Embody Authentic Masculinity: Candid Insights for Modern Men

Embody Authentic Masculinity: Candid Insights for Modern Men

Guys, if somebody you trusted respected and looked up to you, just stone cold, called you a pussy, would you pause and think about it? I mean, really pause, not like guys who just tease each other and like, no, like actually a stone cold called you out. Would it motivate you? Would it inspire you? Would it cause you to reexamine some things in your life?

masculinity is critical to your life and your culture and to society at large. But today on the Fallible Man Podcast, I've got CEO and serial entrepreneur, Calvin Corelli. Calvin was more successful professionally by his early to mid twenties than a lot of men will ever be. But one day he got called out by somebody he believed in.

He already had an inkling that something was missing in his life. But chasing his masculinity made all the difference in the world. [00:01:00] Now it's not what you think. It's not what society wants to tell you. It is. But in this conversation, you're going to find out how chasing your masculinity will help you succeed in your life because it's a superpower for who you're really meant to be.

Let's get into it. Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential growing to the men we dream of becoming while taking care of our responsibilities, working, living, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves. Well, that's the big question. And in this podcast, we'll help you with those answers and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man podcast. Welcome to the Fallible Man podcast. You're home for all things, man, husband, father, big shout out to Fallible Nation. That's our long time listeners. We'd love to have you join that group and a warm welcome to our first time listeners, Hey, there is a lot competing for your attention.

So from the bottom of my heart, thanks for giving us a chance and be sure and connect with me at the Fallible Man on most social media platforms. I'm [00:02:00] especially active on Instagram. Let me know what you thought of the show. I'd love to get your opinion. If you really enjoy it, share it with a friend.

That's the biggest compliment you ever give us. My name is Brent and today's my guest is founder and CEO of Simplero and Sarah Sarah entrepreneur, Calvin Corelli. Calvin, welcome to the fallible man podcast.

Calvin Correli: Thank you so much for having me Brent. Yeah, I love I love what you do here for for guys because I was definitely that man in my 30s that was at that moment of of like what the F am I doing with my life and I had to make some radical life decisions that haven't always been easy, but have definitely been um the right ones Not always made in the right way, but ultimately the right choices, um, for me, but it was, it was tough.

Brent Dowlen: Now, when we'd like to start this show with a little softball, just getting to know who you are today in this moment, we'll get into backstory and all kinds of stuff, but we're, we're going to lay this up nice and easy and just give our audience a chance to get to know [00:03:00] you. How's your trivia skills?

Calvin Correli: How am I, what skills?

Trivia. Trivia skills? Crap. They're not good.

Brent Dowlen: I get that reaction a lot. Yeah. In the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, which was based on a Shakespearean play, which play was it based on? Was it A. The Taming of the Shrew, B. Hamlet, C. Romeo and Juliet, or D. A Midsummer Night's Dream?

Calvin Correli: I have no freaking clue.

Big one at random.

Brent Dowlen: Go for it.

Calvin Correli: Uh.

Brent Dowlen: Oh, you.

Calvin Correli: I didn't, I didn't, I'm not sure what the first one was. Let's go with that.

Brent Dowlen: Okay. That's Taimi of the Shrew. Now guys, you know the rules. Don't cheat. Don't look ahead. And for goodness sake, if you're driving, don't write down your answer. Just wait till the end of the show.

Now, Calvin, there is no wrong answer for the first questions in the show. So we'll just wipe that off the table. Don't worry about that. Today, in this moment, as a person, who is [00:04:00] Calvin Corelli?

Calvin Correli: Free. Um, I think most, most of my life and most people have this yearning to just be free to be who they are. And I feel, um, I feel really proud of, of having, I feel like I've accomplished that. Like it took me 50 years to get there, but, but it was like letting go of all the stories and lies about who I thought I had to be, or be that I was wrong, or I did something wrong and.

You know, all that stuff and just be able to be me.

Brent Dowlen: Um,

Calvin Correli: yeah.

Brent Dowlen: I like it. Cereal. Is it a soup?

Calvin Correli: Cereal? Is it a soup? Yeah. No, isn't it? It's mostly like sawdust and garbage, I think.

Brent Dowlen: [00:05:00] Fair enough. One just totally random weird fact about you that people don't know.

Calvin Correli: Um, lived in India for a year and, and figured I would start driving a motorcycle in Indian traffic with no, like, training and riding motorcycles.

Brent Dowlen: How'd that go for you?

Calvin Correli: It went pretty well, but I was definitely had some, uh, definitely some scary moments. I was coming, riding in the mountains during the monsoon and coming down a hairpin turn. And a bus came up in my side of the road, like the buses in India are, they don't give a fuck. They will just drive wherever and they, you move out of the way.

Um, and so this bus was coming up in my side of the road, right around the turn. So it's just, you pull off the road as fast as you humanly can, because you're going to be smashed by a bus otherwise. It's pretty wild. Like you're on the freeway and, and there's a bus coming against you at full speed. And it'll just, If there's a cow in its lane, which will happen, [00:06:00] it'll just swerve outside of the cow.

Cause like cows are sacred and with no regards to who's in the other, the other lane, like coming, coming towards it. Right. So yeah, it's, you gotta, you gotta pay attention and in traffic.

Brent Dowlen: If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

Calvin Correli: Uh, I would be able to just by, by intending, just by looking at people or intending it, or even just thinking about people, have all of the illusion, all the lies of all our limiting beliefs and all these illusions that we live in, fall away so that people could just, Be present, feel themselves, feel the love and just

Brent Dowlen: fricking be.

That's cool. Very noble power. So a lot of people are into flight these days.

I can see that, but I like, this is actually noble, you know, of the people. [00:07:00] Most people are self centered on that one. It's nice. At least you didn't go with invisibility. That always creeps me out. And people were like, uh, invisibility.

Calvin Correli: Yeah, no.

Brent Dowlen: But that's never, there's never a good cause behind that in a movie, so.

Calvin Correli: Yeah, there's actually, so I remember reading some years ago this, this thought experiment of what if everybody could read everybody else's thoughts? And most people start to freak out when you talk about that. But what you realize is that everybody has the same fucking thoughts. It's just that we think that we're like, I'm the only one that thinks like that judge other people or that judge myself or like whatever it is, right?

But what imagine that everybody could literally read everybody else's thoughts and you just see, Oh, it's all the same fucking shit.

Brent Dowlen: Like make a movie about that. I maybe I don't know. I think I think they actually made a movie about that. Finally. Because, because I've always heard the idea. It's like, wouldn't that be cool?

It's like, I don't know about that, but, uh, I think they finally made [00:08:00] a movie about that where like, it just kind of appears above your head or something. Okay. That would kind of freak me out. I gotta admit. I'm

Calvin Correli: yeah. Would it freak you out to, to be able to read other people's thoughts or other people being able to read your thoughts?

