45 Cheat Codes that I Know at 45 that I Wish I Knew at 25

45 Cheat Codes that I Know at 45 that I Wish I Knew at 25

D Brent Dowlen: [00:00:00] Life gets easier when you try and make it harder. How about this one? Health is wealth. Now, both of these are valid pieces of wisdom that often comes with age, because we're stubborn when we're younger. But what pieces of wisdom would you go back and tell your younger self? I think all of us have wished we could go back in time and give ourselves a cheat sheet, so to say.

Kind of like Back to the Future 2. Now I may be dating myself there, but if you haven't seen it, you've got to see it at least once. Right? Go back and give ourselves just the keys to the kingdom, so to say. Things that will make that impact in our lives. Well, today's episode is as close as that gets. As I celebrate 45 years this week, yes, it's my birthday this week.

I'm sharing 45 cheat codes that I wish I knew at 25. Things that could have saved me years of trial and error. Things that could have set me ahead and started me off on a stronger foot. Now I've seen other people do [00:01:00] this and normally I'm not one for trends. It's not my thing. But I have asked enough of my guests what they would tell their younger selves.

It seemed kind of fair. And honestly, I hope that someone will be able to grab at least one or two of these chunks of wisdom that I've learned and save themselves from headaches. Now, three things you need to know before we dive into this. Normally I talk to men, but this list will benefit anyone. And I truly hope that my daughters will look back at this one day and learn some things that will help them along the way as well.

Number two, if you're watching the video, yes, I am absolutely reading this list because it took me 10 pages to write this script out. And I don't know if I need ginkgo biloba, but my brain is not that impressive when it comes to that memory. So writing out 10 pages of, you know, I started writing the script a couple of weeks ago, putting together all of those things.

So yes, I am reading the script straight off. Number three, this is a list isn't in any particular order. Each one of these cheat codes is [00:02:00] something I've learned through experience, usually the hard way. Some are from things that I've actually been smart enough to listen to someone else and benefit from their knowledge.

But a lot of these, I've just learned the hard way. But all of these things have impacted who I am today. And I think we'll have profound impact on anybody who takes this piece of wisdom. Now, whether it's a mindset, a habit or a life strategy, these things are wish things I wish. Someone had actually convinced me to pay attention to learn or listen to back when I was in my twenties.

So let's get started. Number one, morning routines are less about routine and more about just starting with wins. The real power of a morning routine isn't in the structure. It's about setting the tone for your day by stacking small wins early. You've been around the channel before. You probably heard me talk about that.

This creates momentum that carries you successfully forward into your day in a positive light. Number two, you can [00:03:00] program your brain to force you into the right place mentally. That might be bed. That might be workout. That might be focusing on work. Your mind and your body are deeply connected. The more you train yourself to associate certain actions with like working out are going to bed at a certain time with specific sounds and smells, the easier it will become to switch gears when you need to, for example, and I have been teased about this mercilessly, mercilessly.

I programmed my children from the time they were babies, that when I play a certain soundtrack, I have a certain artist and a certain, you know, album I play, uh, Adele 25, I think is the album, but from the time they were babies at bedtime every night, I play this religiously. They've maybe had one or two nights in their entirety of their life.

They have not had this played. This works like a charm and it has trained them that [00:04:00] when they hear it, they automatically start going into shut down and sleep mode. I have a workout soundtrack. I have a bedtime soundtrack. I have a work list play soundtrack that I use to put my brain into the right place.

I cannot want to go to the gym. I have a certain soundtrack I turn on, that first song comes in, by the end of the first three minutes, I am fired up and ready to go to the gym. You can absolutely program yourself for success. Number three, there are musical frequencies that will actually help you focus and work more efficiently.

Now, this is a newer revelation for me. Certain sound frequencies, we're talking about hertz ranges, as we talk about frequencies with music, can enhance your focus. It can reduce your anxiety. It can actually help with like ADHD. Research has shown that bio neutral beats, for example, can help with, with concentration and actually produce, boost your particular [00:05:00] productivity.

I actually have an eight hour music loop that I now listen to pretty much every time I'm working because. I work faster. I work more productively. I stay focused. I get distracted less easily. It has made a huge shift in my ability to get things done more efficiently. And I absolutely love it. And there's musical frequencies for things besides just focus and work.

