in my lifetime.

01:22:25.430 --> 01:22:28.670
Like, they teach me what real forgiveness looks like.

01:22:28.670 --> 01:22:31.529
Because they will literally, Yep, dad.

01:22:31.539 --> 01:22:32.149
It's done.

01:22:32.539 --> 01:22:33.399
And they mean it.

01:22:33.529 --> 01:22:38.930
They're not like harboring a little grudge against me and holding it against me and I hear it about two weeks later.

01:22:39.220 --> 01:22:41.899
Like, they literally just throw it away.

01:22:42.039 --> 01:22:43.189
Yep, I love you dad.

01:22:43.289 --> 01:22:44.460
Thanks for apologizing.

01:22:44.590 --> 01:22:45.340
It's done.

01:22:45.409 --> 01:22:47.699
I'm like, that's how I need to forgive right there.

01:22:48.039 --> 01:22:53.899
And so I think we have to be willing to be authentic in front of our children.

01:22:54.619 --> 01:23:16.619
Yeah, it's, uh, that consistency, it's not just consistency in the things that you're winning in, but consistency in the areas that you're not winning in or you slip up, uh, and that's being, you know, willing to, to seek reconciliation and forgiveness and, uh, you know, and when you screw up to admit it and you, like I said, you're, it's a, don't think you're fooling your kids.

01:23:16.630 --> 01:23:18.600
You're, you're not getting anything by your kids.

01:23:18.630 --> 01:23:19.319
They're smart.

01:23:19.510 --> 01:23:20.319
They see it.

01:23:20.439 --> 01:23:21.470
They know you're a mess.

01:23:21.470 --> 01:23:30.600
Just, you know, so just in your mess, own it, you know, and, and they really will respond to that and respect you, uh, and appreciate you.

01:23:30.600 --> 01:23:36.159
I, I think even more, I don't really have anything, you know, I don't think, I think that's, that's, That's huge.

01:23:36.170 --> 01:23:39.000
Um, that's a good question.

01:23:39.010 --> 01:24:01.784
Um, you know, one of my, one of my mentors just kind of summed up a life statement and I'm just gonna kind of use it, steal it, but I think it's been really true for me, you know, before being a dad to where I'm at now as a dad and just, You know, from a basically, you know, a young man to a midlife guy now is, you know, just this idea of, of, of put God first, life works best.

01:24:02.305 --> 01:24:15.989
I mean, I think as I have tried my best to do that, and as my wife and I have tried our best to put God first, we have experienced That just, life just works best.

01:24:15.989 --> 01:24:20.739
It's not easier, certainly not saying that, but it just works best.

01:24:20.760 --> 01:24:39.970
And so that's been our posture, um, and I can say now that, you know, um, on the, on the other end, or it's kind of the season of parenting where my kids are adults now, um, that there was fruit there and I, I would never trade that Posture like that is the winning play.

01:24:40.000 --> 01:24:47.789
Put God first life, you know, works best and um, God, I'll use it gentlemen out there listening.

01:24:47.789 --> 01:24:49.250
We're getting a lot of good stuff today.

01:24:49.260 --> 01:24:54.289
If you're enjoying the show, if you're getting something out of it, do us a favor, share it with another dad.

01:24:55.319 --> 01:24:57.369
There is so much value coming out today.

01:24:57.369 --> 01:24:59.239
Just share this with another dad.

01:24:59.359 --> 01:25:00.384
If you're getting something out of it.

01:25:00.784 --> 01:25:04.494
Because I know that the guys will agree with me.

01:25:05.255 --> 01:25:07.664
We just want to make a difference in the lives of men.

01:25:07.914 --> 01:25:08.385
That's right.

01:25:08.414 --> 01:25:11.324
So, you know, yeah, like my show or whatever, sure.

01:25:11.324 --> 01:25:11.645
Whatever.

01:25:11.645 --> 01:25:12.925
I don't, you know, I don't actually care.