Brent Dowlen: Uh, other people reading my thoughts, uh, Been been wound to some really dark places early in my life. So,

Calvin Correli: uh,

Brent Dowlen: military and, uh, my, my head wasn't always screwed on. Right. You know,

Calvin Correli: it was screwed on, right. Honestly,

Brent Dowlen: life. And so, uh, for a lot of people, time, people were just, you know, target levels to me. Uh, so yeah, those kinds of things tend to make people a little uncomfortable around you when they realize that you're like, Just gauging like if I have to kill you, you know,

Calvin Correli: yeah,

Brent Dowlen: so yeah, it was early [00:09:00] early things

Calvin Correli: Yeah, no, totally One of my friends is a former Navy SEAL and and he told me like the same thing and it was like obviously as a Navy SEAL it's something that you like like you learn right you train every Every room you walk into you just like, okay, if I had to take everybody out, like who do I go first?

And then like that that kind of thing which is wild but even as a child he was like I figured what it was He was like shooting target shooting at mice or stuff like that and like always trying to take things out So There's a reason he ended up being a SEAL. And yeah, that might freak some people out.

But then I'm wondering, do we all do that? And some at some level, right? Maybe it's not like shooting people, but it's like, we're the most people go into a room measuring like, Oh, I'm, I'm better than this person. I'm worse than that person. Then, you know, there's a

Brent Dowlen: set of psychological Evaluations you take to get into those programs.

They're, they're looking for a certain moral flexibility.

Calvin Correli: [00:10:00] Uh,

Brent Dowlen: I would imagine in the real world, you fail the

Calvin Correli: flexibility,

Brent Dowlen: right? In the real world, you failed a couple of psychological evaluations in the military past a couple of psychedelics to get in those, I get it. Yeah.

Perspective.

Calvin Correli: Totally. Yeah. I'm, I'm thinking it's the same. They do to evaluate who gets into Congress, right? Who gets to run for, no, I'm serious. Like there has to be that moral flexibility, quote unquote, right. Which means that, that, that they can control you. That's how that game is played. Otherwise you don't get to be the candidate for the party.

Brent Dowlen: Let me ask you purchase best purchase of a hundred dollars less has had the biggest impact on your life in last year.

In

Calvin Correli: the last year, um,

probably the sleep [00:11:00] mask that I had, that I have, it's, it's just remarkable, like, always, you know, wear that when I sleep, no light can get to focus and sleep. Simple thing.

Brent Dowlen: I had a fairly inexpensive one, you know, just, Fairly pick it up at like a drugstore kind of thing. Oh my goodness. I slept so much better with that on.

It took a little while to get used to it. Then I was like, how did I sleep all these years without a sleep mask? Like just something to seal all the light out. Yeah. I'm trying to keep my room dark, but man, yeah, I could totally get that.

Calvin Correli: It's so much easier. Yeah. And I use the breathe right nasal strips as well.

Um, They're super helpful too, optimizing sleep.

Brent Dowlen: What sport would be the funniest to add mandatory shot counts to before the players play? Like they had to take three shots or four shots of booze before they played curling.[00:12:00]

Calvin Correli: Maybe people, people falling around on the ice or something. I don't know. that I was on, I was on Necker Island some years ago, five years ago. I was on Necker Island and, and I just quit drinking at the time, like a few months before that. And there was a, um, it's apparently it's a tradition that the guests and the staff on the island, there's like, at that point, we were I think we're like 30 something 35 guests and 125 staff.

But then, you know, on one of the last days, there's this volley beach volley game between staff and guests. And, um, and the rule was that every two points you lost, you had to take it take the whole team had to take shots. And And, um, and I wasn't playing, I was watching and at one point, one of the staff members is running past me with this tray of empty shot glasses to go fill it up.

And he looks at me and he's like, he shakes his head and he's like, you're so lucky you don't drink. [00:13:00] And I was like, Wait, what are you talking about? It has nothing to do with luck. It's just a choice. Like, but it's funny how, how our mind works. Like, Oh yeah, I wish like, yeah, no, you can just like choose not to.

Brent Dowlen: Oh yeah. Yeah. My best friend doesn't drink. It's I think he's had one beer in his entire life.

Calvin Correli: Yeah. Well, I, I've had a lot more than that. I used to drink a lot and I got into mixology some, like, I don't know, eight years ago or something like cocktail bar, bartender and cocktails had all these books at 120 bottles of liquor.

Yeah. Actually got to, uh, uh, work for free at a really nice bar here in New York, in New York city, just to learn it. So I was like, like, let me be part of the shift so I can learn how you, you pros do it. Cause I want to learn from the pros, right? I didn't want to take a bartending class. I wanted to like really learn from the people who do this at the highest level.

And I learned a ton from it and I drank a ton. And then eventually I was like, really what happened actually was that I started. Working out because I [00:14:00] had a mentor. This might be interesting for, for you and for the audience. I had a mentor who was like, Calvin, you are, you're, you're masculine is really like a wounded boy stuck at a, at a young age.

Like you're, it's so underdeveloped. You're, you're feminine is really strongly developed. Nothing wrong with that. But like, we got to get the masculine up as well. And so part of that journey is it was a journey of really healing that boy. To become a healthy mature adult man. Um, while my wife was the opposite, of course, because opposites attract, right?

Polarities. So she was very strong in her masculine and her feminine was wounded. So it's been a journey of, of like growing that part of us and kind of flipping the polarity in, in, in our marriage, which has been remarkable. But part of that was starting to work out. And I started to do this, this, uh, body meal meal replacement powder that my mentors create had created.

And then I think about a year into that, I just completely lost the desire for, for alcohol. It was like, [00:15:00] before that it was like, I felt like crap all the time, but the alcohol made me feel, you know, decent. And then as I started to actually feel good inside, I noticed that I felt less good when I had alcohol in my blood.

So I'm like, let's not do that.

Brent Dowlen: It's amazing when you start to get some clarity, detox things from your system, put things in your system that you need.

Calvin Correli: Yeah,

Brent Dowlen: yeah. Now, now here's the most important question, Batman or Superman?

Calvin Correli: Haha, I think I'm a Batman. Batman seems more, more interesting to me, yeah.

Brent Dowlen: Alright.

Now, what is something everybody needs to know about you before we get into today's subject?

Calvin Correli: Well, need is a strong word. Um,

my mission in life is to serve people in, like, in help in [00:16:00] their awakening, really awakening people to their true nature. That's what gets me up in the morning. That's what energizes me. That's what everything that I do comes down to. It's actually been quite a journey for me to realize that business can, I can choose to have my business be about intimacy and, you know, awakening people and all the mechanics of a business.

It's just. Like, even as a software business, right, all the mechanics are just the things, the excuses that we, that we have for doing what we do, but what we really do, that's, that's that, is the awakening piece.

Brent Dowlen: And guys, we didn't get to know Calvin just a little bit. See what makes him tick. See what he's about.