Number four, TV, gaming, and social media will absolutely steal your life. Now in the moment. These might seem like escapes or ways to relax, but over time, they steal your attention and your energy. And those are two of the most valuable things you have. There are racks and racks of PhDs working at networks who do nothing, but study ways to get you sucked into these shows.

And all of a sudden you find [00:06:00] out you're spending two to four to six hours a night watching television series that are never going to make your life better. Now I'm a movie guy and I love movies. I love relaxing, but I found out at one point in my life, several years ago, I stopped watching because I was watching, I think eight different TV series.

And to keep up with those, I was burning 10 hours of my week or more every week on TV shows, just to keep up without adding anything to it. Those are 10 hours of productivity. I never get back. I actually had a gaming addiction that I had to walk away from. Because I did the math guys. I lost three years of my life on one game when I racked up all the playtime.

So understand these things are designed to grab your attention and they will absolutely steal your life. Yes. I understand. I'm not saying you can't entertain yourself from time to time, [00:07:00] but it takes no time before those things are taking all your time. Number five. Discipline, humility, and work ethic are superpowers.

These are the ultimate life hacks. When you master these three things, discipline, humility, and work ethic, you can achieve anything regardless of talent or circumstances. Number six, and I'm not going to hold up fingers. If you're watching the video, I keep trying to hold up a finger. I don't have 45 fingers to hold up.

Number six, one millisecond of anger can destroy 20 years of work. Men are often accused of being emotionless. Emotionless are not expressing their emotions. Well, the problem is that we're taught to be logical and our brains naturally want to be logical. There's nothing wrong with emotions and you should process them healthily.

However, emotions can and will cloud your judgment and anger can make you act out in ways that [00:08:00] you will regret a single outburst can destroy your life. Just go ask all the guys in jail. Number seven, three skillsets combined will set you up for life. This is something I did not understand until earlier this year.

If you will start mastering communication, marketing, and sales, Those three skills, you can set yourself up for life. The earlier you start, the better mastering these three skills. You'll give you the tools to navigate nearly every challenge you will ever have in life from advancing your career to building your own business.

I wish these are actually like marketing and sales are the two things I avoided like the plague coming up through my career. And now in hindsight. I wish I had known how critical they were to success in every area of your life. If you're in your twenties, master those three skillsets, communication, marketing, sales.[00:09:00]

There is nothing in the world you can't get done. By the way, I guess I should throw that piece in there. By the way, my name is Brent. If we haven't met before and welcome to the fallible man podcast, where we dive into everything about being a better man, husband, and father. Uh, Sorry, I got into the list and forgot to introduce myself.

Whoops. Let's get back into the list because we've got a lot to go. Number eight, be selective of who you spend your time with. They will dictate your future. Now everybody's heard the cliche of you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, which is taken out of one guy's speech.

And it was kind of a bastardized version of what he actually said. However, practical experience has taught me that you have to choose wisely because the right people will inspire you to level up while the wrong ones can absolutely hold you back. You're going to have a lot of people come and go in your life.

[00:10:00] Be super selective of who you actually spend your time with, because if they're not helping you level up, they're helping you stay where you are or worse. They're pulling you back. Number nine, build first, like everything else will fall into place. If you could tell your, my twenties, if I could tell my 20 self, something self, it would be build self, build wealth, build your goals, build first, before you focus on anything else, focus on building yourself, your mindset, your health, and your skillsets.

When you're in a position of strength, everything else aligns naturally. Women in fun will distract you and possibly waylay you in your life early on, because you'll find falling in the same trap that gets you, that gets a lot of people, a lot of guys in a trashy in their lives because early in their life, they get waylaid chasing women.

And partying and having fun. [00:11:00] And they miss that critical building phase before they are into their thirties. If more guys focus on that building phase. It would be amazing what would happen. Number 10, a good coach is a cheat button. They can save you decades. I don't say this because I'm a coach. I say this because I utilize coaches.

A coach can fast track your success by helping you avoid mistakes and providing tools and wisdom. You might spend years figuring out on your own. Don't be afraid to seek guidance from someone else. Who's already done it guys. I have coaches. I utilize coaches. It's not because I'm a coach, But what I found out was by working with a coach who already knows this stuff so much better than you really, you can knock decades off a process.