01:25:14.135 --> 01:25:15.845
Share this with another dad who needs it.

01:25:16.194 --> 01:25:26.625
That that's the most valuable thing you could do if you're getting something out of this now, guys, as we start to land this plane, say I'm a dad and.

01:25:27.260 --> 01:25:38.369
I'm hearing this conversation and I just feel like I've been, you know, half assing it and phone it in and I've just not, and this is striking my heart.

01:25:39.479 --> 01:25:45.960
Give us three steps to start with from the end of this show to start moving forward on that journey to be where we want to be.

01:25:48.930 --> 01:25:57.430
Yeah, what I would say is, um, uh, you're, you're making a great point because what can happen is you can feel overwhelmed.

01:25:57.939 --> 01:26:01.779
Especially if something's piercing your heart, you say, man, I'm not hitting the mark.

01:26:01.779 --> 01:26:05.569
And by the way, we're not hitting the mark either.

01:26:05.569 --> 01:26:09.149
Like if you say the bar is 100 percent killing it on everything.

01:26:09.770 --> 01:26:13.310
I don't think either one of us would sit here and tell you that we've gotten there.

01:26:13.689 --> 01:26:16.000
Um, we're still figuring things out.

01:26:16.000 --> 01:26:17.239
I still have a 13 year old.

01:26:17.239 --> 01:26:18.850
I still have a 20 year old in college right now.

01:26:18.850 --> 01:26:20.149
And they, and he, and like.

01:26:20.895 --> 01:26:21.824
Jason's identified.

01:26:21.824 --> 01:26:26.395
He has an 83 year old dad that he's still looking to for the answer to that question.

01:26:26.395 --> 01:26:27.854
So, our parenthood never ends.

01:26:27.854 --> 01:26:29.614
So, this is a lifelong journey.

01:26:30.064 --> 01:26:31.904
We've not perfected it and we won't.

01:26:31.935 --> 01:26:33.515
We're just striving towards that.

01:26:34.085 --> 01:26:35.975
So, sit down for you.

01:26:36.395 --> 01:26:47.295
Maybe take some nuggets of what you've heard here and just write down the three things you think would make the biggest impact for your personal situation and your family.

01:26:47.664 --> 01:26:52.664
If it's the get off my phone, I'm on my phone too much, write that down.

01:26:53.140 --> 01:27:00.350
If it's, you know what, I need to be more transparent and honest, uh, and own things in front of my kids, write that down.

01:27:00.720 --> 01:27:12.720
Uh, whatever the things are that you say, these are the, the three things that I think would really make an impact if I would commit to those things and change them today and make it reasonable.

01:27:12.770 --> 01:27:15.619
I can change these three things and I can start doing it today.

01:27:15.949 --> 01:27:17.699
Just simply write those things down.

01:27:17.699 --> 01:27:20.609
I can't tell you what those things are for your personal benefit.

01:27:21.029 --> 01:27:34.319
Um, situation, but I think that you, you can identify three things and that makes it a lot simpler to say, I'm going to start with these three things, I'm going to commit to these three things, and then I'm going to start doing them right now.

01:27:34.409 --> 01:27:37.859
And then you'll see fruit from those things and can move forward from there.

01:27:38.930 --> 01:27:47.090
I just got back from Honduras a few weeks ago, um, had finished a, one of the, the teaching times.

01:27:47.090 --> 01:27:50.430
And of course, uh, part of dad camp is we, all of our content is.

01:27:50.835 --> 01:27:52.204
is driven to dads.

01:27:52.244 --> 01:27:55.975
Like it's, this is not a kid based organization or program.

01:27:55.975 --> 01:27:58.885
This is a dad focused organization where kids join their dads.

01:27:58.885 --> 01:28:03.284
And so I was teaching some dads, their students were out having a good time.

01:28:03.284 --> 01:28:05.414
We, we provide all that for them.