See who he is. In this part of the show, we're going to dive into the missing ingredient. Now, Calvin, you're a successful entrepreneur. Uh, you've described yourself as a serial entrepreneur at one point, just for context. So, you know, our audience has a clue getting into the rest of the show. Tell us what you do now.[00:17:00]

Calvin Correli: Two things is what I do now. One is my software company, Simplero, which, uh, what we do at Simplero is we, we make. the lives of especially coaches, um, coaches, consultants, course creators, but mainly most of our people call themselves coaches. We make their lives simpler because the problem for coaches is that they need like eight, nine different platforms, you know, website, email, marketing, automation, shopping cart, membership site, video hosting, affiliate, like, huh.

Funnels, surveys, like all the things and we just bring all of that together in one platform, which makes it so much simpler for them to focus on what matters, which is usually, you know, the relationship with their audience, the impact that they can have, as well as a relationship with themselves and their families and things like that.

And I created Simplr because I had, um, a realization that. What I'm here to do is to work on [00:18:00] integrating spirituality and entrepreneurship so that your business is an expression of your soul's purpose on this planet. And, um, and I was like, I need to start teaching that. And so I, I started coaching business and then I realized that the software was a mess and confusing and complicated.

And I wanted to simplify that. And so that leads me to the other part of my business, which is the coaching. side of things where I work with entrepreneurs, the realization that I had early on is that every business problem is a personal problem that shows up in business. And they're all gateways to your freedom and to you becoming who you're here to become so that you can serve the people you're here to serve.

And so that's the work that we do on the coaching side. And then I have a few other things. I've got a, um, I'm deeply passionate about health as well, because really like as an entrepreneur and as a human being, in order to serve other people, if your health is [00:19:00] crap, like that's no good, right? If your relationships are crap, that's going to get in the way of you serving people.

If you don't know your purpose, you're not on purpose, that's going to make it really hard. So really, it's the concept I call integrated entrepreneurship, right? It's a whole looking at the whole life. Most, most coaching, most business coaching, but at most coaching in general is about the results, right?

Business coaching, like how much money are you making? Let's make more money. I'm like, that's great. But if we get you to come really home to you, the money will kind of take care of itself. And it's less important. It's it is important. It needs to be there, but it's, it never becomes the driving force. The problem is that there's There's usually not enough energy there.

Like the energy comes from whatever you see as your mission, as your purpose. Um, and yeah, so that's the kind of work that I do with people.

Brent Dowlen: Uh, so what we're saying is guys, eventually you'll probably see the fallible man website. [00:20:00] Migrate over to a new platform. I was, I was chomping at the bit dude, as I was researching, I was looking at your platform and it was like, Oh my goodness, somebody figured out Bane in my existence.

Calvin Correli: Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: My hosting platform is not, I, at one point I had a community site on one place. I had my website. I was like, ah, junk everywhere. It was horrible.

Calvin Correli: Yeah, yeah, it's confusing for you. It's confusing for your team. It's confusing for your customers. Like it's, it's just like complicated

Brent Dowlen: all the way. So I love what you're doing there.

Like I said, at some point you'll probably see that migrate over you guys platform. Now I love the mission you're on these days. I was loving reading about it. Uh, was Collaborade your first company? It was my first company as an adult.

Calvin Correli: I really started, um, yeah, so my, so I'm born into an entrepreneurial [00:21:00] family.

My, my dad had a company doing shop fitting for gas stations all over the world. My mom started the software company in 1980. Like, think about how pioneering she was, right? Yeah. Right out of studying chemical engineering, she, uh, met this guy in Denmark who was a pioneer in, in, um, in information technology and started working with him.

Both my parents did, which is why, how they met each other. And, um, yeah, and then in 1980, she started her own, her own, um, Software company grew that to owning a third market share and sort of the office, uh, space, like the, the, what Microsoft office or Google, whatever Google things, Google workspace, I think they call it now is, but back then for DOS, so pre windows.

And yeah, I mean, she started the, even before the IBM PC was created. So these were like CPM computers and all these things, other things like, so. [00:22:00] She was way early and quite an inspiration. And today she's actually, she's a painter that uses painting for spiritual development. And she's using my software to run her business and just cause just does courses and workshops and events on this.

And, and it's doing amazing work with that. I was, you know, just reading her book on the way home from, um, from Copenhagen this weekend. And it's, it's remarkable. I'm so proud of my mom.

Brent Dowlen: It's always interesting to me because every time I, right. I talked to a lot of entrepreneurs and then I actually talked to some like just serial entrepreneurs like yourself and a lot of them, right, they're, they're the kids were doing lemonade stands and like, you know, they're building businesses and doing businesses from the time they're young, usually.

Right. And it might've started with something as simple as a lemonade stand, but, you know, by the time they're junior high, high school, you're seeing stuff running and, you know, they're swapping, uh, What was it? Gary Vee was doing trading cards, baseball training, trading cards. I am [00:23:00] right. And so, I mean, you, you see that spirit start to develop in people.

Calvin Correli: Yeah, I was doing software when I was selling software. When I was 12, I started doing software when I was five or six, I started coding. And then as a 12, I was writing software. These were through my parents connections, right? So they had some friends and they needed some software. And then I wrote it, write it for them.

My mom's company needed some software. Early on, they were doing, they were doing these trade shows. And so they'd go to these trade shows and then they'd have their software there. But like just having the software available for B2B, this wasn't super interesting. So what we did were these presentations that would move and show different like screenshots.

This is all MS DOS, right? So no graphical, but like it was show kind of screenshots and some screens that would, you know, have some information. It was like tiny screens, nothing graphic. And there's a software from a company from IBM that was called. IBM, uh, Storymaker or something like that, that allowed you to do these kinds of presentations.

It was pretty, so funny, [00:24:00] like, 80s, right? Like mid 80s. And I was like, that's, it's not very good. And so I wrote something that was better. And, uh, and we use that for, for, uh, for when they did the trade shows and then they had a couple of dealerships that also needed that. So I sold a couple of copies of that.

So I did my first software product sale, um, at age, I don't know, 12, 13, 14, something like that. Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: And this is pre internet too. Well, I'm listening to the timeline because you're talking about, it's like that's I I'm, I'm old enough to, you know, no, it's like, I remember when the first computers actually started showing up in schools and, you know, uh, the early green screen DOS machines, uh, that were just giant bulky things.

And, uh, I actually, my junior high was the first school, at least in the United States to [00:25:00] integrate IBM compatibles and max into one system.

Calvin Correli: Okay.

Brent Dowlen: Or IBM compatibles and an Apple all in every classroom. And then we had one central system. They were all linked together. And we were the first school in the United States to do it.

They would like pause class to come. We'd go pose at computers. And like magazines would come take pictures. Then we go back to using the overhead because we didn't actually use the computers. So I'm old enough to have made that journey. And you're talking about programming things. that were just, wow. So, so far ahead.