So don't [00:12:00] be afraid to find a great coach for whatever your goals are. Number 11, no one cares. It may be one of the most profound things you ever hear. No one cares. Everyone's focused on their own life. They don't care about yours. There is a handful of people that that is not true about. Those are generally family members, maybe your best friend, but everybody else is focused on their life.

It's not because they don't like you are because they think you're a bad person or a schmuck or whatever. It's because they're all focused on their own life. It's a harsh truth. Most people are consumed with their own challenges. They're not worried about your struggles because they got their own. That means you have the freedom to pursue your own path without being concerned about what other people think.

Cause really nobody's paying attention. I've been a personal trainer for years. I've met so many people who are uncomfortable going to the gym because they're [00:13:00] afraid they're going to get judged. No one cares. Everybody there is working on themselves. There might be one or two douchebags who are just exactly that douchebags who pick on somebody else, but the majority of gym culture, if you're in there working on yourself.

They're all for you, but they don't care because they're working on them. Number 12, if they rack on you, okay. If people are ragging on you, that's, that was a nineties term. Maybe that's not the right term these days. The simple truth is they're jealous of where you are or where you're going because people who criticize you often do so out of envy or insecurity, or they don't want you to outpace them and get ahead of them.

People ahead of you. We'll never take the time to put you down. They're going to lift you up. If anything, people who are where you want to go, people who are ahead of you in life, they don't take the time to criticize people who are behind them. So [00:14:00] don't take criticism from people who haven't done what you're aiming to do.

Number 13, this is going to be a long list guys. Make your bed, do the dishes. How you do small things will set the pace for how you do everything else in your life. The military figured this out years ago. It's part of basic training. The special forces teams start with these things as well. Little things matter.

We talked about the first thing we talked about was morning routine, right? That's nothing to do with the routine so much as starting with small wins. Doing the little things is about succeeding at things and building wins. If you can learn to succeed at those things, you will learn to succeed at the other things in your life.

So do the little things, make your bed, do the dishes, clean the house, take out the trash, do the laundry. You all the little. Insignificant. That's air quotes for all of you listening. Insignificant seeming things because how you handle [00:15:00] those sets the pace for how you do everything else. Number 14, get your ass up.

Every notably successful person that you can find anything on starts before 6am. It's not about being a morning person. I get it. I was not a morning person, but I've been getting up and having to be at work at 6am over 20 years now. It's not about being a morning person. It's about getting up early enough to start the day.

With purpose. Most successful people start their days earlier to get a head start on the rest of the world. Lazy people stay in bed, successful people get up and get to work and get after it while everybody else is still groggy. Number 15, work first and get it done. Play later when you have nothing to pull yourself back to work on.

I learned this from a former [00:16:00] girlfriend back in high school. It was one of the most profound pieces of wisdom. I actually learned what I was in high school. Was focus on your productivity first. When you've earned your free time through focused work, you'll enjoy it more because you won't be distracted by the things you have to stop having fun and go back and do.

That was a life philosophy for her that she passed on to me and it has profoundly impacted my entire life. Work first, don't work for a little while, then play for a little while. Work first, see it through, get it done. And then when you do have time to play, you can actually just play and relax. Number 16, time and attention are the most valuable commodities in the world.

Spin it wisely. Time is a truly finite resource. Attention is even more scarce because everybody wants it. Every company has ridiculous numbers of PhDs and master's [00:17:00] degrees, working on ways to get you to pay attention to them. Every moment you spend is a moment you never get back. So be intentional about where you focus that energy.

That goes back to that warning. When we were talking about games and TV shows and social media, like there are literally scientists figuring out how to make you more addicted to Instagram and Facebook.

As crazy as that sounds, there's a whole slew of them right now, trying to figure out how to keep you there and doing nothing else, because that is where they make their money is selling your time and attention. Number 17, marrying well is the biggest hack of all. There is nothing. More impacting than making sure you choose the right partner.

When you say I do the right partner will elevate your entire life. It will level you up. [00:18:00] A strong marriage provides stability, support and foundation to achieve everything in life you want, because now you're going through it as a team. So if you are going to get married, make sure that you are marrying a woman who brings out the best in you and has as much ambition as you do.