01:28:05.414 --> 01:28:17.914
But anyway, uh, a father came down to me and in his broken English, um, he said, uh, he goes, you know, I've got, I've got, I think he had seven children with five different women.

01:28:18.805 --> 01:28:22.600
And he said, um, I was A drug addict.

01:28:23.114 --> 01:28:24.444
I was an angry guy.

01:28:25.295 --> 01:28:29.555
I've been a really bad father and he was starting to get emotional.

01:28:29.784 --> 01:28:35.774
Um, and I would get emotional thinking about it, but he just said, where do I even start?

01:28:36.265 --> 01:28:38.034
And I think that's the question you just asked.

01:28:38.055 --> 01:28:41.145
And so I sell that story.

01:28:41.185 --> 01:28:45.984
Um, uh, and he said, you know, first, you know, he did identify goes a year or two ago.

01:28:45.984 --> 01:28:50.994
He said, I found faith and that's been a huge transformation in who I am.

01:28:51.074 --> 01:28:54.914
And, um, so, uh, but I still have, I've created a mess.

01:28:55.279 --> 01:29:00.949
You know, I've got all these kids with all these different women and it's just, it's, it's just dysfunction everywhere I look.

01:29:01.420 --> 01:29:02.420
And so what do I do?

01:29:02.720 --> 01:29:07.640
Because I love my kids and I want to be a better dad, but I, I've just created a mess.

01:29:08.560 --> 01:29:13.829
And I said, first and foremost, you need to know that God doesn't define you by your past.

01:29:14.739 --> 01:29:18.699
And so God God has a future for you.

01:29:18.880 --> 01:29:21.680
And so don't look back, look ahead.

01:29:21.689 --> 01:29:24.000
All you can do now is look forward.

01:29:24.449 --> 01:29:28.149
And as you, as you said, Matt, you know, now how can I reprioritize?

01:29:28.180 --> 01:29:36.420
What are some ways that I can start making changes to show my kids that I truly, uh, that they, that show that they truly matter to me.

01:29:36.420 --> 01:29:41.750
And, um, and as I shared that with this, this gentleman, the tears just started to come.

01:29:41.750 --> 01:29:45.630
And I said, right now, I said, you need to go find your son that you're here with.

01:29:46.375 --> 01:29:52.545
And I said, and you just need to go love him for the next hour and just spend some time with him and remind him that he has what it takes.

01:29:52.685 --> 01:29:53.595
That's your next step.

01:29:53.805 --> 01:29:55.194
Don't overwhelm yourself.

01:29:55.234 --> 01:29:58.654
Don't look, don't look, don't look to your past and what you've created.

01:29:58.654 --> 01:30:00.545
Look to the future and what you're going to create.

01:30:00.574 --> 01:30:01.755
Be a creator.

01:30:03.135 --> 01:30:04.635
Be defined by, by that past.

01:30:04.635 --> 01:30:06.225
So that's what I would want to encourage you guys.

01:30:06.750 --> 01:30:31.774
Uh, with today and to wake up every day and say, how can I answer my child's question if it's simple as that, like, how can I remind my son he has what it takes and my daughter that she's beautiful and lovely and, uh, worth fighting for to reprioritize as Matt has shared to be consistent and, you know, in the man that you are, I think, um, and to just take, you know, just take one step at a time, uh, to each and every day say, Hey, I'm mad.

01:30:31.774 --> 01:30:43.824
Remind yourself you matter as a dad that no one has more impact on the health and well being of your child than you do and so own that responsibility and, uh, and lean into it and remember that you do have what it takes.

01:30:43.824 --> 01:30:49.814
Like God didn't choose me, didn't choose Matt to be the father of your child.

01:30:50.765 --> 01:30:51.704
He chose you.

01:30:52.475 --> 01:30:53.475
That is a calling.

01:30:53.925 --> 01:31:00.585
And because he's given you that calling and that responsibility, God is saying to you that you have what it takes.