Calvin Correli: My mom's, uh, business partner, uh, Thomas, he was a, he was a, my mom wrote software as well, but we met, um, we had, when I was a kid, we all met cause both my parents were working. They had, um, very separate companies. And then we had these 16, 17 year old girls who would live with us for a year at a time. And they would, [00:26:00] they would take care of me and my brother.

And so one of them, Uh, fell in love with his, with this guy, Thomas. So they're like, he was her boyfriend and he was a software programming genius and ended up being my mom's software partner, his brother, Anders ended up creating, um, like working for Microsoft, creating. net and C sharp and their whole, like, like new, uh, programming environment.

Some, I don't know, like 15, 20 years ago or something like that. Like a big deal. But Thomas was. He was studying at a high school that was a private school, and it was, I think, probably the first in the country to have a computer. So it was a PC, and it was the one computer that they used both for admin and for teaching.

And then Thomas and some of his friends found out that they could now go into the computer and alter their grades. And then the, the, the, the school found out. And so they had like a separate [00:27:00] with that, that information, or maybe at some point they had a, had a hard drive or something, but they could, they could take it out when the computer was used for, for teaching so that the students couldn't get to it.

But then these kids figured out how to write a virus that would stay in memory and then like do an index of the hard drive when it came in so they could find their, their, their grades now. And then like, They could go back and then they could write the code that would actually go alter them and stuff like, so, yeah, it was a whole,

Brent Dowlen: that, that was, uh, the, the, my, my friend, his parents were both doctors.

Uh, they had more money than the average family at the time. And he had a PC at home. Right. He's the only kid anybody knew who had a computer, but like he seriously just dove into it. Right. And yeah, he, he got us all into some trouble at the school because he'd start writing things. We, we managed to put, uh, what is it?

Doom? No, Wolfenstein 3d. He managed to [00:28:00] install Wolfenstein 3d onto the entire network of the school. So you can play it from any computer. So we'd be in there and like recesses playing Wolfenstein on the computers has all they ever got used for. Yeah. So good. School's like, uh, no. Yeah. Yeah.

Calvin Correli: My favorite early computer was the Osborne one.

So this is also pre, pre PC. Um, I don't know what year it was, but it was, it was basically a suitcase. So it was a, it was a portable computer, it was a luggable computer, it was a suitcase, um, that you then flipped down the top and then there are two floppy drives and there's like this size green monitor in the center and the keyboard down here.

It's pretty, pretty remarkable. Yeah.

Brent Dowlen: I loved it. 1981. Yeah. I looked it up. Yeah. I don't even know that computer. Okay.

Calvin Correli: Yeah. 43 years ago. There we go. Yeah. So we probably had it maybe like [00:29:00] 1982 over in Copenhagen, something like that. So I was,

Brent Dowlen: I've been eight. Yeah. Now, sorry. I took us down way down that rabbit trail.

My bad. I was enjoying. It's like, ah, another, another, I'm 44. 44. Yeah.

Calvin Correli: So you're a youngster.

Brent Dowlen: Yeah. I don't get called that a lot these days. So thank you. I like that. Yeah. So you, I was reading through your story and you were celebrating with your advisory board after having a good season. I'm guessing that was why you were celebrating and you had this moment with this interaction with one of your guys where you just had this breakthrough and realized business was not enough, even though you were doing a successful business.

Calvin Correli: Can

Brent Dowlen: you

Calvin Correli: tell us about that? Yeah, it was really, it was, um, It's a remarkable moment because I moved to New York with my girlfriend and then we moved back and had, I'd [00:30:00] started my first kind of real company as an adult, Collaborade. And, um, and we're a year into it had gone phenomenally well. I've won the start of the year award.

I proposed to my girlfriend and she'd said yes to get married and Was really flying high. And so I gathered these people, the smartest people I knew for an advisory board meeting to tell me like, okay, great, we're going great. And I now tell me what to do, right. To, to grow the company, to make something really big.

And we were sitting there brainstorming. And, and after he, Thomas here was still a good friend of mine. He looked me dead in the eyes and he said, look, we've been here for three hours and I still don't know what you want. And he was so confusing for me. Because I was like, what do you mean? I want to grow a big company.

Tell me how. And there's another part of me that understood what he meant. Like, what do you want, want? And I was like, well, I didn't know [00:31:00] that you were allowed to want anything in business. I thought business was supposed to be just like, like we put on our business suit and we do the thing or something.

Um, and then I realized I have no freaking clue what I want. I just don't know. Like my only mission in life was like, I need to be. Financially successful. I need to build a big company and make a lot of money so that I'm not, uh, you know, wrong basically. Like I, I felt like, and this kinda dawned later, but I, I, I was running on this energy of I am, I am broken, I'm faulty, I'm wrong, and unless I create a billion dollar company, buy.

The time I turn 30, I should not exist. I should just go kill myself and say I failed this time around. And by the way, I have to do it with no help. I can't talk to a coach or a therapist or any like [00:32:00] anyone who can like, because that just proves that my wiring was wrong. Right? So, so then I failed anyway.

Um, but that was a straight jacket that I lived in. I mean, we talked. A little bit before right about how we all live in these prisons of our minds that tell us Yeah, like you're not good enough. You're not enough. You've done something wrong or you are wrong or or you're not safe or whatever It is and then that becomes the prison that we live in and that was my prison It was a very tiny confined space and it was not a fun place to live

Brent Dowlen: Did you was there anything before that moment?

where you felt like you were missing something that that wasn't enough or was this like just the first time that even crossed your mind?

Calvin Correli: No, that was the, that was the world that I lived in. It's just, I never, I never was aware of it. Right. I never questioned it. So that's why I think that's why his words were so jarring to me.

Because it was like, wait, like, is that even relevant? Isn't that even a thing that to [00:33:00] want something in business? Like, it's just, it's, to me, it's just, it's the race to build a big business. Like, that's the only fucking thing or you're dead. Right? Like, it's like, like, blind. It's like, if you're, if you're, you're chasing a, a, a, like a lion or a coyote or something, and you're like, So focused on that and then someone stops and says like, Hey, while you're running here, like, what do you actually want?

I'm like, the fuck are you talking about? I'm like chasing this thing, right? So, so, um, yeah, it was really a wake up call for me. And it started a three, five year journey. I mean, a lifelong journey, honestly, like now 20 years ago. Uh, journey of, of like finding freedom. Um, and, and really the first thing that hit me was I have no fucking clue what I want.

And it kind of struck me, I, I, I'm not sure when that realization landed that I don't know what I want because I can't, can't feel anything. Um, but it prompted me to [00:34:00] start seeing a therapist, which was scary as fuck. Because I was like, what if, what if somebody sees me go there and they realize that I'm broken?