If not more, that is the game changer. Number 18, define your why this is the core that will carry you through everything else. You got to struggle through knowing your, why gives you the clarity and motivation to push through obstacles. It's your anchor. When life gets tough, it's your compass. When you feel lost coming back to your, why there's a reason that Simon Sinek's book start with why I had to look behind me in my bookshelf.

There's a reason that Simon Sinek's book start with why. earned a sequel and both of them have been on the international bestsellers list. [00:19:00] for a very long time. Why? Because it is a super power. When you can define that, why it is enough to carry you through the hard times. Number 19, if it takes less than two minutes, do it now.

This simple rule can drastically improve your productivity. Small tasks that seem insignificant pile up and all of a sudden there's a. Mountain of insignificant little tasks that will eat your day. So handle them as soon as they come up and free your mind for more important things. Number 20, don't manage your time, manage your energy.

Time's always moving forward. Totally out of your control. Like you have no say over it. No matter what you do, you will have less in a few minutes from now. Less time in a few minutes from now than you did five minutes ago. Time is linear, but your energy fluctuates. So focus on managing your emotional and mental energies [00:20:00] on things that matter and time will be less of an issue.

I could do a whole show on that one, but we'll leave it there. 21. If you aren't turning down things that excite you. Then you're not focused on something that matters enough to you. Opportunities are absolutely everywhere. If you're not saying no to most of them, then you're not prioritizing things that truly matter in your life.

Focus on your top goals and everything else will fall into place. It's really easy for me to turn down things because I'm working on my business. It's really easy because I'm. Working on something that I've dedicated a lot of money to and a lot of time too. And so it's really easy for me to turn down things that, yeah, it sounds like it might be entertaining or interesting or kind of fun, but I have my priorities set and if you're not working on things that are that important to you, that you're turning [00:21:00] down some of those fun things.

Um, I heard, Oh man, I just went blank on her name. I was listening to one of the big YouTube personalities. And Cody Sanchez, and she has a hard fast rule about the answer on school nights is no period, even though she's, you know, in her twenties or. Low thirties. I don't remember school nights or no during the week.

She doesn't say yes to anything that doesn't have to do with doing work. She doesn't go out. She doesn't party. She doesn't go out with a friend. She hasn't got to dinner school nights or no. It's part of this philosophy of she is focused on what she's doing so much. So, because she cares about what she's doing, that the other yay kind of moments are insignificant to her 22.

See, I keep trying to do the hand motion. If you're. 22. A lion doesn't have to roar to tell people it's a [00:22:00] lion to be recognized. Confidence doesn't have to be loud. True strength speaks for itself. Your actions, your character, and your results will speak louder than words ever could. Guys, People who have to brag about something are lying to you and everybody else.

23 growth is rarely accompanied by joy and celebration. This is a painful truth that I wish I could have told myself back in my twenties so much. So growth often comes with discomfort, sacrifice, and challenges. It's not always a fun process, but it's necessary. The rewards come later when you've built something lasting.

Take a minute and wrap your head around that one. 24. Everyone has a cross to bear. Now, this is something I learned from the late great Robin Williams. If you don't know who you are now, I'm very feeling [00:23:00] old. Uh, you absolutely are familiar with his work. No matter how old you are, you may not know it. No one's life is without struggle.

We all carry burdens and sometimes we don't see the way others are carrying. So be kind. Everyone is fighting battles. You can't see. We learned this from one of the greatest comedians of our age when he tragically took his own life in depression because no one could see the pain he was in. So understand everybody has a cross to bear.

Being kind doesn't cost you anything. Everybody is fighting something. So be kind. Everybody has their own cross. Number 25 money is a tool to do things that actually matter. And there's a ton of it. Let me put it. I had to put a couple of comments in there. Money is a tool period. It's a tool to do things that matter, comma.

And there's a ton of [00:24:00] it. I was not raised with a healthy money mindset because my dad didn't have a healthy money mindset. He didn't know to have a healthy money mindset. Money isn't the goal. No one wants to be rich. Just to be Scrooge McDuck and sit in a tower with a big pile of gold and count their coins and go.

Yeah, I'm rich Money isn't the goal. It's a tool to help you do the things you want to do What people want is the ability to control their time their schedule and do the things they want to do It's a tool and there's plenty of it in the world because most governments just mass print it So focus on using it wisely and you'll always have enough.