01:31:00.635 --> 01:31:04.154
He believes in you to be the father that your children need.

01:31:04.154 --> 01:31:12.595
And so to live in that, and God will give you each and every day what you need to love and encourage your child the way that, uh, the way that you need to.

01:31:14.895 --> 01:31:17.185
Where's the best place for people to connect with you guys?

01:31:18.699 --> 01:31:21.960
Dad camp dot org is our organizational website.

01:31:22.010 --> 01:31:25.279
Um, and, uh, we're an events based organization.

01:31:25.289 --> 01:31:35.479
We just love to create, uh, we just love to create an environment for you to grow as a dad and to create memories that will last a lifetime with your kids.

01:31:35.479 --> 01:31:35.939
And so.

01:31:36.904 --> 01:31:41.944
We're pretty confident after 18 years that your kids are going to say, dad, this is the best weekend of the year.

01:31:42.454 --> 01:31:51.074
And we're pretty confident that for you as a dad, because you know, there isn't a lot out there, uh, for, for men that's, that's building into us.

01:31:51.074 --> 01:31:52.524
That's speaking into our hearts.

01:31:52.555 --> 01:31:56.295
And so dad camp could be a place every year that you come bring your kids.

01:31:56.699 --> 01:32:01.020
And where your heart to be touched and encouraged, uh, and inspired and challenged.

01:32:01.050 --> 01:32:04.180
Cause every year you come to dad camp, it's not the same content.

01:32:04.300 --> 01:32:08.229
We commit to you to bringing something new every year to you, a different experience to you every year.

01:32:08.229 --> 01:32:11.529
So, you know, when you're coming with your child, Oh, I've been there, done that.

01:32:11.890 --> 01:32:24.750
Um, maybe you come back to the same venue, some of the similar activities like, Hey, we're going to go on the zip line again this year, or we're going to do, go on that canoeing trip again this year, that might look the same, but the content and the conversations.

01:32:25.090 --> 01:32:34.180
Uh that are being given to you are going to be different and we're going to also give you a chance to to bless Your kids in the most in the coolest ways that uh are really powerful So yeah dadcamp.

01:32:34.180 --> 01:32:41.489
org is is where you can Best place, uh best place to find us and through our you know through the contact there on the website You can get to us as well.

01:32:42.239 --> 01:32:44.590
You can check us out on the Dad Nation podcast as well.

01:32:44.590 --> 01:32:58.819
We are using content, um, and just talking about all things, uh, fatherhood and just having natural, normal conversations as dads, trying to share some wisdom, try to add value to you men as dads.

01:32:59.149 --> 01:33:01.710
And, uh, that's another great way to connect with us as well.

01:33:01.750 --> 01:33:01.890
Yeah.

01:33:01.890 --> 01:33:07.079
We just do once a month where we just try to do what you're doing here on this podcast, uh, but we're speaking just.

01:33:07.574 --> 01:33:12.795
Directly to dads, uh, just once a month, just trying to be a space to encourage guys.

01:33:12.805 --> 01:33:14.024
So yeah, it's another good space.

01:33:15.350 --> 01:33:19.090
Now, point of clarity, because I, like, I'm a dad of two girls.

01:33:19.909 --> 01:33:25.760
So, dad camp, I know you bring one of your children with you, right?

01:33:25.970 --> 01:33:27.220
You can bring two if you want.

01:33:27.359 --> 01:33:33.029
Uh, we, we encourage you to bring one, just because dad camp in its name is for you.

01:33:33.090 --> 01:33:34.500
It's not for your daughters.

01:33:34.510 --> 01:33:35.539
It's for your sons.

01:33:35.550 --> 01:33:39.010
It, it's an amazing experience for them because they get a weekend to do it.

01:33:39.060 --> 01:33:40.300
With dad, all of themselves.

01:33:40.300 --> 01:33:41.319
And it's a lot of fun.

01:33:41.380 --> 01:33:43.569
There's, if it's not fun, you guys aren't going to come back.