They realize that I'm like, I'm fucked up, right? Um, I mean, my mom had a good friend who was a therapist and, uh, pet. He's, he's passed now. He was, I really, really liked him. I loved his energy. I didn't speak much with him, but I met him on several occasions and he just had this like beautiful, calm energy.

And he was, I love this story too, because he was actually a surgeon, um, that had his, his specialty was mastectomies. And so removing breasts from women, typically, this is before the whole trans craziness, but typically with, with, um, the, you know, women with breast cancer. And what he found was that, I don't know if it's every single woman or the vast [00:35:00] majority of them, they're, they had the same psychological patterns.

And so he was like, what if we could help people revert those patterns and avoid having the breast cancer in the first place instead of removing the breast after the cancer happens. And so that's what he dedicated his life to. So that's when he stopped being a surgeon and started studying psychotherapy.

And, and did that for the rest of his life. And so I reached out to him. I was like, mom, can I have pal's phone number? And I called him and I was like, shaking and so scared. And it's like, I think I want to talk to some kind of psych, psychotherapist. Like, do you have someone you can recommend? He recommended someone.

And I spoke with him and it was it like, It was, you know, it opened sort of, it was the point where I was like, okay, I failed anyway. Like I didn't get to be a billionaire by 30 with no help. So might as well just like fucking get some help.

Brent Dowlen: Now, Calvin, I usually actually don't tell stories on this show. In fact, [00:36:00] uh, you, you, you and I connected on the platform.

I connect with most of my guests on, and I have it right there about my show. I don't tell inspirational stories because I don't, it's not my thing. But I was reading your story and I thought, Oh my God, this is the story of every man. I know that this is, this is the fallible man story. This is the story of most of our listeners.

We go into life with this expectation and we start getting close to it or we get there or we're right at that cusp and we start looking around and going, uh, I don't know that this is. Right. But it's never even occurred to us to do something other than that path we started on, like, like you said, you're, you're allowed to want something in business.

No, no, you just, you run after the goal. This is what you do. I think so many men listening can connect with this story because we all get on this set path. Whether it's from our childhood, our parents [00:37:00] pushes that way, or someone just, you know, the right person at the right time says, Hey, you'd be good at this.

And you're like, well, hell, I don't know what I'm going to do. So yeah, I'll go do that. Right. We get on this path and we don't even question it after that, because we, we don't know what else to do. We don't know anything else. So you went on this 14 year journey of personal development and getting some help and looking for something bigger.

And you worked with this coach and you already already talked about this. Um, who hit you with Calvin, you're 80 percent in your feminine and 20 percent in your masculine development, we've got to flip that around. So you're living in your primarily in your masculine side. How did, how did that even hit you?

Cause I don't know a lot of guys that would. I mean, I don't know a lot of guys that would sit well with this kind of, I'm hoping you have a better explanation of what he was talking about, because it really sounded like he was basically calling you a not nice name.[00:38:00]

Well, he's someone that You tell the tell us about that moment, how you respond? Yeah,

Calvin Correli: well, I mean, so he's, I mean, he's, he's someone that I'd known for a couple of years back then. And, and, um, um, so there are some trusts built up already. Now he's, he's, uh, he's my main body therapist. He's actually like, he's quite a remarkable guy.

His grandfather, He was, his grandfather made furniture and then he realized that he could help people with his hands. And so he developed this whole body therapy system that then his son spent his entire life from he was five till he died, developing and working and teaching. And then his son, which is this guy, um, has been doing since he was, you know, a little kid.

And. So he's quite a remarkable man. He was also the European karate champion when he was 18. Um, so quite special. So there's some trust buildup, but no, it's, it was when he said that, I'm like, you're full of shit. [00:39:00] Like, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Cause I'm pretty masculine. And then, and then like, as you know, as he explained a little bit, like, and, and kind of showed me to myself, I'm like, Oh shit, you're right.

And what really hit me after is that Typical masculine. A typical men, right, most men aren't very masculine. So my image of what a man looked like was, was distorted by how most men are today. Because, yeah, most men are not very masculine. Most men are actually very feminine. Most women are kind of masculine.

And it's not right or wrong or good or bad. It's just. It's just typically not healthy, um, from a physiological perspective, but also to me, it's about freedom, right? And so the reason why I was this very soft, feminine, weak man was that I was crushed [00:40:00] as a young boy. And felt so wrong and wounded and hurt.

And I wasn't free to be in my masculine. It feels better to me to be in my masculine. I also love being in my feminine. It's awesome. I love that I have both sides. And one of the things that my mentor there taught me is that as you build your masculine, your feminine only gets stronger, right? Your feminine is always going to be super strong and that's awesome.

There's nothing wrong with that. It's just, we need to build up that masculine side. That gives it the structure and the solidity to actually thrive and do something. So it's not like right or wrong, but I saw he helped me see, Oh shit. I think the key thing was helping me see it not as me being wrong, which was really hard.

Cause that was my filter. I'm wrong. I did something wrong, but as an opportunity.

Brent Dowlen: Now guys, we've been, we've been teaming this up with the missing [00:41:00] ingredient. That was what sparked this entire show was Calvin reached out to me and we were talking about it and he said, you know, that coming into my masculinity changed everything drastically for me. So I wanted to build that's, that's why we're telling the story because I want a foundation because a lot of us can identify with this story in the next part of the show, we're going to actually start talking about changes.

Calvin started making this life, what he started working on that changed everything for him. Because there is a lot of confusion. I can't tell you how many shows I've been on where I have been asked like, well, what is masculinity? And it's like, it's not what you think in this part of the show, we're going to actually kind of give ourselves our own health check because Calvin had this wake up moment and he started working on some things and when he started coming into actual masculinity, things started aligning his life and the rest of his stories is great too, right?

And, but it all starts to shift after he starts to make this conscious [00:42:00] conscious effort. So this is going to give us a chance to check ourselves and, uh, give us kind of some answers as to what that actually looks like now, Calvin, we've set it up, you've had this come to Jesus moment with you, with your friend and counselor, and he said, Hey, we're going to, you need to make some changes here now, that's a really broad statement.

So I want to dive into what things you identify that you needed to work on. Uh, we talked off camera, a lot of us get lost in the physicality of what masculinity is, but really it's not a physical element is, is there's more to it. So can you start walking us through what are a couple of these things you started working on?

Calvin Correli: Yes. Uh, so the first is, is the physical, uh, but the physical in term, in terms of, uh, building strength, building muscle, building my body. And it's, it's one of the things that for a man, for anybody, but really for a man. You have [00:43:00] to build muscle. There's just no way around it. You cannot be a healthy masculine man without building your muscle, building, building your body.

And it was really, that was a really important piece of it to me because before that, I would, I hated working out. It felt like punishment. Um, it like sometimes I'd hire a trainer and then I would, you know, work out three hours a week in the gym with a trainer. And then I felt like, Oh, that I've done amazing.