You don't have to be rich to be successful. You don't have to have a ton of money to do good things or do things you want to do. Money is just a tool. It is not the end goal, but there is a ton of it out there. And that's something I wish I had learned. Because I had a really unhealthy relationship with money for a long time.[00:25:00]

Now, gents and ladies, if you're listening, we got to cut to our sponsors. We'll be right back with number 26.

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D Brent Dowlen: Welcome back guys.

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There are, you can still get gifts right now, and there are all kinds of sales going on at my pillow. [00:27:00] Thanks Mike Lindell and my pillow for being sponsored for the show and for giving our listeners a discount, you guys can go anytime, mypillow. com and use code TFM at checkout and receive a massive discount.

We love it. I guarantee you'll love it. Let's get back to the show. Number 26, people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I knew this. I did not come up with that saying, the reason season a lifetime because I don't rhyme that well, but this is something I have learned over my lifetime because I've lived all over the place.

I haven't lived in one place. Like a lot of people do. I live north to south and coast to coast, not every relationship. It's meant to last forever. Some people are in your life for a single purpose. They're there to lift you up in time and you had no idea why they were in your life until later. Others are there for a purpose.

A time period, some for a short period, sometimes for a long period. And some will be there through the highs and lows. [00:28:00] Recognize which category people belong to. And don't weep over people who are only there for a season. Twenty seven. Don't ever fight to stay connected with a person who doesn't. Fight equally to stay connected with you.

Healthy relationships are reciprocal. If you're the only one putting in any effort, it's time to reassess the relationship and invest your energy somewhere else, you are allowed to cut people out of your life. You don't owe anybody your time or your energy. And if they're toxic, unproductive are just not reciprocal in the relationship, protect your piece, protect your future, cut out the negative influences that are dragging you down.

Number 28, the secret to health. It's absolutely free. It is movement. It is weightlifting. It is sunshine. It was water is farm, fresh food and air. [00:29:00] These things don't cost anything. Well, farm, fresh food does. These things are low costs, but they're the best things for a long, energetic life movement is the fountain of youth.

People who keep moving, live longer, healthier lives. People who lift weights a couple of times a week. You don't have to be like a bodybuilder live longer, healthier lives. I have deadlifted with a woman who was 87 years old before and she was kicking ass. It was amazing. I know 60 year olds who can barely walk, but this woman's deadlifting 87 years old.

It's amazing. It is a cheat card for staying healthy. I could spend multiple episodes telling you all about that. Cause I used to be a personal trainer. Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk some more, stand, be out in the fresh air, spend ample time in the sunlight. Walk barefoot in the [00:30:00] grass and eat non processed foods.

The health and food industry are complete scams and they're only out to make money. They poison us all day long to make bigger profits. We have pharmaceutical companies in this country that have never cured anything in over a hundred years of business. Why it's not profitable to cure things. Sunshine, fresh air, drinking plenty of water, being out in nature, movement.

These are the keys to a happy, healthy life. 29. Create a community that makes you better. Okay, now, some of you don't want to create a community. That's fine. Surround yourself with a community of people who make you better. We talked about earlier who you let around you, right? That's, that's important who you have around you.

So surround yourself with people who push you to be a, be better, who challenge you with you, who challenged you, who support your growth, people who elevate [00:31:00] you, people who are going and growing someplace you want to grow to, and then some fine community with those people. Right. You'll see it on Facebook all the time.

And I hate to quote anything on Facebook, but somebody posted it at some point. Right. And then everybody in their dog posted it. Okay. If you hang out with nine smokers, you're going to be the 10th. If you hang out with nine alcoholics, you're going to be the 10th. If you hang out with nine successful business people, you'll be the 10th.

The community you surround yourself with will either destroy you or they're going to lift you up. 30, your focus. What you focus on expands your attention is your most powerful tool. Whatever your focus on, whether it's positive or negative will grow exponentially. Make sure you're channeling your energy into things that serve your goals.

Don't focus on the negative. Don't focus on [00:32:00] the bad. Don't focus on the crooked companies and blah, blah, blah, blah. What you focus on expands. So make sure you're focusing on things that serve your goals. 31 create a life on purpose. Be intentional. Don't don't default to just the norm. Okay. Too many people live their lives by default, reacting to the circumstances that they're exposed to instead of actually creating the life they want.