01:33:43.579 --> 01:33:45.460
And if it's not fun, dads aren't going to come back.

01:33:45.460 --> 01:33:49.779
So it is a ton of fun, but it's also built for you as a dad.

01:33:49.779 --> 01:33:51.279
So we encourage you to bring one.

01:33:51.279 --> 01:33:56.390
That way you can just kind of focus on you as much as you know, in that, in that one relationship.

01:33:56.409 --> 01:33:59.210
But, but you have the option to bring more than one if you want.

01:33:59.250 --> 01:34:03.060
Um, and then it's set up where, uh, they're elementary dad camps.

01:34:03.060 --> 01:34:05.430
There's middle school dad camps and there's high school dad camps.

01:34:05.439 --> 01:34:09.449
So depending on the age of your child, um, if they're in school.

01:34:09.534 --> 01:34:11.045
There's a, there's a dad camp for you.

01:34:11.055 --> 01:34:13.914
So, um, but, uh, that's kind of how they're, they're broken down.

01:34:13.914 --> 01:34:20.414
There's father, son, there's father, daughter, and there's, uh, there's also weekends that are co ed that we also have.

01:34:20.414 --> 01:34:24.914
We, if you have a son or a daughter, you can bring, um, and we'll, we'll create that experience for you.

01:34:24.994 --> 01:34:38.284
And to speak to that a little bit, I've, I've talked to a lot of dads that have, uh, multiple children and those children may fit into that age range together and literally without fail, they've said, man, this was amazing, amazing investment in myself as a dad.

01:34:38.635 --> 01:34:40.125
And my kids had a blast.

01:34:40.345 --> 01:34:46.295
One thing I'm going to change is, I'm going to come with one, one of my daughters or one of my sons next time.

01:34:46.295 --> 01:34:54.604
And I think any dads out there hearing this or listening and you have multiple children, you know, it's hard to get one on one time with each child.

01:34:54.654 --> 01:34:56.494
It just is in the family dynamic.

01:34:56.494 --> 01:34:58.085
It's not always possible.

01:34:58.085 --> 01:34:59.625
It doesn't always make a lot of sense.

01:35:00.050 --> 01:35:06.079
And siblings will battle for your attention, like that's normal, natural sibling behavior.

01:35:06.449 --> 01:35:12.050
And so what I found was like, man, having that one on one time, again, speaks to your child's heart.

01:35:12.069 --> 01:35:17.119
Hey, dad is, is taking carving this time out, especially for me this time.

01:35:17.390 --> 01:35:23.250
And I think it helps to grow your closeness and your bond with that specific son or daughter during that time.

01:35:25.744 --> 01:35:26.845
Thank you for that clarification.

01:35:26.845 --> 01:35:30.435
Cause I was, I was like sitting here going, I don't have a little boy.

01:35:30.454 --> 01:35:31.484
Can I do this a little girl?

01:35:31.484 --> 01:35:31.685
Right.

01:35:31.685 --> 01:35:35.694
So I want to make sure that all of our listeners clearly for sure.

01:35:35.755 --> 01:35:42.654
Yeah, now, and I know everybody is really concerned about the trivia question in the beginning about which Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy is actually.

01:35:43.024 --> 01:35:45.904
On the Quidditch team, that would be two, you guessed three.

01:35:45.975 --> 01:35:52.324
Oh, that would be the second book, the Chamber of Secrets, where his dad buys him onto the team with new brooms for the whole team.

01:35:52.715 --> 01:35:58.234
I know everybody actually cared, not really, but sure enough, I don't answer it.

01:35:58.465 --> 01:35:59.895
I've had, I've done that before.

01:35:59.895 --> 01:36:00.935
I just didn't answer the question.

01:36:00.944 --> 01:36:02.284
Like what happened to the answer to that?

01:36:02.685 --> 01:36:04.725
I've gotten nasty notes, like, yeah, right.