I've done so good doing three hours of workout. And but I would project all of my authority issues, my daddy issues onto the trainer and be like, you're making me do this and blah, blah. And this is hard. And like, I got to stay in that in that wounded place. So, you know, My mentor challenged me. He was like, okay, make a workout plan.

And I did, I was like, okay, so I'm going to do yoga here and yoga there. And then like, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, so six hours a week of, of workout. And he's like, yeah, that's pretty good. But like, maybe yoga is a little [00:44:00] too soft and, and maybe you need something a little bit more powerful. And like, I don't know.

If you want to build a body that you say you do, you're going to need more than, than six hours. Wait, you kidding me? Six hours is a lot. And he's like, yeah, but I'm like, okay, how much? And he said, um, eight hours. And so I took that to heart. And I was like, okay, um, I'm going to work out eight hours a week.

And I made a spreadsheet where I tracked it by the minute I would, I made some rules for myself. I made a rule that says, if I get behind one week, I have to catch up the next week. So like no excuses for travel or being sick or anything else. It has to be eight hours every week. tracked by the minute in a spreadsheet, carrying a balance.

Um, it could be anything, but it had, I had to make it fun and I had to take my little boy by the hand as I did that. No trainer. I lead this. It's not something that anyone is doing to me. It's something that I and my little boy are [00:45:00] doing for us. We do it together. We're going to make it fun. And it was a massive game changer for me to do it that way because now it became my thing.

And from having like worked out reluctantly for years within two months, I was hooked. I was addicted. And, um, it so happens that this guy has created a workout called PFI, which I adopted. I had a video that was an hour and 15 minutes. I could put that on. And if I did that seven days a week, it would add up to a little bit over eight hours.

So that worked out pretty well. Um, and that leads me to the second piece, which is that inner boy. So the reason that my masculine was was not very well developed was that as a boy, I had decided like that part of me got hurt. And, uh, a big part of it was that I felt my, my dad was very hard, very tough on me, and I didn't feel loved or seen by my dad.

I just felt [00:46:00] criticized and wronged. And so for me at the point, at that point, discipline meant punishment, right? Discipline meant, meant hurt and wounding. And, um, so it was a lot of, of whenever I got in contact with that hurt feeling when, with that boy, I would be with him. I have an exercise called time travel, which is whenever I get triggered by something, um, I'll take a moment whenever I can to go back and ask myself, what's the, what's the earliest memory I have of where I felt the same feeling.

And then in my mind, go back to that scene with me being who I am today and me being who it was back then together. And then today me gives whatever that then me needed, like holding love, comfort, safeties, you know, uh, assurance, whatever he needs. [00:47:00] And, um, and just keep doing that over and over and over again so that basically that wounded boy heals and as he does, he can grow up to be, you know, a little bit older as less than a teenager and then, and then grow up to be a man.

And one other critical aspect is the, is the structure and the focus. So like the, the feminine, one way to think about it is the feminine goes in circles and goes on adventure and, and it just kind of more is and isn't going anywhere in particular. Whereas the, the masculine has a specific outcome that they want.

They, they want to go here. In order to get there, we need to go bam, bam, bam. There's a strategy to get, to get there. And so implementing that in my own life of knowing where I'm going and You know, having a clear outcome for things and a clear strategy to get there, as well as in the company. The way I showed up as a leader at the company at the time was that, like, everybody's just like, yeah, just do whatever you kind of feel like.

And there's no structure and there's no [00:48:00] accountability. There's no nothing. And I thought it was great about greatest boss in the world. Cause I'm like, well, we're kind of going in this rough direction, but you'll figure it out. And what happened was that people were fucking terrified because they were like, what's expected?

I don't know what's gonna happen like so so learning to show up as a leader where with like structure I hate it someone someone on my team. This is like 2018 Someone on my team started talking about like we should have some sops. I'm like what the is an sop is like Oh, it's a standard operating procedure.

It's like a Process is a thing that says how we do stuff. I'm like, why would you have that? Like, that's dumb. Just like, do your bad, like, you know, you figure it out, like kind of thing. And like, now I love, I love, like, I really resist it because it was like, I'm that creative person and don't box me in and blah, blah, blah.

But of course, like my team members are not the same. Right. So, so, um, I've learned to really love systems and processes and SOPs and stuff now, but I really didn't. [00:49:00] And, um, yeah, it's, it's that. That combination, um, has really, has really made a huge difference.

Brent Dowlen: It's funny. It's the guy who used to write the SOPs for several of my companies that I've worked for.

I just cringed the minute you were like, what's an SOP? Why do we need that? Cringe. I have process docs for everything I do. And it's just me, but I'm, I'm a little bit obsessive about that. Cause I used to write them all the time for it companies. Yeah.

Calvin Correli: Well, and I'm still like, I don't like. Well, I will have checklists for stuff.

I'm, I'm definitely loving those, but I generally don't use SOPs for myself, but I really value them for my team.

Brent Dowlen: I'm I'm big into it because my thought, I was raised in enough leadership positions that. My thought process is always there's going to be a day when [00:50:00] someone either has to fill in for me or I'm not doing this anymore

Calvin Correli: and someone

Brent Dowlen: else has to take over.

Yeah, I'm not prepping it for that next person. But I'm not really leading. Yeah.

Calvin Correli: My philosophy now is anything that could be an SOP, I shouldn't be doing. And so, I should only be doing the things that are, that I'm the best person in the world to do, or these are things like being with my loved ones and things that like, I really want to do.

So, everything else someone else should do.

Brent Dowlen: I think CEOs should all adopt that mentality right there. If you can write a process doc for it and pay somebody else to do it, that's the best outcome. I'm your time is expensive.

Calvin Correli: It's insane. And it's so funny because I keep growing and evolving with this. And, and, um, like I have a chief of staff now, her name is Beth.

She's awesome. And like just in the past. three, four months, [00:51:00] there's been two major things that I used to think I needed to own that now she owns and she loves it. And I hated it. The first one was the, the whole annual quarterly planning cycle, like OKRs or rocks or whatever you call them of like, you know, what do we do at the company level?

What are our goals at a department level? And like, Figuring all that out for the quarter, mapping it out and courting with all the bits. I hate it was the boring as shit in the world and she loves it. All right. So let her do it obviously in consultation with me to set the direction, all that stuff, but she handles the whole thing.

And she's just like, she loves it. She thrives on it and now managing budgets and cashflow forecasts and finances and all that stuff. I thought that was my job as the CEO. I had to now, like. That's your job and she's loving it. It's so great. Like, isn't that amazing that you can just like, actually, I hate this, but then there's another person that loves it.

Brent Dowlen: Getting getting an analytical person who [00:52:00] actually just loves analytical, like that's the way they work. For those kind of positions is amazing as a creative things that we doing.

Calvin Correli: Yeah. Well, in part of my story, my journey is that is, I thought I was that because that's how I grew up. I thought I had to be there.