Take control of your own life. Control your destiny by designing your future rather than letting life just happen to you. Life is a journey. It's not a ride. Does that track? Are we there? Life is a journey. The difference between a ride and a journey Is a journey takes action or ride. You just strap in.[00:33:00]

Don't take the ride. Take the journey, create a life by design 32. Don't ever, ever shrink yourself to make other people feel comfortable about their situation. You don't have to downplay who you are, your success, your accomplishments to make other people feel comfortable, stand tall and proud of what you've achieved

being who you are. And be proud of that. I have a friend who often shrinks his own success to

not step on the toes of someone he knows guys do it with humility. Don't downplay who you are. You are valuable. You have a great story. You can be the master of your own [00:34:00] destiny. Don't feel like you have to be less 33. Keep learning, keep asking questions, never stop learning. The most successful people in the world are lifelong learners.

Never stop growing. Never stop asking questions. Never stop seeking new knowledge. The world is always evolving and so should you. You will never in your life run out of things to learn. And that includes if we break it down to useless knowledge or useful knowledge. You will never learn all the useful knowledge in the world that can make your life better.

Number 34.

I knew this list was wrong when I wrote it. Thanks for sticking with me guys. Personal responsibility is a force multiplier, taking full responsibility for your actions, your outcomes, your life, your choices, what happens to you, whether it's your fault or not is the ultimate force multiplier power move.[00:35:00]

When you own your decisions, when you own every bit of your life, You are in control of you, which is the most powerful position. You can be in to crow to great movie, the replacements, every quarterback wants the ball where the game is on the line. You always want the game, the control of the game in your hand.

You never want to be reactive. Number 35. The happiest people in life are givers, not takers. True happiness comes from giving, whether it's your time, resources, or support. Givers create stronger connections, and their lives are richer. So, be a creator instead of a consumer. Create joy. Create experiences.

Create happiness. You know, you don't have to be like a creator, like a YouTube creator or something like that. You can create amazing things around you, build [00:36:00] things, give things to the world. Don't be a consumer. Consumers are useless. Just. Be a giver. You will never regret giving your best to people.

Number 36, get up and be what you want everybody else to be. If you want to see honest, if you want honesty and kindness and ambition from other people, be an example, people mirror your actions more than your words. So lead by example, if you wish that someone was a great father, then be a great father and be the example.

If you wish somebody was. A great employer set the example, even if you work for them, you can show them what that should look like. Get up and be what you want everybody else to be. Now, if this is starting to seem like a whole lot. And I understand this is a long list. Trust me. My water bottle is right [00:37:00] here.

My beautiful, the fallible man, TFM water bottle, shameless plug that you can find on my website or along with other TFM merch. But if this is starting to feel like a lot, I understand. And so, uh, A place to start. You can find our companion download page on the website. There's a link in the show notes, and there's a free download that goes with this episode.

That's a starting point for you. You don't have to give me an email or anything. It's just a free download that goes because this is a really long list. So it's a starting point. You'll also be able to find this whole list on my blog. Later 37, you can think yourself through 90 percent of all situations, no amount of hard work is going to make up for a bad plan.

And if your strategy is flawed, No amount of effort will lead you to the result you desire. However, if you remove the emotions from the situation, you can logic [00:38:00] reason and recalculate your way to a solution for almost every single project, problem or issue. I said, right. For every project, problem or issue, you can absolutely remove the emotion and logic, reason, recalculate your way.

Out of them all to find the solution. Now that solution may take you a totally different direction. Like I said, you can't outwork a bad plan, just like you can't out exercise a bad diet, but it will take you to a better place instead of banging your head against the wall. Over and over and over and over again, but you're gonna have to remove the emotion, swallow the pride and logic your way out of it.

38 take advice from people who have gotten the results you want to let want in life on this channel. You will not find me talking about how to make a million dollars because I haven't made a million dollars. [00:39:00] There's no need to reinvent the wheel. So seek advice from those who have already achieved what you're aiming for and learn from their experiences on the channel.

We focus on finding your mission. We focus on being good husbands and fathers. We focus on living as the people that we want to be. Those are things I can help you with. You don't come here to find out how to be a great CEO, because I'm bad at business. You don't come here to find out how to make a million dollars, because, like I said, I haven't done that yet.