01:36:06.345 --> 01:36:10.425
So we answered that guys wrap us out collectively.

01:36:11.715 --> 01:36:20.274
If our audience got nothing else out of this episode, if they heard nothing else, we said, what is the one thing you want them to hear?

01:36:22.104 --> 01:36:22.784
You matter.

01:36:23.494 --> 01:36:28.704
Uh, you matter more than you understand and wake up every day.

01:36:29.414 --> 01:36:34.875
And I believe if we have, you know, we've got, we wear a lot of hats as dads or as men.

01:36:35.175 --> 01:36:36.505
Um, we wear a lot of hats.

01:36:37.024 --> 01:36:41.585
I think the hat of a father and a husband is the most important hat.

01:36:42.199 --> 01:36:49.170
that we wear, um, and don't let the culture feed you a lie that, um, that that's not an important hat and that you don't matter.

01:36:49.569 --> 01:36:59.000
Um, because what we know to be true is this thing called the father factor that no one has more impact on the health and well being of your child than you do.

01:36:59.050 --> 01:37:10.210
And I know, uh, you wouldn't be listening to this podcast, uh, whether you're just, if you're not a dad, you're just, you're just a guy you're listening, but as a dad, like, um, you love your kids.

01:37:10.409 --> 01:37:11.159
And so.

01:37:11.925 --> 01:37:17.244
Remember how much you matter and how much your kids need that from you.

01:37:18.465 --> 01:37:18.845
Alright.

01:37:18.944 --> 01:37:22.055
Yeah, for me it's um, we, we've shared our faith.

01:37:22.095 --> 01:37:24.744
We are, uh, bold and courageous about it.

01:37:24.744 --> 01:37:42.960
We're unafraid and unashamed and um, I want guys to know we didn't necessarily make this specific point, but we just believe that the best man that I can be, the best father that I can be, the best husband I can be is following after the perfect man.

01:37:43.069 --> 01:37:47.180
And there was only one perfect man that ever lived and that was Jesus Christ.

01:37:47.279 --> 01:37:47.729
Amen.

01:37:47.729 --> 01:37:47.949
Amen.

01:37:48.350 --> 01:38:04.579
We would never sit here and say that we have become the men that we are because we just gritted our teeth And just really worked hard and said We want to be better and we're not saying you can't improve and we're not saying that you have to be a follower of christ To to grow and be stronger.

01:38:04.930 --> 01:38:13.354
We're just saying that we firmly believe that the best version of ourselves is following after the version that God created us to be.

01:38:13.694 --> 01:38:17.555
And so we believe that that comes from a surrendered life to the Lordship of Christ.

01:38:17.555 --> 01:38:29.465
And so, uh, to the listeners out there that would be receptive to that message, I would say, um, figure out what that means for you, figure out what repentance and turning to God and surrendering your life to Christ is.

01:38:29.854 --> 01:38:36.395
Um, and that would be the biggest nugget of wisdom that I could give on this podcast today.

01:38:38.225 --> 01:38:47.595
Guys, we appreciate you taking the time to hang out with us and give us a chance, share this podcast with somebody, change lives, go and spend time with your kids.

01:38:47.935 --> 01:38:51.534
Because now you've always wanted to be for Jason and Matt and myself.

01:38:51.914 --> 01:38:52.875
Thanks for hanging out with us.

01:38:52.904 --> 01:38:54.715
Be better tomorrow because of what you do today.

01:38:54.765 --> 01:38:55.614
And we'll see you on the next one.

01:38:57.494 --> 01:38:59.994
This has been the fellow man podcast.

01:39:00.619 --> 01:39:04.050
You're home for everything man, husband, and father.

01:39:04.770 --> 01:39:07.260
Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show.

01:39:07.949 --> 01:39:09.970
Head over to www.

01:39:10.159 --> 01:39:10.449
TheFallibleMan.

01:39:11.649 --> 01:39:15.750
com for more content and get your own Fallible Man gear.