This is way back in 1990. No, it's I think 2000, maybe 2001. I had a boss. I was working for a company in Boston. I was, I started working remotely in 1999, guys, so . So I was in New York City working for a company in Boston. And um, my boss there, he invited us to like a coaching retreat with his personal coach and she did the DISC.

I'm sure you've seen this, right? And what I just remember from that was that it, it, it had like, here's your natural style and here's your adapted style. And it, what it told me was that my natural style was [00:53:00] intuitive and spontaneous and my adapted style was very, very analytical, right? So that was my.

That's why I got to be a good programmer. I, I thought that that's what I had to be. Cause then when I was really smart and analytical, my dad would always praise me and I'm like, okay, that's who I have to be. And so, and, and I always admired people like my boss at the time, for example, who was very intuitive, spontaneous, alive kind of man.

I was like, like living inside that little like analytical straitjacket thinking that's who I had to be. So it was really, Yeah, it was so insightful for me to be like, Oh shit, the person that I admire that I wish I was like, is actually the person I am like, and this other person is just a learned behavior.

Brent Dowlen: I want to go back for a second. You started with the physical being something you had to adapt and grow into. Now guys, we're not saying you have to become a pro bodybuilder, powerlifter or something like [00:54:00] that. You have to start taking care of your physical health. Men's bodies are made to do physical work.

And as we move farther and farther away from that being the standard with a lot of jobs in society, men need to work out more than ever because we do. It's, it's part of our brain chemistry. We need that physical work to feel fulfilled, to really thrive. Part of the way we're designed at a, what's the right word?

Physiological level, like there are chemicals and stuff in our brain and hormones that are releasing that. And so, you know, when we talk about getting physical, right, you did a workout and you found the workout that was great for you and work for you. I love get around with you on that. I had involved him because then that.

That part into the next, one of the next things about being a man is that mentorship [00:55:00] aspect. That's very, very guys, if you're not mentoring a younger person, you're missing part of your calling as a man. I love you were telling the story about your coach that you worked with and it was passed down from father to son, the son.

That's the way we used to learn. That was, that's the way everything used to be done. Yeah. You grew up at your father's side, learning the trade. Exactly.

Calvin Correli: Yeah. And we've totally lost that. Right. Like we don't see, I actually, I was, I was actually lucky that, that I got to. Go to my dad's office quite a lot and just hang around and play with like play office But also play with the computers and like I just sit and hang out at this office It was pretty remarkable is like like I haven't thought of that before but that was actually I got to see my dad At work and what he did I wasn't part of every meeting and everything but I got to like be around him which is pretty cool and my mom too Um, on the on the [00:56:00] physicality, I was just thinking one of my mentors is a guy named Peter Krohn.

And he has a quote that says, if you don't exercise regularly, don't expect your life to function. It's it's like the exercise does so much for us. It's not about looking good, or like building muscle is important for a lot of reasons, but it's not about that as much as it's Training you which is what I eventually learned is that working out is a gift to me.

It's, it's self love. It's not punishment. It's actually me loving myself and taking time for myself for my physicality. And when I exercise, like you said, the, the, the new chemicals and all that stuff, like I feel better and It's also a way to expel toxins from your system, right? Like you, like the, the sweat and the whatever the hell, like the lymphatic system gets to move and all that stuff so that we can expel all the toxins.

It's, it's really crucial for, for life.

Brent Dowlen: Oh yeah. And it's, [00:57:00] it's a good emotional outlet for men. Oh yeah. When a lot of time when people say that men don't deal with their emotions and their feelings well,

Calvin Correli: It's a

Brent Dowlen: really healthy expression to deal with some of those motions. Yeah. There, there's just no into, and I used to do construction when I was younger, I spent years in the construction industry and I would physically work all day.

And then I'd go hit the gym for two hours.

Calvin Correli: Hmm.

Brent Dowlen: Um, I was a gym rat. I'm 44. I've refined the way I work out. I used to be a personal trainer. I I've refined the way I do things, but. When I stopped working out for a while, the difference in my emotional outlook, uh, my mental health, my physical health, everything just shifts radically when I'm out of the gym for any length of time.

So that, that physical aspect is so important for who you are meant to be as a man, just because that's [00:58:00] part of the way we're hardwired. And then you talked about dealing with past hurts. Now, this is a really hard subject for a lot of guys to jump into. Because a we have to admit there are past hurts we haven't dealt with which is an area We're not really comfortable with you have an interesting approach that Is that something you learned working with a therapist or how would you?

Recommend men start trying to process that that's something you jump right into like yeah

Calvin Correli: For me, it's, I started with a therapist and, and, but I didn't do a lot of that. I think I did maybe like five or six sessions total. And then, and then I found other therapies, if you will. I've, uh, one of the ones, the spiritual teacher that I work with, um, for a couple of years, he's now a friend and a client.

Um, but he is, he really [00:59:00] helped me just, He was the one that taught me the time travel and he helped me like start to question my mind and my thoughts And the other piece is the body therapy So the same guy who's the karate champion who taught me about masculine and feminine and and created this workout His main thing is this body therapy system in Copenhagen called body SDS body self development system which is on a massage table and it's It, it heals all kinds of physical, emotional, mental, spiritual thing, issues, as well as not just the healing, but really the, the supporting the full expression of life, which is why it's, it's been a go to for my, of mine since 2007, when I discovered it, and I'm actually working on bringing it to the US.

Um, the first session I had there was, Um, like you're on a table, it's like a 50 minute session typically, and they work on your front side, and then eventually get [01:00:00] to your, your belly area, which they call the, the emotional switchboard. And he worked in there for like, I don't know, like 5, 10, I don't remember, but like something like that, 10 minutes.

And then I started crying. And at this point, it's 2007, I'd never, I think the last time I cried was maybe when I was, 12, 13, 14 or something. I don't know, but like young teenager. And I remember some episodes where I saw a really emotional scene in a movie and I felt like tears were coming, but I couldn't.

I was, I wish I could cry, but I couldn't. I couldn't let, I wasn't able to let myself cry. And so here, like, boom, just started crying and crying and crying and the guy left the room. I was just on my own lying in there after he'd done his thing in my belly. And I was like, crying and crying and crying and then laughing, which is the weirdest fucking feeling.

The first time you try this, like you have these like, deep, deep, like bawling, sulking, and then like, and then you start laughing. [01:01:00] And then there's another way of crying and then some laughter again, and you just kept going for 20 minutes. And then it would calm down you. he came back in, flipped me around, worked on my backside for a bit.

And then, like, after that, I was like, I was alive. I was alive in a way that I hadn't experienced in like, ever as long as I could remember. I'm sure it was when I was a baby, but I wasn't conscious. So, or I wasn't, couldn't remember. So like, that has been a massive, um, massive, uh, benefit for me, which is why I'm so passionate about it.