Working on it. Haven't done that yet. So, find people who have gotten the results you want already to take advice from when you're trying to step up in life. 39. Lose arguments on purpose so you can go along with your day. This one took me a long time to learn because I like to argue with people. I do. I love arguing with people.

I think it's funny. I don't get mad anymore. I, I just, I actually like to laugh at people. Um, I think it's hilarious watching [00:40:00] people just dig. So I've had to work on conditioning myself to this, but the truth is not every battle is worth fighting. And sometimes. Just letting go of the argument is the wisest decision you'll make.

It will preserve peace. If you're a person who gets emotionally involved and it will stop the energy suck and the time suck of the argument, because let's face it, your time and energy and focus is more important than winning 99 percent of arguments that you don't actually care about anyway, and they're not going to matter in an hour.

If it won't matter in five years, don't spend more than five minutes on it. I think it's one of the things I heard Alex Ramos, you say, or something like that, different way of putting it, lose arguments on purpose. So you can just go along with your day instead of wasting your time. Number 40, there I go.

Trying to like hold fingers up again. You get tested the most when you're about to level up. Now, [00:41:00] this is a hard truth because I've heard it too many times. Challenges often appear right before you make the biggest leaps or advancements in your plans. So don't be discouraged when you get hammered with difficulties as you're trying to level up in different goals and areas of your life.

The tests are proof that you're actually on the verge of something bigger. And there's no way through the storm, but to weather it. 41 most education is based on ridiculously outdated or corrupted information. I'm going to have some people in the comment section who really get pissed off at this one.

However, the majority of formal education is completely worthless. Principles, data sets, information studies are outdated or corrupted by people with disabilities. Individual agendas, you're going to have to teach yourself [00:42:00] and be selective about your sources. I have a huge, like, I probably should do an entire show when I wanted to learn how to bench press better.

I read a hundred different articles. I watched a hundred different YouTube videos. I read a hundred different magazines. Those are articles too. Sorry. And blog posts. Right. And I took what all of those agreed on piece by piece and found the four or five things they all agreed on. And when, okay, enough people agree on these six foundational points, then that's probably valid.

Okay. Be discerning. For example, I gave up on it certifications. I worked in the it sector for years. I gave up on it certifications in the industry because the truth is by the time the curriculum is written, formatted, peer reviewed, and approved to be published, [00:43:00] It's already outdated. The industry moves too fast.

Another example, the food pyramid was the epitome of health growing up. It's what we were taught in health class from the time I was in kindergarten, all the way to the time I graduated high school, we now know that doctors were actually paid off by the grain industry. To formulate that food pyramid. And that's not actually the epitome of health.

We know that because that was taught as the epitome of health. We do not live in the healthiest nation. So understand most information is either outdated or was paid for by special interest. You have to be very discerning about educating yourself. So be selective and learn to teach yourself. 42. Nobody cares about your story until you win massively.

We live in a world of insta fame. People are often indifferent to your struggles until you are successful. Once you [00:44:00] win big, everybody, everybody cares all of a sudden. Your story becomes something of inspiration and that's why people start listening to you. Nobody cares until you win massively. And the funny thing is, nobody cares unless you win massively.

And things that they think are important, whether they're important or not, you can win massively in really critical areas of life, but those aren't the areas that most people are fascinated with. They're not the sparkly, shiny. Things, and unless you win big in one of the sparkly shiny things, that's why everybody, the media pays so much attention and people pay so much attention to like actors.

They're rich. They're famous as glitzy as glamorous as shiny there. They haven't accomplished anything, but they have money. So they must know something. Nobody cares about your story until you win massively. [00:45:00] And most people will only care if you win massively in the areas that they think they want, whether that's what they actually need or want.

Thank you. 43, spend your money to save your time. This is something that I know a lot of, I have interviewed a lot of very wealthy people. This is something I have learned from them. This is something I have learned from being around rich people. Rich people spend money to save time. Time is your most precious asset.

We talked about it earlier. By the time you finish this show, you'll have less time than you did. Hopefully you're getting something of value out of it. That's my goal. But the truth is, by the time you finish listening to this show or watching this show, you will have less time. You could always make more money, but you can't always get more time.