I still go and still, you know, open new layers to me. The last time I was just there last week and, and like, like part of my system has been this like deep fear that has run everything, which is why I drank. Right. Because that would calm it down. And then, um, and then, like when, then when I quit drinking, um, This might be TMI, but then when I quit drinking, I had [01:02:00] diarrhea non stop for three years.

Because my, my system was just running on this on, on, you know, adrenaline on, on like an overactive sympathetic nervous system. And so like calming that down and like, and then it's fascinating because then like my calves are huge because the calves are linked to kidneys, which are, about that fear energy, which is also hearing and ears.

And so like, I'm kind of sensitive to sounds and things like that. So like, I love how all these things tie together. And so now when I worked with him last week, he was like, Ooh, kidneys are really starting to release and relax now. And you can get from, you're moving from that fear control into loving life, which is the enjoying life, which is the other side of the kidney energy.

So that has been a massive. massive thing for me. And the spiritual teacher side of things, like Bodhi's name, what he did with me was like, notice the [01:03:00] sensations in my body. So whenever we, we, we have feelings and we label them, when you pay attention, you'll notice that underneath that label, if you ignore the label, there is a sensation in the body somewhere there's like wobbling in the chest or tingling somewhere or whatever.

And then we go into the sensation in the body. And that's really what we do the time travel on is the sensation work. What, what does this remind me of? But when you can just be with the sensations and not be like happy in the story and the label of what the feeling is, it dissipates when you just put your focus and awareness on the sensation that you feel in the body, it starts to leave, it starts to go away, it doesn't stay.

And yeah, like there's no reason not to just start. Playing with this thing, being aware of, just start by being aware of what you're actually feeling, especially at a body sensation level. Like, what am I actually noticing in my [01:04:00] body right now?

Brent Dowlen: Now, Jens, if this is sounding a little too woo woo for you, I want you to simplify this thought just a little bit, okay?

Most men who have ever seen a chiropractor have heard, oh, you carry all your tension in your shoulders, right? If you haven't seen a chiropractor, maybe you haven't heard this, Uh, our massage therapist, if you've seen either, most of them have told you, Oh, you carry your tension here are here, right? When they're working on certain muscle groups, they're like, Oh, wow.

This is where all your stress sits. Now that's a really simple version of what the Calvin is talking about. This, uh, different, I don't want to, I don't know if I want to call it a therapy that you're talking about. Uh, that your friend developed, but this different approach that he's gotten into is going deeper than that initial very surface of a massage therapist.

But everything that your body is connected, [01:05:00] everything in science tells us this. We know, right. There are pressure points in your feet and hands that if you rub them, they relieve pressure, they fix things in your body. We know this, this is all science. We know adjusting your spine releases energy and lets it flow naturally.

Uh, I had a chiropractor talk to me about releasing electricity to let that energy flow. I was like, Oh, I never thought of it like that. Right. So we all know science backs this. So before you go, Oh, this sounds a little, no, this is actually science backed guys. It's just a different explanation of it than you might have heard in the past.

I love you. So you started having more vision, uh, for the future. I was talking to a woman's coach the other day, and that was one of the things she said, this is just so masculine about men is when they can, you know, have that vision for the future of your relationship or whatever, in this case, work as well for you.

Uh, but that is just one of those masculine [01:06:00] energies women appreciate about men's is being able to forecast a vision and an ideal direction. Kalman. We had to start to land this plane. So tell me if, if the people listening today want to start on this journey, right? They, they've got a plate starting point.

We've talked about some checkpoints to start looking at their own lives. What are the first three steps our listeners can implement right now to start on this journey of stepping into their masculine energy and living the life they want to.

Calvin Correli: Number one, curiosity, like what is my, okay. What is my current understanding of masculine and feminine?

And where am I seeing that expressed? I remember back when I start first started looking at this, I'd be at restaurants, and I'd look around at the couples at the tables around me. And I saw how, like, many of the guys were like, [01:07:00] flowing and their energy was like, they're like, you know, a lot of long hair and like drinking a lot and their energy is all there.

And the women were like, all you could kind of see in their faces, they were like, kind of stiff and, and looked like, like, like they're holding kind of thing. And they're like, much more tight energy wise. I'm like, Oh, shoot, that's what that looks like when the polarities is reversed. And, um, so start just by being curious and aware of.

what you're seeing as a number two is build workout, build your, build your body, but do it in a way where you bring your little boy and where it's, it's love, not punishment, where it's, it's reward for living, not punishment. Number three is notice whenever you get triggered by a situation and then do.

Whenever you can, maybe not in the same situation. If you can, it's [01:08:00] great. If not, like whenever you can after, put yourself back into that emotional state, notice what those sensations are and then do the time travel on it.

Brent Dowlen: All right. Where's

Calvin Correli: the best place for people to connect with you Calvin? Instagram is where I'm most active right now.

So just my name, Calvin Corelli, two R's, two, one R, what is it? C O R R E L I, two R's, one L, sorry.

It's right there on the screen. So yeah, Calvin Corelli, On, uh, on Instagram and just, yeah, hit me up, DM me. Say you found me on the fallible man podcast and just say hi.

Brent Dowlen: And guys, we'll have all of Calvin's links for you. Of course, make sure you will connect, be able to connect with him and find out what he's doing.

He's got a lot of really cool things going on. What's, what's next for Calvin Re

Calvin Correli: Um, I love what I'm doing. I love what I'm doing. So much like the, the software and the, and the coaching. I've been doing this for over 15 years and I feel like I'm, I'm finally [01:09:00] figuring this thing out. Like, isn't that, isn't that funny?

Like, you can, you can keep exploring new layers in all of life and it's, it's just a gift honestly,

Brent Dowlen: to be alive. Are, are we gonna see you as a special advisor to the president Eventually? I, I, I love, yeah. guys go, go read a story. He has huge aspirations of, uh, being a presidential advisor on some very cool things.

So like I said, go, go check that out. Uh, if you want a better explanation of that. Now I know you're all worried about the movie. 10 things I hate about you. What is based on what plate is you randomly guess came to me the shoe, cause you have no idea. You actually got the right one. It's actually based on the team of the shrew.

It's a 19 early nineties cop team drama comedy. Uh, based right here in my great straight of Washington was actually filmed in Tacoma. Uh, so, you know, all, all of you movie critics, I know y'all are actually deeply troubled by not knowing that, right? Galvin, you know, the one time I did not actually like give the answer, I [01:10:00] actually got negative feedback, so I have to answer it, even though that was like the most useless part of the show.

Galvin, if our listeners heard nothing else from you today. Wrap us out. What's the one thing you absolutely want them to hear can be anything just be who the fuck you are I love it guys for Calvin and myself. Thanks for hanging out with us today Be better tomorrow because what you do today and we'll see you on the next one

David McCarter: This has been the fellow man podcast your home for everything man husband and father Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show head over to www.

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