Sometimes it's worth [00:46:00] spending money. Often, this is the secret that rich people figure out. It's worth spending money to free up time, whether that's outsourcing task or using services to save you hours are buying tools that make your life easier. You'll find out most really, really ridiculously wealthy CEOs, right?

And you can find these guys on YouTube, right? And they'll tell you the truth. They pay somebody to do their grocery shopping. They pay somebody to do their cooking. They pay somebody to clean their house. They pay somebody to do their laundry. Why it's not necessarily because they're lazy. It's because paying somebody to take care of menial tasks that aren't worth their attention is worthwhile because of the time it frees up because their attention is more valuable somewhere else.

Number 44, 90 percent of the results will absolutely come from the last 10 percent of your work. The final stretch of any. Project or goal is often the [00:47:00] hardest, but a year is the greatest results forward. Most people are already familiar with the 80 20 rule, right? 80 percent of results come from 20 percent of your work.

90 10 percent of that effort and work. So focus on finishing strong because that's where success is going to actually truly lie. Number 45. We finally got there. Yes. Woo. Who you are is incredibly more important than what you have. And this is kind of what I was alluding to. When I was talking about people only care when you in massively about things they care about, like they get the happy, shiny things that people want.

They're famous, they're rich, whatever, who you are at the end of the day is far more important than what you have. Character can't be bought. Character is what people will remember. The cars, the house, the money, they come and go. [00:48:00] There are people who have a great deal of money out there who have lost it all, gained it all, lost it all.

All that is transient. When you die, you're not going to be rich anymore. At the end of your day, at the end of the time you have allotted in life, your character is what people will remember. Who you are is far more important than what you have. Now, guys, that's 45 things I wish I had learned or knew when I was 25.

I'm a huge fan of one to grow on. You can go back to my birthday squash videos, but I wanted to leave you with one more actually cutting this down to 45 was really difficult for me. So here's the last piece. One to grow on number 46. Don't be great at something you hate. Life is too short. Don't waste time being exceptional at things that don't bring you joy or fulfillment.[00:49:00]

Life's short. Focus, focus on the things that align with your passions and your values. With who you want to be, with what you want to be, with where you want to go. Focus your energy on those things. I've known people who were phenomenal At X, Y, or Z. I'll even give you a, it sounds like a brag. I was phenomenal in the it sector.

It's phenomenal at my job. I excelled at it everywhere. I went, I hated being in it. I absolutely hate being great at it was paying my bills far better than this does. I absolutely hated it. I hated going to work every day. I hated my life every day. I hated consuming my time. I hated trading my time for it.

Life is short. Focus your energy on things that matter, that align with who you want to be with your passions, with your [00:50:00] values, with your goals. And be a great at those things. Now let's land this plane. So there you have it. 45, well, 46 cheat codes that I wish I had had in my back pocket at 25. Some might hit you right where you are today.

Others might be things that you went, and others might be things you can work towards in years ahead. But here's the kicker. I'm sharing these things with you because I believe you're already capable of achieving greatness. I'm one of those crazy people. I think you're amazing. And I believe in you, whether you do or not.

So don't wait to start applying these things to your life. I worked and worked and worked. I started writing the script weeks ago. I worked and worked and worked to really tool down just things that I believe are absolute game changers in your life. [00:51:00] If I had had those much earlier in my life, instead of having to learn most of them the hard way, I would have.

Uh, I would have been in a totally different place, which I'm not going to cry over because I like where I'm at, but these things will absolutely impact your life for the better. Someone will come in phases, share this list with somebody who needs it. There are people in your life that you feel like they're not on the right path.

Are they're making stupid choices. You're going to find the complete list on my blog as well. And Hey, feel free to add some of your own wisdom in the comment section. I'd love to hear from you guys. Whether you are on YouTube or whether you message me on my blog or on social media, 'cause I'll put some of these there as well.

Add your wisdom to this because I know I'm not always the smartest guy in the room. I know I have a lot to learn. Big believer in that whole lifelong learner thing. So add your [00:52:00] wisdom as well to this list. Thanks for hanging out with me today on this birthday edition of The Fallible Man podcast. Be better tomorrow because of what you do today.

We'll see you on the next one.

David McCarter: This has been the Fallible Man podcast. Your home for everything man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www. thefallibleman. com for more content and get your own Fallible Man gear.